Month: January 2023

Abe and the girls went skiing on Monday as they usually do. It was the coldest day but they still had a lot of fun. They took the following pictures:

At home I worked with Ammon and Clarissa on their reading, Ammon’s music, and Ammon’s homework.

Abe and the kids spent hours playing together. I think it was some sort of Zombie game? The eye things remind me of Game of Thrones, but the kids have definitely not seen GoT so I don’t exactly know what they are.

Abe had plans to go see Nick and his grandma after church in Salt Lake, and we got 10 minutes away from Nick but started getting nervous about the roads. Ever since our scare in November winter driving is very stressful for us, and neither Abe nor I feel very confident that we are judging the safety of the road well. So we had the biggest fight we’ve had in a year about the roads, turned around, and drove two hours home. I spent the rest of the day napping and then went to bed at 8pm. (I think I might have been fighting off some sort of virus that Mary and Clarissa came down with too.)

Note from Abe about the game he played with the kids:

We used the fort the kids built to pretend like we were a family that all lived in the woods together. We did different activities, like fishing, eating the fish, and hunting elk. In the elk hunting game, the kids all got toy hunting weapons, and I was the elk. They would need to hit me with the toy weapon without me seeing them. If I saw them, they would need to count to five, frozen, while I ran away. They each got a chance to kill one elk. Then, they pretended to be the dead elk (Lydia made the theatrical paper eye covers), and I carried them to Lydia’s room over my shoulder one by one. Then we roasted each elk (kid) over a fire (garbage can). It was a super fun time.

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Abe!!!

I am grateful every single day that I am married to this man! That is not an exaggeration– I wake up every day still a little in disbelief that I somehow snagged Abe. Abe is patient, kind, wise beyond belief, and deeply service oriented. I admire his work ethic, his self-control, his love of doing good, and the way he cherishes his family. So, to be specific, here are some of the most recent things Abe has done that blow me away.

1. He genuinely, from his heart, enjoys playing with our children. Recently he has played a lot of legos with Ammon and they create the most imaginative scenarios and creations together. Afterward Abe will rave about how much fun he had, and how legos give him a chance to be a kid again. He also plays dolls with all the kids and makes everyone laugh so hard with his voices and scenarios! He also recently spent hours building a fort and throwing snowballs with the kids, played a chase game that had everyone in giggle fits, played all sorts of board games with the kids, and of course sledded and skied with our children–all in the past month alone. Because of Abe’s playful nature, all of these activities delight him and make him so happy. I love that he models such a healthy masculinity that embraces play with our children.
2. Abe is our resident adult. When I go off the handle our children will tearfully appeal to Abe for his intervention. He is tender-hearted, wise, and kind to the bone. I recall both Mary and me coming to him simultaneously after a recent piano practice begging for his help. Both of us understood that the only person who could fix our situation was Abe, and fix it he did. He listened carefully and compassionately. And then he calmly took the temperature down and suggested solutions that immediately helped get us back on track. I am so, so grateful to parent with Abe.
3. Abe works so hard. Abe just transitioned roles, and the new pace is very intense. He has a $10 million dollar quota, and he is expected to hit that in a down economy. He has to learn all new accounts and get to know all of his reps, and he has to immediately start creating a healthy and productive team culture. Luckily, Abe is incredibly dedicated, talented, brilliant, courteous and hard working–as everyone who has ever worked with him can attest. He is going to do an incredible job this year, and he is putting in everything he’s got to be an asset for his company. Abe loves to work and would work all the time if he didn’t also have a family. He puts in long hours and I am always in awe of his work ethic.
4. Abe gets along with everyone. I am grateful that Abe gets along with literally everyone, because that is not something I always do well. I admire how he gives everyone in his life the benefit of the doubt. He has a generous nature and is the hardest person on earth to offend. In the same vein, he forgives easily and immediately. Abe puts a lot of effort into his relationships, and I appreciate that he is deeply embedded in so many loving networks. He meets regularly on Zoom with his AXB friends, all of whom date back to college and some as far back as kindergarten. He also keeps in touch with many of his high school friends, and he puts a lot of effort into doing activities with the friends who live close to us now. He skies, fishes, plays frisbee, bikes, plays Pickleball, plays games, and goes out for meals with friends. He shows up when they invite him to things. He makes a point to regularly call his friends and family on the phone just to catch up, and when he has friends who struggles he is there for them no matter what. Abe shines in all of his relationships, and no one could ask for a better friend than Abe.
5. Abe treats me like I am a queen. I know that sounds like a very dated cliche, but there’s actually no more accurate way to describe his approach to me. And it goes without saying that I do not deserve the way he views and treats me, but wow am I grateful every day for his love. He is the most loving, generous, warm, affectionate husband. He makes me laugh every single day, and he also compliments me generously every single day. The narrative he spins about me to me is completely the opposite narrative I spin for myself, so sometimes it’s a bit of a mind bend living with someone who views me so positively, but it’s also incredibly nice. Being married to Abe is the greatest, and I believe from my heart that if every person treated their partner the way Abe treats me, there would basically be no more problems left in the world.

