Author: Lily

Lydia and I just finished our first real music lesson. Up until now, we have had fun sessions at the piano where we sing, play, talk about high and low, soft and loud, etc., but today was the first day I actually made her do something hard that she did not want to do. And I feel very ambivalent about how it went down.

I sat her down at the piano today and said, “Lydia, we’re going to tap some rhythms, okay?” She was compliant at first, but then I tapped a rhythm that was not just quarter notes. I tapped: quarter note–8th note, 8th note–quarter note.  (One, Two-and Three.) Not hard, right?

Lydia tried about three times before giving up. Since I had literally ALL the time in the world, I decided that we would not do anything until she got it right. For the next hour and a half, she screamed, rolled on the floor, pushed furniture, and pounded things while I clapped and tapped out that rhythm on everything in sight. Mary, on the other hand, tried the ENTIRE time to tap the rhythm. Any time I tried a new surface, Mary crawled to it and tapped or clapped her own version of the rhythm. Each time this happened, I ecstatically praised Mary until Lydia competitively banged out her own attempt. Suuuuch bad parenting, I know.

About half an hour into the fiasco, Lydia did manage to pound something on the table that sounded like the rhythm, but the two middle notes were uneven and unconvincing, so I made a split second decision and told her she was really, really close, but that she could do even better. If I sound like a Nazi, I promise, I did not yell at Lydia or say demeaning things to her. (My dad did that a lot during piano practice, so I hope I know what lines never to cross.) All I did was encourage, hug, praise, kiss and cuddle Lydia, but I did resolve that we would not end the session until she got it right.

Finally, after an hour and a half, I grabbed Lydia’s hands (I had tried multiple times to do this earlier, but she resisted) and clapped the rhythm with her hands for her. It was getting close to nap time and the girls needed food session #4 of the day (Abe eats every two hours as a grown adult male, and the girls seem to have his metabolism, so they eat frequently), and I was starting to question the wisdom of my resolve. So I helped Lydia do it right and then called it good.

Now I’m all in a tizzy about whether this session was a good or bad thing. I think I am leaning toward “bad” because two  is a little young to start this type of music training. Maybe until age four or five it should just be all fun and games, and no real demands should be placed on the child. But then part of me thinks that if Lydia is going to master the piano, she needs to put in 10,000 hours, and the sooner she starts, the better.

We then trekked downstairs to decompress with the banana swirl “ice cream” Lydia had started making before our rhythm debacle. She peeled and broke the bananas into small pieces, I froze them, and then after our session, I put them in the food processor and pushed “on.” That’s all there is to it, and the ice cream was amazing. Daniel Tiger makes this ice cream on his show and it looked easy, so I thought, why not? After their snack, I cleaned up the kitchen as fast as I could (not fast enough for Mary, who was screaming by the time I finished) and shuttled the girls to bed.

It could have been such a happy day if I had not done that rhythmic exercise with Lydia. Here are snapshots from the morning:

Today I went for a jog/walk in the morning because a) my husband is awesome and urged me to go, even though he had to watch the kids, get ready for work, and pay bills all at the same time  b) it was my favorite type of weather outside: slightly overcast in the 70’s (?? — whatever temp it is when you don’t need a sweater but you can still run without feeling like the heat is out to get you).

The clouds were being especially dramatic. Because I am always sure The End Is Near, I thought the formation of the clouds meant there was a tornado forming, but actually the clouds just wanted to be swirly and big today.

Then I cleaned the house for two hours while Mary napped and Lydia did…this:

This is the room post-clean-up. You wouldn’t have wanted me to take this picture before then.

During my clean-up, I: vacuumed the entire downstairs, scrubbed down the kitchen, disinfected the upstairs bathroom, straightened up everywhere and organized the kitchen closet.

You might think this is the before picture, but you would be wrong. The before picture was so bad that I didn’t think to take a picture–I just started cleaning. (We have limited closet space in this house, so this closet really works hard, poor thing.)

Then Lydia announced she was hungry, so I quickly fed her pizza and applesauce before our play date with Sarah, Nathan and Hannah. She was still in her pj’s when they arrived at 11, and so I had to change her into actual clothes during the play date.

