Sunday morning Lily and I woke up feeling much better because we rested more than the previous night. We had tucked the kids in at a reasonable time and played Redwall until everyone fell asleep.
We had frosted mini-wheats, eggs, orange juice, yogurt and chocolate granola for breakfast.
Ammon was the last to get up, and Lily and I thought it was so funny how he was sleeping in his bag.
We then went to the visitor’s center at Canyonlands to gat our passport stamped, and then we went and hiked the Mesa Arch trail.
We were trying to make good time, because we needed to be to the dog boarding place by 2PM in order to pick up Basil. So we hustled on the hike, but still got to catch some incredible scenery and take some great photos.
Even though we were in a bit of a rush, I let Clarissa climb into this hole. When she saw it, she kept asking to go to the hole, so I let her do it because I thought it would make her happy. I think it did!
On the way home, we listened to more Redwall. Lily and I marveled at how well written it is and what an enjoyable book it is.
Lily caught some of the beautiful scenery in Spanish Fork Canyon on the drive home (while listening to Redwall I suspect)
Once in Orem, we picked up Basil. Then we went home, cleaned out the car, had the kids bathe, and we bathed Basil. Then I vacuumed the car, and picked up salmon and made salmon, pineapple, roast veggies and rice for dinner. Mary cooked the roast veggies! Everything turned out really well. I really like that combination of food, A LOT. We also gave Basil some salmon and he went totally crazy for it.
After cleaning up dinner, Lily and walked Basil and I worked on my leash work with him.
I think showered and got clean and in my PJs. I intended to work (because I’m behind), but I was so tired that I blogged instead and Lily gave me a massage. What a wonderful weekend!
Today Lily and I woke up exhausted because of our short night of rest. For breakfast, I made eggs, hashbrowns, pancakes, oranges and orange juice for everyone. I forgot syrup for the pancakes and ketchup for the hashbrowns, but I think it still turned out to be yummy.
Then we headed out for our outings. In the car, Lydia took a picture of this cheez-it. She recently announced that she absolutely loves cheez-its so we have been buying them more. I’m so glad she had cheez-its on this trip. We accidentally didn’t pack her suitcase, and at first she was super distressed about it, so I’m grateful for every pleasure and comfort she did have on this trip.
Our first stop was Skyline arch. Clarissa was asleep in the car, so Lily stayed back with her while I took the kids. It was cold, around 40 degrees, but it was still really fun, and the scenery was gorgeous!
We then drove to Broken Arch. I should mention that like yesterday, today we also thoroughly enjoyed listening to Redwall in the car. Broken arch was perfectly sized hike, about 25 minutes each way. Lily suggested it and it turned out to be one of my favorite hikes I have ever done at arches. It was flat, and peaceful and still surrounded by magnificent rock features.
On the way back from broken arch, we branched off the trail to go to Sand Dune Arch. It had incredible rock features and a lot of beautiful smooth sand. Mary and Clarissa lingered with me to play while the others went to the car, but it eventually got very cold and windy and we didn’t stay super long. I didn’t get a picture of the actual Sand Dune Arch, but I got two cute videos of Clarissa and Ammon playing in the sand!
After Arches, we went to our favorite Moab restaurant, Pasta Jays. I’m pretty sure we have gone 3 times in the last six months. Mary especially loves it, which is especially adorable, because she orders the simplest thing on their menu (I believe it is just pasta with some butter or oil on it, no sauce). But Mary looooves Pasta Jays (as does everyone else). On the way in, she said to me, “Dad, why don’t we go to Pasta Jays more?” I said, “It’s a three hour drive.” To which she responded, “It’s worth it!”.
After Pasta Jays, we drove to the Island in the Sky part of Canyonlands and Lydia, Lily and I saw the grand view. The other three kids didn’t see the view. You’ll see why as you scroll down the pictures.
Such an incredible view!!I love this picture of my sweet Lydia!
We then drove to the Yurt, and while Ammon and Clarissa entertained themselves with a phone, Lily, Lydia, Mary and I played Taco, Cat, Goat, Cheese, Pizza. I was deliriously tired, but still I had quite a lot of fun with my wonderful family. Lily and I loved watching Lydia and Mary have so much fun and laugh so much as we played. Our girls are so fun!
Lily and I slept incredibly soundly and woke up much refreshed in the morning.
I had a very busy day at work and unfortunately did not finish everything. But I pulled away from work around 5PM and we all finished getting ready and loaded, dropped Basil off to be boarded, got dinner and bought some groceries for the trip and we were on our way probably a little after 7:00.
