Author: Abe Darais

A Wonderful Monday

Today was a very great day. I was very productive at work, and Lily swam in the morning. Lily was having a little harder of a day emotionally after swim, but then things turned around and she took the kids swimming, bought groceries and worked with the kids. The kids played SO well together today, including Ammon getting a very cute haircut.

For dinner, Lily bought more ingredients for tin foil dinners (we were so inspired by the tin foil dinners at the Baker’s house last night!). The tin foil dinners turned out delicious and then Lily cleaned while I worked on a book project with the kids. Lydia came up with the idea that each of us would write 5 stories, and then each person would have a chance to illustrate a book from each other family member. My plan is to laminate them all and bind them all together in one summer story compendium. Lily wanted to join, but prioritized letting me join while she cleaned up dinner since I was going to leave to New York the next day and promised the kids I’d do their book project with them. That was so kind of her. After that Jordan and Tyler from the Community of Christ came over and we studied the chapters on Zion and Ordinances together. I love them and felt both spiritually and socially fed. Afterwards, I tied Lily in Wingspan (which I was happy about since she usually beats me), and then we went to bed since I was going to wake up at 3:45. Today was a great day!!

Hiking and Dinner with the Bakers

Today Lily and I took the kids hiking to Stewart Falls. It was almost 4 miles round trip and it was of much fun. It was crazy how many trees had fallen over and were blocking the path (8 or so). I assume it’s from all the snow over the winter? Before our hike, we started with a yummy lunch from Harmon’s.

  • I thought it was interesting how slanted the trees in the background were.

After hiking we went straight to the Baker’s and had the most wonderful time. They are such a lovely, down-to-earth family. We had tin foil dinner and had so much fun catching up because it has been a while.

  • Lydia is almost as tall as Lily! She’s been growing a lot lately.

Park City Birthday

There were a comedy of errors as to why I didn’t help Lily celebrate her birthday well on the actual day, but today Lily and I had a Park City date day to celebrate her birthday. First we went to Freshie’s. Lily and I both thought it was possibly the best sandwich we had ever eaten. They fly the lobster in fresh every morning. Also, they entered a worldwide competition in Portland, Main for the best lobster roll, and they won!!

Then Lily and I went to the Park City Nursery. Lily was completely enchanted. We didn’t take any pictures there, but there were cute buildings, a creek, giant wind chimes, and amazing plants everywhere. Lily also said the shop is her new favorite shop. It had amazing candles, pots, soaps and other fun items.

After the nursery, we hiked the Ontario Ridge trail. It turned a bit serious when Lily started talking about some ideas she had (which were totally practical) and I couldn’t hide my stress about money. That launched us into a very large conversation about money. At first I was nervous the conversation would ruin her birthday, but it turned into a very raw, deep and vulnerable conversation that helped us both to reframe our internal dialogues about money in a way that was more fair, positive and true. We also unpacked some of our insecurities about money, and see each other more clearly, and with deeper love. It turned out to be a very bonding conversation.

We then went to Chimayo. The food was amazing, and one of our favorite parts was the metal goblets they put our water in. Lily got duck enchiladas and I got chicken fajitas.

Then we drove home very happy and fulfilled from our day and spent time with Morgan and Jessie. We admired their new yard they just had landscaped, and covered a multiplicity of topics as we hung out inside. Lily and I had such an incredible time talking with them. At home, Lily and I played Wingspan until almost 1:00.

What an amazing day. Lily, I love you so much, and celebrating your birthday with you today was a major highlight for me. You are loving, fun, sweet, talented, crazy-smart, beautiful and deep. Thank you for being mine, for giving me your love, and for having such a special day with me!

Spa Day, Qualtrics Party and Family Photos

Today we got the photos from our family photo shoot back in May. Here are some highlights!

Also, today was the Qualtrics party. I took the kids while Lily enjoyed an evening at the Spa getting a facial and hot stone massage for her birthday. The highlight of the party was at the end when we got to dance to music while people threw chalk in the air. It was too loud for Clarissa so she sat on the side with Mary while Ammon, Lydia and I participated. I had a great time dancing, and Ammon was in heaven (see video’s below). My favorite video is of Ammon making chalk angels, lol!

Also, while I worked at home, Lily visited Jessie and Morgan and had one of the most fulfilling conversations she’s ever had in her life. She was so inspired by everything they shared with her and she came home and told me all about it!

Friends, Family and Cake

Today was a really great day. Lily and I have been in a bit of a difficult spot towards each other the last few days, but today the great vibes really came back and we both had a really great day.

After work I drove to Salt Lake City and we met up with Lauren and Grant, which was so fun. Prior to that, Lily had taken the kids to This is the Place Park for a market that was there, and they also met up with Suzanne there. After hanging out with Lauren and Grant, my dad invited us over, and we all ate a delicious dinner at his house. While there, we also sang to Lily and served carrot cake and chocolate cake for her birthday, chatted more and the kids had a birthday performance for Lily. It was all such a wonderful time!

