December 2013 – Page 3

Being a mom was fun today.

I went grocery shopping before Abe left to work today because I simply could not bear the thought of attempting that with two girls in the snow. As soon as I returned, we loaded the girls up in my car and I took them to the library to pay down the $25 I have in fines. I “pay” these down by reading to my children, sometimes for hours at a time. The library credits you with $1 for every ten minutes you read to one child. Since I have two children, I get $2 instead. Today our reading session was cut short by Mary, who became a little sad an hour and a half after her normal morning nap time. I still paid down $8.40, though! It felt great.

After the library, looking happy that she gets to eat and nap soon.

After the library, I proceeded to have a fantastic day. The only thing missing from yesterday and today has been exercise, but other than that, I feel absolutely no panic or stress. I’ve come to terms with the sub-par work I’ve been handing in at school, and I’ve started restoring balance by spending more time with my kids. Reading to them lowers my stress level and makes me feel better, and so I’ve decided to start scheduling that into my daily goals just like I schedule in the piano, scriptures, school, and exercise. Hopefully that will help.

And Lydia is back to doing quiet time without any type of protest, so that makes my life AWESOME. Today Mary took a three hour nap, and Lydia’s quiet time extended to three hours because she elected to take a nap, too. I spent that whole time wasting my life on the internet, but you know what? After mindlessly staring at my iPad for three hours, I emerged the best, most attentive mom I’ve been–ever? I really think it’s ever. I told Abe on the phone that I have never been as nice or as fun a mom as I was this evening, and I wish I could be that way all the time!

We read books and pretended to eat the food Mary cooked for us in their play kitchen.

After accidentally kneeling in a puddle of Mary’s pee (she peed with anticipation upon seeing the bath fill up), I jumped into the bath with my kids and let them wash my hair and scrub my peed-on knees with soap. They seemed to have so much fun that I didn’t even need to get the bath toys wet. Plus I got clean, and since I’m not sure when I last showered, that’s no small boon.

Abe’s out of town tonight, so I think I will continue my irresponsible behavior and waste more time online now…

When Abe leaves town, sometimes he leaves me notes around the house. It's so sweet. Today I came home and found a bunch of notes on the walls. Here's one (in the background). — When Abe leaves town, sometimes he leaves me notes around the house. It’s so sweet. Today I came home and found a bunch of notes on the walls. Here’s one (in the background).

Oh! I almost forgot. Lydia said the cutest prayer by herself tonight. She said thank-you that Daddy, Mama and Nana all love Mary and her so much, and then she added a thank-you for her cat. She then said that she thought the cat would not mind if she went on a trip and bought him a gift. And then she went off on a long tangent about what would happen on her trip…

A little later, after the girls were in bed, I listened at the door and heard Lydia entertaining Mary with tales about our India trip. She said, “India is a place where we go to stay. You can have lunch there, Mary, and I will dance. Dance, dance, dance!” (She did some dancing at one of the wedding parties there.)

Abe’s new job!!!

Abe officially accepted a new job with Qualtrics today!! He is elated, and after putting in his two weeks notice with his current job, he feels over-the-moon with joy. It’s been a long road, but the end is finally in sight. Yay, Abe!!! I am so happy for him. He has worked so hard for so long, and he finally gets to join a healthy, happy company. Woo-hoo!!

We won’t be moving right away, but since the commute is about an hour (Qualtrics is based out of Provo), we will be moving to Provo at some point in time.

I am really excited to be close to BYU, because after cooking school I would LOVE to get a masters degree in religion. How convenient will it be to live right next to BYU? So convenient! Plus it’s one of three google fiber cities in the U.S., and the mountains are right there.

The downside: Provo is even more homogeneous than Salt Lake, if that’s possible. Scaaarrry. Also, I will miss Misty.

She came over for a play date today, and the girls baked cookies together.

Lydia said, "Sophia, sweet-hawt, come here!" and then, when Sophia was rolling out the cookie dough: "Sophia, honey, there's dough sticking to the rowing pin. Wet me hewp you." (Lydia loves Sophia.) — Lydia said, “Sophia, sweet-hawt, come here!” and then, when Sophia was rolling out the cookie dough: “Sophia, honey, there’s dough sticking to the rowing pin. Wet me hewp you.” (Lydia loves Sophia, and she also can’t pronounce “L” yet.)

Sophia loved patting the dough into a ball.

Here they are playing chase around the house.

...And I'm in love with Mary's chubby little legs. — …And I’m in love with Mary’s chubby little legs.

