therapy appointment

On Wednesday I dropped the kids off with Abe at 3:45pm and headed to my new therapist. I got lost and so was pretty late for the appointment, but I felt good talking to her. I am really looking forward to getting my anxiety and wrong thought patterns under control.

At one point, I’ll admit, I did feel kind of weird to be sitting in the office. I almost wished I were more dysfunctional to justify the time and money. I mean, I can take care of my kids, bond with my baby, and I’m not about to hurt anyone or myself. I can even be happy–given certain conditions, e.g. a lot of rest, order in the house, and peace between my kids. And I’m almost always happy if I’m just with Abe.

But I do have dysfunctional thought patterns and assumptions that I work off of, and I am in therapy to get those fixed. I just want to be in a place where I don’t always operate under the assumption that I am totally worthless and everybody hates me. (There’s a song I sing to Abe when I’m making fun of my thoughts and it goes like this: “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat worms!”)

So, hopefully, this is the start of something good.