Month: July 2019

On Wednesday at 4 the babysitter came so I could go to the Sunstone welcome dinner and the talk Reza Azlan gave. He was amazing! My favorite part of his talk was when he compared religion to a well. It’s just a well to get to the water of spiritual transcendence and connection. Also, the well is made up of metaphors and rituals we use to express our transcendence and connection to ourselves and each other. He tries to educate his children so they are fluent in all religious language and does not care what well they choose as long as they drink water.

I also enjoyed the dinner. Normally I get anxious about social situations, but honestly I am so spiritually confused and desperate to connect over that confusion, I threw it all to the wind and just talked to whoever was at my table. They were all interesting, delightful people.

This day was pretty laid back. Lydia went on an outing with the Activity Day Girls to This is the Place park for a tea party and just fun at the park. The other three kids played with each other and then we went to the splash pad in the afternoon.

On Sunday I felt kind of silly sitting at home reading about God instead of being with my family at church. It seemed ridiculous and ironic that I was reading about God instead of supporting my family and connecting with my neighbors!

But I so strongly dislike so much of the language and theology that is used and taught at church. So I don’t know if I want to go and just feel upset for two hours. After church I talked with Abe and said maybe we could work something out where we church hop on fast Sundays and then I’ll go with them on a different Sunday each month, just so we’re not always apart at church.

Abe left on another work trip in the afternoon, which always makes me sad and nervous. I always worry he’s going to get in a car crash or a plane crash or something. It was a bit of a tough evening, and the kids felt it too. After they were tucked in, I heard Mary crying in her room so I checked on her. I asked why she was crying and she sobbed that she didn’t know. She was just sad. So I gave her long cuddles and explained to her and Lydia that I’ve been on steroids all week for my foot, that steroids sometimes make you angry or aggressive, and that I’m sorry for being unpleasant so much. Mary kept saying that wasn’t the reason she was crying, but I felt really guilty because I’m sure all of the negative energy I’ve been putting out gets absorbed by my family on some level. Anyway, after everyone was happy again I went back and watched Mormon stories interviews until past midnight. The history of the Church is so, so bizarre and fascinating. I could barely close my computer because I was totally riveted.

On Saturday Abe and Josh took the kids to the Utah desert to find rocks for the garden. I stayed home and read and wasted time. Abe is leaving for most of the week on Sunday, so it was really nice to have some down time before he goes.

These are the pictures he took!

The car fell into a mud hole. Abe built a bridge out of sage brush and pushed the car out single handedly. He is a stud.

This morning Lydia let Clarissa help her make waffles for everyone…

In the evening before Abe came home, Clarissa climbed onto my lap and we took a selfie. She loves to grab my phone and say, “cheeeeeeese!”

Then we took all of the kids to the mountains to celebrate the birthday of one of Abe’s team members. I mostly chased the babies and made sure Clarissa didn’t throw herself into the raging river (which she honestly tried to do on multiple occasions. I wish I were exaggerating, but she literally tried to climb through the bridge into the river. I was firmly holding her hand the whole time and dragged her away, but there are spaces big enough in the bridge rail that, left on her own, meant she would have succeeded.

I also stress ate a lot today because of Lydia’s harp practice and also chasing the babies. But I have not had sugary desserts for several days now, so that’s a win.

We spent the morning cleaning the house, and then I did the girls’ hair and nails. Actually, I did EVERYONE’s nails, including Ammon and Clarissa’s. After Ammon begged to be included, I gave him rainbow toes. He spent a minute drying and admiring them in front of the fan and then declared he didn’t like it and happily scrubbed it all off.

Clarissa, on the other hand, hogged the station. Once she got her toes done, she declared it was all “MINE,” stationed herself in my lap, and refused to budge. I had to crane my head around her to try to see the other girls’ fingers and toes, and so I was basically painting them half blind. I think everyone had a good time, though.

While Abe worked on the pasta, we watched I Love Lucy with the kids. It was so nostalgic to share that show that Abe and I both watched and loved as kids. When my foot stopped throbbing I helped Abe finish up dinner, and afterward we let the kids watch more I Love Lucy until bedtime.

In the morning I took a picture of Lydia’s hair handiwork from the night before:

When Lydia took out these braided buns, Mary had beautiful curls!

For breakfast we did slappy cakes at home. I am on steroids for my foot and didn’t sleep the night before, so I was a big grouch during this time. But the kids were so sweet and still smiled when I took pictures of them:

In the afternoon we headed to the splash pad for Brinley’s birthday party. Clarissa was still napping at home with my mom so I got to chat with my wonderful neighbors during the party. Emily took this picture:

In the afternoon we picked up Abe from work early (at 4:15) and headed up to the mountains to go fishing as a family. The river was high and fast, so we didn’t catch anything. But it was so fun to be together in the mountains, and we had tons of fun watching all of the people tubing and rafting float by. Also, we were right across from a beaver dam! So we saw the beaver swimming around!!

Then in the evening we ate leftover tacos, corn, and orange melon before heading over to the mall parking lot to watch the Orem fireworks with the Kahlers. They brought all of the kids fire snap thingies and glowsticks, and they had the BEST time playing while we waited for the firework show.

Yesterday I was not in a very productive mood. After reading to Ammon and Clarissa, I retreated while Mary took over and played with them. She is such a sweet sister to Clarissa. She calls her “Clawissy!” and leads her all around the house by the hand, giggling as she takes her up the stairs or to the back yard.

I spent a lot of time reading this article and watching the video in the article. These made me laugh to tears almost every time. Naomi Campbell, a super model, tells all about her tricks for traveling. I just compared her mode of browsing duty free, sanitizing, hydrating, and strolling everywhere in silk pajamas to my harried, crazy attempts to go places with my kids. Ammon is always trying to run away or find the nearest most hazardous thing to do, Clarissa is now trying to follow his example, and the girls love to whine. I am zoned out, snappy, or just harried out of my mind. It is SUCH a contrast to Naomi Campbell!

In the evening we went out to do errands and got started on dinner late. The kids helped press tortillas for the chicken fajitas I made. They loved making tortillas, and Lydia was better at cooking them than I was.

Afterward I let the girls watch my favorite YouTube channel, Cute Girl Hairstyles, and Lydia practiced hairstyles on Mary. I want them to be good at doing hair. I don’t feel good at hair at all and I am 36!!! It feels a little late to learn, but that’s probably not true.

Today the highlight was making spring rolls with the kids. I have decided that until the end of the summer, I should let them help with cooking as much as possible. Spring rolls are so kid friendly, and Eli was over and loved them too. I read them our picture book about Alice Waters while we ate dinner.

Also I spent hours outside with Clarissa in the evening. The weather was perfect. For some of the time I read Melinda Gates’ Lift, but most of the time Clarissa wanted to sing and play. I spent a lot of time just looking at her healthy, happy self and feeling so lucky and blessed.

During Clarissa’s nap the kids played a bunch in the basement and took silly pictures with my phone:

On Sunday I read Erling Kagge’s book, Walking, in the evening while all of the kids played naked in the backyard. Clarissa has a rash and so I stripped her down to help her heal, and then all of the kids wanted to join in. They played for hours.

Abe had a great time at church and told me all about it. He loved all of the great discussion that went on about Paul. I wasn’t in a very great mood and pointed out the irony that these people who are supposedly having beautiful insights into Christianity in Sunday School voted for Trump. That kind of put a damper on the conversation.

In the afternoon Abe left on a work trip, and I fed the kids a really early dinner…(around, er, 3:30 pm). When Abe’s gone, the earlier we get things done, the better!