Lately, I have felt overwhelmed and today was a very busy day. In the morning, I was exhausted, and Lily got up to take care of the dog and the kids for the first hour or two of the day. I felt so so so grateful for that time and I know it was a sacrifice for her as she is equally beat by the weekend. Once I got rolling for the day, Lily left to Basil’s socialization class and then ran some errands while I stayed home with the kids and mostly cleaned.
When Lily got home, we had lunch, and then I took Mary to the church parking lot to practice riding her bike. On Thursday, I ordered palm, knee and elbow pads for her, and I was so grateful Amazon got them to me in time. I wanted Mary to have everything she needed to succeed. She was such a good sport. It was a little chilly, but she really put her heart into learning. At one point her gloves got soaked from ground which was wet from the morning rain, and then she did the rest without gloves. She kept trying and trying until at the end, her fingers were quite cold.
She really started to make great practice when I started giving her the right instructions! I should have watched a quick You-Tube video or read something, but I didn’t. I kept telling her that when she starts falling, to turn in the opposite direction to correct herself. When she was struggling, I finally hopped on her bike and learned that you need to turn in the direction you are falling to keep your balance. Once I corrected my advice, she really started to have some success. By the end of our time together, she could stay on her bike for about 10 seconds and mostly ride in a circle, but she couldn’t go in a straight line yet. Still, she was learning to balance on her own, and it was by far the best she’s ever done, and I was thrilled. It was huge progress!!! Then Mary and I picked up some books for the library and went home.
At home, I prepared the title and bill of sale documents to sell the Corolla to Diana, one of Georgia’s friends. When they came over, I finished up the paperwork with her and her friend, told them about the car, removed the license plate (the other one was stuck on and they said they would bring it back), and I was wrapping up when Ammon frantically opened the garage door and said, “Dad, hurry quick, it’s an emergency!!!” I said, “What’s going on?” Amman said, “Mom is throwing away all of our toys!!!!”
I went inside to find a war zone. It started when Lily went to clean the upstairs and was absolutely distraught at how messy it was. She cleans the house over and over and over again to the point of exhaustion and complete demoralization and begs and begs and begs the kids to clean (especially the older ones who can be expected to) and recently, she has been threatening to throw away toys if the girls’ room isn’t picked up by 7:30 PM.
Tonight, when she saw the mess, she got very frustrated, grabbed a bag, and started throwing many many things on the floor in the bag. When the girls saw that, they vehemently protested, and a very difficult battle ensued. It was shortly after that moment that I entered the home. Unfortunately, I was kindof like a deer in the headlights, being completely emotionally unprepared for what I had just walked into. I didn’t really know what to think, and I wish I would have been more supportive to Lily in the moment. I was just kind of there, trying to be comforting to all parties where I could.
Ammon was racing around the house trying to save a toy from a bag here and there and also energetically cleaning his own room (until it was spotless). He was earnestly suggesting to the older girls that the solution to their problem was to lock their bedroom door. Something to the effect of, “I’ve got it, lock your door!” Lily said, he was so cute through all of it that it was the one bit of humor she found in the whole experience.
I grabbed a bag, and helped the girls finish cleaning the upstairs, listening to them recount their pains to me until the end. In the end, we we told them we’d give back the stuffed animals if their room is perfectly clean for a month straight, or three weeks straight including the computer area. That seems like a nice meeting in the middle of consequences, and some compassion.
It was incredibly reassuring to Lily and also very instructive to me to hear David and Olivia talk the next day (at Suzanne’s party) about a podcast they heard about parenting best practices for helping kids learn to pick up their toys. The parenting expert recommended making real consequences, such as throwing away toys, when kids do not clean. That affirmed that Lily really made the right call by making a real consequences as it has been such a struggle to get the girls to pick up.
The evening was quite intense, but on a lighter note, Ammon is getting incredibly good at coloring and here is a picture he drew.
