Darais Days

On Tuesday Abe was in New York and met with some clients before flying home late at night. Mary’s flute lesson cancelled so I only had to do math, dance, and orchestra runs. Lydia and I managed the harp together, which always feels like a feat. The hardest part is our front step, but the way we did it this time was Lydia pulled up on the harp while I rolled it down the step, and then she lowered it onto the lower step. Success.

In the morning I don’t know what I did. Ammon’s homeschooling has been falling through the cracks so I assume I was trying to get a handle on the house after the trip and being out of commission for so long. I might have added some post scripts to my eulogy for mom. I did my hour and a half of school runs in the morning and then my afternoon went: pick up Mary, pick up Ammon, drop off Ammon at dance, pick up Clarissa from school, pick up Ammon from math, drop off Ammon and Clarissa at dance, come home to get Lydia who wanted more time and sent me back to dance, pick up Clarissa, come home and wrangle the harp into the car, drop off Lydia and the harp at orchestra, pick up Ammon from dance, and I do believe Abe was home in time to pick up Lydia from orchestra.

Today Clarissa had a play date after school with Stuart, Mary had one with Marina, Ammon had one with Aiden, Lydia met up with Selby at the art museum, and Elizabeth, Caroline and Bennett (girls down the street) joined in the after school play date. I think we set the record for play dates today–all of the kids had one!

I made a lemon cake that my friend Jen Dean sent me a recipe for in her recent letter. She found the recipe in French in her mom’s things after her mom passed away last year, and she translated the recipe and sent it to me. I texted with her while baking and then sent her a picture of the final product.

I photographed it in front of the beautiful bouquet of flowers we received today from Pedja. I was so touched. They are gorgeous. Also, we received two letters from Mom’s cousin, Mary Jo Hilpert, whom I had trouble finding after Mom died. I still don’t know how she knew. But I felt so happy when I got the letter because mom specifically left a note to notify Mary Jo, and I was a little concerned that I hadn’t. She shared that Mom was the nicest person and that we will be sure to miss her. She’s right!

In the morning after my school run for Mary, I asked Abe to load Stilton so I could take him to the vet after dropping Clarissa off. He came to the garage and grabbed the carrier, went to get Stilton…and then came back out. Stilton had died in the night. We were both in shock, and so scared to tell the kids. I just went upstairs and gave Lydia, who was sleeping on the trundle upstairs, a huge hug. She woke up and asked, half asleep, “Is Stilton okay?”

I didn’t answer. She asked again, and then realized what had happened. Abe and I sat next to her while she curled up and processed her grief. Abe attempted to explain his reasoning behind not taking Stilton in the night before but that did not help. Eventually he had to go to work, and after he left I went downstairs to take Clarissa to school. At that point I heard loud wailing from the girls’ room. I thought Clarissa had handled the news fine (she had been sleeping on the trundle so heard us talking to Lydia), but I guess being in the room where she had lived with Stilton was just too much. She spent the morning wailing in my arms until 10am. When she calmed down I took her to school, where she cried quietly through recess. At night when she had to go to bed in the bed where she used to cuddle Stilton, she wailed again for another hour while Abe and I both held her.

In the middle of the day Nicole and Graham, our realtors, dropped in. I had contacted Nicole when it looked like we might move. I asked them what updates we needed to do to the house, and their advice was unequivocal. Don’t update anything! I was surprised because I assumed that if we updated it would be beneficial, but they both said we wouldn’t get our money back on any updates so not to do any. That was good news.

In the evening we took the kids out for Lydia’s birthday dinner at Sushi Mon. We had delicious sushi and then went to Meet Fresh for dessert. It was all Chinese shaved ice, egg waffles, and grass jelly. Very interesting and Lydia was the only person who did a great job ordering. The rest of us were in the wilderness and ordered random things that we felt ambivalent about. But I think it did grow on us over the course of the evening. I certainly would not turn down a bowl of grass jelly right now.

Wednesdays are the days I pretty much drive all day. I drove Mary to Ligon and back from 7-8am, then Clarissa to school at 8:15, then I was up to my eyeballs in laundry and house cleaning until I left for Mary at 2, dropped her off and picked Ammon up at 2:45, dropped off Ammon at 3, picked up Clarissa at 3:10, picked up Ammon at 4, dropped Ammon at 4:15, took Clarissa to swim at 5, returned home at 6:40 and picked up Mary to drop her off at Young Women’s at 7, picked up Ammon at 7:15, and then went back to the Clawson’s (YW were making pizza at their house which is 20 minutes away) to pick up Mary at 8.

Oh, and we got our locks rekeyed by the best locksmith, A Carolina Locksmith. The locksmith’s name was Greg and he was a delight. In between all of that I chatted a lot with him. He told me about some miracles he’s experienced and was just a beacon of light. I felt very happy knowing he was the person rekeying our locks. The last locksmiths who came gave me the heebie jeebies, so it was nice having someone I trusted redo their work and fix our broken garage door handle.

In the evening I went to bed early. At about 10:30 Lydia came rushing into the room just as Abe was getting into bed and turning off the light. She explained Stilton had a urinary blockage and needed to be rushed to the ER. Abe was overwhelmed after working a 14 hour day and told her that whatever it was it could wait until the morning. Lydia was distraught and came in a second time to insist it was urgent. I promised to take him first thing in the morning, but it turns out that was the wrong call. The next morning, when Abe went to load him to the carrier so I could take Stilton in, he had already died. It was a terrible shock to all of us, and we feel so bad for not listening better to Lydia.

