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It’s one of those days. The weekend is over, Abe is at work, the sky is cloudy, and I feel melancholy. I can’t whine because I have nothing to whine about (other than the fact that I must look fat enough to deliver since today a random stranger  asked me if I was due soon and then looked shocked when I replied that the baby is actually due in March), so I’ve decided to cheer myself up by going around the house finding things that make me happy.

I know all the studies say that material goods don’t bring lasting pleasure and that, given a choice, you should spend your money on experiences that create memories instead of stuff. That philosophy appeals to me on many levels, and for the most part I am thrilled to throw away junk and focus energy on what matters (like the cake that I plan on baking when I’m done with this blog), but I am learning that there are certain objects that are valuable to me because they are attached to people and memories that I cherish.

For example, on our coffee table there is now a table runner made of fabric from the south of France. One summer my family visited my dear Auntie Sandy in Antibes, France, and I remember going to a fabric store while we were there. Sunlight streamed through the windows of the store, lighting up hundreds of breathtaking fabrics decorated with olives, flowers, and foliage. It felt like Christmas to me, and we had so much fun picking out beautiful material to take home to the States, where my grandma would turn these swaths of colorful fabric into tablecloths that we used regularly for the rest of my childhood.


There is also this part of my living room. The table is draped over with a cactus silk covering my brother sent to me while he was in Morocco, and the picture of the ship on the wall above was painted by my Uncle Steve. I love decorating with art created by family.

Here is a piece by Abe’s Aunt Andrea. In it you can see the faces of Abraham Lincoln and Abe’s grandfather, Alexander Darais. Abe’s family has always loved Abraham Lincoln (hence Abe’s name), and I have probably spent way too much time studying this painting and thinking about that connection.

Abe’s grandfather was a professor of art at BYU, and one of my favorite books in the house is a collection of his paintings and poems. It is delightful! I think Abe’s grandfather was way ahead of his time; decades before Michael Pollan and other contemporaries spotlighted the corruption of corporate agriculture, Alexander wrote poems contemplating the benefits of whole grains and painted pieces like this one, entitled, “Three Billion Served.” The photo of the picture is a little fuzzy, but if you look hard, you can make out the ghostly outlines of cows facing an open McDonald’s Big Mac carton.

Here’s the baby’s room in its current state. Obviously, it still undergoing the guest-to-baby room transformation, but I look in here at the soft colors and sunlight, and my heart feels happy.

Finally, this is a picture of the view from the toilet. I know, I know, but hey–I’m pregnant, and I spend a lot of time in the bathroom! While I’m in there, I like having interesting things to look at; otherwise, I’ll just sit there feeling sorry for myself and my over-burdened bladder. The vase was a staple accessory in my home growing up, and my mom recently gave it to me. The painting was an early lithograph of my Uncle Steve’s.

There! I think I feel better. Now off to bake a cake and listen to some Christmas music (we had an early Thanksgiving, so it’s allowed–I promise!).

This is Abe hard at work painting Lydia’s windowsills. The smile you see is forced. Because he is a textbook perfectionist, the task took him no less than nine hours. (There were a grand total of two windowsills in the room.) At hour number eight, he summoned me in the room for my opinion. To me, the windows looked great! I was anxious for him to be done so I could indulge in some of my lazier hobbies; I felt really guilty blog-stalking in bed while my husband spent his day off working hard on the baby’s room. (To my small credit, I could not help with the paint job because the paint fumes in our paint have been known to cause birth defects.) But when I expressed my enthusiasm for his good work, he interrupted me. “Oh, look!” he exclaimed, distraught. “Do you see that spot?”

“What spot?” I asked, trying hard to see what he was pointing at.

“That spot,” Abe said, pointing more specifically. I still didn’t see it.

“Ummm…”

It didn’t matter. He was already back at the window painting over imaginary spots. Did I mention I’m married to a perfectionist? Needless to say, the windows look fabulous, and Abe is now completely exhausted. He is currently winding down by playing Plants Vs. Zombies, and the sound effect of zombies saying “braaaaiins, braaaiins” makes for surprisingly soothing ambient noise as I type away.

We went to the temple this morning, and afterward Abe turned to me and told me that he’d gotten a spiritual impression to listen to General Conference while he painted today. His original plan involved watching the Utah vs. TCU game on TV, so when he got the impression to listen to General Conference instead, his heart sank just a little. But he was good and did what he felt was right–and in the end, Utah got destroyed by TCU, so Abe came out way more uplifted than if he had stuck with plan A. Yay for going to the temple and for spiritual guidance — especially when that involves eschewing sports on TV!

