The day started out really great today. I felt good enough to drive the kids where they needed to go, I stayed calm through Lydia’s harp and reading practice (although, I have to say, the fact that my mom has been doing Lydia’s harp practice was probably the determining factor in that outcome), and everything was running according to plan. Ammon even took a nap!
And then it all went downhill. After I dropped the girls off at tumbling and ballet, I was feeling pretty great about life. When I was about to take Ammon in the house, he escaped to the backyard. Eli, Clarissa and I followed. Since Eli was there, I went in to get my nursing cover and then attempted to drag one of our super heavy table chairs to the lawn. It wouldn’t drag, so I lifted it up…and then dropped it on my toe.
My toe broke. Now, I know this is not the end of the world. I am not a refugee, I am not a hurricane victim, I am not a slave or oppressed in any sort of way.
Nevertheless, this is one of the worst days of my life. I feel despair. I can not believe that I can not walk (without a ton of pain, at least)…again. It was one thing to be on bedrest when there were a ton of cheap, wonderful babysitters around and Clarissa was still on the inside. It is a whole different story to be on bedrest when I have to nurse Clarissa around the clock, chase Ammon, bus the kids places throughout the day, keep Ammon from killing himself, do a TON of laundry (because, cloth diapers), change Clarissa’s diapers, change Ammon’s diapers, clean up after Ammon, figure out what everyone is going to eat at every meal, and, Ammon.
I am ready for Ammon to be out of his destructive phase, and I am ready for him to be done teething. I am, in fact, ready for Ammon to be fully cognitively developed, potty trained, and able to hold reasonable conversations. I love him so much, and this stage is so cute, but I’m done. Can I please get off the mommy train? At least until my toe is healed and I can walk again? Please?
No? Okay, in that case, I am going to go to bed and pray to God my toe heals before Clarissa wakes up hungry in the middle of the night.