Category: Uncategorized

So…I haven’t been posting a lot lately. There are both obvious and less obvious reasons for this state of affairs.

Obvious:  Babies take time and energy! Lydia has been a little more wakeful recently, and so I spend more time cuddling and playing with her. She is smiling now, although her smiles are fleeting and usually give way to expressions of bewilderment and concern. I suspect she is bewildered by all of the excited sounds her smiles elicit from Mommy, and she probably becomes concerned at how mentally unbalanced Mommy seems when she is making crazy faces trying to get Lydia to keep smiling.

Less obvious: 1) I am terrified that when I do blog, I will whine. Whining subject of choice: post labor recovery. No one warned me about this process, and I could easily write pages upon whiny pages about how yucky this stage is–especially since I have the good fortune of experiencing medical complications in this process! Yay for me. BUT…I spent nine months writing whiny pregnancy blogs, so I think I’ve forfeited my rights to keep complaining.

2) I am scared I will effuse too much over my adorable baby. She is SO cute, and I could write a book that would probably bore everyone else to tears about all the cute things she does. For example, I would love to write about her sweet little noises (my favorite are her exasperated sighs) and her floppy moods where she collapses onto me and becomes this little butterball of cuddly love. And how she looks so imperious during bath time…she is sooooooooo adorable!!

Because of the obvious reason listed in the beginning of this post, I am tired. Lydia fell asleep almost two hours ago, and I have spent the time pumping, going through post-labor care routines, cleaning, and now blogging. Off to bed I go! Ah, the joy of knowing I have at least three hours of solid sleep ahead of me…

AshleyMay 7, 2011 at 8:08 PM

Well. In my humble opinion, I don’t think any of those things are problems. I think I’ve explained my testimony of complaining–you’ll either be reassured that your complaints are normal or someone will point out that it’s not so normal and help you figure out that there’s a problem. There’s no need to suffer in silence!

And goodness, I’m sure I’m only one of manymany MINIONS of people just DYING to see and hear more of Lydia!! You couldn’t possibly go on about her too much, it’s just not going to happen!

But, I also understand your point of view…not wanting to seem whiny (and thus ungrateful) or boring. It’s YOU and we love YOU, not a pretend version of “You”.

I vote for going for it.Reply

Janelle BargarMay 16, 2011 at 9:07 AM

I second that! More Lydia!!!!Reply

A couple weeks ago, my Food Network Magazine had a wonderful insert: 50 recipes for different tea sandwiches! http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes-and-cooking/50-tea-sandwiches/index.html How fun! I wanted to try/eat them all, and so I needed an excuse for a tea party. Enter this month’s AMAZING issue of Martha Stewart Living. Inside was a beautiful craft for a Mother’s Day card. (See here: http://www.marthastewart.com/how-to/pop-up-card-for-mothers-day?comments_page=1)

So I thought, why not have a small tea party with some of my high school friends and make Mother’s Day cards?  Also, Abe and I have been discussing family traditions, and we thought it would be fun to do a yearly tea party with Lydia. As the party approached, Abe was almost as excited as I was for Lydia’s first tea party.

Side note: we had her first tea party on the day of the royal wedding. It was a coincidence, but a very happy one at that. =)

Since this was my first time hosting a tea party, I learned many things.

1) Tea sandwiches take a while to make! I was totally duped by the pamphlet. Each recipe is approximately 2.5 sentences long and leaves the reader with the impression that assembling tea sandwiches is a snap. I beg to differ. By the time the tea party started, I was sweating it up in the kitchen with nary a sandwich in sight. I was caught between boiling eggs, blanching asparagus, mashing up lemon parsley butter, cutting grape tomatoes, and throwing watercress everywhere. The scene was a disaster, and if Abe hadn’t come to the rescue, we would never have eaten. As it was, we ended up starting almost an hour late–at which point we realized we had totally forgotten the tea part of our tea party. So at our tea party, everyone just drank water until we had some water heated up for tea. Note for future parties: start working on the sandwiches more than half an hour before the party starts!

