Today was a great day. The girls woke up late, so I actually got a chance to study my scriptures and write in my scripture journal before they woke up, and wow–what a difference that made. I wrote down everything that bothered me about yesterday and realized that I get frustrated at Lydia because I am profoundly confused. I don’t always know what to do to help both girls feel loved and protected, and things happen so fast that in the moment I just give up and get mad. Since my own confusion is the real problem, I decided that today I would just make a point to remember that during tricky situations. Remembering helped me be calm(er) and made it possible for me to end this day with no keep-me-up-at-night regrets.
Also, preschool went really well. I rummaged through the house last night and found these oval shapes: an Easter egg candy, a ring, two spoons, a lemon, a teething ring, and my kitchen radio. The kids seemed to enjoy pulling surprises out of my bag and sorting the ovals from the squares. And later today, when I was reading a book to Lydia, she pointed out an oval! That made me feel good.
Just as our last preschool friend was pulling away, who should show up but Anthony, Malika, and Emil! I was so excited to see them, especially because they live in Switzerland, and so an in-person visit with these friends is a treasure. Knowing Anthony and Malika, I just knew Emil would be a special baby, and he was. He was so calm and cuddly. I got to hold him for a moment at the end, but he much prefers his mama, and really, with a mom like Malika, he can not be blamed.
As soon as they left I ate lunch and cleaned the house. I had the preschool kids eat their snacks right next to the closet where I keep the vacuum, and as I cleaned I congratulated myself on that excellent foresight. I also internally debated whether I should follow through on my plans to accompany Abe to Moab tonight. Since Arches National Park is probably shut down from the government furlough, I decided against going.
Abe still came home for a little bit, though, and that made it possible for me to run some flowers over to the hospital where our friend, Jill, just had a sweet little baby, Griffin. I got to hold Griffin, and I could not believe how calm and alert he was. The whole time I had to fight back tears because Jill’s husband is being deployed for six months starting this Sunday, and Jill has three other little kids. I do NOT know how she does it, but I admire her so much. She is so strong, calm, and kind–and also, I just have to say, did not even have the slightest hint of a postpartum belly. I want to be more like Jill!
After that inspiring visit, I dashed to the grocery store and rushed home to start some pizza. I kind of messed up the dough, and I should have caramelized at least twice as many onions, but the pizzas were still tasty. Only I know that, though, since the girls got hungry before the pizzas were done. I won’t tell you what they ate instead. It’s simply too appalling.
Then I had a magical time feeding and rocking Mary after her evening nap. (Her schedule was wacky today on account of preschool.) It was SO wonderful to cuddle and play with my baby, although in the back of my mind I still couldn’t shake the bad-mom guilt; that time was bought by allowing Lydia to burn away her chance for normal vision by watching…the iPad.
When I couldn’t stand the idea of Lydia staring at a screen any longer, I came down and coaxed her upstairs, where I gave the girls an early bath together. Then we read and played for the next two hours until bedtime. I then showered, cleaned the kitchen again, and am now blogging.
[break in blogging] WHOA! I just ran upstairs because Mary was crying and discovered that she had pooped so much that her diaper came off. I gave up cloth diapering a couple months ago because the incessant laundry (with our machine in the basement, no less) was too overwhelming, but after this incident, I am rethinking that decision. My goodness!
Here are today’s pics:
- Lydia gave me plenty of opportunities to practice my resolve to be more patient!
