Month: May 2020

A lot of new toys came in the mail for Ammon this week. Lily put a ton of thought into things that would excite his imagination and be fun for him so he would spend less time with screens. Here he is enjoying his new toys 🙂

I thought I would include this picture to remind the kids of this fun game they played.

Lily took the kids to Arches today to pick up some end-of-year things for the kids. I assume they were left on the porch of the school since that’s how things have been handed over lately. Ammon seems very happy about an alien he made with play-dough and an alien outline.

Here is Mary fast asleep on the couch.

Here is Ammon having fun with his new spelling toys!

Today Lydia and Clarissa each got a haircut. We’ve been taking the Corona Virus very seriously, but a haircut was long overdue, especially for Clarissa, so Lily took them to cookie-cutters to get their hair cut.

In the car Clarissa played with the iphone camera and took this picture of herself.

At home, Ammon played with the iphone camera and took somewhere around 200 pictures. I kept a few that I thought were worth keeping. Below you will find a picture of a robot. I think Lydia built it out of Ammon’s new toys that Lily ordered to help him have more healthy play and less screen time.

Here is a picture of Ammon’s room.

Here is a picture of the girls playing together (again from Ammon using the camera).

Here are two pictures of Mary (again, Ammon using the camera).

Lily made unbelievably yummy grain-bowls for the family tonight.

After dinner, Ammon put on a show for me of the small good robot fighting the big robot.

The Avengers joined the show, and I made an appearance as a bridge, and also a giant that got involved in all the action.

A big highlight from today was watching Georgia play chase with Clarissa. It was so adorable. Georgia is such a sweet and fun grandmother. Here is a video clip.

I also got this video clip. It didn’t turn out very well because I was a bit late to the scene. Clarissa was in her room singing “Let it Go” and I grabbed by camera to try to capture what I could. It is not uncommon for her to wake up in her room after a night of sleep or a nap and is very good mood and plays, talks to herself or sings. She is such a lovely, happy girl.

The kids were playing with make-up 🙂

Also, I took down the children’s Mother’s day decorations, but I had to get photos before I did.

Below is a sweet Mother’s Day card from my dear Nephew Soren.

At night, Lily and I worked on a puzzle with Lydia. It was so much fun. I love that girl!!!

On Wednesday I did my second 24 hour fast of the week and it felt really good. I also did yoga and biked in the morning, but I didn’t get my heart rate up very high so the exercise didn’t feel masochistic (which was basically how the entire month of April felt).

Mary finished her math class yesterday. I have no words to express how grateful I am that nightmare is over. She got so behind while I was sick and has the attention span of a goldfish, so playing catch up–while also doing eye therapy, piano, and constipation therapy–has been so stressful.

(Actually, I don’t even know why this was so stressful because she spends most of the day with my mom working and coloring, so my mom basically got her caught up. And since her attention span is so short and the Miralax-induced bodily flow leaves her exhausted, we’ve been very easy-going about piano and eye stuff for the past couple weeks too. So again, I remain confused about why the situation felt so stressful. Nevertheless, IT WAS.)

My mom is an angel with Mary, who is a little love sponge and spends almost all of her free time with her very loving Nana. I am so grateful for all my mom does for her. It’s a ton. Thank you, Mom!!

Mary, in turn, is an angel with Clarissa. Clarissa looooooves her–and she has caught on that she can get Mary to do whatever she wants. Lately she has started bossing Mary around a lot. In response, Mary is extremely patient, loving and kind. When I hear them together, I honestly start to worry Clarissa is being spoiled because the minute she whines or says “no,” Mary appeases her in the most soothing, sweet tones. I actually intervened yesterday when Clarissa was being unreasonably demanding. I told her to stop bossing Mary around and told Mary she is allowed to say “no” to Clarissa. Mary said, “It’s fine, Mom. I’m fine.” She appears to not mind being controlled by a toddler. I am wowed by Mary’s loving heart often, but yesterday I was freshly impressed at how easily and generously she gives.

Lydia recreated Rene Magritte’s Son of Man using medical underpads for the blue background.

Lydia also earned a grab bag for running a mile without stopping! Abe ran with her. I am so proud of her!

I had the BEST evening walking around the block and neighborhood with Ammon. We spent an hour just walking and talking. (He did almost all of the talking). At the end we played a little game he made up in front of the house. I am not sure exactly what the game was, but I was supposed to push imaginary buttons that made him run through the sprinkler. It was a gorgeous evening and it was such a delight to just focus on Ammon without distractions. He is the most darling, funny, sweet boy. I love him so much.