Happy Birthday Lily!

Lily had her 40th birthday today. We had lunch with her mom, and then she did a lot of work with the kids. I’ve been thinking a lot about Lily today, and in honor of her 40th birthday, I would like to share 40 things things about her that I particularly love.

  1. Lily loves Wingspan. Playing with her is always a highlight in my day.
  2. Lily cherishes being in community. She is repelled by extremist thinking that causes dialogue and harmonious living to break down.
  3. Lily is well-read. Lily is one of the most well-read people I have ever met. Because I am her husband, I get to experience life as though I’m well read, but I just listen to her share about what she has read.
  4. Lily is a great friend. She loves her friends deeply. She is generous with them and always shows her appreciation for the way they bless her.
  5. Lily is an amazing romantic partner. I will not elaborate.
  6. Lily is a teacher. Lily is committed to raising our children with skills, critical thinking ability, and knowledge, and it she is constantly teaching them music, literature, wisdom, and life skills.
  7. Lily is fantastic cook. I. Love. Everything. Lily. Cooks. Period.
  8. Lily listens to me. When I’m going through a hard time, she will let me talk and vent, and the way she affirms me gives me strength and healing.
  9. Lily is visionary. Whether it is the family dog, maturing our spirituality, finding a perfect home for our family, or designing experiences we will never forget, or helping me navigate career decisions, Lily always seems to see beyond, and I value her wisdom immensely.
  10. Lily is deeply good. Lily talks to me regularly about her deepest desires and they always revolve around how she wants to love the people in her life. Her deepest desires are pure gold, and those desires constantly manifest in her day to day life.
  11. Lily forgives. I can be stubborn, negative and even accusatory when I’m stressed or frustrated. Lily always forgives me when my behavior is bad, and for that I am eternally grateful.
  12. Lily is fun. Lily always claims she is not fun, but I have fun with her every day. Whether we are laughing about the latest celebrity gossip together, setting up for a party she planned, playing games with the kids, or traveling together while listening to fun audio books she curated, Lily creates fun for this family.
  13. Lily is beautiful. Lily has a natural beauty that makes chemistry easy to this day.
  14. Lily loves adventure. Because of Lily, our family has seen Greece, France, and so many more places. Our most meaningful family memories are because of the explorations she has planned for the family.
  15. Lily is brave. When Lily feels something is right, she does it, even if it is very uncomfortable for her.
  16. Lily cares about what is inside. Lily regularly talks with me about the importance of authenticity and how appearances can be deceiving, and I can say that Lily is the most authentic, vulnerable and real person I have ever met.
  17. Lily has grit. I have witnessed Lily face many challenges and obstacles in multiple dimensions of her life, and keep pressing on.
  18. Lily has a BIG heart. Her dreams for humanity, for her family, for her community are centered on peace and love. She is quick to help a friend or neighbor in need. Just the other day she made sure I went to check on a neighbor who appeared to be moving furniture while limping.
  19. Lily is wise. When I have a tough problem in my life I’m not sure how to solve, I can turn to Lily for advice.
  20. Lily puts people first. Whereas I often get absorbed in tasks, and my work, Lily makes sure the people in her life knows she loves them. She gives gifts, and is lavish with praise and affirmation. She listens incredibly well and just has really good skills with people.
  21. Lily is humble. When Lily is wrong, she is the first to admit it. When she makes a mistake, she acknowledges it quickly. It is profound how she models to our children the ability to apologize and seek what is right, not being perceived as right. That is one of my favorite things about her.
  22. Lily is flexible. I often get caught up in my routines, or rigid thinking. Lily has the ability to prioritize and pivot in real time in a way that I do not.
  23. Lily is compassionate. When I have a hard day, or if one of the kids is having a hard day, Lily’s hugs, affirmation and compassion have healing powers.
  24. Lily works hard. Our organized trips, the children’s music development, our gorgeous and clean house, the laundry, the cooking, her non-profit work. Lily shows up with effort every day, pushing the rock in ways that benefit our family and allow us to flourish.
  25. Lily is musical. I love it when Lily plays the piano, but even more importantly, she has bestowed musicality on all of our children, and that musicality lights up our home. 
  26. Lily is intentional as a mother. Whereas I’m often thinking about myself, like what I want to be doing in the future, Lily is busy thinking about how to best set up our children for success in the future, and filling their lives with the activities that she thinks will bless them.
  27. Lily is selfless. Being an at-home mom is really hard work, filled with constant sacrifice on top of the other people in her life she blesses and touches regularly. Lily does a much better job than me of putting others first and it’s something I learn from her.
  28. Lily is an incredible writer. Lily is published basically every time she writes seriously. When I read her writing, I’m blown away by its precision in expression, as well as its explosive creativity.
  29. Lily is intelligent. On a similar note, Lily is so fun to have conversations with. I feel I get smarter just by talking with her. She is articulate and clear in reasoning, and it’s so intellectually stimulating to be her partner. 
  30. Lily is an amazing companion. I don’t know how else to articulate this, but just having all my comings and goings with Lily is such a gift. Cuddling at night, walking the dog together, working out together, talking together, playing wingspan together. Even when we were dating, I just felt so nice when I was around her, and it continues to be the case. I always only want more time with her.
  31. Lily is cultured. Lily has been to many place, and has read many books. She’s therefore very open-minded and aware of how the world works in different ways. My mind has expanded just being married to her.
  32. Lily is deep. Another one of my very favorite attributes about Lily is the depth of her soul. She is not shallow or artificial, but a deep thinker who plunges her mind and heart into the the meaty matters of life, death, purpose, love, community and more. By being her companion, I live a more meaningful and thoughtful life because of the deep thought and heart work that she is constantly pursuing.
  33. Lily loves to host. Lily loves hosting people and she does it so well. Not only is the food always divine, but she has such a hospitable spirit that helps people in our home feel loved and validated.
  34. Lily is active. I love that Lily is always wanting to do things like play Pickleball, bike, hike, walk the dog together, play tennis, travel, or do other fun things as a couple or family. It’s so fun to have a companion who always wants to do fun things together!
  35. Lily loves nature. Lily and I share a deep love of nature and we love to experience it together. She has introduced me to incredible authors who write about nature like Michael Pollan and Terry Tempest Williams, and we’ve experienced tons of national parks together with the family and we’ve enjoyed being National Parks donors together.
  36. Lily is supportive. When I wanted to stay in the LDS church with the kids after Lily left, she supported me in that pursuit. When I then wanted to be active in the Community of Christ, she not only supported me, but helped to host many church sessions in our home. She continues to support me attending as much as I want and always encourages my hobbies like biking, fishing etc.
  37. Lily is loving. So many times Lily’s genuine love for me comes through. Whether it’s forgiving me in failures, giving me the cushion I need to get work done by taking care of the kids to take pressure off me, affirming me when I’m stressed, or just encouraging me to go on a bike ride, I often feel her support to do the things I need to do to feel happy and healthy.
  38. Lily is healthy. Lily loves nutritious food, exercise, and healthy habits, and she is always encouraging our kids to make healthy choices.
  39. Lily has great taste in music. Vienna Tang, Rhiannon Giddens, Kate Rusby and so many more were all introduced to me by Lily. She also blew my mind this year by introducing me to Carmina Burana, and Rhapsody in Blue.
  40. Lily is cares deeply about social issues. Lily is highly educated about the issues of our time, and cares deeply about climate change, equity and inclusion, peace, abolishing poverty, philanthropy and making the world better for everyone.