Mary lives--and I don't think I'm exaggerating--on clementines. One rolled under the butcher block, and she was determined to get it back. — Mary lives–and I don’t think I’m exaggerating–on clementines. One rolled under the butcher block, and she was determined to get it back.

Today was a great day. To make it even better, I was STARVING during the girls’ naps because when it’s snowy outside, the last thing I ever want to do is go grocery shopping. Anique called me out of the blue and dropped off some delicious baked beans and butternut squash soup. It was so sweet! I couldn’t even believe it. Not only did Abe get a new job and I get to spend the morning with Misty, but when hunger hit, food and a friend showed up at my door. Lucky me!

Also, my revised blog post is now up at Mormon Momma. The last paragraph at the end is the result of my sleepless, guilt-ridden nights after writing the original article.

Dinner with the Andersons (sans pics) and Variations on a Theme (with pics)

Pre-church. I would match my children every day if I could. Variations on a theme is my next favorite thing to do, and a little bit of both makes my heart unreasonably happy.

Lydia giving in to her natural hoarding instinct. Mary is waiting patiently for her to start sharing.

She did not wait in vain. (There was quite a bit of parental prodding/cajoling/threatening that took place to get us from point A to point B.)

Mary Berry! (Doesn't she look like one? Abe coined that phrase today.) This is Mary before Abe took the girls outside to build a snow fort. — Mary Berry! (Doesn’t she look like one? Abe coined that phrase today.) This is Mary before Abe took the girls outside to build a snow fort.

The two girls bundled before their snow fort play session.

And then I stopped taking pictures, because I was busy cooking dinner. We had our friends, Paige, Michael, Ada and Olive Anderson over for dinner. I kept thinking that I needed to interrupt to take pictures of Ada and Lydia playing, but I enjoy adult conversation to the point where it’s hard to tear myself away. They were so fun.

We were supposed to go to the Christmas devotional at the Conference Center tonight because our friends, the Vattikutis, gave us tickets. However, Abe placed them on the windowsill where Mary found them and (we presume) swatted them into the trash can below. Sad! But at the end of the day, it worked out because we got to spend time with the Andersons.

And now I am full of food and ready for my bed. Goodnight!

Errands, Christmas and another C

This morning we clipped the girls' nails. Mary LOVES this activity. Her enjoyment is the only way we can convince Lydia to let us do the same to her. — This morning we clipped the girls’ nails. Mary LOVES this activity. Her enjoyment convinced Lydia to let us do the same to her.

Lydia didn't enjoy it to quite the same level. — Lydia didn’t enjoy it to quite the same level.

After that, we loaded the girls in the car and hit:

Target, Walmart, Old Navy, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, Kid to Kid, Smith’s and Robinson Tree Farms:

We went here last year for the first time. Abe and I love walking through this big tree lot and pretending we're in a forest. — We went here last year for the first time. Abe and I love walking through this big tree lot and pretending we’re in a forest.

...And so did Lydia. — …And so did Lydia.

Lydia went around hugging various trees and becoming passionately attached to the most skiwompus trees in the lot. Abe would say stuff like, “Lydia, do you like this healthy, even looking tree or this gaunt, sickly one?” and she would reply, “The gaunt, sick-wee one!”

Lydia found a soap box on which to stand and declaim her love of gaunt trees.

Mary started getting cold, so Abe bundled her in his coat.

Lydia had a blast taking out every single box in our Christmas bins. Don’t let her sober camera face fool you.

Mary was DYING to help hang stuff on the tree, so we finally let her hang some candy canes.

We almost got Balu to come over, but he had a school meeting to go to. We could have used him tonight because corralling Mary around the tree was impossible. She just wanted to help so badly. — We almost got Balu to come over, but he had a school meeting to go to. We could have used him tonight; corralling Mary around the tree was impossible! She just wanted to help so badly.

Lydia and I hung ornaments while Abe tried to keep Mary from undoing our work.

Here are Martha Stewart's felt ornaments on the tree. I went to so many stores today looking for the screw punch she says you need to thread these ornaments, but after going a million places with no luck, it occurred to me that I could just sew some embroidery floss onto the ornaments. After our afternoon nap, I spent an hour threading all the ornaments--and it worked! No $15 screw punch necessary. — Here are Martha Stewart’s felt ornaments on the tree. I went to so many stores today looking for the screw punch she says you need to thread these ornaments, but after going a million places with no luck, it occurred to me that I could just sew some embroidery floss onto the ornaments. After our afternoon nap, I spent an hour threading all the ornaments–and it worked! No $15 screw punch necessary.

