Lily had her 40th birthday today. We had lunch with her mom, and then she did a lot of work with the kids. I’ve been thinking a lot about Lily today, and in honor of her 40th birthday, I would like to share 40 things things about her that I particularly love.
- Lily loves Wingspan. Playing with her is always a highlight in my day.
- Lily cherishes being in community. She is repelled by extremist thinking that causes dialogue and harmonious living to break down.
- Lily is well-read. Lily is one of the most well-read people I have ever met. Because I am her husband, I get to experience life as though I’m well read, but I just listen to her share about what she has read.
- Lily is a great friend. She loves her friends deeply. She is generous with them and always shows her appreciation for the way they bless her.
- Lily is an amazing romantic partner. I will not elaborate.
- Lily is a teacher. Lily is committed to raising our children with skills, critical thinking ability, and knowledge, and it she is constantly teaching them music, literature, wisdom, and life skills.
- Lily is fantastic cook. I. Love. Everything. Lily. Cooks. Period.
- Lily listens to me. When I’m going through a hard time, she will let me talk and vent, and the way she affirms me gives me strength and healing.
- Lily is visionary. Whether it is the family dog, maturing our spirituality, finding a perfect home for our family, or designing experiences we will never forget, or helping me navigate career decisions, Lily always seems to see beyond, and I value her wisdom immensely.
- Lily is deeply good. Lily talks to me regularly about her deepest desires and they always revolve around how she wants to love the people in her life. Her deepest desires are pure gold, and those desires constantly manifest in her day to day life.
- Lily forgives. I can be stubborn, negative and even accusatory when I’m stressed or frustrated. Lily always forgives me when my behavior is bad, and for that I am eternally grateful.
- Lily is fun. Lily always claims she is not fun, but I have fun with her every day. Whether we are laughing about the latest celebrity gossip together, setting up for a party she planned, playing games with the kids, or traveling together while listening to fun audio books she curated, Lily creates fun for this family.
- Lily is beautiful. Lily has a natural beauty that makes chemistry easy to this day.
- Lily loves adventure. Because of Lily, our family has seen Greece, France, and so many more places. Our most meaningful family memories are because of the explorations she has planned for the family.
- Lily is brave. When Lily feels something is right, she does it, even if it is very uncomfortable for her.
- Lily cares about what is inside. Lily regularly talks with me about the importance of authenticity and how appearances can be deceiving, and I can say that Lily is the most authentic, vulnerable and real person I have ever met.
- Lily has grit. I have witnessed Lily face many challenges and obstacles in multiple dimensions of her life, and keep pressing on.
- Lily has a BIG heart. Her dreams for humanity, for her family, for her community are centered on peace and love. She is quick to help a friend or neighbor in need. Just the other day she made sure I went to check on a neighbor who appeared to be moving furniture while limping.
- Lily is wise. When I have a tough problem in my life I’m not sure how to solve, I can turn to Lily for advice.
- Lily puts people first. Whereas I often get absorbed in tasks, and my work, Lily makes sure the people in her life knows she loves them. She gives gifts, and is lavish with praise and affirmation. She listens incredibly well and just has really good skills with people.
- Lily is humble. When Lily is wrong, she is the first to admit it. When she makes a mistake, she acknowledges it quickly. It is profound how she models to our children the ability to apologize and seek what is right, not being perceived as right. That is one of my favorite things about her.
- Lily is flexible. I often get caught up in my routines, or rigid thinking. Lily has the ability to prioritize and pivot in real time in a way that I do not.
- Lily is compassionate. When I have a hard day, or if one of the kids is having a hard day, Lily’s hugs, affirmation and compassion have healing powers.
- Lily works hard. Our organized trips, the children’s music development, our gorgeous and clean house, the laundry, the cooking, her non-profit work. Lily shows up with effort every day, pushing the rock in ways that benefit our family and allow us to flourish.
- Lily is musical. I love it when Lily plays the piano, but even more importantly, she has bestowed musicality on all of our children, and that musicality lights up our home.
- Lily is intentional as a mother. Whereas I’m often thinking about myself, like what I want to be doing in the future, Lily is busy thinking about how to best set up our children for success in the future, and filling their lives with the activities that she thinks will bless them.
- Lily is selfless. Being an at-home mom is really hard work, filled with constant sacrifice on top of the other people in her life she blesses and touches regularly. Lily does a much better job than me of putting others first and it’s something I learn from her.
- Lily is an incredible writer. Lily is published basically every time she writes seriously. When I read her writing, I’m blown away by its precision in expression, as well as its explosive creativity.
- Lily is intelligent. On a similar note, Lily is so fun to have conversations with. I feel I get smarter just by talking with her. She is articulate and clear in reasoning, and it’s so intellectually stimulating to be her partner.
- Lily is an amazing companion. I don’t know how else to articulate this, but just having all my comings and goings with Lily is such a gift. Cuddling at night, walking the dog together, working out together, talking together, playing wingspan together. Even when we were dating, I just felt so nice when I was around her, and it continues to be the case. I always only want more time with her.
- Lily is cultured. Lily has been to many place, and has read many books. She’s therefore very open-minded and aware of how the world works in different ways. My mind has expanded just being married to her.
- Lily is deep. Another one of my very favorite attributes about Lily is the depth of her soul. She is not shallow or artificial, but a deep thinker who plunges her mind and heart into the the meaty matters of life, death, purpose, love, community and more. By being her companion, I live a more meaningful and thoughtful life because of the deep thought and heart work that she is constantly pursuing.
- Lily loves to host. Lily loves hosting people and she does it so well. Not only is the food always divine, but she has such a hospitable spirit that helps people in our home feel loved and validated.
- Lily is active. I love that Lily is always wanting to do things like play Pickleball, bike, hike, walk the dog together, play tennis, travel, or do other fun things as a couple or family. It’s so fun to have a companion who always wants to do fun things together!
- Lily loves nature. Lily and I share a deep love of nature and we love to experience it together. She has introduced me to incredible authors who write about nature like Michael Pollan and Terry Tempest Williams, and we’ve experienced tons of national parks together with the family and we’ve enjoyed being National Parks donors together.
- Lily is supportive. When I wanted to stay in the LDS church with the kids after Lily left, she supported me in that pursuit. When I then wanted to be active in the Community of Christ, she not only supported me, but helped to host many church sessions in our home. She continues to support me attending as much as I want and always encourages my hobbies like biking, fishing etc.
- Lily is loving. So many times Lily’s genuine love for me comes through. Whether it’s forgiving me in failures, giving me the cushion I need to get work done by taking care of the kids to take pressure off me, affirming me when I’m stressed, or just encouraging me to go on a bike ride, I often feel her support to do the things I need to do to feel happy and healthy.
- Lily is healthy. Lily loves nutritious food, exercise, and healthy habits, and she is always encouraging our kids to make healthy choices.
- Lily has great taste in music. Vienna Tang, Rhiannon Giddens, Kate Rusby and so many more were all introduced to me by Lily. She also blew my mind this year by introducing me to Carmina Burana, and Rhapsody in Blue.
- Lily is cares deeply about social issues. Lily is highly educated about the issues of our time, and cares deeply about climate change, equity and inclusion, peace, abolishing poverty, philanthropy and making the world better for everyone.
Lily, thank you for being in my life. Each day is a perfect treasure. Every day you teach me, delight me, forgive me, and love me, and you are the sunshine to my world. I hope this year is your best year yet!