After I tucked him in, Abe and I watched our new favorite show, Designated Survivor. It is so, so good.

Also, here is a book Mary made for a belated Mother’s day gift for Suzanne:

On Monday I fasted and it went sooooo fast in the afternoon because Arielle flew in from Missouri and dropped by for a socially distanced visit. It was soooooo fun and wonderful to talk with her. I could talk with her for forever! (And we basically did.) We forgot to take pictures though!

She is also doing a juice fast and is on WEEK FIVE. It was impossible to feel sorry for myself fasting when she is going three months on nothing but juice. Apparently every three months our bodies completely regenerate, so she is regenerating her body on the three month schedule by flooding it with pounds of freshly juiced spinach and kale several times a day. It’s amazing. I am in awe.

Also, Mary made a book for Tom for his birthday. We had to get it digitally before she mailed it off because of how amazingly sweet it was:

It’s a couple weeks later when I write this, so I don’t remember all the details. But today (May 24, 2020), I’m reminded yet again, how much I have to be grateful for in Lily. Not only did she cook all day so our family could truly bliss out at dinner, but she recommended a family movie night watching “Wonder”. It was such a touching movie, and I’m so grateful for a wife who brings such amazing content into our home. She cares so much for me, for her mother, for the children. She told me that Mother’s day was a good day for her. That warms my heart. For all she does, for all she gives, she deserved to have a good day on her special day. Her mother too. Lily is a chip off the old block, and they are both angels in my life.

Mary started off the festivities by making breakfast in bed for Lily. I ate most, if not all, of the bread because Lily is dieting. It was such a sweet gesture!

All in all, the name of the game for Mother’s day was to have Lily exert as little as possible. She spent time in her bedroom rejuvenating while I made breakfast, took care of the kids and got our lunch picnic ready. Here are some scenes from the morning.

Clarissa Gargling

Lydia making mother’s day cookies

Weather was beautiful for a picnic. We had fun cheese, crackers, grapes, turkey sandwhiches, and Lydia’s cookies. We took two picnic baskets. One was full of food. The other was full of nice notes from the children to both Lily and Georgia. I also took some time to read yesterday’s blog post (May 9) to Lily.

Georgia was not feeling well, but she decided to power through to join us for lunch. She is so sweet, and it’s amazing how she is always a light, even when she doesn’t feel well. We love her!!!

After the picnic, Clarissa napped and we did home church.

I made a nice salmon dinner with potatoes and corn for everyone for dinner.

After dinner, I likely (hopefully) gave Lily a massage. It’s two weeks later and the details of the day are fuzzy for me now.

The important thing is that Lily said she had a good Mother’s Day.

I love you sweetheart!!!

I also had the opportunity to talk to Suzanne who has been such a beautiful influence in my life. I wrote her a sincere email the day before, but had the blessing to talk to her on the phone. I also wrote my mother a nice email the day before. I love her so much and we didn’t chat today because she said she was traveling and likely wouldn’t have reception. I also wrote Georgia a nice note. Truly my life has been blessed by amazing women.

With mother’s day coming up, I’ve had my heart-beat Lily, on my mind and on my heart. I even shared a lot about her to my therapist this week.

I reported on the inspiration that Lily had to stop forcing Lydia to do the harp, and to make it entirely up to her to decide if she was going to keep doing it or not. Lily gave Lydia a 100 chart and told her that if she filled it by the end of August (25 or so days off allowed) that we would buy her the next harp she needs and keep paying for lessons. With us making it optional, and not forcing her, Lydia has realized it’s up to her. It has become her decision, and in the process, Lydia has become determined to continue, and she does harp consistently now, with no prodding or heartburn from us.

My therapist commented that 9 is the perfect age to give that kind of autonomy to a child. The strategy would not have worked much earlier, and Lily was so inspired to introduce this dynamic right now. It’s a miracle.

I also told Mary-Lou of the Summer Carnival that Lily created for the kids. Mary Lou enthusiastically told me how incredibly impactful she thought such a reward system would be in my children’s development. I agree and have already seen such beautiful fruits from this system that Lily designed.