On Saturday morning we gathered in the breakfast room of the hotel with everyone, and we took pictures together before everyone dispersed. It was really special seeing so much family and so many friends. We enjoyed discussing AI with Rob (who said his division will shrink from 90 to 10 within a year due to AI!) and Ken, who runs a research institute on AI.

Then Clark’s family and Tom and Suzanne and us went to Pease’s to pick up some Easter candy. On the way we took pictures in front of Grandma’s house on 1609 Lowell and the house where Grandma was born and raised (on the next block). We also took pictures in front of Blessed Sacrament, where Mom attended and went to school.

Clark and Lily reminiscing about Pease’s Easter Eggs: https://photos.app.goo.gl/Y34g1U5AaQXvgAVs6

After Pease’s we went to Cozy Dog for lunch. I rediscovered I don’t like hot dogs, but can manage a cozy dog if it is drenched in mustard. I should have ordered the chili and if we ever go back that is what I will get. After lunch Clark, Abe and the kids went crazy on a machine where you insert quarters and try to see if the machine will push out quarters over the edge so you “win.” They must have played for thirty minutes. They started out getting $20 worth of quarters, inserting them all, and then reinserting all the quarters they “won” in the process. Everyone was enthralled except Swathi and me, who could not understand the strategy and (in my case) even grasp the basic concept of what was happening.

Quarter game: https://photos.app.goo.gl/3dtXjVYrqhguFnZZA

After Cozy Dog Tom and Suzanne drove to the airport (they might have actually left before the machine with quarters was discovered), and then Clark’s family and ours drove to Chicago. We had Ammon, Clarissa and Meera in the car and they had the most adorable conversation the entire drive up. We drove up Lakeshore Drive, which was beautiful and fun to see.

Clarissa and Meera talked like this for almost two hours in the car: https://photos.app.goo.gl/iMhnMENQDk1or3qr5

We arrived in Evanston in the evening where the kids played at Penny Park. It was cold so Abe stayed with the kids while Lydia, Clark, Swathi and I headed to the hotel. Apparently while we were warming up some 17 year olds lent the kids their laser tag guns and the kids and Abe played until almost 7pm. They had a great time.

Kids playing laser tag: https://photos.app.goo.gl/BbWpkmJ6wNguybJr6

Final showdown between Soren and Mary: https://photos.app.goo.gl/HopxLAyQSFzrAaqVA

At 7pm we walked to Lou Malnatti’s and met up with Amelia Richardson, Dean’s daughter and my friend since high school. I had not seen Amelia in probably over a decade. It was WONDERFUL to see her, visit and catch up. We had a lot of interesting conversation and it was just a generally good time. It was also fun to see where she lives–just across the street from Lou Malnatti’s in a beautiful building. What a great location.

After that we headed home and went to bed. Our hotel configuration remained the same as it had been in Springfield: Lydia, Mary and Clarissa in one room while Ammon, Abe and I were in the next door room. No one wants to share a bed with Ammon because they are all afraid he will pee on them. It was a full day!

On Friday we joined up with our group for breakfast, and then after breakfast we walked over to the Abraham Lincoln Museum. Half of the group had been before and half had not. It really is the best museum. We all felt so inspired, and I kept thinking how appropriate it is that my mom is from Springfield. She had a similar Midwestern freshness and purity of heart that Lincoln possessed.

After the museum we ate Maid Rites in the square next to the museum. It was very nostalgic since we grew up going to Springfield several times a year and would always eat Maid Rite on those trips. After lunch we walked back to the hotel, changed clothes, and headed to Calvary Cemetery.

At the Cemetery I saw Rosemary Mauck, and that was when I cried for the first time that day. I was so touched that she had come up on the train, and also that she had been such a good friend to my parents for so many decades. I also saw my cousin Beth, whom I had not seen in decades. She looked exactly the same as the last time I’d seen her and hadn’t changed at all. Same with Suzi. Also a van full of Mom’s friends– Jen Barnaby, Althea and Tanya Wright, Mario and Nikki, Bev and Jen’s aunt arrived. It was amazing to see them all.

I didn’t anticipate talking at the burial, but because there were so many people (including a cousin of Mom’s side on the Colby side, and also Penny Wolla and some other high school friends and neighbor friends of hers), we just gave our funeral talks again. It was a beautiful day which was great because there was limited seating under the tent.

After our talks we placed roses on Mom’s casket, and I held the casket corner before it was time to go. I also chatted with some of the people who had come to pay their respects. Rosemary sat in the graveyard with the kids and played a game with them, and then we rushed her to the Amtrak where she made her train by 7 minutes.

“God is good all the time!” she said as she exited the car.

After the burial we headed back to the hotel where Abe, Clark, Tom and the kids all played an epic game of keep away in the pool we grew up swimming with Grandma in. The rest of us visited in the lobby. Aunt Dee had brought cheese and happy hour drinks, and it was lovely visiting with my cousins. I also got to chat with a family that Mom resettled after Hurricane Katrina. Jen called Frances on the phone and Frances told me how much Mom meant to her. It was a special call, and after Jen looked at me and said she could make a hundred more calls like that and all the people would say the same thing: Georgia was there. She said Georgia was there every step of the way for so, so many people.

After “happy hour” we went to Saputo’s, which felt like a miracle because Clark and I had not planned ahead. They just happened to have a room for 30 (there were EXACTLY 30 of us), and the dinner went off perfectly. There were appetizers waiting for people as we arrived and everyone was able to order what they wanted. It went perfectly, the service was great, and the restaurant was one block from the hotel. Amazing. You could even call it one of Mom’s miracles because we were scrambling to figure out how to coordinate dinner for our group in Springfield, where everything is pretty much closed down!