The way down was really fun because we listened to an incredibly engaging reading of Redwall by Brian Jacques. Lily and I were especially impressed with the book (the kids were either too young or distracted or sleeping for a lot of it.)
We pulled in to our yurt at dead horse point between 10 and 10:30. Clarissa had been sleeping in the car, so when she woke up in transition to the yurt, she had energy to stay up for a very long time. Lily and I were up quite late due to Clarissa talking before she finally drifted off. We woke up quite tired on Saturday.
After work, I went to obedience training with Lydia and Basil. Almost every other dog their was some kind of a doodle. There was also a Rodizian Ridgback, an Australian shepherd, and a few others that Lydia could name I am sure. Lydia is obsessed with dogs, just like Lily, and she had so much fun being there and seeing all of the different breeds.
First we practiced come, sit, lie down (stupify for Basil), and stay. After that there was socialization time. All the humans walked counter-clockwise in a circle ignoring the dogs and the dogs just got to know each other. Basil was a little shy, but not bad. He interacted with a lot of other dogs and at one point got in trouble for overly sniffing another dog. The poor australian shepherd was terrified and went to a corning and stuck there looking scared.
After socialization time, we practiced leash training. This built on the technique I had been practicing already. The trainer affirmed the method I was using of letting Basil run into pressure on the leash anytime he went in a direction that wasn’t correct and three new great things. 1) Use a slip collar so the pressure is more uncomfortable (under the ears and twist the leash over the nose as well). 2) Apply light pressure also when Basil is refusing to move, not just when he’s moving in the wrong direction. 3) Expect Basil to walk at my side and allow him to run into pressure if he starts to pull ahead (I used to start running with him when he started going faster than I was walking). It was super instructive. I bought two slip leashes on my way out. It is now Sunday, and I still haven’t been able to buy those leashes I bought, so I’m wondering if they ever made it home.
Basil was perfect in class. He really is a wonderful wonderful dog. Lily did such a great job searching and searching until she found the right one.
When we got home, Lydia was over the moon, and recited and reenacted over and over different things that happened at obedience class to Lily. It was adorable to see her so excited!
I know I touched on walking Basil yesterday, but I just have to write more because of how funny it is.
The girls tried to walk Basil today, and the only way they got him around the block was to carry him to the half-way point (because he refused to budge the first half of the walk), and then let him down at the half way point, at which point he would hurry home.
It appears that Basil really loves our home. When I took him out for a walk, it took a fully ten to fifteen minutes just to get him three houses away from our house. He just sat and whined and kept trying to go back home. I diligently let the leash restrain him if he tried to go any direction, but forward and eventually he would always make progress, but sometimes it was after minutes of sitting, whining and trying to go in the other direction. After getting a few houses away, it seemed to click for him that the fastest way home was forward, so he literally ran the entire way around the block once he gave up trying to get me to go back.
The second time around the block went even better. It still took almost ten minutes to get him past our house and our neighbor’s house (the Leavitt’s home), but then he gave up resistance and started his running a full house earlier than on the first lap. Again, he ran around the whole block and was relieved to make it home. He is so funny and silly. It’s so cute how much he just whines and tries to resist any time we try to take him in a direction away from our home. I’m glad he feels happy and safe in our home. We love you Basil!
Also, Basil had a playdate yesterday with Ellie, the Kahler’s dog. I was working, but I’m sure everyone had a really fun time. Emily took some amazing photos and a video that she shared with us:
Today was a good and also very heavy day from work. I had an opening just before 11:00 and I came up for an early lunch. I was delighted to see Lily and the girls having tea time together using this beautiful glass teapot:
Sadly, Clarissa broke this pot just before dinner so it really had only one good use (that I’m aware of), but it was a sweet tea-time moment that I got to witness
Towards the end of my work-day, I talked to Derek, the new employee we are hiring for my team. I interviewed him and loved him a few weeks ago, and today was more of a congratulations and orientation call. I’m excited to have him on my team! His start date is the 22nd of March.
After work, I was feeling super tired, and was thrilled to eat the Thai food that Lily ordered. I’ve discovered the non-creamy curries and they are so so so good (I love cream-based curries too).
After dinner, I took Ammon to the Toyota dealership to try to sell the Carolla (193,110 miles on it). I’m so sentimental, that I have a hard time selling things, but Georgia is letting us use her Subaru now, so I guess there isn’t much need for the Carolla. The dealership said there is not enough demand right now in the used car market and they really don’t have a desire to buy a car with that many miles on it. They said maybe they’d give $1,000, but they really weren’t even interested in buying it and they suggested I list it on KSL.com where I could get $2,000 or $2,500 for it. Either way, that was over a phone call because the used car manager was not at the dealership at the time, and they weren’t interested in scheduling a follow-up appointment, so we drove home.