Toward the end of the call, I told Mary Lou that the only thing that is really hard right now is my faith and my fear that I will lose it if I dig too deep into alternate ways of thinking, or the thoughts of great thinkers who don’t believe in God. I explained to Mary Lou that I anticipate that I will always choose God, and that I will always choose faith and that I truly feel Lily will stand by and support whatever path of faith I personally feel is right for myself. Mary Lou concluded, “Then you have a good woman.” In her eyes, being able to support someone even if you think differently is one of the highest expressions of love. I couldn’t agree more and I have found that in Lily.

Lily is surrounded by inspiration. When I first met her, I was immediately attracted to her, and very quickly fell in-love. Shortly after meeting her, I went on a run on a day when I felt very depressed, and prayed to God that I would bump into her in order to lift my spirits. I took a different route than usual (off a random impression), and I DID BUMP INTO HER. And I walked her home. My outfit was so ridiculous (a running outfit over longjohn garments on the bottom) that made the occasion doubly memorable for both Lily and myself. I walked her home and talked with her. Like many guys, I felt very nervous about commitment so I found myself pushing her away the more attracted I felt because I wasn’t ready to fall in love and commit. I knew where my heart was headed (falling completely for Lily) and I got scared which is why I started to create distance because it was all happening so fast. Then, I had a dream in which I saw my future with Lily in vision. The specific scene I remember seeing is a home full of love, laughter, hearth, and food, and Lily serving food to family and guests around a table. There was an incredible feeling of love, warmth and hearth. Then I heard the voice of God in my dream, “what could you possibly be holding out for?” The essence from the dream was that Lily would be a source of love, hearth, happiness and warmth in my life and that with her would come connection to other people that would bring me joy (and that could not be more true today). I barely knew Lily at that point, but that dream gave me the courage to let go of my resistance, and let my heart keep falling for her. The inspiration was not just happening on my side. When Lily showed up to a church activity and and played volley-ball with me before we really knew each other, the Spirit told her, “your husband is in this room.”

We got married within 8 months of meeting each other.

Every day, every year since then has been full of life, of love, of wonder, of adventure, of knowledge, of kindness, of compassion, of growth, honestly, of happiness. I told Lily the other day (knowing our ten year anniversary is coming up) that if our next ten years of marriage could just be variations on a theme of how our last ten years went, I would be so so happy.

This entry is already getting too long, but here are a few things I want to mention to you Lily. I know mother’s day often throws women into guilt-complexes of how they should be better, or how their not measuring up compared to others. But my prayer is that you think about the self-compassion lessons we just listened to and that as I, the children, Georgia and others share their gratitude and love with you tomorrow, that you truly listen to what we are saying, that you drink it in, and that you see your own beauty and goodness. I pray that women everywhere will see the good in themselves tomorrow and be open and receptive to the loving words of others, and even to give themselves the gift of loving self-talk.

Lily, you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. My heart-beat, my song, my anchor, my love, my angel, these are names I have for you, and you know, because I use them. I would die without you. You lead me to knowledge, to awakening, to love, to comfort, to fun, to growth, to feeling loved and held. Yesterday when I was starting to panic about a work situation, I came upstairs to eat lunch with you, even though I planned to prepare for a stressful work call during that time. I knew being with you would calm me, just like when I called you right before my promotion interview when I was freaking out. You pour your love and your life into me and our children. You do Shakespeare tea-time with Lydia. You created the Summer Carnival. You’ve done years of music lessons. You read and fill your mind with knowledge and wisdom. You love and support your friends. You seek the divine and share with me what you learn. You love and support me. You write. You organize. You forgive me when I need to be forgiven. You help keep our home a place of beauty. You raise your voice when you see injustice. You encourage compassion and service. You massage your mother’s feet and talk to her at night. You are humble and apologize when you you feel you have done wrong. You are gorgeous beyond compare. You fill our home with good food, with compelling thought, with knowledge, with music, with love. You are literally the perfect woman, and I don’t mean perfect, like you never make a mistake or that you don’t have flaws. I mean perfect like I literally would not change one thing about you, even if I could. I love you that much, and you are that beautiful inside and out. Thank you thank you, thank you for being the mother of my children, and the companion to my soul. 🙂

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As far as other news today, it was a very low key day with Lily and I both feeling very tired. Lydia did bake a cake though. She got through it even after having a melt-down when the chocolate initially didn’t mix into the batter like she hoped because it had cooled down. This video also shows me not being as patient as I could have been.

Here are some of the decorations for mother’s day. I’m not quite sure if Lydia or Mary or both did this. I love those sweet children!