I was so excited that so many of our friends and family could come together to celebrate Abe and show him how much we love and value him. Abe spent a lot of his birthday party teaching various kids how to ice fish and visiting with friends and family, of course. It was so fun and we both had an amazing time. Abe also wants me to note that they caught 37 fish! (J/k. They didn’t catch any, but did that discourage my positive, optimistic husband? Not a chance!)

Here are more of Abe’s gifts from the kids:

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Today, Lily introduced me to one of my all-time favorite classical music pieces. I didn’t even know what it was before today, although I had heard bits and pieces of it before because it is so famous. We almost didn’t drive to Salt Lake tonight, but when the roads looked good, we ended up going. Eli babysat Ammon and Clarissa, and Lily and I took Lydia and Mary to the Utah Symphony.

Orff is not famous for any other music (although he’s famous for his methods of educating children and his methods are still used today), but when he wrote Carmmina Burana, he knew it was a masterpiece, and it was immediately successful.

The text for Carmina Burana comes from a collection of poems and songs called Carmina Burana made by traveling poets and students of Catholicism. The poems are irreverent, mock the church, and discuss the absurdity of life, the pleasures of life, and mostly the terror of decline, poverty and aging especially after one has experienced the good things of life “Oh Fortuna!”

When Orff chanced upon the manuscript, he said a vision opened up into his mind, and he frantically pieced it together as he felt inspiration was pouring down upon him and he had the whole thing unfold to him.

The words are so powerful, and the music was deeply cathartic. Through the music, I felt my own fear of death and failure expressed, my own joy for the good times expressed, as well as good old-fashioned humor (including a goose singing about its terrible fortune as it’s getting roasted and tuba flatulence). I was completely mesmerized and I’ve downloaded it on iTunes, and I’ve been listening to it ever since. Lily, of course, knew what Carmina Burana is, and was eager to share it with the family. One of my favorite things about Lily is her knowledge of the world and the way she opens my eyes to it and adds color and richness to my world. It was also so fun to share the experience with Lydia and Mary. What an amazing evening!

Lydia has had a substitute teacher the last couple of days and Lily has kept her home and gone all-in on tutoring her. They have worked on Greek, Latin, rhetoric, Shakespeare and more. Lydia has been a sharp and interested student, and I could tell they loved their time together. I think this deep time together has been a highlight in both of their weeks.

In the evening, Lily served delicious spoon beef, orzo, and acorn squash. It was so delicious and I felt extremely tired afterwards and Lily did most of the work cleaning up and putting the kids down (thank you so much babe). Lily and I played Azule and San Juan after the kids down, which continues to be such a fun way to end the day. Time with Lily and the kids really is my warmth right now as I feel a bit overwhelmed starting out in my new Healthcare role.

Today while the kids were at school, Lily cleaned the house and then spent a couple of hours writing an amazing story about a Neanderthal. I read the whole thing and was pulled in by the amazing imagery, narrative arc, action and interconnectedness. Writing was very satisfying for her, and I can tell it made her happy. She’s so good at it and I hope she keeps going with it!

I got off work early to pick up Lydia and Mary and take them to ski school. I also picked up lunch for us at Kneaders, and got skis for myself so I could ski while they were in their lesson. It was VERY COLD. So cold that much of Lydia’s class left early, and by the end, Lydia was getting one-on-one instruction from her instructor. Lydia felt like she really improved. Mary also had a great time and felt like she got better just by spending more time on the snow. I also progressed and really enjoyed the Black Diamond Run Top Gun. It was so fun to do three times down the mountain with them after their lesson. It got really cold, but the hand-warmers helped. Most of the night was between 10-15 degrees.

On the way home, we played a really funny game where me and Lydia would take turns acting out infomercials for ridiculous products like a gorilla halloween costume, plastic rice, jell-o basketball, wooden windows, etc. We were all laughing and having a really fun silly time together.

At home we watched an episode of Space-Time because Mary has been interested in concepts like time-travel. It was a really wonderful evening.

I had a hard time getting up again, but when I did, I worked out and then I did a 2.5 hour Secret Santa gift exchange with my AXB guys. We had so much fun catching up and exchanging gifts!

While I was thus occupied, Lily was going deep on lessons with Lydia. They worked on Ancient Greek, and Lydia learned the entire Greek Alphabet!

After that, Lily read in the Old Testament with Lydia and Mary, and tried to help them understand it in its historical and anthropological context.

I was feeling tired today, but once I got myself going, I played Mahjongg with Lydia, Mary and Lily. Then we tried to play 7 Wonders and learned that it is complicated, so we gave up and we will try again after I study it a bit.

I then played Operation, Scultapalooza, and Outfoxed with Ammon and Clarissa which was great because they had a lot of screens today.