At home we put the kids down and then Lily and I walked her resignation letter to the Bishop. Lily has tried resigning before, but the request or requests didn’t go through for some reason. The Bishop was friendly and kind as was Lily. It’s really need to see the persistence of warm interpersonal relationships transcending labels or designations of religion. Lily has been tremendously hurt (and blessed) by the church, and she has a lot of anger and hurt surrounding the institution of the church, but people are just people at the end of the day whether or not they are part of certain institutions and it was nice to just feel like we were relating to each other as humans. I read Lily’s resignation letter and there is a spirit of clarity, processing and strength in it. I like the end where Lily articulates that for her whole life, the question of whether or not the church is true has been a focal point that her life has revolved around, and she’s hoping her resignation can help her to emotionally move on from that web she still feels caught in. She is also resigning so she can put her name down to support a lawsuit against the church regarding the church misleading people with regards to tithing.
Lily, I love you, I’m proud of you for your courage to study, research and think so thoroughly, to choose your path according to your morality and judgement even when it’s different than what so many around you are doing, and for your constant efforts to love and affirm others who have chosen to stay in the church. It is a difficult, trauma-laden path you are on, but you are walking it with courage, strength, love and constant progress. I.Love.You. Your letter was beautiful, and I hope you decide to put it on the blog so that we can remember, and your posterity can know the reasons behind such a big decision for you. Lily was worried it was too angry sounding, but the reality is that Lily is angry and hurt and those are just the feelings she is processing right now. She also included a large section in her letter about the blessings and benefits she has received from the church. It is truly complicated and right now she is in the middle of her grieving, feelings of betrayal and otherness/separation, so those feelings are the closest to the surface right now. I believe she couldn’t be authentic, nor could the church know how she’s been affected without those sentiments being displayed.
After the visit to the Bishop, we walked Basil around the block. We were having extreme difficulties because Basil really likes our home, it seems. He never wants to leave. He will sit in our yard, and we can tug and tug the leash and he will just sit there. Earlier today, he just sat there until he started gagging from from me yanking on the leash and then I gave up and just carried him because I didn’t want to hurt him. The hilarious thing is that once we get half-way around the block, he seems to realize that walking is now taking him closer to home and not farther away, and so he really starts to walk and even run after that halfway point.
Tonight when walking him with Lily, Basil was up to his antics again of refusing to move. It has been a recurring problem, not just today. He’s perfect at everything except that he.wont.walk. Tonight I remembered a horse trainer video that my dad showed me a long long time ago when I was growing up. This trainer took a horse that absolutely refused to go in the horse trailer no matter how hard he was pulled. The horse trainer took that horse and simply held the reigns so that the horse was preventing from going in any direction except for the horse trailer. The horse realized it couldn’t go to the side, or to the other side, or backwards, so then on its own, without being pulled, it decided to go in the one direction where it was able to walk, and it went right into the horse trailer.
I tried the same thing with Basil. Instead of tugging the leash and trying to pull him, I prevented him from going backwards, to one side or to the other. Whenever he took a step or more forward, Lily and I would praise him and repeat the process. When he was near our house, progress was very slow, but I made it clear that I would wait forever, and if Basil wanted to move or have anything change, he would need to walk in my direction. Once our home was out of view, he really walked a lot, and again, once we got to the half-way point, he ran the rest of the way home, hahah. It seems he really likes our home. We made it two times around the house. I love that dog!
I took the day off of work today, which was amazing. I was going to downhill ski, but I was so physically tired from sledding, snowshoeing and cross-country skiing that I decided to skip skiing. This worked out well because Lily was exhausted, and was able to go swimming and have a nice long bath. She deserved it, especially since she took on the kids while I cross-country skied on Saturday.
It was really fun being domestic today. I did a lot of cleaning, fed the kids lunch, did work on the taxes, and did the budget etc.
Around 3:30, we took Lydia and Mary to ski school. Lily and I were a little worried about how it would go because both of the girls are pretty timid and risk averse when it comes to physical activities, but when they finished, they both came back to the care beaming about how great it was and how they want to do it so much more. I have to hand it to Lily to making ski school happen. I was hung up on the cost, the effort, the extra stuff in the schedule, but I’m so so so so glad Lily pushed for it. We get discounted passes through Qualtrics and discounted lessons and rental through their school program, and it’s such a great opportunity to learn a skill and have experiences so unique to living in Utah. Good going Lily and good going girls for being such great sports and diving into learning a new sport, especially one that can be a bit scary! One of them said it was even better than snowshoeing or sledding! Here are a couple of pictures and a video.
