Last night Lily and I got to bed fairly late, but then had pillow talk until 12:45. We talked a lot about how self-efficacy leads to self-esteem, how we each struggle sometimes with insecurity and jealousy comparing ourselves to people we know, and setbacks we’ve had and the value we have found in them. Then I had trouble sleeping in part because of my diet (sometimes happens now that I don’t snack, and fast every Sunday). I started to doze around 1:00 and then I was awakened by Lydia who woke up in the night and couldn’t get back to sleep. As has been happening lately, she was crying and stressing out that she would not be able to fall asleep. I let her in our bed and tried to calm her down and talk to her to help. I was deliriously tired, and when she was still crying on and off 20 minutes later, I told her she needed to leave my bed and figure it out on her own otherwise I would not be functional the next day. I felt bad for doing that, but she left my bed, and read until she was tired enough to fall asleep again.
I was actually fairly zombie like today. All of the effort of the past weeks combined with imperfect sleep have really taken a toll. I felt extremely tired all day. Lily was tired as well, but the pace of today was perfect for how tired we were feeling. We got some things done, but mostly recovered from our exhaustion.
As has been typical lately (and for a large portion of our marriage), Lily got out of bed and started taking care of the kids while I struggled to roll my bones out of bed. By around 9:00, I had showered, meditated and joined the action to try and contribute.
Ammon immediately asked me to play, which is something he’s been wanting and it’s something I promised him so I played with him for 40 minutes or so. I hope I was fun given my fatigue.
Lily was super productive in the morning and mopped the floors which seriously needed it. I also cleaned the basement bathroom floor, which mostly needed it because our trash can shattered when I tried lifting it last week and it left spiky shards on the floor, one of which cut Lily’s foot.
After playing with the kids, I sat with Lily for a bit and then made lunch for the kids. I get a lot of joy out of making them lunches that are fun for them to eat, even if they were ridiculously easy to make.
After lunch I wrote in my Jesus journal, wrote in my Prison to Playground book and played with Clarissa.
I also donated to NAACP Defense fund for the family (Ryan Smith, Qualtrics’ CEO is matching) and read more in How to be an Anti-Racist. Then I had home church with the kids. The lesson was a reading of Genesis 1. We had a very interesting discussion about God, religion and science. Since I’m at a stage when I don’t feel I know most of the answers to things, I find it fun to engage in discussion with my bright and thinking children.
After home church, I helped clean the basement, including a lot of Lydia’s mess that she has created from her slime experiments (Mary and Lydia helped clean to). Then Lily and I tidied the main floor just in time for my parents to arrive.
While they were here, Clarissa opened some more of her presents which included an owl backpack and suitcase Lily bought. Lydia did an amazing job wrapping the big suitcase gift. Also my dad and Suzanne got her a stuffed panda and a Melissa and Doug magnet toy. That was so nice of them!
We then had Pizza and salad from Medici while watching the first ever I Love Lucy episode when Lucy and Ethel pretend to be dates for their husbands (long story) and dress up as ugly hags to get back at them for getting dates. It was hilarious!
After dinner we sang to Clarissa again and had ice cream cake.
Then we played Apples to Apples and GoFish. Lily was so sweet and took the youngest two kids around the block walking and bathed them so the rest of us could enjoy the games more. I had so much fun playing even though I was tired. Lily also got all the kids ready for bed and put them down while I finished visiting with my parents. Especially given how tired I was, I feel so grateful for all of Lily’s work tonight. She’s the best!
We had so much fun with my dad and Suzanne. When things wrapped up, I decompressed over some guitar, did the budget and blogged. Now it’s off to the races tomorrow!