When it rains, it pours. Second post today…but I can’t help myself. Abe and his brothers made up a rap using a bunch of GRE words, and his brother just finished the video. His brother did the animation, too, which is great. Also, I didn’t recognize Abe at first. I listened to it without sound and really struggled to figure out which one he was! But then I turned the volume on and could tell right away. Here it is! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvZgMDNF-ok

So we found out on Thursday that we’re having a girl! I shed tears of joy upon hearing the news. All of my American Girl collection finally put into good use again! I knew there was a reason an entire closet of precious storage space is devoted to my dolls. Woo-hoo!

During the ultrasound, the technician kept pointing out all of our baby’s various body parts (the feet were exceptionally cute and exciting), but I was anxious to find out the gender. At one point, I pointed at the baby’s head and asked if that meant it was a girl. The technician got the hint (thank goodness) and switched to an image of our baby’s bottom. When she pointed out the lack of equipment between the legs, I started bawling. I spent the next couple hours envisioning myself playing dress up and dolls with my daughter [insert sigh of contentment here].

I’ve also had my daughter’s name picked out since I was in grade school. Lydia! I am named after my Aunt Lydia, but my parents used her nickname (Lily) instead of her given name. I’ve always loved my almost-name, and I determined at a young age to use it for my own offspring. And, because my mom’s middle name is Anne (and because I am a huge Anne of Green Gable fan), her middle name is Anne. So: Lydia Anne Darais. I can’t wait to meet her, especially since her current living situation is less than ideal–at least for me.

In the meantime, I continue to enjoy our calling as Sunbeams teachers. The little kids give us so much to look forward to! On Friday we hosted a Halloween party for the Sunbeams, and they were adorable.

Two of the boys are twins, and they charged into our apartment decked out as a knight and Darth Vader. The knight, Spencer, announced in a large voice that he was a very brave knight. Abe took him into a room where we had set up a “spider cave” and asked him if he thought he was brave enough to crawl through it. Spencer took one look at the cave and said in a somewhat smaller voice, “I’m not brave like that.”Abe and I have been laughing ever since.

The other sunbeam teachers, Betsy and Micah, came over and saved the day by providing spectacular food and really fun activities (including the apple faces that the kids are proudly holding up in their pictures). Betsy made a to-die-for steak chili and cut out little Halloween shapes out of cheese, and then she garnished it all with perfectly shaped, handmade ghost chips–eye holes and all. Their Fantastic Mr. and Mrs. Fox costumes were also handmade–can you believe Betsy made those tails and ears herself?

Abe and I were cookies and milk for Halloween. The picture is kind of dark, but it does a good job hiding my frizzy hair. (I hadn’t brushed it all day because I was so busy getting ready for the party.)

Speaking of party preparations, I could not have done it without my friend, Jennifer. She had originally agreed to come over to face paint for the kids, but then I ran into her around noon at CVS while I was doing some last minute party shopping. She offered to help me for the rest of the day, and for the next NINE hours she labored intensively, cleaning, decorating, creating handmade pumpkin awards for the kids, and generally ensuring I didn’t lose my mind during party prep. Thank you, Jennifer!

As I pulled into the DMV parking lot, I had a nagging feeling that something wasn’t right. I glanced over at the seat next to me to go over my documents once more. Marriage license, check. New social security card, check. Passport, birth certificate, temple marriage certificate, old driver’s license, and every other official document I thought might mitigate the unpredictable turns of Chicago bureaucracy–check, check, check, check, and check. What was missing?

Then it hit me. To get a new driver’s license, I need a new picture! I glanced in the rear view mirror and recoiled in horror. I had not washed my hair in days, and the yolk colored shirt I had worn to bed the night before did nothing for my pregnancy-impaired complexion. I had left the house in my pj pants (a habit I had not indulged in since college days) because earlier that week I had literally busted through my jeans.

I was aghast. Months before when I realized I would need a new driver’s license to match my new married name, I had eagerly anticipated the opportunity to do a picture re-take. I remember resolving to spare no pains in coiffing myself for the event; I had not prepared for my last picture at all and have had to live with the aesthetically offensive consequences ever since. This was supposed to be my day to shine!

And yet, and yet. I did not want to drive all the way home. After all, it had already taken me months to getting around to the chore. I also driven out of my way to go to my favorite DMV located in the heart of the South Side. It is a gem of a place filled with bureaucrats who speak in perpetually placating tones, free parking spaces, and great people watching opportunities. Because this DMV is located in a crime-ridden and highly segregated area, it also boasts a noticeable dearth of white people. It reminds me, in pleasant ways, of my short-lived teaching career in an equally segregated school not far from the facility.

