Author: lilydarais

On Thursday Ammon and Clarissa took an unexpectedly long nap. Even though I had barely slept the night before, I did not nap with them because I started going through old blogs.

Going through old blogs opened my eyes to a couple things. First of all, I have a great life! I wish I could go back in time and tell myself that, because it seems like in some blogs, I have trouble comprehending that.

Also, I feel so stupid for going to cooking school. I had such an incredible life and all I wanted to do was…go to cooking school?  I look back at those baby pictures of Lydia and Mary and wish I could just have another second with those two darling little girls.

Ironically, even though I feel stupid for going to cooking school, I wish I took more pictures of what we eat every day. I like being able to see the day’s work, and even if the food isn’t fancy, I want to see it. I’m going to try to take more pictures of food I make.

Finally, Thursday was a no good horrible very bad day, but looking through those blogs helped me think that maybe life wasn’t as bad as I thought.

Also, my mom was a huge help and did all of the driving Thursday so that Ammon and Clarissa could keep sleeping. Abe’s being gone was hard on her too. She helped so much that she got sick and lost her voice.

I was really happy for Thursday to be over.

Gosh, my children are so great but there are so many of them that I really don’t take time to appreciate them during the day. Mostly I think about how great they are after they are in bed and I can lie here and regret all of the unkind things I did during the day.

Lydia has such a pure, honest, completely guileless heart. She is also SO affectionate and loves to receive affection. Sadly, I rarely give her that affection and most of the time I am barking at her to quiet down or do this or stop that. (In my sort of defense, she is also really loud.)

Mary is over-the-top charming and has so many delightful mannerisms, and tonight I was really mean to her. I blamed her for getting a nose bleed. It happened this way: She was throwing a tantrum, I was crazed trying to get all four kids down, and I was yelling at her to stop crying because, I yelled, I couldn’t and wouldn’t care about her problem until she calmed down and told me what the matter was. She, of course, cried harder and ended up with a nose bleed.

At that point, Ammon was in bed crying and coughing –to the point of choking and gagging–because I hadn’t given him long enough “scratchies” (back scratches) to fall asleep, I was holding a wide-awake, hungry and quite-possibly-ill Clarissa, and I was sweating up feverish rivulets all up and down my body. (I have had a fever almost all day.)

So, instead of handling this situation calmly, I took one look at all the blood on the bed and Mary and freaked out. I yelled at Mary and then went to take care of Ammon before putting down Clarissa and returning back to Mary. When I got to the room, Lydia said, “I wish this had never happened. I know not to give myself nosebleeds, but Mary doesn’t have the same life experience as I do, so she just doesn’t know.”

At that point, I laughed and calmed down a little. It was so funny hearing Lydia refer to her “life experience.” I ended up washing all of the blood off, and I hope Mary has enough warmth from her cover to stay well through the night.

On a positive note, Ammon seems to be getting slightly better. He was well enough to only take a short nap, and he pooped twice as much as usual, so maybe he’s pooping out his sickness. I sure hope so.

On another positive note, during the solitary hour that he and Clarissa napped simultaneously, I managed to make a big dent in our book club novel. It’s a murder mystery called Sister. It’s surprisingly well written, though somewhat slow.

 

Ammon is sick. I am sick. Clarissa appears to be on the brink of getting sick.

Abe left for another work trip today and won’t be back until Friday.

Needless to say, I am relegating this day to the trash heap of life.

My mom was a big help, and I am super grateful for that. She did a TON of work today, and it would have been even crazier without her.

I just hope that tonight I get to sleep a lot and recover so I can function tomorrow.

Goodybye, October 24, 2017. See you again never.

Oh, and my mom took some cute pictures:

 

On Sunday I stayed home from church with Ammon and Clarissa because Ammon was sick. I spent most of the day trying not to think about the upcoming week. Abe is leaving on Tuesday again and won’t be back until Friday. Ugh. I really hate it when he’s gone.

For FHE we all watched Curious George’s Halloween Boo Fest. I bought it the other day and the kids love it. They really wanted us to see it. The movie was cute, but mostly I liked cuddling with the kids on the couch.

On Saturday the girls did their music practice and then we headed to Salt Lake.

First we went to the farmer’s market.

After walking around enjoying all of the stalls, we picked up some raclette sandwiches and empanadas, which we ate en route to the Clark Planetarium. We really hustled as we walked to the planetarium because Mary had to go to the potty, and I had not brought any extra pants. Luckily we made it in time!

At the planetarium we met up with Joe, Camille, and Annie, their six month old daughter. Joe is on Abe’s team and is selling to a client that produced the movie, Dream Big. It was playing in the planetarium’s IMAX, so we all watched it. We absolutely loved the movie! It’s intended to inspire kids to become engineers, and I loved every second. The girls enjoyed it but remain committed to their former career aspirations of being artists, paleontologists, mothers, grandmothers, and, in Mary’s case, a vet.