I love Hannah. When she was born, I was still pregnant with Mary, and  I remember hoping that my baby would turn out half as sweet and cute as Hannah!

Mary woke up half way through the play date. We have started doing her hair in this top knot, and when we take the elastic out before her bath, the hair stays exactly the same! We have to double check each time to make sure we actually took the elastic out.

After the play date, I picked up Lydia’s room for the first time in two days. I could almost hear the toys and books thanking me.

After our play date, I fed the girls lunch, cleaned the kitchen (again), cleaned Lydia’s room, read them a couple books and put them down for naps at 3pm. Then I read my scriptures, wrote in my journal, worked on the blog, wasted time on the internet, and read a little from the book, Far From the Tree by Andrew Solomon. I read the chapter on criminality and how parents deal with kids who turn out to be criminals. I sincerely hope that cross is never mine to bear.

Then Mary woke up, so we played and read books until my brother and sister-in-law called. They wanted to video-chat with the girls, so Lydia woke up and we all chatted for a bit. They are the most doting, sweet, and affirming aunt and uncle ever, and the girls just love them. When tech problems interrupted our chat, Lydia kept asking if we could keep talking to “Uncle Cwark and Aunt Swafi” (Uncle Clark and Aunt Swathi).

After that, we piled into the car to return Nathan’s toys he had left at our house and then went grocery shopping. Then we came home, and as we were pulling into the drive, Lydia rhymed! She had been singing the “We dove in the ocean” song, and the verses all rhyme with the word, “tide”. So as we were pulling into the drive, Lydia made up this verse completely on her own: “We dove in our ho-ome and want to go inside.” I was so proud of her!

Then we ate dinner and too many graham crackers with Nutella (Abe had to work late tonight and did not come home until after bed time). Then I did a cursory cleaning of the kitchen and hauled the girls upstairs for their baths.  About half hour into book time before bedtime, I ran downstairs to get Mary’s bottle, and on the way up I heard the sweetest conversation I have ever heard in my life. Mary had crawled to the baby gate and was crying at the top of the stairs because I was gone.

Lydia said, “It’s okay, Mary. Mama will be back soon. Do you love your mama, Mary? She is so nice. See, I told you she would be back soon.”

I about died of happiness right on the spot. After hearing that, it was kisses and cuddles and singing and rocking and more kisses and cuddles (and almost as many books as Lydia wanted) until bed time. I still have to clean up the kitchen again, but I will do so with a light heart tonight. I am so happy to know my love is reciprocated!

Did I mention Lydia will eat anything? As in, two days before we were supposed to board a flight for India, she swallowed the top of a nail clipper. (It came out the morning of our flight, thank goodness.) Tonight, while she was home with the babysitter, she guzzled nail polish remover. After we debriefed with poison control (and came home early from our date), we sat Lydia down and grilled her about if/how much nail polish she drank. Lydia cheerfully replied that she’d drunk the whole bottle and had a bad feeling in her tummy. She then smiled and took a big bite out of the crayon she was coloring with. Clearly, she loved all the attention, and I can hardly recall a time when she has been so cheerful and charming. We think she is going to be fine.

So, about the date! Abe’s mom sits on the board of directors for the Utah Chamber Artists, and tonight was their benefactor concert, so we got to go! The music was transcendent. Have you ever wondered what it must be like to be God and have everyone praying and demanding things of you–all at once? This piece is an incredible attempt at imagining that scenario: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqZ9Eec6PkA. And this piece was my absolute favorite–a spiritual/musical high that reduced the audience to one big puddle of emotion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST67T386rcs

So much excitement after 6:30pm! But before that, we spent exactly ten (glorious) minutes outside of our house. I basically fed, played with, and read to the girls all day inside. And actually, even though that doesn’t sound super exciting, it felt wonderful. Normally on Mondays I disinfect all the bathrooms, vacuum, change the sheets, dust and pick up everywhere. Today I did none of that (although I did fold three loads of laundry that had been sitting in their baskets since Saturday). It felt great to just say, “You know what? Today I AM going to spend quality time with my kids!”

Here are some pics from the day: