Author: Abe Darais

Basil had his final obedience school class today.

At home Ammon colored in his bed in his Sharky blanket.

Towards the tail end of my work-day, Lily suggested I try to walk into a nearby vaccination location to get my Covid shot. She got hers last week. I gave it a “shot” and even though there were multiple signs outside the building that said, “by appointment only” when I walked in, they took my right away. I’m so grateful for Lily’s recommendation!

Here are some happenings with the children today.

Today, Basil was really mouthy and had a lot of energy, so I let him take it out on my blue play gloves.

Today Clarissa was still sick and Lydia and Mary started to feel sick as well so something is definitely going through our home.

From my side, the most eventful thing was I had a team activity at 2:00. It was a virtual Airbnb experience for which an Italian chef living in Florence taught us all how to make home-made gnocchi, ravioli and pesto.

I had so much fun! I was blown away at how simple it is to make home-made pasta. It is literally an egg and 2/3-3/4 cup flour (depending on the size of the egg) for the pasta, and gnocchi is just boiled potato shredded and mashed mixed with flower. That’s it! The filling for the ravioli was ricotta cheese with lemon-zest, salt, pepper, nutmeg and I think thyme. The pesto was simply olive oil, basil leaves, pine-nuts, and some other stuff I’m now forgetting (salt and pepper?) to the consistency of honey. It all turned out so good!

It also gave me a way increased respect for all the cooking Lily does in our home. I had to get her help just to figure out how to assemble the food processor, and when I was done, there was a giant mess everywhere that took about an hour to clean. Lily, thank you for all of the incredible meals you bless us with. This was such a good reminder of the amount of work that goes into all of that!

Lily learned a lot about her dad today from talking with his first wife, Shirley and it was a lot for her to process. Lily called her mom to talk through it with her, and in the process, we invited her to join us for our home-made pasta dinner. It was so fun to see her! We also had fish and an incredible beat, lentil, and feta salad that Lily made and some mind-blowing cowboy cookies. The whole meal was incredible and I ate myself silly. It’s now past 9:00 the next day and I’m still not hungry.

I love Sundays and today was no exception. The day started with church, and then I had a call with my AXB friends. Three of them are Asian, and we had a sobering dialogue about what they and their families are going through after the Atlanta shooting and all that is happening with Asian discrimination awareness right now.

After that call, we all got ready and went sledding with our friends Jen & Chris, and Courtney and Matt and all of their kids. We went to the head of the Timponogos trail on the Provo side of Alpine loop. We just found a nice hill that started from a snow-bank at the edge of the parking lot. It was the best hill we found in the area, but it had some challenges. For example, in the first part of the sled track, the track veers left and if you don’t veer with it, you could hit a tree. At the end of the sled track, the track dead-ends at either a tree or a brick wall.

For much of the time, people were joyfully building walls to redirect the sleds so that people could safely enjoy the speeds of the track. The first redirecting wall worked very well and didn’t need to be very high, because it was a gentle redirect and the sled wasn’t going very fast yet.

The wall at the end needed to sharply redirect the sled, which by that point was moving very fast, so to be effective, that wall had to be very tall. We were all very proud of our handy work. We never quite got the wall to be big enough to fully redirect an adult on a tube (I could go on a disk no problem because it is not quite as fast as a tube). I narrowly missed the tree when I went on the tube, and I pushed Chris (who went faster than me on the tube) at the end to help make sure he didn’t hit the tree (You can see it in the video below). Ammon was mostly focussed on building the snow wall, and Lydia was did a lot of hunting for ice-cycles. Mary and Clarissa went in the care early because Mary got snow in her boot and Clarissa was sick and we didn’t want her to get to cold. But all the kids got multiple rounds in and loved it. I probably had seven or so runs myself and loved every second. It seemed like our friends and their kids all had a really great time too. It was so much fun!!!