When I finished with Ammon and Clarissa, I went upstairs to find that Lily and Mary were having an epically bad piano practice. Lily was completely at her wits end, and we were close to quitting piano altogether. We are still in a bit of a gray space for what the future looks like, but Mary really pulled herself together, and worked hard with a perfect attitude for the rest of the night and made a lot of progress and we are very proud of her. I’m also incredibly grateful to Lily for what she puts in to help the kids learn discipline, skills, the importance of working for rewards, appreciation for investment from others, and not being entitled. I believe Lily’s work with them on their instruments is a big part of why they are turning out so beautifully, but it is hard, hard, hard work, so thank you to Lily and thank you to the kids for also wanting it. Mary could have quit tonight, we gave her the choice. And like Lydia did before when things got to a dark spot with her, Mary chose to continue and not quit even though she knows it won’t get any easier, and that makes me very very proud. I’m also grateful to Lily for sticking with it even though practice can be extremely hard on her. The hope is that after today, things will get better.

I slept in really late after an exhausting trip to Philly. In the morning, the kids worked on a craft birthday present for me, Lily went to Yoga, and I did a good workout running Basil and doing pull-ups in the park (Dog-out workout).

I was happy to see that I wore out Basil :). Also, Lily took him to the groomers and he’s looking really great!

Later in the day, I helped all the kids play Pretty, Pretty Princess.

After Pretty, Pretty, Princess. I played fort with the kids. They were so excited and even gave me adventure clothes to wear. The had built a fort and the plot was that they were my long lost children, and they had lived in the wilderness for many years (and gone wild) and I finally found them and I was going to stay the day with them, and then take them home to meet their mother, and stay in their new clean home and no longer live in the wilderness.

At one point, Basil didn’t realize the roof of the fort was soft, so he jumped through it and landed on us and that made us laugh. We also had fun with the kids pretending to get into mischief as I, the protecting parent corrected and tried to save them from their mischief. That evolved into a riff on an old game we used to play (nobody leaves the room/couch) and we played “nobody leaves the fort”. The idea was they kept wanting to go on dangerous adventures and get in trouble, so I had to forcibly round them up and throw them back in the fort. I was sweating by the end and surprised I could still lift Lydia and carry her up the stairs. It was really fun. I chased the kids a lot and they also hid in hiding spots. Clarissa was not into the game, and wanted to go to the “new home” to be civil and not be wild anymore. After chasing all the other kids, Clarissa helped me make dinner, and then we had everyone come to dinner in their PJs and we continued the game a little bit longer as we pretended they were eating dinner in their new fun. It was honestly so much fun.

Dinner was yummy salmon, rice and broccoli.

Lily has been giving a lot of massages to the older girls lately. Here Mary is enjoying her foot massage.

At 8:00, Lily hung out with Michaelann at Barnes & Nobles, and then they went to Michaelann’s house and she did a Tarot card reading for Lily.

Lily’s cards were a frog, a flamingo and a whale. They all have in common being multiple things at the same time. The front is land/water, the flamingo is land/air, and the whale is water, but mammal. There was also a progression suggested in the cards that made Lily feel hope in progressing on her weaknesses that she holds along with her strengths (like the animals being multiple things at the same time). It really gave Lily something to think about as she drove home, because she has wondered if there is hope in her goals for herself around being more kind. Of course, anyone who knows Lily knows that she is incredibly kind and loving, but she feels immense guilt anytime she falls short of her own standard (even in very difficult circumstances), and she is wanting to eradicate cruelty from herself completely.

Also, Lily has done a ton of reading lately.

The shop had our car again today. It turns out the battery ran down when Lily accidentally ran it in neutral, so they just had to recharge it. But not having transportation again, the kids stayed home from school. Mary used the extra time to make cookies. Isn’t she cute!

I had a long day of travel and didn’t sleep much on my trip so I was so so grateful to be home. I put Clarissa down, and she isn’t always the most cooperative when it is bedtime. Tonight she was hiding in the stuffed animals avoiding bed-time.

Georgia had a small scare tonight when her breathing felt off, but Lily consulted with Swathi and helped coordinate an EMT checking on her and the EMT found that things were ok, and then Georgia started feeling better so we are grateful for that!

Thursday was my first trip in my new role on the Enterprise Healthcare team. I got in around 1AM last night, huddled with my manager and team starting at 8:30 AM, attended a 3 hour presentation with customers, then did a cocktail mixer hour with them, and then went to dinner. Afterwards my manager and team-mates chatted until after midnight, and then I work up 6:10 the next day to catch my flight home. The schedule is rough, but I love my new team, and manager, and I also really love interacting with all of the wonderful healthcare professionals I got to meet.

Back at home, Lily had a stressful day with a strange car issue that crept up after she accidentally drove in neutral. Also, we are cancelling our St. George trip because roads seem not the best and we are not messing around with that given what happened in November.

Because of the car situation, the car was in the shop and Lily did not have a way to get the kids to school so they stayed home. Lydia used the time to make an amazing crochet scarf for Clarissa!

Later in the day, a pianist came over to our house to perform for us in preparation for her upcoming performance. She’s amazing!