Today the day started slowly. I slept in while Lily helped run the house in the morning (thank you Lily!). At 9:30 the kids did their church session and then Lily and I had our church. After church, I saw Clarissa dressed in this adorable outfit telling Lily what keys to press on her computer by pointing with a wand.
We then got everyone in their snow gear and headed to Salt Lake City. We first met Laura from the Community of Christ to get our Lent packets and then we went to Churchill Junior High School (Dad and Suzanne’s amazing recommendation) for sledding. This is the first time as a family we’ve done serious sledding and it was so so so so fun. The first sledding spot was hard to get to because the top of the hill was slanted and right next to a fence, so we had to grab the fence and hold on as we walked to the spot where we wanted to sled. But once we got there, everything was perfect. The hill was the perfect size to be super fun, but not too steep for the kids. It was such a good time!
Basil had fun watching us!Lydia said her favorite part of sledding was having Basil there at the end when she finished a run.At the end we found another great hill that was much easier to navigate, and it (like the last spot) also had an incredible view.
After we loaded everyone into the car, I ran back to the hills and did three big runs on my own. It was super intense and I was careful not to go over any jumps because I got going really, really fast.
After sledding, we went to David and Olivia’s house to see them and so Basil could socialize with Walter and Willow. Willow loves to play and was so excited to play-fight with Basil. She kept lunging him, poking him, chasing him etc, and Basil would just run away and hide. Willow was so eager to play that a few times she had to be picked up or have her attention diverted to give Basil a break. Lily and I were both a little bit concerned that this was not a good experience for Basil, and then the magic happened. Something clicked and Basil came into his own. He started barking, pawing back, and really getting into it. After another five minutes, he was chasing Willow and dishing her everything she had been dishing him. His tail was wagging and they played for a solid 15 – 20 minutes. They looked like they were having so much fun, and it was very very entertaining to watch. Here are two videos after the pictures.
After that super-fun play-date, we visited my dad and Suzanne briefly to show them the new puppy which was super fun as always. As a bonus, I got to see Ed on his way out. Ed is great, and I hope to call him soon as I miss seeing more.
Then we all got pizza, dropped some pizza off to Tess, one of Lily’s Thrive friends who is moving to Florida tomorrow, and then dropped some pizza off to our renters, one of whom we just learn was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Both pizza deliveries were Lily’s idea and I love her wonderful heart.
Then we went home and had the best time hanging out with Jess (from Lily’s Thrive group) and her daughter Lynlee. We talked, played Otrio together and caught up on life. Mary showed Lynlee her art and her desk and really loved spending time with her. Lydia was the one who suggested Otrio. Jess is so fun to hang out with and we had a really good time, and her daughter Lynlee was also very delightful. The time flew by and when the visit came to an end, we said our goodbyes.
What a fun, fun fun Sunday.
At night when I tucked the girls in to bed, Mary told me she’d been thinking about what Ammon said earlier. Ammon was talking about death. He was really impacted by a movie he saw a couple months ago about mushrooms that showed a rat decaying and turning into dirt and mushrooms and talks a lot now about how he doesn’t want to turn to earth.
Mary said, “Dad, when are you going to die?” I told her, “Mary, you have a long, long time before that happens. Bappa has 30 more years to live and I have 30 more years to live after he dies. Mary, it will be so long from now. It will be 3,000 weeks or like 20,000 days! That is like counting to one-hundred, two-hundred times. It’s a long long time away. And when the time comes for me to go, you will be ready to let me go.” It was clear she didn’t want me to die, and then she gave me a very long (perhaps a full 10 seconds) hug. It was a very sweet and very tender moment.
Mary, just a few thoughts to add. I will always be your dad. I will always love you. Even after I die, I will live on. You can read this blog and remember our times together. There will be many ways to remember me. And you can always know, that one of the things that always makes me happiest is to know that you are finding happiness, and making the world around you happier. I love you to the ends of the earth. Death is a part of life and love is eternal and we will always always always have that bond. I will always be your dad. And you will always be my girl. You fill me with so much joy, happiness and wonder. We have so so so so much more to experience together before we need to worry about being apart. If we truly live out our relationship the best we can, we will feel like we did it fully, and it will feel ok when it is time for me to go. So yes, on with the skiing, the backpacking, the projects to work on together, the recitals for me to attend, the trips to go on, the fishing, the biking and on and on and on. We will do it all, and know we did it well and feel satisfied and ready when I have to go. I love you. I love you. I love you!