With a sigh, I heaved myself out of the car and waddled into the DMV, all the while resigned to photographic doom. Soon, however, my frustrated feelings gave way to a sense of peace. There is something about being caught in the ineluctable grasp of government inefficiency (think four counters, two hours of waiting, and ten government officials later) that lulls you into a state of quiet quiescence. As much as you would like to speed up the process, you can’t. It’s you against the Department of Motor Vehicles, and, like it or not, you will sit where they tell you to sit until, hours later, some merciful bureaucrat decides to call your name. I wasn’t the only one who decided to take my wait quietly; in fact, a sense of quiet resignation pervaded the entire facility, which, inefficient though it was, ran relatively calmly.

My only hurried movements occurred while waiting at counter number three (cashier), when I remembered that I carried earrings in my purse just for emergencies such as this. I crammed the earrings in and patted my eyebrows into place with my fingers, and then proceeded to take a seat in yet another waiting room.

It was at that moment that I spotted her. She was tall, perfectly coiffed, and arrayed in shiny black boots and an outfit that showed off her killer figure; if we weren’t both waiting to have our pictures taken, I would have thought she was on her way to preform onstage as one of Beyonce’s back-up singers. When she sat down a couple rows away, I stared. “Man,” I thought to myself, “that is the way to go. She obviously remembered that this process involves a picture, and wow is she prepared!” I looked down wistfully at my shabby appearance and realized that even if I had taken the time, the end product wouldn’t be the same. After all, how do you hide the fact that you look like a hippopotamus?

Then I heard her talking to the woman next to her, and to my delight, she started explaining why she looked so stunning. “My last picture was terrible!” she exclaimed, settling into her seat and shaking her beautiful curls vigorously. “I was pregnant and puffy, and nobody even recognizes me in the picture! I came here just to have my photo redone–I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

I rejoiced. There was hope for me, after all! At one point, this gorgeous woman had also been–in her very own words, “pregnant and puffy,” and she too had suffered the consequences in her driver’s license picture.

I zipped up my red sweater, pulled my hair out of my face, and smiled hopefully into the camera. Someday, post-pregnant me will do this again.

I love fresh air and have been known to keep my windows open in the dead of Chicago winters. Naturally, it did not even occur to me to close the windows this early in the game–even though the night temperatures have been doing precarious dips into the 40’s and 30’s. I have also  scrupulously turned off as many of our radiators as I can so that this quirk doesn’t turn into our condo into an energy sink.

The other morning, Abe tentatively asked me when I intended to close the windows. I responded vaguely that I’d be open to discussion sometime around February. “What about November?” he asked pleadingly. “We’ll see,” I responded. Truthfully, my strategy was to keep saying “we’ll see” all winter long and then appear open to compromise when the nice Spring air wafts invitingly into our home. (I learned the “we’ll see” trick from my mom, who almost always substitutes “no” with that more diplomatic sounding phrase.)

Last night when Abe got home from his late night inspections, he was shivering. I assumed it was because he just stepped in from the cold, but as I was puttering in the kitchen, I turned around and saw that he had donned his ski hat!

After I did my share of laughing, my heart softened, and I closed our bedroom windows. The kitchen and living room are still open to the wonderfully brisk air, though, but I figure as long as I keep feeding Abe warm food, maybe he won’t notice.

 

After I closed the windows, I asked for help opening a jar of saurkraut that I purchased at Hyde Park Produce yesterday. I have not had much luck with their jars; the last time I bought some jarred Borscht (Abe’s favorite food–no joke), neither of us could open it and we relegated it to food storage. Same story with the saurkraut. “Man,” Abe exclaimed, as he put down the unopenable jar, “if we ever need our food storage, people will discover our bodies next to these two jars. They’ll think we’re dead AND incompetent!”

Abe sent me the same shot in an email before we were dating, and he titled it, “wish you were here.” That was a great clue!

Last night I found out the truth about my husband. It scared me.

It started out with a very pleasant dinner at the house of my mother-in-law, Karin. We were chatting easily about pets and Utah restaurants when the conversation turned to the subject of babies. I inquired about Karin’s experience with her pregnancies and children. “The pregnancies were fine,” she said, “but afterward it was really hard.” She went on to explain that two out of her three children were collicky (the chances of having a collicky baby are one in ten), and that Abe, her first child, never slept for more than twenty minutes at a time. At that point, my heart dropped.

“That first year I was insane,” she said. “He would cry and cry, and finally when he went to sleep I would start to relax, but then he would wake up twenty minutes later and start crying again. I thought I had given birth to a monster!” She was so busy trying to calm Abe down that she didn’t even notice she was pregnant with her second child until four months into her second pregnancy. She only noticed she was pregnant when a neighbor helpfully pointed out that she looked pregnant and insisted she take a test. When she went to the doctor’s, she discovered she’d already sailed through the first trimester and had less than six months to go before launch.

The good news is, her second baby, Jere, was a breeze. He obviously didn’t cause much trouble in utero, and, in the words of Abe’s youngest brother, David, Jere was “an angel” ex-utero as well. That settles it, I thought. If we have a boy, we’re going to find a way to fit “Jeremiah” into his name. I am not interested in spending a year sleeping a mere twenty minutes at a time, so hopefully our baby will disregard the fussy-baby genes he inherited from his father and opt to live up to his name instead.

When I accused Abe of being a bad baby later that night, he had nothing to say for himself. “Hey, I’ve been a stress case since the minute I left the womb,” he said. “I was probably freaked out at the lack of order in the universe and missed my warm amniotic sac. I’ve never done well with change, so I’m sure I was freaked out by earth life.” That’s true. Abe loves order and is slightly obsessed with creating systems to organize his world. Recently he took a practice GRE, and one of the passages he encountered was about how Greeks are pained by chaos and have a well-documented obsession with imposing systems of order on the universe. (That’s why they made so many mathematical discoveries.) Darais is a Greek name (Abe’s grandfather immigrated from Greece), and when Abe read that essay, he felt like he had engaged in an enlightened form of self-discovery.

But I am scared. Up until last night, I had been praying that our children would turn out just like Abe, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe I need to get more specific with God: I would like to place an order for an easy baby who sleeps for hours at a time. Any musical, artistic, or theatrical inclinations would also be a plus. Please discuss these matters soon with my future baby. Thank-you so much for your time and attention to this matter. Sincerely, one of your many freaked-out moms to be.

I know two posts in one day is kind of excessive, but I am so exhausted right now that doing anything which requires verticality is simply out of the question. This is the craziest week I have had in a long time! First, I went to Springfield and back in about 26 hours. When I got home, I discovered a wedding picture surrounded by sticky notes with Abe’s favorite memories of our time together on the coffee table (I love my husband!):

My grandma is moving, and I came back from Springfield laden with many of her unwanted items. My favorite is one of the very first pieces of baby furniture I have acquired thus far: a time out chair. (My poor baby. I haven’t even bought so much as a diaper, but instead am welcoming him/her into a world rife with opportunities to earn time outs.) The chair is  black and looks rather Puritanical in cut. I might, with time, mellow out and paint the chair a less scary color. Or who knows? If my kids get really bad, I might go the other way and ask an artistic friend to paint some flames licking the legs of the chair.

In any case, I should probably buy some diapers too.

Speaking of scary stuff, I also acquired some new witches for my witch collection. I started collecting witches in Rome’s Piazza Navona at Christmastime. In Italy, the Christmas witch is known as “La Befana,” “La Vecchia,” or “La Strega,” and she gives gifts to children on Epiphany Eve. Here are some of my witches:

Aren’t they fun?

Today and tomorrow I will be cleaning and cooking like a madwoman to prepare for the arrival of my dear friend, Kristin, and her lovely family. I am also dog-sitting, so I woke at 3:30am to walk the dog in order to be on time to support my mom at a going-away breakfast some of her friends had for her. Tomorrow after I teach piano, my mom gets officially set apart as a missionary, and then on Thursday, after picking Kristin up from the airport and giving her a speedy tour of our neighborhood and home, I will depart for Utah with my mom and brother to drop my mom off at the MTC (Missionary Training Center). So much excitement for one little week! But the most exciting thing is that I think I just heard Abe’s car–and that means I now have someone home to help me clean. Yay!

(Abe and I stand by one of the scarecrows in the Arboretum.)

Abe has been meaning to get to the Morton Arboretum for a looooooong time, and we finally went this weekend. The weather was beautiful, and apparently, we weren’t the only ones with the idea. The car lines to enter the Arboretum reminded me of a traffic jam on the 405 in L.A., but once we got through them, we had a great time. Abe got a little excited by all the trees, as you can see here.

My back prevented me from expressing enthusiasm in a similar fashion, so I chose to enjoy the arboretum by planting myself solidly against a sturdy tree trunk.

After a while, I decided to sprawl on the ground. The view was great! All blue skies and colorful leaves.

When we got tired of reclining in the shadows of various trees, we grabbed a quick bite to eat and then headed into Abe’s office so he could get some work done. I occupied myself by making Halloween invitations for the four-year old “sunbeams”we teach in church.

We are so excited for the party! I can’t wait to post pictures of all the cute kids in their costumes. The party is October 29, so check back in if you want some cute overload in your life.