Afterwords, everyone came over to our house for food and we had the most wonderful time all talking together. We talked about fishing, camping, boating, religion and all sorts of things. The kids had a blast playing together as well.

After everyone left, Lily did her Richard Rhor class, and I did some work around the home and then stayed up late journaling about being a better ally to people who are discriminated against.

It was a great great day!

Even though I was completely exhausted today (the work week was intense and I stayed up late last night decompressing with Lily by watching TV), I had a really really happy day. Lily and I took a lazy morning and didn’t go upstairs until 10 or after. We have our Arlo device to help us keep ears on the house when we are taking extra time to ourselves, so that is very nice.

In the morning, Mary made this picture, which touched me deeply as it was only last week that she learned how to ride her bike with me and today the plan was for me to teach Ammon to ride his bike. I think she’s drawing Ammon and me in this picture. You can even see notice the elbow and wrist guards. She is such a great artist!

After I had breakfast and tidied, I took the kids to a church parking lot with the intent to help Ammon learn how to bike.

It was such an amazing experience. I was about to give him a bunch of instructions, but then I just told myself to let him try to do it, and then I could see where he was having trouble and I could coach from there. I think we had one false start of him falling, but on the second try, I ran behind him for a bit and then just pushed him and away he went, peddling and biking completely on his own I couldn’t even believe it. For an hour, I would start him off and then he would just zoom and zoom and zoom around the parking lot. I gave him a tip here or there, but really, he figured out completely on his own.

He was aided by his fearless personality. He wiped out or fell probably over ten times (thank goodness for the wrist, elbow and knee guards!), but he just wanted to keep going. He would say, “dad, can we keep training?” It was so remarkable to see him just take off and get it so quickly.

I am over the moon with both Mary and Ammon now riding their bikes! I told myself I would cross-country ski next weekend if both kids were biking successfully by then. That will be a great time, but the happiest thing for me is knowing they are both biking now. I’m so proud of them!!!!

Here is are pictures and videos.

After that, I drove through Jimmy Johns and then got everyone ice-cream since I committed ice-cream to Ammon for doing such an amazing job on his bike.

At home, Lily and I did some house-work, and then I took Mary to a birthday party for her friend Haven and then I visited with my friends Paul and Jake and their significant others (Jake was in town and Paul was hosting him).

At home, I ate dinner, got our new laser printer up and running, and then picked up Mary. Back at home, I had fun training Basil to do a trick Wingardium Leviosa for which he stands on his back two legs for a treat. I love that dog.

Tonight I’m going to bed early. I can’t wait!!!

I went to puppy obedience school with Mary and Basil tonight. It was agility work. It was soooooo cute. Here are videos.

Basil did great getting over the blue bar.

Basil did not do so great getting on the trampoline. He never did get on. But in this video you can see his friend Roxy, a St. Berdoodle that looks just like a bigger version of himself.

At first, Basil was quite hesitant with the A-frame.

But after some diligent work (Mary was a super trainer!), Basil had no hesitancy going up and over it:

Also, at first he would not go through the tunnel, but someone gave us the great idea to make the tunnel shorter until he got the hang of it. That idea got him to go through slowly and hesitantly one time. But after he realized he could do it, he quickly started running through it.

He also did some leg coordination work:

We weren’t able to get him to go on the platform along the wall.

I had so much fun with Mary at this class, and Basil is such a joy!

Even though I saw Lily bring home the St. Patrick’s Day groceries last night, and I wrote a note (as though I was a Leprechaun), I totally forgot it was St. Patrick’s Day this morning. The rest of the family didn’t forget though! When I made my way upstairs, everyone was already enjoying the St. Patrick’s Day goodies and everyone was wearing green (which I forgot to do)!

Also, Lily read St. Patrick’s Day books to everyone:

Target was completely sold out of Lucky Charms and we also didn’t get any chocolate gold coins like we usually do, so Lily asked if I could write a note to explain why we had other goodies instead. This was my best attempt.