The girls napped until after 6pm, and I didn't finish threading the ornaments until 6pm. I considered just doing canned soup for dinner, but since today was our official entry into the Christmas season, I decided to make some polenta cakes and kale. The colors were right, and they came together pretty quickly. — The girls napped until after 6pm, and I didn’t finish threading the ornaments until 6pm. I considered just doing canned soup for dinner, but since today was our official entry into the Christmas season, I decided to make some polenta cakes and kale. The colors were right, and they came together pretty quickly.

On the lower right you will notice Abe's Christmas tree from college. One Christmas he was feeling sad and not festive; he went to class and stumbled on a craft fair in the entry of his building. He bought this green retractable extendable tree and felt that God had given him a little gift to help him feel more merry. — On the lower right you will notice Abe’s Christmas tree from college. One Christmas he was feeling sad and not festive; he went to class and stumbled on a craft fair in the entry of his building. He bought this green retractable extendable tree. It cheered him up right away and made him feel like God had put that little tree in his path to help him be more merry.

And now to my homework. I missed another deadline for my menu class, so now I have to go make up that late work. The 74.3% in my online gradebook is seriously stressing me out. Maybe that’s why, even after all the decorating, I still don’t feel very festive this year. Hopefully getting this assignment done will help fix that.

[Too much] piano, and cookies

I practiced for hours today.

I felt so bad about neglecting Lydia for that long, so after a couple hours I stopped and we did this:

Lydia liked the whole process very much.

When Mary woke up from her nap, she refused to eat anything except our gingerbread cookies. I don't know how she did it because they are hard, but she made a couple disappear with only her 3 teeth. — When Mary woke up from her nap, she refused to eat anything except our gingerbread cookies. I don’t know how she did it because they are hard, but she made a couple disappear with only her 3 teeth.

Lydia spent my practice time watching Sesame Street DVD’s and entertaining herself.

Ever since I taught Lydia how to load books on cd in the cd player, we have been listening to Marian Anderson sing. We have a ton of other books on tape checked out, but this is Lydia's (and our) favorite. — Ever since I taught Lydia how to load books on cd in the cd player, we have been listening to Marian Anderson sing. We have a ton of other books on tape checked out, but this is Lydia’s (and our) favorite.

She keeps telling me that I need to go buy her some pedals for her bike. In fact, that is exactly what she is saying to me in this picture.

Mary was sleepy today. We put her down for her first nap shortly after Abe (!) took this shot. She proceeded to sleep for the next four hours. That's more like it. — Mary was sleepy today. We put her down for her first nap shortly after Abe (!) took this shot. She proceeded to sleep for the next four hours. That’s more like the Mary I know!

We had a field trip to Muir Farms (really a food distribution center) today, and Abe took the girls to the ward Christmas party during my field trip. Lydia asked Santa to please bring her cat back to her, and Mary spent the party toddling everywhere.

My field trip was done a little early, so I spent the rest of the evening practicing.

I really need to put the brakes on the piano, but it feels so wonderful to play. Tomorrow is Saturday, though, so I hope to realign my priorities and spend more time with my family starting tomorrow.

Also, Abe got REALLY exciting news today. I hate veiled communication, but such is necessary until Monday. Suffice it to say, we have felt God’s compassionate intervention in some of Abe’s challenges at work, and Abe’s prayers were answered today.

low-key Thursday

This morning I visit taught my friend, Marilyn. She’s had six kids (all of whom are grown up now), and I always leave her feeling like she’s visit taught me instead of visa versa. For instance, today she told me this inspiring story: When her first son was two years old, he spilled a pitcher of lemonade all over a dinner she had spent the whole day preparing (they had company that night). In total shock, she stared at the mess and then with tears in her eyes said, “Guess who still loves you? Can you help Mommy clean this up?”

Wow! I felt so motivated to be kinder to my two year old after that. Marilyn told me she wished she had reacted that way more often when her kids were little, and I left feeling inspired to be a better mom. I was more inclined to say yes when Lydia begged to go outside and play in the snow today because of my morning visit. I forgot to take pictures, but we played chase again. It was sunny and not too cold, and actually I had a lot of fun.

I also played with Mary on the stairs for the better part of an hour, and that activity was made especially more fun because there were lots of cuddles involved. After Mary got tired on the stairs, I put her down for a nap (and put Lydia in her room for quiet time) and read and felted for the next couple of hours.

I also got a good deal of piano in during Mary’s first nap–she took two naps again today!!!–, and since I also did Bikram this evening, I am feeling pretty great about life. My only wish is that school tomorrow did not fall smack dab during the ward Christmas party.

I didn’t take any pictures today, but while Abe watched the girls during my yoga session, he took some.

Looks like they got a bubble bath today.