I’ve been really excited about planning out weekends recently, and I planned this weekend to be the weekend of snow.
Today started with a snowshow trip with the whole family. We left Basil crated at home because dogs were not allowed on the trail. Poor Lydia felt sick from the windy car ride at first, but we insisted she keep walking because it was expensive and a huge todo to get us all on the trail. For the most part, the other kids started out strong, but within 15-20 minutes the kids were waning. See pictures and video below:
I was making Oregon trail analogies in this video because it seemed like people were dying by the trail-side.
After another 5-10 minutes kids were melting down about how difficult the snowshoeing was, and Lily and I talked sternly with the kids about the need to have some level of grit and pain tolerance. At one point Lydia and Mary were at or near tears. We took a break, threw some snowballs for fun, and talked about having a positive mindset. Then, everyone, turned it around. Clarissa fell asleep on my shoulders (which was fine because at least she wasn’t slowing us down), and Ammon, Mary and Lydia all walked back with no whining, complaining or issues that I remember. I think I even heard Lydia suggest to Mary to talk through their stuffed animal imagination game together. Lily and I gave them a lot of praise for fixing their mindset and being so great on the way back. Here is a video and some pictures of the home stretch:
Happy faces on the home stretch. I’m so proud of them!Here is Clarissa asleep on my shoulders close to the end.We had to set Clarissa in the snow while returning show-shoes and loading the car
It was a bit intense handling all the kids on the trail, especially when people were melting down, but I still had an amazing time, and the forest was so pretty. I also think it was very very good for the kids, especially since it’s just harder to get outside during Covid in the winter.
Lily then took the kids home while I stayed at the Nordic Center to ski with my friend Daniel Olsen. Daniel purchased a ski lesson for me for my birthday (for Cross-country skiing) and then we planned to ski together after the lesson. Lily was so kind to take care of the kids so I could stay up in the mountains and ski with my good friend Daniel.
I started the ski lesson right after we loaded the kids in the car after snow-shoeing. The lesson was so helpful. I learned the following important things about cross country skiing.
Poles should mostly drag behind you (gripped loosely) until it is time for them to bite (catch the snow) and help you balance and push forward.
You want to glide with each foot stroke
Make sure you have all your weight on the leg that is pushing so you can actually grip the snow down and move forward. Even better if you can push down and back at the same time to help you grip the snow when you push off of your gripping foot.
Look ahead. If you look down, it will mess up your posture.
Keep ankles and knees bent and loose. If you straighten your ankles, you will fall. Act like a slouchy teenager if you need help getting the hang of the right relaxed posture.
The motion is a lot like jogging, foot to foot.
And Daniel taught me when turning to look where I want to turn and that will help me to turn my body.
After the lesson, I skied with Daniel, and I had the most incredible time. I accidentally left my gloves in the car, but it didn’t matter because of how warm it was. The weather was incredible, the views were amazing, and I was really getting the hang of gliding. I loved going up hills and letting my arms kick in to save me and help me to keep going up-hill and not downhill. It was such an incredible cardiovascular workout. And I loved the company. Daniel is such a good friend and I’m so grateful for his gift of the lesson and the fact that we got to ski together!!
Back at home, Lily and I walked Basil with Ammon and Mary. I think they really enjoyed holding Basil’s leash!
Another thing I want to mention is that Lily has been very diligent about Mary’s music practice and also helping Ammon with his reading lessons. Mary learned a whole piece this week, and Ammon is really progressing in his reading. Also, Lydia has been a star about making sure her harp gets done 5 days a week. They are all doing such great work!
I love our new dog! Thank you Lily for researching and picking such a great one, and thank you God for putting the perfect dog for us in our life at a time when it’s so hard to find a dog with all the demand for dogs during Covid!
After work today, we all went as a family to Chase Bank so I could run in and open a business checking account for me and Lily. I think it was today Lily and I learned our renter was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis which was so sad, especially because she is so sweet and very young. As a result, she and her roommates will be moving out, so Lily and I have decided to sell the house when it comes time. After opening our business checking account, I called my mom for tax advice about rental properties and how to use our business bank account.
Then we all went to sushi burrito for dinner. It was delicious!
After the kids went down, I was up until 2:30 during work, which was painful, but I felt so blessed to get it all done.
