On Wednesday morning we headed to Portland to take the Pink Trolley tour. The kids were very excited at the prospect of riding a pink trolley. I had, however, underestimated how complicated this part of the trip would be. Our San Diego trolley ride was a smashing success–but that was probably because Clarissa slept on me the whole time and Abe had the task of keeping Ammon from jumping out of the trolley window. Also, people were much more kid friendly in San Diego.
On the pink trolley, there was a woman who yelled at the kids for being too loud and since I was two rows behind Mary and Lydia, I couldn’t pre-empt her by doing my own loud shushing. Anyway, I was busy hushing a fussy Clarissa AND physically restraining Ammon from trying to run up and down the aisle and jump out of the trolley. We got off at the first stop.
Getting off of the trolley initially felt like a relief, but then once we had descended into the rose garden in Washington Park, Lydia announced she needed to pee. There was no restroom for miles, as far as I could tell. She said she HAD to pee, so I gave her permission to pee in the rose garden. She retreated behind some bushes and let it go. I sincerely hoped no one saw, but since there were hundreds of people milling around, my hopes were most likely in vain.
After Lydia peed, she caught up with the other kids while I limped behind with Clarissa in the carrier and Ammon in the stroller. When we caught up to the kids, I took pictures of them all.
The minute I stopped taking pictures, Lydia decided to explore the hydrangea bushes, with Mary close behind. Unbeknownst to them, the hydrangea bushes were home to a wasp nest. The minute they touched the bushes, a swarm of wasps attacked Mary and Lydia. I turned around to the sounds of their piercing screams and shrieks as they ran out of the bushes hysterically. The wasps chased them out and by the time I got to the girls, they had wasps in their pants and crawling on their heads. There were some in Mary’s braids.
Candace, at this point, was truly a lifesaver. She stayed calm and used humor to help deflect their hysteria. I, in the meantime, felt angry that they had left the path, but I did my best to shoo and kill the wasps. Thank goodness Candace saw one wasp crawling in between Clarissa and me, heading for Clarissa’s bare leg. I smashed that wasp immediately, and Clarissa never got stung.
Aria calmed Mary down by telling her it was okay and that she could be quiet now, and Mary was so brave. Even though she broke out on her shoulder into a rash from the bites, she stopped crying quickly. The only evidence of the trauma she was experiencing was the occasional lip quiver, and also she did not want anyone to touch her skin or examine her rash.
Lydia, on the other hand, lost her mind. She reminded me strongly of myself upon an encounter with mice or rats. I am honestly the exact same way she is, and I know where she got whatever gene or instinct was manifesting itself while she freaked out. Lydia screamed hysterically and even when we took of her shorts, retreated to a wasp free area, and made sure there were no wasps anywhere near her, she still kept imagining she was getting attacked by wasps.
It was at this point that our situation, which felt truly awful, morphed into the lowest hour of my parenting experience. We retreated to the line in front of the Japanese Garden, and Candace kindly called me an Uber while I attempted to calm Lydia down.
The Uber took one hour to come.
During that hour, I stood with all four of my kids, all of whom took turns crying for various reasons while Lydia continually screamed about being attacked by wasps. She was in her underwear because she refused to wear her shorts, and line after line of people passed right next to our crisis and stared on unhelpfully. Ammon was hungry, Mary was thirsty, Clarissa was hot and tired, and Lydia was out of her mind.
It was then that I learned this rule, which I will never again disobey. ALWAYS KEEP YOUR CAR AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE WHEN YOU HAVE YOUNG CHILDREN. I will never again take a trolley or public transportation when Abe is not around. I will always, always make sure we are within walking distance of my car.
Finally, I figured out that the Uber was waiting around the corner from us, and we hightailed it outta there. The driver was nice and tried to calm the kids down by asking them silly questions.
When we finally got to our van, we drove back to our lovely air bnb and watched Mulan. I lay on the futon and daydreamed about napping while Clarissa crawled around. During the course of this quiet time, Lydia finally transitioned out of her panic and started to function normally again.
After a couple hours, we had courage to go back into Portland to meet my Aunt Pam and Uncle Steve at Boke Bowl. It was delicious, but I was so busy talking that I hardly got to eat anything. It was wonderful to see my aunt and uncle after the crazy day, and Candace was great and sat with the older kids so we could visit.
We originally considered going to the Eb and Bean afterward, but I was totally spent. We went home, gave everyone baths, and put those tired kiddos to bed. It was a crazy day.