2) Narrow down the sandwich selection. I wanted to try all of the sandwiches, and so my final list consisted of the following: Cucumber, Watercress, Tomato Cheddar, Curried Egg Salad, Smoked Salmon and Cucumber, Asparagus and Egg, Ricotta and Marmalade, Cream Cheese and Strawberries, and Nutella with Raspberry Jam. In the end, I had to cut down that list a lot or we never would have eaten. Seriously, it was just too crazy trying to make all of those in half an hour. Next year we’ll streamline.

3) Not to be sacrilegious, but Martha Stewart tends to skip steps in some of her recipes and crafts. I’m sure this is just because she is so busy and talented–she just figures everyone can read between the lines and figure out how to make a pop up origami bouquet of flowers on their own, but some of us can’t. For future parties, I am going to give the crafts a test drive first. Or at least pick a simpler craft.

4) The leftovers are perfect for a picnic! The next day, (conveniently May Day), Abe and I took Lydia for a picnic by the lake. The weather turned cold and windy just in time for our arrival, so as we were entering the lakefront, crowds of people were leaving. That meant we got our favorite picnic table right by the Wilmette beach, conveniently vacated in time for our arrival. Abe dressed Lydia up like a little hippie for our picnic, and she seemed to enjoy herself (or at least slept so soundly through the whole picnic that we had no reason to believe she wasn’t enjoying herself).

5) I need to take more pictures. Abe took some of the tea party, but I am too lazy to get up and post them on the blog right now. Lydia is asleep next to me, and I just know as soon as I make a move, she will wake up. So I will post more pictures later. Until then, Lydia’s first tea party and May Day picnic will be commemorated by this picture-less post.

2 comments:

1. LilyMay 3, 2011 at 1:59 PMThis is Abe signed in as Lily. By far the best sandwich was the fresh strawberry and cream cheese on date nut bread. It was amazing! It was also fun to try interesting combinations with leftovers. Salmon egg salad sandwich tasted slightly better than expected 🙂Reply
2. PreethiMay 5, 2011 at 6:27 AMCute cute cute! Love this idea. 🙂Reply

I am a little behind in blogging. Last week (I think it was last week! It’s so hard to keep track of time when you are nursing every couple hours…) our dear friends Dan and Preethi Harbuck visited for a couple of days. It was so fun, and one of the most exciting parts of their visit involved observing the budding romance between Lydia and their super cute, fun, and smiley (did you hear that, Lydia?? Smiley!!) son, Nat. We saved the amorous pair some trouble and took their engagement pictures a couple years ahead of time. I have about a hundred different pictures of these two together, but here are just a few:

Lydia did her longest tummy time session ever when she was on the blanket with Nat! He helped make tummy time fun. =)

Snoozing with her future in-laws. =) Thanks, Dan and Preethi, for a wonderful visit! We love you!!

1 comment:

1. PreethiApril 21, 2011 at 11:08 AMOh how I love these!! Especially the third one down: “Sweet Lydia, THIS is how you stick your toes in your mouth.” I also love the third from the bottom. 🙂Reply

I am DYING for Lydia to smile. According to the infant development books, she should have been doing this about a week ago, and when she didn’t I started to worry that Lydia wasn’t happy enough to smile. Her constant frowns make me really nervous. I mean, they are very cute and all, but I get the feeling that Lydia isn’t quite enthralled with earth life yet. And I want her to be!

Therefore, I do regular smiling exercises with Lydia. We have replaced play time (whatever that was) for smile time. I hold her up and grin hard while explaining that this is what people do when they’re happy. “I’m happy, Lydia! Are you happy? Can you show mommy you’re happy by SMILING?? Pleeeeaaase???”

I’ve also tried various other techniques that other moms on the internet have said worked for them. Lydia has had to endure being poked in various places while I try to remember the rhymes in “patty-cake.” She’s had to listen to me sing. One mom swore that saying, “Yahoo, sushi!” works like a charm, and so this morning I held Lydia in place while repeating that phrase at various volumes–to no effect. In fact, all I got was a confused, rather irritated frown. I then panicked that she inherited some rare genetic disorder that prohibits her from smiling. Well, if that’s the case, she didn’t get it from me.

Poor Abe. I’ve repeatedly insinuated that his genes are responsible for Lydia’s inability to smile. (Please ignore his grin at the top of this page. I am SURE that I am genetically innocent here, and so that leaves only one possible culprit!) He has started to pray that Lydia will smile, and I get the feeling he has a vested interest in these prayers.

