Today I told Lily I would need to work late in order to catch up on all that had accumulated at work while I was out. Fortunately, I didn’t get hit with too much so I was grateful that one day of working late would get me back to a good spot. My boss and my team really stepped up and handled things well while I was out, so that really helped.
After a couple meetings in the morning, we had a team lunch at Bok Bok. During the team lunch, we had a very engaging dialogue about racial issues. We had a diversity of opinions, but it felt refreshing to all of us to have a safe space to share, explore and listen. Qualtrics is 100% all-in on anti-racism, and it has caused some conservatives on my team to feel culturally unsafe in their political views. They believe in racial equality, but have some different ideas about how to approach the problem of racial injustice. I was grateful to share my feelings about the need for affirmative action and the need to make reparations for past wrongs that have caused current inequalities, as well as my belief that individuals and policy makers are missing a huge opportunity if we don’t take this national moment seriously to learn and make changes. Next year at this time, there may be a new national topic, and the opportunity will not be as present to really focus on this important topic and make lasting change. I received positive feedback after the lunch. It seems like it is getting harder and harder, even at Qualtrics, for people to feel like there is a safe space for dialogue. Being overly forceful about anti-racism can shut down thoughtful conservatives and make them defensive, frustrated and angry causing further division, and yet, there does seem to be a need to take an ultra firm stance among those committed to anti-racism. It is important tension to explore and one that has been on my mind for a while.
I worked more and then talked Lily for a while about the lunch I had. What ensued was one of my favorite conversations I’ve had all year. So many times I feel like Lily is my teacher. Lily gave me some food for thought on why Qualtrics’ forceful stance might be appropriate even though it might cause conservatives to be feel left out or alienated. Two of her main points were that white conservatives typically have the voice in our society. Now is a moment for white conservatives to pass the microphone and listen. That is what this moment is about. Second, she brought up the fact that to white conservatives, discussing racism is usually very abstract and ideological. But to a Black person right now, the topic is personal, visceral, traumatic, and painful. Whites feeling the need to express themselves right now (often to protect their own feelings about themselves) can re-traumatize Black people who are already wounded from personal experiences of racism, recent publicized atrocities that hit very close to home for them, and white insensitivity. Now is a time for sensitivity and listening all-around, but especially for whites towards blacks.
I loved Lily’s points and I also drafted an email to our head of HR to help get more coaching on the topic. This is new terrain for me. I want to be fully anti racist and I also want to have a process about it that invites discourse and feels loving and inclusive towards people of all views. I’m not sure if that is fully possible, but I’m excited to learn more on the topic.
I worked until 12:30 getting all caught up at work.
Georgia still seems to be liking her new place fine. She still struggles with episodes and exhaustion, but she is well taken care of.