Author: Abe Darais

We pulled into our AirBNB in Pahrump Nevada around midnight (Pacific time), so we allowed ourselves to sleep in a bit today. Once we got everyone out the door, we headed to Death Valley. It’s a good thing Lily suggested we stop at a General Store because even though all we got was a bunch of snacks (beef jerky, chex mix, peanuts, V8 donuts etc), those snacks lasted us until Dinner because there turned out to be very little to eat in the Death Valley area. While purchasing the snacks, the cashier volunteered that Pahrump is home to one of the few legal prostitution houses in the United States (locals refer to it as a chicken-house), that it is $1,500 per session and that it’s currently shut down due to Covid. I had no idea that existed.

We’ve been enjoying the Encanto soundrack and a book called Circe on this trip. Here are some videos of Lydia singing along to Encanto with Clarissa:

When we arrived at Death Valley, the first thing we did was go to Zabriskie point, and then we hiked about 4 miles round-trip on the trail that started at the Zabriskie trail-head. We didn’t go to the Red Cathedral or the Gower Gulch because it felt like too much given our water situation, and how some of the kids were fading. But what we did do was incredible. The scenery was completely fantastic, and we left the hike feeling super satisfied.

After Zabriskie point, we went to the visitor’s center for a map and advice and then we made a plan.

First we drove artist’s drive. Everyone in the car, except me, fell asleep just before getting there and missed it. But I loved it so much (and didn’t restrain myself very well as I woke Lily up a time or two just to point out some great views). There were some really fun parts that got very narrow, with red rock flanking on each side, and the coloring was amazing. I didn’t think to take videos until my favorite parts were over, but hopefully the below captures some of the essence.

After artist’s drive we went to Badwater. It is the lowest point in North America (282 feet below sea-level). When we arrived, everyone except me and Lydia were asleep, so Lydia and I read while the others snoozed. Lily didn’t sleep much last night, so she was particularly tired. I enjoyed my Lincoln Highway book while Lydia read her Greek Mythology Book.

At 3:00, Lily and I decided nap-time was over, and woke everyone up. Then we did a super-fun one mile walk like I have never done before. We crossed salty dirty on a path worn by foot-traffic. And the deeper in we got, the more salty the dirt got, until at the end, the crust of the earth we were standing on was in all sorts of crazy formations, like the ground was cracked under our feet, and in some places it looked like it was peeling off the earth.

After Badwater, we went to the sand-dunes. I was stressed that we would get there and there would not be enough sunlight which would be a particular shame because it was in the opposite direction of Yucca valley where we were staying for the night. But when we got there, it turned out we had plenty of light for a good 30-40 minutes of fun. The kids were so happy and I’m pretty sure it was the favorite part of the day for all the kids (Lydia said it was her favorite part). We all took our shoes off to feel the sand which was remarkably soft.The kids jumped in the sand, made sand angels, ran around, threw sand (which Lily and I swiftly shut down multiple times), and just had so much fun experiencing the sand dunes. At one point, Ammon was making a sand-angel and saying, “this is the life!”. I also did a little jumping in the sand.

Lily and I were laughing because not too long ago, Ammon said to us, “You know what my heaven would be? My heaven would be a room with padding on the walls, so I could run around and bounce of the walls, and I wouldn’t get hurt, and even even if I did, it wouldn’t matter because I’m already dead.” Lily and I chuckled as we thought that sand dunes was a pretty near approximation to his even. He was running and jumping and being crazy, essentially bouncing off the sand. But he couldn’t get hurt because the sand was so very soft.

The walk back to the car was very rough on our feet because we were still all in bare-feet and it got rocky before the car.

Then we drove for 5 hours to Yucca valley. It wasn’t until 2 hours from our place for the night that we found a Del Taco in Baker Nevada. There we were at 8:30 at night, not having had a real meal for over 24 hours. Fast food tacos and burritos never tasted so good.

Then I drove to our AirBnB. On our trips, we also enjoy our music, podcast and book selections, largely thanks to Lily who usually prepares for the trips with great content. On this trip we have been enjoying The Encanto Soundrack, a book called Circe, which is about a witch from Greek Mythology, and I have really been enjoying Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young.

I had a busy day at work and came home to work on our Indian food leftovers with Jen, Chris, and their kids. We enjoy spending time with them so much, and Lily and I really enjoyed chatting with them. The kids had a great time together, as always, too. After they left, I worked on training Basil to come. He has already learned the command a while ago, but he has significantly regressed. About a week ago, he ran out the garage door, and walked around people’s yards barking for 3-5 minutes, and he would not come no matter how many times I called. I walked after him asking him to come and he just walked away from me obstinate until I finally closed in on him and grabbed him. I swatted his back side, told him “no” sternly, and then put him in his crate with three more “no!”s. I was very direct to Basil about the unacceptable behavior and I realized it would not be super helpful without also reinforcing the behavior I do want him to do. I promptly order treats on Amazon. And today I practiced the “come” command. We definitely made some progress. Here is a video:

Also, before our guests came over, Lily had a really rough time with Lydia and Mary’s music practice. I came home and found everyone to be emotionally soar from it. There is no way around the fact that it difficult instruments, and I think they are all doing way better than they realize soldiering through it. Lily was pretty discouraged, but this email from Lydia really helped her feel better:

I know I don’t act like it sometimes, but I am glad that you taught me to play the harp. It can be hard but it is so worth it. Today I was playing Allegro and Kailens family all came into the music room to listen. Kailen said I was really good. This is what makes learning to play the harp worth it. I hope I can continue playing the harp, but if I can’t I want to say thank you for teaching me what I know on the harp

Today was a great day. I helped get the kids ready for the school with Lily and loved seeing Clarissa in her pig tails so I snapped this photo.

After dropping off Ammon and Clarissa, I did the 500 workout (technically for me it was the 300, lol), but it was great to workout. It really helped my mood all day.

Lily also got great exercise because she went on a hike near Draper. I think she said it was the Ralph Wadsworth trail. She had so much fun spending time with Courtney and Jen, and so much fun hiking. She came home and declared that winter hiking is her new favorite thing in the winter and she never needs to ski, because winter hiking will always fully satisfy her in the winter. I’m so so happy she had such a good time. She also mentioned the bridge was a little on the scary side.

Before and after her hike, Lily was cleaning the house preparing for our party. After I finished work, I went and got A LOT of Indian food from Kohinoor, and I picked up my friend Nick before heading back home. We had Jen & Chris and their kids, Amy and her kids, Sharon and Edje and their boy, MichaelAnne and Nick.

It was such a good time visiting with everyone. I hadn’t seen Sharon and Edje since their wedding six years ago, and it was so nice to catch up with them as well as all of our wonderful friends their. We had deep conversations about religion, racism, the LGBTQ+ community and sexuality in general, and we also just caught up on each others lives. It felt deeply nourishing both on a social/emotional level and on a spiritual/meaning level. We are so grateful to have such good people in our lives.

Ephraim found the little toy, so he was the King of the night! The kids had a lot of fun playing together as well. Ephraim kept asking for Lydia and didn’t want to leave when it was time to go. So cute!

One of my favorite things is watching kids (or anything really, including Basil) in the process of falling asleep. Clarissa was so tired at the end of the party, that tucked herself in bed and I found her with her eyes half-mast. Lily cuddled with her for a bit, and we watched her drift to sleep. So cute!

I drove Ammon to school this morning and here he is with Clarissa being cute in the car on the way there.

This has not been a great week for falls. Georgia fell today, and Lily went to see Georgia. Georgia was in a spell at the time, so Lily returned later to take her to the urgent care for X-Rays. We felt so bad for Georgia who was having such a hard day, but it seems like there aren’t any breaks, which is very encouraging, but we may get another X-ray just to be safe if anything seems to be bothering her in a day or two.

I had Clarissa at home while Lily was helping Georgia. We had a tough moment when I refused to play baby spiderman for Clarissa on TV because episodes are only 5 minutes and I wanted something that would take her attention for much longer. She had a big tantrum, but eventually calmed down. Then she sat on my lap while I sent recruiting emails. She was so cute. She’s looked at people’s LinkedIn profiles, get really excited when she saw a female, and would ask question like, “Dad, will that person respond to your email?” It was so cute.

When Lily got home, I found a hole in my schedule for a quick swim with Lily and Clarissa. The kid pool was closed so Lily and I focused on helping Clarissa remember the things she had learned from swim lessons in the summer. She was so incredibly cute in her goggles, that Lily and I lamented the whole time that we didn’t bring our phones to take pictures. Thus, when we got home, we put Clarissa goggles back on and snapped some pictures.