Please excuse me for cutting this blog short. I just remembered that one mom said mirror time did the trick for her baby, so Lydia and I are off to stare in the mirror together. Wish us luck!

2 comments:

1. PreethiApril 15, 2011 at 2:53 PMI was seriously laughing so hard at this post. Especially the genetically innocent part. 🙂 She’ll be giggling before you know it!Reply
2. AnnaApril 19, 2011 at 10:25 AMHa! I remember going through this same thing! I would seriously make a clown out of myself trying to get Lucy to smile. When I finally took her to work one day to visit Daddy…she totally smiled at him. Oh man. I was happy she was smiling but so disappointed it wasn’t at me.Reply

“Does it mean she’s full if it’s coming out of her nose?” I asked concernedly, as milk started slowly pouring out of Lydia’s nose.

Abe carefully assessed the situation. Yes, it appeared there was milk gushing out of Lydia’s nose, but she still seemed…hungry. She was rooting. He shrugged. “I think she’s still hungry,” he said, and suggested I keep feeding her. So I did. Even though there was milk pouring out of my baby’s nose, I kept feeding her because it seemed like the right thing to do. Am I going crazy??

There are so many parts to motherhood that mystify me. Am I feeding my baby too much? Too little? Am I talking to her enough? Too much? Is she sufficiently visually stimulated? Is she happy?? (How can you tell if she hasn’t figured out how to smile?) Is she bored?

These questions drive me to do ridiculous things. Yesterday after a feeding session, I found myself tucking a striped blanket over my bra so Lydia could enjoy the visual stimulation of stripes from the supposedly ideal 8-15 inch distance. I’ve bounced her to all three movements of a symphony in the hopes that our activity staved off baby boredom. And I’ve nursed her (several times) while there was milk oozing from her nose. Still, I battle the constant fear that I’m not measuring up in the mom department, and that my baby is the victim of all of my maternal mistakes.

For example, yesterday I was reading up on baby constipation and baby acne. I thought Lydia might be suffering from the former–and she is definitely struggling with the latter. In my reading (which took me off of my intended topics), I discovered that babies a generation ago used to develop faster than babies today. Why? Because they slept on their tummies! Tummy time = muscle-development time. Today’s babies sleep on their backs to avoid SIDS, but that slows down their time line of muscle development. The article went on to say that “sleep time is back time, and play time is tummy time.”

I panicked.

I have totally neglected to put Lydia on her stomach during “play time.” Most play time I just bounce her on my lap, stick her in a bouncy seat, or swaddle her and hope she falls asleep. I totally forgot about tummy time. So right after reading the article, I put Lydia on her stomach and tried to visualize her little muscles developing.

She freaked out. Soon she was sobbing on her stomach, deaf to my pleas that she just try it out a little longer. To heck with my muscles! she seemed to scream. I hate this! Put me back on my back where the world makes sense!! What could I do? I picked her up and helped restore order to her universe, while the order in mine seemed to unravel. I was sure my neglect of tummy time would translate into permanent developmental delays for my baby.

But babies learn fast. We tried tummy time again today, and right now Lydia is peacefully enjoying a (closely supervised) nap on her stomach. Sleeping right next to me, Lydia appears to be enjoying the pose a lot more than yesterday. She has even let go a series of satisfying sounding toots, and I suspect the slanted, stomach down position lends itself well to gastro-intestinal happiness.

So I guess making mistakes is part of motherhood, but thankfully, it appears that Lydia is surviving mine. Time to turn her over to ensure it stays that way!

3 comments:

1. It Started With a WinkApril 3, 2011 at 8:27 PMThe way I see it is of course I’m going to do everything under the sun for my child to the best of my knowledge and ability and I’m going to mess up and even if I didn’t some new finding would come out that said that I did. TJ’s mom used to feed her oldest skim milk when he was a toddler and breast feed while driving or keep him in a basket in the back seat. He is one of the best people I know and graduated top of his dental school class plus he played basketball for the U. Anyway I know most people who turn out pretty amazing didn’t have moms half as awesome as you!Reply
2. Shandi and AlexApril 7, 2011 at 8:41 AMI’m so glad I’m not alone feeling this way. I keep feeling like any time Sebastian is awake I NEED to interact with him or he’s not going to develop to his full potential. But realistically, I CAN’T interact with him every waking moment because there are things I need to get done. Then I beat myself up over it.Reply
3. AnonymousApril 13, 2011 at 5:46 PMXitlali has no desire for tummy time, even at four months. She’d happily sleep on belly if allowed, but belly for play is no way! We’ve been working on trying to get her up to 10 minutes. However, it ticks her off so much she’s learning to roll over just so she can escape tummy time.Reply

A welcome to motherhood is really a welcome to the moist and soggy world of breastfeeding. Feeding my baby is so much harder than I ever imagined! Two days ago, my lack of skill in the breastfeeding department became sadly apparent when, at the end of one session, I realized everything–everything–was soaked in milk. There was milk in my hair, milk in Lydia’s hair, milk all over my bra, milk on two separate wash cloths, milk slathered on both of our bodies, milk on the chair, and (the final indignity) one last milk stream squirted directly up Lydia’s nose. Clearly, I need to work on aim.

Things are getting better, though. Sarah (who took Lydia’s pictures) lent me her “My Breast Friend,” and this handy device has revolutionized our breastfeeding sessions. My Breast Friend is a nursing pillow that you strap onto your waist. I had tried regular pillows and a Boppy (another kind of nursing pillow), but nothing works nearly as well as My Breast Friend. The only downside to this marvelous device is the visual effect; waddling around the house with a giant pillow strapped around my waist, bare chested and still large with pregnancy fat, I look kind of like a hippo in a tutu. My mom, Abe, and I now routinely refer to My Breast Friend as “the tutu.” It’s just so apt.

The sad part is that I am beyond the point of caring. Lydia needs to be fed every 2-3 hours (I have been pushing it to every 3-4 for the sake of my sanity and sleep), and so when the time comes around for me to shove a nipple in her mouth, I could care less about how I look in the process. My mind zones in with autistic like concentration on how fast or slow (usually slooooooooooow) Lydia is sucking and how long the session will last. Sometimes, for a break in the monotony, I will monitor the tree outside my window for buds and birds. So far, no buds–but there are more and more birds every day. Spring is coming!

And, thankfully, all of this feeding means Lydia is growing! She lost more than 10% of her birth weight before my milk came in, and when I took her to the pediatrician for her first check-up, the pediatrician told me Lydia was dehydrated. I felt terrible. Even worse, the pediatrician told me I would need to supplement with formula to get Lydia back up to speed. I went home feeling like a truly bad mother; I couldn’t believe my baby hadn’t been getting enough to eat!

Upon returning home, the first thing I did was rip off my shirt and start feeding Lydia. I stared morosely at the bottle of formula next to the bed but couldn’t bring myself to use it at first. I just looked at it and felt bad about myself and the whole situation. It took an actual spiritual prompting before I finally reached over and fed Lydia the formula–and then, magically, she calmed down and proceeded to sleep for FOUR hours. That was the first time she’d ever done that. I was a convert. This stuff was great!

Except. Except. I want to breast feed. I really do, and I want Lydia to get the benefits of breast milk. It is just SO exhausting. Last night I was up until 1am completing a feeding that started at 11:30pm, and then I got up at 3am to start a feeding that didn’t end until almost 4:30am. As I type this, I’m eying the clock and noticing that I have less than 2 hours until Lydia’s next feeding. I can finish this blog, write some of the 25 thank-you cards that still need to be written, shower, eat breakfast, change the laundry, clean the kitchen, OR go back to bed. I think, thanks to my overworked breasts, the bed just might win this one.

Right now I am typing one handed. Lydia is nestled on my shoulder, and a giant pile of her spit-up is resting smack dab in the middle of my bra. She has pretty precise aim; we are so proud of her!

Some memorable moments so far:

Abe somehow went days without changing a poopy diaper. When he confronted his first one, he exclaimed in genuine alarm that we must be over-feeding Lydia. He didn’t believe that much poop could possibly be healthy or normal. I think he has since adjusted his expectations; when he changed another poopy diaper this morning, the only exclamations to escape his mouth were effusions over how perfect the color of her poop was.

Two days ago, Lydia managed to pee onto her head. Her hair got soaked. Don’t ask. A sponge bath followed promptly.

Lydia must have the best dreams ever. Half the time she feeds in her sleep. It’s amazing how much milk she can extract while she is sound asleep.

So far that’s it. She sleeps a LOT, so most of the time we are dealing with a little baby zombie. Abe told her that she’d soon learn that life is better when you’re asleep, and I think she took his advice to heart. I will never understand how my husband and daughter can so consistently choose sleep over food, but I’m learning to accept that my lot in life will be to remind all of my loved ones to stop zoning out and finish their food. C’est la vie.

At your newborn photo shoot, Sarah Severson (www.sarahseversonphotography.com )did such a great job taking pictures of you, and we are so excited to see how they turned out. She had you in such cute poses that Daddy and Grandpa got in on the act, too. You had your very own Paparazzi.

Happy one week anniversary, Lydia! We are in love with you, and so we’ve probably taken too many pictures and videos of you. But you are such a miracle in our lives! And even though your mommy complained and complained about how much she wanted you earlier, you timed your arrival just right.

Day 2 with Daddy

This is one of your favorite poses, and you do this almost every time we try to feed you.

And the day before that you got a LOT of presents from your Nana (Mommy’s mom), Grams, and Grandpa.

You made them all so happy, and everyone loves holding you!

Day one in the hospital with Grams and Grandpa

With Nana (The nurses gave you a faux-hawk!)

With Uncle Clark

With Daddy

Nana laughing after you peed all over her

Yesterday, Daddy also gave you a tour of your new home. Mommy recorded it on video, but the sound isn’t so great at the beginning of the video. Mainly you hear Mommy doing a lot of Darth Vader breathing (ever since labor, blowing her nose kind of hurts some rather sore muscles…and so her breathing is all skeewompus).

Here’s the tour Daddy gave you:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ywtzx_JUKI

Also, here is a birth video!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ol9qBv29z

We love you, Lydia!

Hello fellow bloggers and blog readers! Thank you so much for rejoicing with us at this special time in our lives. We are SO happy to have Lydia here, and it’s so fun to share our joy with you! Lydia’s arrival was a special event, and so I am excited to record how everything happened.

On Monday I went walking for hours with my in-laws, and I finished up by eating a spicy burrito doused–nay, drenched–in tabasco sauce, all in the hopes that these efforts would yield some real labor pains. To my dismay, at the end of the day, I felt great. Not a pang in sight. Sorely disappointed, I retired to bed at 1am.

One hour later, I woke up with some of the worst pain I have ever experienced. It was too good to be true! In between contractions, I felt so great that I doubted whether I was experiencing the real deal, but an hour later we went to the hospital. Abe kept assuring me I was in labor, but I didn’t believe him until the doctor at the hospital told me that after a mere hour of contracting at home I was already 5 cm dilated! How very exciting.

By that time, the pain was so bad that I was begging for an epidural and vomiting everywhere. Abe’s favorite part to tell occurred right after I threw up all over the place. He brought us two cans of ginger ale and was just about to open his when I insisted that was wasteful and that he share mine. It didn’t occur to me at the time how gross my request was, but he dutifully complied. What a husband!

Abe had to leave the room for the hour that it took for them to put the IV and epidural in. (He faints at the sight of needles.) It took exceptionally long because I kept moving around when I was supposed to be sitting still, and at one point, I doubted they would get the epidural inserted in time. The nurse had the same concern; she called in a bunch of people right before they finally got the epidural in because she thought I was about to start pushing.

Finally, they got the epidural in. After that point, labor turned from agonizing to AWESOME. Really–after I stopped feeling pain, I was overcome with excitement. We had such a great team of nurses, and the room was charged with anticipation and joy. I could not wait to meet Lydia, and I couldn’t keep myself from grinning nonstop. At one point, one of the nurses told me to stop smiling while I was pushing because I needed to focus all of my muscle energy on the pushes–but I couldn’t stop! It was too wonderful to know I was about to meet my daughter.

Plus, I was pretty much in love with everyone in the room. The nurse who helped me through the epidural process stayed 2 hours after her shift ended so that she could help me through pushes and meet Lydia. One of the other nurses just happened to be my old Sunday School teacher from my days at the First Presbyterian Church of Evanston–and she regaled me with tales about my dad and brother between pushes. The other med students in the room were so enthusiastic, our doctor was amazing, and, of course, Abe was the best support team/cheerleader ever. I felt so happy to bring Lydia into the world surrounded by such a wonderful collection of lovely people!

And I could still move around and feel the pressure of contractions, so pushing was a great experience. At one point, the doctor gave me a pep talk and told me I could have Lydia out in five minutes or two hours–depending on how hard I pushed. Two contractions and five minutes later, she was out!

She is beautiful. Her head was so full of hair that the doctor and nurses joked that they would start braiding between pushes. She looks like a little surfer baby because her dark brown hair has light brown highlights at the tips. So cute! And we can’t tell what color her eyes are; they look grey/blue, but I think they will change. She was 7 lbs 9 oz, and 20 1/4 inches long. Yay for not birthing a 10 pound baby!! She is just adorable, and even though she is every bit as vocal as Abe and I expected (having both been quite vocal ourselves when we were her age), we are in love with her.

Here is a picture of Abe calming Lydia:

And when Lydia first came out:

We have more pictures, but at the moment I can’t access them. (I have been up all night with Lydia, and I finally figured out that the bassinet isn’t working. The only thing to do is keep her with me if I hope to have her sleep. So she’s sleeping in front of me while I type away; I am scared to fall asleep with her in the bed until I learn more about co-sleeping from the doctor.)

She is having her newborn pics taken this weekend, so hopefully next week we’ll have a deluge of Lydia shots!

On Saturday night I had a bunch of contractions, and Abe and I thought Lydia was coming soon. So I suggested we write Lydia a letter before she gets here, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say other than that I love her and want her to come soon. I didn’t need to worry. Abe had no problem writing a letter to Lydia; pretty much the only thing I did was change the way he signed it. (He signed it, ” Love, Abe and Lily.” I had to remind him that Lydia probably won’t be referring to us by our first names!)

Before I paste the letter, here’s a quick update on steps we’ve taken to encourage Lydia to come soon. I’ve continued to douse my food with red pepper flakes in the hopes that spices will get things going. We also went for a walk with Abe’s parents yesterday at the Baha’i temple. My mom went into labor with both my brother and me on the steps of the Baha’i, and I was really hoping Lydia would follow in that tradition. Sadly, she didn’t come–but we still had a wonderful afternoon. We are also hopeful because the doctor said it’s likely she’ll come in 24 hours. He said that yesterday morning after the plug came out (sorry for the TMI!!) and my (false) contractions were coming at regular intervals. We are hoping!!!

Also, one more quick shout-out to my little brother. Yesterday he spent hours laboring over a Mark Bittman recipe I gave him, and the result was soooooo tasty. Not only was it great food, but I felt so loved because of all the effort and time he put into cooking for us! I have the world’s best family. Abe and I felt so happy last night as we said our prayers and thanked God for being part of such a beautiful network of people. His dad and stepmom arrived yesterday, and we enjoyed spending our afternoon and evening with them and with Clark. We love them, and we can’t wait for Lydia to join us.

Here’s the letter we (and by we, I mean Abe) wrote to Lydia:

Dear Lydia,

We love you. We are so excited to see you! Your mother has carried you for nine
months, and we just can’t wait for you to arrive. We have so enjoyed reading books to
you, picking out clothes for you, talking to you, feeling you kick and listening to your
heartbeat. What a great heartbeat! We can already tell you will have a lot of energy,
which is great! You will be a bundle of excitement in our home.

I don’t know what clothing is like in the pre-existence, but you have sooo many cool
clothes awaiting you here, so don’t feel bad if you have to leave your favorite pair of
spirit slippers behind. We have all kinds of great clothes, in many colors, but mostly
PINK. We’ve decided that will be your favorite color. (Of course you can change your
mind if you want.)

We already know some great things about you through prayer and blessings. We know
that God has long planned your birthday. We know you will have musical skills. And
we know you will be a special spirit. We intend to raise you up unto the Lord, to find joy
in Him, and in the people around you. We want to guide you back to Him, so that we can
be an eternal family. We are so grateful for you, and can’t wait to see you!

Love,

Mom and Dad