I was awakened at 5 AM last Monday, February 11, by a call from Vince telling me that he was in the Los Angeles jail in Carson. He spoke so fast that I could not understand the details but I understood that he needed help – he needed my help. I was in fact the only one whose phone number he could remember. I did not want this problem. I did not want this disturbance to the beautiful, sweet time I have been enjoying with Clark and Swathi and Soren and Meera, this short interlude of drawing close to them and feeling the love in their home. But the crisis was upon me and I could not refuse it. I fell upon my knees and begged for wisdom and courage. I confessed my own weakness and my own folly. And I sought to know what Heavenly Father would have me do. From that moment on, I know that He did guide me. He spoke to me through the conversations I had with so many people – my family members, Vince’s bishop, Dyke Huish (a criminal defense attorney), and even Vince himself. He spoke to me through scriptures that came to my remembrance or to my eyes as I searched the scriptures for wisdom. And He spoke to me by whisperings of the Holy Spirit, small increments of understanding that came quietly and gently to my mind. There was much drama to my week as the unfolding of events took me up and down as if on a roller coaster. I spent much of my week on my knees. Some of the scriptures that came to my mind to guide me were: the story of the Good Samaritan; the story of the young man who would not follow Christ because he was unwilling to sell all he had; the story of the Widow’s Mite; Mosiah 4: 19 “For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God for all the substance which we have . . ?” I felt my Savior close at hand and in my spirit I saw Him as the Good Samaritan, showing me personally how to minister to the wounded traveler, even when the traveler was in his delirium resisting. I felt my Savior’s mercy and forgiveness, his compassion and his love. I also learned more of what it means to exercise faith in Jesus Christ. We must keep our focus on Him and doubt not. We must be courageous and put aside fear and know that He has all power. We must trust that He will exercise His power for us, even though we are imperfect and unworthy. We must be willing to accept His will, whatever the outcome may be.
The following is my journal entry written at 6 AM on Friday, February 15, following Vince’s release from prison.
“My soul is rejoicing in the knowledge I have gained in this past week as I have struggled to gain wisdom and to help Vince in the way Heavenly Father would help. More than ever I know without a doubt that Jesus Christ lives! He is real! He is full of mercy, forgiveness and love. We are all beggars before Him and he is eager to bless us. He will fight our battles for us and He will be victorious for us. He has all power. He is the Creator of the universe and Redeemer of all. He will perform miracles for us if we have faith in Him, if we trust Him, if we do not fear. He will walk with us into the fire. He will uphold us as we walk on water. We must keep our focus on Him and never look down at the water lapping at our feet, and never doubt – just have faith in Him, just trust Him.
“I shall strive to live with this knowledge alive within me and never doubt His love and His power of deliverance. I may need this knowledge for what lies ahead. I have appointments today to determine why I have had blood in my urine. I shall await the verdict and rejoice whatever the verdict is – because I know Jesus Christ walks with me and He will carry me.”