On Sunday the girls had fun playing with their baby doll and pretending to walk one of their stuffed dogs. They were so cute.

One of Abe’s new friends in the new ward came over with his wife to meet me. It was fun visiting with them. She homeschooled her kids and both of them are so dedicated to their family.

Lydia baked us all cupcakes. She looooooves baking so much and is so good at it.

Then I spent a couple hours reading The Mormon Jesus while the kids played. Abe made spaghetti for all of us, and afterward we watched Helen Keller and Mr. Rogers. Then we did two Cosmic Kids yoga videos as a family. We all had so much fun doing yoga together!

After we put the kids down, Abe and I watched an episode of The Crown and then talked for over an hour. Abe struggled in church on Sunday because they were discussing Pres Nelson’s talk to the women where he tells the women not to ever let anyone to tell them they are anything less than what they they are. In his head, Abe was thinking, “YOU and the very structure of the church is the main messenger of that message to these LDS women. Can’t we please get a shred of introspection in our leadership??”

I was also feeling wistful because that episode of the crown made me wish I had more faith. I have been toying with aetheism lately and feeling more cynical and, honestly, kind of hopeless. The last episode of The Crown featured the awful accident in wales where 116 children were buried alive in coal dust. I cried and just felt so miserable thinking that there is no justice or reparation for all of the senseless misery in the world.

In short, we concluded that maybe we should resolve our problems by changing to the Community of Christ church. Abe would still get the Book of Mormon and restoration tradition, but it would be a healthy church without all of the problems we have in the LDS church. They are transparent about the origin story, the BOM is optional and not literal, women are in leadership, and their values align with our family values. Among their pillars of belief, they include caring for the earth, social justice for the oppressed, historical transparency, radical inclusion, and financial transparency. It’s basically everything we wish the LDS church would be. So we’re going to try out the Provo branch next Sunday and see what we think. I so want my kids to be proud of their religious heritage, but I just can’t imagine how they ever could be when the LDS church is such a morally backward toxic mess. (Also, I don’t feel comfortable letting my girls go to young women. My memory of Young Women was constantly writing lists of what I wanted in a husband and tons of lessons about marriage and motherhood. I just don’t think it is appropriate to be telling twelve year old girls their highest value to society lies in their ability to reproduce.)