Lydia made Abe talk in Minnie Mouse and Donald Duck voices for two hours straight. Whenever he'd stop, she'd burst into tears. — Lydia made Abe talk in Minnie Mouse and Donald Duck voices for two hours straight. Whenever he’d stop, she’d burst into tears.

Someone got a bubble beard... — Someone got a bubble beard…

Mostly the pictures

Here’s what happened today: Treadmill. Preschool. Food prep. Reading. A little piano. A little felting. Reading to my kids. A little cleaning. Class.

It’s hard to come up with much to say about today. I had a lot less panic and anxiety today–go, treadmill, go! Also, I cuddled my babies a lot. They were exceptionally lovable today.

Here are the pictures:

I have a million pictures like this from today.

...But I'm only going to post two. — …But I’m only going to post two.

Also, Lydia got a postcard album from her cat. She was beside herself with joy.

Thanks, Beth, for doing that for Lydia! It was the sweetest gift ever. You are the best! — Thanks, Beth, for doing that for Lydia! It was the sweetest gift ever. We love you so much!

Ornaments and snow

I am a newcomer to panic and anxiety, but Abe is an old pro in those departments. He tells me that exercise is a great way to control your thoughts, so this morning I eased back into my treadmill routine. Heavy on the “ease.” But I did notice improvement! I didn’t feel quite so panicky.

Mainly I bounced between the piano and my felting station all day. I am making our ornaments this year, and yesterday my final package arrived in the mail. So today I set up shop and started felting away. Ever since Martha Stewart featured a little video on felting these ornaments last Christmas, I have been daydreaming about what it must feel like to do the same.

I wish I could say I enjoy felting as much as I anticipated enjoying it, but when you’ve anticipated something for a whole year, meeting those sky-high expectations becomes rather difficult. But I do enjoy making these ornaments, and I am very excited to have a child-friendly tree.

Some cute things that happened with the girls today: Lydia has been having trouble getting her hair washed recently. She has never enjoyed the process, but we do it every day and she gets through it. Lately, though, she has started screaming and trying to climb out of the tub when we try to touch her hair. Today was a loud and painful ordeal for her, and at the end, I gave her a big hug. Mary was watching and toddled over to give Lydia a big hug too. It was kind of adorable.

Here are today’s pictures:

It snowed today! Lydia begged me to go outside with her, and since Mary was napping, I agreed.

I spent the first two minutes taking pictures of her, and then I put my camera inside so we could play chase. Building snowmen is Abe's specialty, but it's too cold of an activity for me. Chase, though, I can do... — I spent the first two minutes taking pictures of her, and then I put my camera inside so we could play chase in the snow. Building snowmen is Abe’s specialty, but it’s too cold of an activity for me. Chase, though, I can do…

Here are some of the ornaments I traced, cut out, and felted. Aren't they so fun? — Here are some of the ornaments I traced, cut out, and felted. Aren’t they so fun?

Close up of the detail. Martha Stewart pairs these ornaments with pine cones and bristle ornaments. Currently, I do not collect anything that I can think of, but my new goal is to start collecting bristle woodland ornaments.

homework takeover

I woke up this morning with panic in my chest. When I signed up for cooking school, I had no idea what the work load would be. Turns out, it’s a lot more work than I ever imagined — even though I had sufficient warning (that, Julia, is a reference to my email exchange with Jamie. Thank you SO much for that hook-up!). Anyway, I woke up battling racing thoughts and panic, and those didn’t get any better as the day wore on.

After dropping my mom off at the airport at noon, I came home, read to the girls, and attempted to put them down for quiet time and nap time. Mary is resisting her afternoon nap these days, so this attempt was not entirely successful. Finally, I just let her toddle around while I worked on my homework…from 3pm to 10:20pm, with only brief intermissions.

Can you believe that? And I’m not even doing any lab classes this semester! And I’m submitting sub-par work! And half of my assignments aren’t getting turned in on time! It is nuts.

I don’t even know why I’ve self-imposed all of this pressure and activity in my life. When I took time today to read and play with my kids, I wistfully remembered just a month ago when I didn’t ever have anything competing with that time.

BUT I also remember (since it was only a month ago) feeling like I was disappearing into motherhood…and I didn’t like it. I mean, I LOVE my children, but I just didn’t like the lack of self actualization on my own terms. I grew up thinking that I could never get enough of domesticity, but it turns out that, after cleaning my kitchen floor approximately two thousand times, I can.