After I worked some more, I picked up all the kids early from school and then took them to the dentist where we met Lily who had still been with her mom, but came to get her teeth cleaned and then went back to her mom. We all got our teeth cleaned and checked. Only Lydia has a follow-up appointment for some extra work.

In other news, Lydia has been displaying a rather impressive eye roll when I say something ridiculous like a bad dad joke. Examples below:

After driving everyone home from the dentist, I did homework with Ammon, helped Lydia with her homework, and helped people get on instruments.

In the evening I called everyone to the front porch because there was the most incredible sunset

I also fed people dinner (Lily’s amazing leftover soup) and then drove them to dance. Then Lily arrived from being with her mom and took over on the home-front.

I worked late to make up for work-time I missed during the day, walked with Lily (which was awesome!) and also noticed Lily and Mary having the most incredible hour-long practice until late at night working on her concerto.

Lastly, there are three anecdotes I have been meaning to capture in the blog. These are cute things some of the kids have said in recent history:

About one month ago, Ammon said the following: Mom, I’m really sad for Mary. Who is she going to Mary because I want to Mary Lydia? Lily then explained to Ammon that you cannot marry someone in your own family. Ammon then said, “well mom, who did you marry?” Lily explained that she married me, and Ammon protested, “But mom, you can’t marry someone in your own family!” It’s so hard for a youngster to grasp all the complications of human life, lol. I thought that was so funny.

9 or so months ago (others tell me it was longer ago than that), Clarissa was eating those little oranges called cuties. She announced, “more cuties please.” We told her that we did not have anymore cuties, and she stated, “I want a new family.”

3 or so weeks ago, Clarissa excitedly looked at me during our bedtime routine, and said, “Dad, do you know how much is 1 million? It’s 500 feet, even 1,000!” Clarissa often takes on the tone of teacher like she knows all about the world and wants to impart her knowledge onto others. It’s so adorable.

Today, Lily went to Yoga, and then Salt Lake for some returns she had to make. Unfortunately, I had taken the returns out of the car to make room for the sleds and winter clothes on Saturday, so Lily drove all the way to Salt Lake from Lehi to find that she couldn’t do what she hoped. Even more unfortunately is that she tripped and hurt both ankles on this disappearing sidewalk.

I seems to me so far not to be as bad as her previous fall, but I felt so bad for these two setbacks.

I worked from the Qualtrics office, taught Mary’s art class again (about Cubism, it was so fun!) and then brought Mary and Lydia home from school. I taught art and I planned a short day because Lily was still recovering from her sickness. It was fun to spend so much time with the family. While teaching art, Mary did not make a single comment. She may have been the only one! She was so shy, but I guess it is extra embarrassing to have your dad as the teacher. After class with Mary, we picked up Lydia. Mary immediately grabbed onto Lydia and attached to her side with a tight hug. She walked out of school with Lydia in that position, not letting go at all. It made me realize yet again just how attached Mary is to Lydia (literally) and how special that bond is.

At home, we had Amy and her children over for a playdate. There was playing, Kareoke, popovers, and a fun time that was had by all.

After the fun, Lily and I helped the children focus on their work. I helped Mary with her math, and Ammon did almost a full hour of school work as well. Lydia did her harp and Lily did music with the kids.

Also, Lily made the most incredible soup. Cabbage and Potato. Everyone ate it. It was delicious!

Here is Ammon and Clarissa dancing before bed time:

I woke up in a particularly grouchy mood today, but I did my best not to let it show. I think it’s a combo of the aftermath of pushing too hard with all my New Year’s Enthusiasm, still being a bit sick, not sleeping well lately, and not yet having come down from my end-of-year work stress (and still hurting a bit from some of the end of year disappointments I had).

Lily’s sickness progressed to be full-on viral laryngitis, so not only did she not feel well, but she lost her voice all day. In the morning she went to the urgent care and got some medicine to help. Our friend Matt who is a medical professional also prescribed something he thought would help.

While Lily was out, I hustled working on the house to get ready for our company. Lily did great working getting the house into a good spot during the week, so I was able to do a bunch of finishing touching to get things really looking nice, and Lily helped when she got back too.

Then Christian came over and Lily visited with him for an hour. He’s Daniel and Amanda’s son, and he’s going to teach Lily some knitting tricks.

