I found out tonight that the chefs are going to fail me this quarter. They will change the grade in April when I get in my ninety hours of internship, but my final grade for now is officially an F. Before I found that out, I experienced yet another injustice, and it took me a while to even feel like I could speak calmly to them.
Thankfully, I had a call with my awesome new wellness coach today, and she gave me the best advice! She told me to put myself in the chefs’ shoes the next time we have a toxic interaction. Even though practicing empathy should be obvious, usually I end up trying really hard to summon positivity and gratitude up from nowhere and then feel guilty when I give way to feeling upset or negative. Putting myself in the chefs’ shoes did help calm me down a bit, even though I still do not think their behavior has been remotely professional or appropriate.
On the way home, Abe spent the usual forty-five minute drive calming me down on the phone. He also gave great advice and told me to let God fight my battles for me. At this point, there is no question in either of our minds that the chefs have treated me with unusual harshness, but knowing that it is in God’s hands helps me feel better about just moving on and not calling out their behavior to administration.
On the other hand, I wonder if their behavior should be allowed to continue unchecked? I will continue pray about that one. Part of the problem is I feel so powerless to make a difference, and I also feel hopeless that the chefs would be able to take any type of criticism seriously. If they wouldn’t take it seriously, then what’s the point of going to the trouble? I don’t know.
Tom was so sweet and took pictures of me waitressing tonight. He, Suzanne, Abe and the girls were customers at the restaurant tonight. The girls were perfectly behaved, and I was so proud of them.
My face always blows up in pregnancy, and I have been doing a lot of stress eating/sleeping lately. It shows. Oh well. Hopefully this will all be over soon and I will have my normal life back.