Lily, thank you for being in my life. Each day is a perfect treasure. Every day you teach me, delight me, forgive me, and love me, and you are the sunshine to my world. I hope this year is your best year yet!

Father’s Day

Today was a good day. I had a great time at church with Lydia, Ammon and Clarissa, while Lily and Mary ran errands and walked Basil in a beautiful sugarhouse neighborhood. After church we had a delicious lunch at my dad and Suzanne’s house. He prepared a delicious lentil soup with salad. My favorite part of the day was recounting good memories about my dad to my kids in the drive to church and also playing ping pong with my dad on his table using the same paddle I grew up with. My brothers and I played a lot together, with friends and with dad growing up. He then showed us some properties we were curious about. Afterwards we had a yummy dinner at IKEA.

Looking at properties sparked a pretty intense conversation between me and Lily that started to feel a bit more like an argument that lasted a couple days, but Lily and I are working through it.

Here is a truly touching note that Mary made for me:

Of Tea Parties and Fairy Gardens

Lily and I woke up and played wingspan and then we were invited to a delicious tea party that Lydia and the other kids put together!

In the afternoon, we got the kids items for their fairy gardens, and in the afternoon, I worked in the garden and then played with the kids on the trampoline. We played a super fun game that Lydia created where someone called out a scenario we had to act out on the trampoline one by one, and then that person would judge his/her favorite. It was so much fun!

Playing School, Provo Canyon Majesty (and flooding), the Library and the Jacksons

Today the kids played school together. It was very cute!

In the late afternoon, I went on a bike ride and fell in love with the majestic of Provo Canyon. The river was gushing from all the water we’ve gotten (it rained earlier today), and the waterfalls were amazing too. Amazing views were everywhere and I caught some pictures (including pictures of the flooded trail).

In the evening I hung out with Josh and Katie Jackson and learned about their growing slime business while Lily took the younger kids to the library while Lydia was at Parker’s party. I picked up Lydia on the way home.