In one Relief Society meeting over a decade ago, one of my friends gave a great lesson on balance. She said that competitive swimmers don’t balance by gliding on the top of the water; rather, they pivot completely from side to side, and thereby achieve perfect balance. I took that analogy to heart, but I have to say, I feel like I am completely pivoted right now, and it doesn’t feel very balanced! I’m constantly chasing down time to self actualize, but in the meantime I feel like a slacker in the mom department, a slob in the homemaking department, and short-tempered in the wife department. When I practice or do homework or drive to my evening classes, at the back of my mind is this constant terror that these choices mean I’m a selfish narcissist. But also at the back is this faint hope that this pursuit will eventually give me balance. I’ll feel really betrayed if I ever discover that the best swimmers just glide evenly on top.

Because I suspect I am a narcissist, I spend most of my blogging time chronicling my own thoughts and feelings, and don’t do as great of a job capturing what’s going on in my family. Which is the whole point of this blog. I haven’t even written about how Lydia got confused when Abe tried to teach her the concept of privacy the other day, and that a was such a cute bungle. He asked her if she wanted her privacy on the potty, and she eagerly said she did. A couple minutes later, she sat down at her table wailing because no one had given her her privacy, and minutes later she was leading Nana around the house by the finger searching for her “pwivacy.” She thought it was a type of candy bar reward for going potty, and she was sorely disappointed when those expectations went unmet.

In my crazy attempts to carve time for self-actualization out of the day, I have discovered books on tape for children. I don’t know how they evaded me before, but wow, are they awesome. Today I finally taught Lydia how to load, unload, control the buttons and follow along in the book; that liberated me for hours. Well, some books are more ensnaring than liberating…for instance, today I stayed long enough to listen to a book on Marian Anderson, the African American opera singer from the 1940’s and 50’s. Some of her songs made my panicky, stressed heart want to crack in two. Hands down my favorite children’s book I’ve listened to on tape (and, since I just discovered this genre, consider me an expert).

Here are some pics we took during FHE. Kudos to Abe for coming up with the whole activity, because I was ready to skip it and work on my homework instead…

Abe wanted to act out the story of Jericho’s walls, but Lydia wanted to dress up in last year’s monkey costume. Then we put Mary in Lydia’s old cow costume, and Noah’s ark it was.

Abe was Noah. Here we are singing, "The animals go in two by two, hurrah, hurrah." Lydia is marching in place to the lyrics. — Abe was Noah. Here we are singing, “The animals go in two by two, hurrah, hurrah.” Lydia is marching in place to the lyrics.

I was Noah's wife/the narrator. (I read the story from Jan Brett's fabulously illustrated version.) — I was Noah’s wife/the narrator. (I read the story from Jan Brett’s fabulously illustrated version.) My neck is scratched up because that is Mary’s favorite new hobby whenever I hold her.

From earlier in the day, before I dropped my mom off at the airport.

Farewell, family =(

Today was Clark and Swathi’s last day in Utah. I am so sad they are gone, especially since while they were here we had in-house babysitters all the time. Abe and I both took two hour naps today and trusted that Lydia was in the greatest possible hands while we were zonked out.

And tomorrow my mom leaves, so by tomorrow night I will feel completely bereft. We will even see less of Balu than we have over the past weekend, simply because he will be gearing up for finals. I guess I should not mourn the future and instead focus on how great this past weekend with my family has been. Today I didn’t even have to cook since Balu and Swathi cooked some amazing Indian food–and Swathi even baked a pecan pie for us all. It was delicious.

Aside from napping all day and nursing a crazy headache, I had a wonderful visit with my visiting teacher, Erica Bowen. It’s amazing how uplifted a good visit can make me feel, and her insights and experiences buoyed my faith and happiness quite a bit.

I also loved just chatting with my family after we put the girls to bed. It was so fun to do nothing but sit around and talk for two hours. I love my family.

Since my headache is not getting any better and I still have a lot to clean, let me just finish and post the pictures of the day.

This is Abe feeding Lydia and Mary. This system looks strange but is surprisingly functional.

Swathi's rice. I don't have a picture of Balu's awesome chicken, but it was beautiful! — Swathi’s rice. I don’t have a picture of Balu’s awesome chicken, but it was beautiful!

Our attempt to capture a gorgeous sunset.

Balu with Clark and Swathi's Black Friday purchase (the iPad air). — Balu with Clark and Swathi’s Black Friday purchase (the iPad air).

Tom, Suzanne, and Jere stopped by after dinner, just in time to take our pictures. — Tom, Suzanne, and Jere stopped by after dinner, just in time to take our picture,

Mary pulled Lydia's hair -- maybe to try to get her to look at the camera?? — Mary pulled Lydia’s hair — maybe to try to get her to look at the camera??

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