As usual, there was evidence of Leprechauns using our bathroom.

When I came up from a very intense day at work at 4:30, I was delighted to find Georgia visiting and Lily letting the kids help her cook and prepare the St. Patrick’s Day feast we planned to have for dinner. I think they are making a delicious bread loaf in this picture.

Lily also let everyone help make a rainbow skittles cake. Here is a video of them frosting:

The dinner was so delicious that I had to take a picture of my plate. Cabbage, roasted carrots, grapes, cheese, home-made bread (soda bread?), home-made mashed potatoes, and the show-stopper was the corn-beef, probably the best I’ve had in my life.

Lily, thank you thank you thank you for making this such an incredible St. Patrick’s day for everyone!!!

After the drama and difficulty of yesterday, it was so wonderful to have a day of pure family fun today.

Church was in the morning. As usual it was amazing, and I had a chance to participate by lighting the Lent candles and reading a script they provided for me. The messages were wonderful except for one part of our Pastor’s sermon when she told a personal story that had racist elements. Lily did an awesome job of interrupting racism by writing our Pastor a sweet and thoughtful note pointing it out. We know our Pastor well enough to know that nothing was intended, that she will be grateful for the correction, and will probably make a statement to our congregation just to apologize. We are all learning and there is not no shame or embarrassment for anyone to make a mistake and learn from it in a safe environment, even our Pastor. That is the culture that we love soooooo much at our new church. I’m also super grateful for Lily’s voice. I felt a little uncomfortable during that part of the sermon, but I couldn’t articulate very well what exactly was wrong. Lily knew exactly what to say and I loved her loving email sharing our concern.

After church, we all loaded in the car, and everyone hung out in the car and also watched as Mary and I continued working on her bike-riding. I was so amazed! She did it! She learned it!!!! She’s biking now!!! After 3-5 tries, she was able to ride down the entire parking lot of Mountain View Highschool. Then we started working on turns as I told her to lean in the direction she wanted to turn. After 10 or so tries she got really good at gradual turning. I thought we had made amazing progress for one day, and was satisfied with that, but Mary really wanted to learn how to start on her own. She kept trying and trying and trying, until she started on her own once. Then twice. Then 3, 4, it must have been 5 or more times she started on her own before it was time to go. Mary!!! You can start. You can go straight. You can turn in both directions. You’ve got it!! You know how to bike!!!!!! Next week will be Ammon. Congratulations Mary!!!!

Then we went straight to Suzanne’s 60th birthday party. It was a very well planned and coordinated surprise party. Suzanne thought she was meeting MaryLou at the family home to go through items in the home that needed to be sorted and dealt with. But when she arrived, the plan was that MaryLou would lead her to the backyard where Suzanne would be shocked to see family members there for her birthday. That plan mostly worked except I guess we didn’t properly debrief Ammon because he was running all around the backyard, and didn’t come when we called, and so while he was running around the backyard, he saw Suzanne and then started yelling for her….haha….it was cute in the end. Yes, Suzanne was surprise to see Ammon (and confused because she thought it might be MaryLou’s grandson Aiden, but he was too short to be Aiden) and then she came and saw the rest of the family.

We had a wonderful time talking. The food was delicious as was the pie, German chocolate and icecream we had for desert. Also it was so so fun to talk to everyone.

It was also so adorable to watch Basil play with Walter and Willow. Here are some pictures and videos.

It seemed like everyone had a really great time. We love Suzanne so much. She is such a wonderful part of our lives, and our children absolutely adore her. We hope she has an amazing birthday tomorrow (her real birthday!)

Mary napped on the way home next to Basil. It was so cute!!

At home we did Karaoke. We’ve been listening to a lot of Alicia Keys in our home and Lydia has been practicing singing Alicia’s song, “Rise-up” and has been really looking forward to Karaoke. Tonight we made it happen!