Then we all went up Provo Canyon for some sledding. We were first to arrive and I pet Basil and sang songs about him in the car:

Getting up in the mountains with friends and sledding completely changed my mood. We found an awesome sledding run, and built a great track that was a good blend of exciting, but not too dangerous. We certainly had some whipe-outs, but fortunately, nobody got hurt. My favorite part is we were able to dig the track really long, and some riders actually made it all the way down to the fort, making the track very very long. I had such a good time and in my excitement, I told Lily it was one of the happiest days of my life. I just felt like such a kid again. I hope we do it every year with our “Les Amis” group (that is our WeChat group name, and I rather like it). Lydia, Mary and Ammon each went down a few times and then played around the fort, with Clarissa. Lily kept an I on them while I worked on building out the track, helping the sledders, and going down quite a few times myself. She was such a heroine to do that when she was not feeling well. People loved the track, and there were many runs down it by both kids and grown-ups. Here are a bunch of pictures and videos!

Afterwards, we grabbed some Thai food, and Chris, Jen, Gigi, and Kaylin joined us at our house. We visited over dinner, and then then we ate a King’s cake that Jen and Chris brought. We shared their King’s cake tradition with them of having the youngest children sit under the table and announce who gets what slice, and then eat the cake and see who gets the little toy. The person who finds it gets to where the crown and be the queen or king. Here is a video of Jen explaining the tradition, a video of Gigi finding it, and some more pictures of the evening. We had such a wonderful time with them! Both playing the game and just conversing with them was so enjoyable.

Today I took Ammon and Clarissa to school and then went to the office. I had a couple of meetings and then went to the Dodo restaurant in Sugarhouse and met my new boss Kim, who I like a lot. I then drove back and finished up work, including user-testing for a new content management platforms we are evaluating.

While I worked, Lily went on a walk/jog, did yoga, played at the funeral for our friend Matt’s father, baked bread and tidied.

On the way home, I stopped by to see Georgia. She was not feeling great. Lately she has had an issue where the air from breathing makes her throat feel very cold and it hurts. I was so sorry to see her going through that. Still, she unfailingly has a great attitude and was delightful to visit with. She also sent me home with goodies, like pumpkin bread from Kneaders, and gingerbread men for the kids. They loved eating them after finishing their dinners!

After I spent a brief stint at home, Lily and I went and had dinner with Daniel and Amanda Olsen. We doordashed Bombay house to their house and just spent time with them in Daniel Olsen’s basement piano studio. The food was delicious, but the conversation was the best part. We talked all about everyone’s different life experiences, and we just really enjoyed being with them. We then played Code Names, which was so fun. While playing games, Daniel and Amanda broke out the most impressive stash of sweets I have ever seen. It was really fun to do that right after reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, because they had fantastical and fancy sweets just like you would expect from the book. They had freeze-dried skittles, freeze-dried ice-cream bars, freeze-dried taffy, pepper-chocolate, fancy peanut-brittle chocolate, caramel chocolate, chocolate truffles, many more types of very fancy gourmet chocolate and more. We took a couple of pictures.

It was so fun to spend time with them and we hope to do it again soon! Lily also said hello to their son Christian. He’s very sweet and principled, and he’s an incredible knitter and Lily is hoping he will teach her some of what he knows. At home Lily helped get Clarissa and the girls down. I felt so exhausted and just started working on my puzzle, grateful for Lily’s efforts to get our children to bed. I then watched Troy, which is now so sad, I think I will not finish the series. Hector just was killed by Achilles.

Lily and I have both been exhausted because of how hard we have been pushing it.

I worked from home and Lily took Lydia and Mary to school and Ammon and Clarissa to ballet, and then dropped Ammon off at school. She then left Clarissa home with me while she went to give Basil a bath.

After Lily got Basil all clean and nice-looking, he kept wanting to go outside to dig and get dirty at home. We had to keep him on a leash for the rest of the day just to keep him from getting himself dirty.

After work, I watched the kids while Lily did some returns and errands, and took Lydia to and from dance. The big update from dance is one boy dragged another boy over to Lydia announcing he had a crush on her, and if I understood the story right Lydia stood there as if nothing was said, very cute. Lydia is also practicing cartwheels and the splits and she is getting quite good at both of them. I assume Lily took this picture while out and about.