Lately, I have felt overwhelmed and today was a very busy day. In the morning, I was exhausted, and Lily got up to take care of the dog and the kids for the first hour or two of the day. I felt so so so grateful for that time and I know it was a sacrifice for her as she is equally beat by the weekend. Once I got rolling for the day, Lily left to Basil’s socialization class and then ran some errands while I stayed home with the kids and mostly cleaned.

When Lily got home, we had lunch, and then I took Mary to the church parking lot to practice riding her bike. On Thursday, I ordered palm, knee and elbow pads for her, and I was so grateful Amazon got them to me in time. I wanted Mary to have everything she needed to succeed. She was such a good sport. It was a little chilly, but she really put her heart into learning. At one point her gloves got soaked from ground which was wet from the morning rain, and then she did the rest without gloves. She kept trying and trying until at the end, her fingers were quite cold.

She really started to make great practice when I started giving her the right instructions! I should have watched a quick You-Tube video or read something, but I didn’t. I kept telling her that when she starts falling, to turn in the opposite direction to correct herself. When she was struggling, I finally hopped on her bike and learned that you need to turn in the direction you are falling to keep your balance. Once I corrected my advice, she really started to have some success. By the end of our time together, she could stay on her bike for about 10 seconds and mostly ride in a circle, but she couldn’t go in a straight line yet. Still, she was learning to balance on her own, and it was by far the best she’s ever done, and I was thrilled. It was huge progress!!! Then Mary and I picked up some books for the library and went home.

At home, I prepared the title and bill of sale documents to sell the Corolla to Diana, one of Georgia’s friends. When they came over, I finished up the paperwork with her and her friend, told them about the car, removed the license plate (the other one was stuck on and they said they would bring it back), and I was wrapping up when Ammon frantically opened the garage door and said, “Dad, hurry quick, it’s an emergency!!!” I said, “What’s going on?” Amman said, “Mom is throwing away all of our toys!!!!”

I went inside to find a war zone. It started when Lily went to clean the upstairs and was absolutely distraught at how messy it was. She cleans the house over and over and over again to the point of exhaustion and complete demoralization and begs and begs and begs the kids to clean (especially the older ones who can be expected to) and recently, she has been threatening to throw away toys if the girls’ room isn’t picked up by 7:30 PM.

Tonight, when she saw the mess, she got very frustrated, grabbed a bag, and started throwing many many things on the floor in the bag. When the girls saw that, they vehemently protested, and a very difficult battle ensued. It was shortly after that moment that I entered the home. Unfortunately, I was kindof like a deer in the headlights, being completely emotionally unprepared for what I had just walked into. I didn’t really know what to think, and I wish I would have been more supportive to Lily in the moment. I was just kind of there, trying to be comforting to all parties where I could.

Ammon was racing around the house trying to save a toy from a bag here and there and also energetically cleaning his own room (until it was spotless). He was earnestly suggesting to the older girls that the solution to their problem was to lock their bedroom door. Something to the effect of, “I’ve got it, lock your door!” Lily said, he was so cute through all of it that it was the one bit of humor she found in the whole experience.

I grabbed a bag, and helped the girls finish cleaning the upstairs, listening to them recount their pains to me until the end. In the end, we we told them we’d give back the stuffed animals if their room is perfectly clean for a month straight, or three weeks straight including the computer area. That seems like a nice meeting in the middle of consequences, and some compassion.

It was incredibly reassuring to Lily and also very instructive to me to hear David and Olivia talk the next day (at Suzanne’s party) about a podcast they heard about parenting best practices for helping kids learn to pick up their toys. The parenting expert recommended making real consequences, such as throwing away toys, when kids do not clean. That affirmed that Lily really made the right call by making a real consequences as it has been such a struggle to get the girls to pick up.

The evening was quite intense, but on a lighter note, Ammon is getting incredibly good at coloring and here is a picture he drew.