At home I got so fed up with Basil trying to go outside over and over and over again that I finally crated him until Lily got home. After feeding the kids, I helped Mary with math a little bit and then Ammon did a solid hour of homework with me and Mary practiced the piano. Then I finished reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to Clarissa, Lydia and Mary. I felt bad separating Ammon this time, but it’s too crazy trying to read with him and Clarissa in the same room, and I was trying to wind Clarissa down for bed by reading to her. We absolutely loved Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and concluded that Willy Wonka in the book is fun, child-like, and is constantly laughing, joking and enjoying life, while the ones in the movies are too serious and disturbed (I think I’ve mentioned this). It was so fun to read with the kids! After putting the kids down, I finished setting up my fish finder and watched Troy, Fall of a City and Seinfeld. I think Lily read or took a bath.

Lily and I have been exceptionally active recently, and today it caught up to both of us as you will see throughout the blog.

I did my Dogout workout with Basil this morning, and then came home and made oatmeal with a topping bar for the kids. I’ve been daydreaming about it and they loved it. My dad used to make oatmeal in the morning for me and my brothers with toppings like apples and cinnamon, or molasses and raisins, and I loved having that same pallet of toppings with our oatmeal this morning.

Lily helped get Ammon and Clarissa ready for school and then drove them, and I dropped off Mary at school and then took Lydia with me to visit Georgia and then go to her therapy appointment with Vhari. The visit with Georgia was brief, but wonderful. She is so sweet, and she felt well during our visit so we had a really nice time talking to each other. Lydia asked Georgia about her New Year’s resolutions, and Georgia said she wants to be more like Jesus and more focused on the needs of those around her. I told her she was already very good at that, and Lydia reported she wants to learn to do a cartwheel and the splits, and become a better dancer. I got a haircut during Lydia’s therapy appointment. After the appointment, Lydia said she didn’t really connect well with Vhari today and that she didn’t feel like she had much to talk about. I suggested she go today because I’ve observed that she has been processing a lot as she has been maturing, and handling social situations at school, and trying to figure out her identity and place. I guess my suggestion wasn’t super productive, but the upside is it seems Lydia doesn’t feel she has any problems right now she thinks she needs to sort with a therapist.

I then went to work, and while I worked, Lily was tackling cleaning the house. Both of us were exhausted as we tried to take care of our respective tasks. At 4:00, I had a float which was amazing as always and it was also the first time I ever fell asleep during a float. At home, we had a delicious souffle, waffle and grapefruit dinner that Lily prepared. Then Lily worked on music with Ammon and Clarissa and left at 6:30 to do hot yoga. I cleaned up after dinner (was not bad because Lily really covered her tracks while cooking) while listening to Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, and then I watched Ammon dance to some songs from Disneys Princess and the Frog which was delightful. I got a couple of recordings below.

After that, I passed out on the couch while Ammon and Clarissa took pictures and videos with my phone. Example below:

I then put Ammon and Clarissa and to bed and watched Seinfeld and Troy, Fall of a City for two hours. When Lily came home she took a long bath and now she is reading.

We are both starting to feel more normal again after taking it a little easier today.

Today I ran Basil in the morning (Dogout workout) and then started an early work day with a 7:30 meeting. I mixed in reading a few Christmas cards into my work day, and this is one I really loved that my brother Jeremiah drew.

From what I know about Lily’s day, while I was working Lily took the girls to and from school, did grocery shopping, did a lot of exercise, helped Ammon practice his reading, and did Ammon’s piano practice with him.

After work, I came upstairs to find Lily making risotto. It is a long process and she still did it even though she was very tired. It turned out incredibly. I made a salad to compliment and we had the most delicious dinner. I often find risotto’s too rich, but this one was made with squash, and that helped it feel much more nourishing and wholesome. The kids did a good job eating tonight overall (motivated by chocolate if they finished), and we had a fun time talking as a family over dinner (and I had a fun time doing a happy dance when kids finished their meals). I also announced that kids out of their rooms after 10PM would have consequences (as we are trying to get back on schedule).

After dinner, we went up to the home/fort Ammon constructed and I read Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. We watched both movies last week and we have been really enjoying reading through the book together. Roald Dahl is such an entertaining writer! The main thing we are noticing in the book is that Willy Wonka is much more peppy, energized, playful and happy in the book than he appears in either of the movies.

I took these pictures when I tucked the girls in. Lily gave them each a small massage while I wrapped up reading and then I gave each of the girls a smash hug. They beg for it regularly, and it’s just as it sounds. I hug them in their beds with the intention of trying to completely crush them, even grabbing the mattress under them for maximum smashing. The love it.