I actually think Lydia would make a great engineer and hope the movie planted a little seed. It was so inspiring and well done. (Also, Abe and I loved the soundtrack because it had a lot of Matisyahu, practically our favorite singer.)

On Friday I promised the girls I would take them to Wee Witches at Gardner Village. Our harp and piano practices took a whole lot longer than anticipated, so we got a late start and had to cancel a play date so I could keep my promise.

By the time we got there, I started to think I should have postponed keeping my promise. Ammon woke up from his car nap so sick, and it was freezing outside. But since we had driven all that way and I didn’t know when I would get a chance to make the drive again, I hauled the kids around anyway. The girls enjoyed it, at least.

Also, Abe got home at midnight!! I was counting down the hours all day long. It was so great to have him home.

On Thursday we had a huge day. We had a lot of activities, and I have to say that the kids were incredibly well-behaved, start to finish. I was so proud of them.

We started off with a 9am doctor appointment for Mary, Ammon, and Clarissa.

After that appointment, we headed to Thanksgiving point to the Scarecrow Festival. It is Fall Break, and so it seemed that all of Utah Valley had the same idea. We waited in line for a while before finally making it in.

The scarecrows were so fun! Too bad my phone was dead or I could have taken some pictures. When we reached the top of the hill, we found a bench and ate lunch. Again, I can not overstate how good the kids were. The girls wanted to play in the bounce houses and roll down the hill, but because Clarissa was strapped to me and I couldn’t imagine how I would get Ammon back up the hill and out of the insanely crowded bounce houses, I said no.

The girls did not beg or insist. Instead, they just sat next to me and quietly ate their lunches while watching all of the kids play. Ammon was, as usual, tired and hungry, and he also focused on eating while watching everyone play. I was so grateful to my kids for being so quiet and sweet.

Then we headed over to the secret garden. We read  The Secret Garden to the girls after Ammon was born, and they were excited to see a real secret garden.

The best part, though, was taking the kids through the sculpture garden of Jesus. There were a ton of bronze, life-size sculpture scenes from the life of Jesus, and we talked about each scene and what we can learn from the life of Jesus. We all felt the Spirit and the girls wanted me to walk through the garden again and tell them the stories again when we were through. By that point, we had been walking for hours, and I hadn’t nursed Clarissa since the morning, so I had to say no. I can’t wait to take them back, though. It was such a special experience.

After that, we walked through the waterfall garden en-route to the exit, and then we came home so I could finally attend to Clarissa and sit down. (I had been up since 5am.)

After I rested and ate, we headed out again to Qualtrics. Even though Abe is gone, he arranged for us to get flu shots at the flu clinic yesterday. I took all four kids and again, they were all PERFECT. I was grateful, grateful, grateful. It could have been so hard to fill out all of those forms if the kids had been in a crazy mood, but they were demure and calm and again sat quietly next to me while I got all of the paperwork out of the way. None of them made a peep during their shots and afterward talked about how they love flu shots because they get suckers. (Actually, they had been begging to go get their shots all day because they remembered that after the shots they get suckers.)

Anyway, after that was over, I again decided to Jimmy Johns it and feed everyone in the car. To give the kids more time to eat, we drove through a car wash before coming home. When we got home, I gave people baths and got them ready for bed an hour early. Since they had a spare hour and I needed to take care of a desperate Clarissa, I planted the kids in front of the Curious George Halloween movie.

After the movie, it was bedtime.

For the record, my kids are such good kids. Sometimes Abe says, “Man, we have good kids,” and I just look back at him blankly. In my mind I am usually picturing the latest tantrum or fight, and I can’t usually quite muster up a genuinely affirmative response to his enthusiastic gush.

But I am going on record to say Abe is always right and my hesitations are wrong. My kids are amazing. Abe has been gone most of the week and he will be gone all of next week, and the fact that I am not completely broken down is a tribute to how easy they have made it on me. I am so grateful for their goodness and am so, so happy they’re mine!!!

I have been going to bed as soon as I can for a week–and have neglected this blog in the process. Not only that, but I feel overwhelmed at the prospect of back-blogging. I have so many pictures, and it always feels like a chore to upload them.

BUT! My phone has died, and Abe is away on a work trip with my charger, so that relieves the pressure for the pictures. I can’t upload anything without my phone, so why stress out about it? And so I am just going to blog as much as I can before the kids wake up and upload all of the pictures later.

On Wednesday the highlight of our day was that Jessi, Henry, and Vika came over for a play date. I love Jessi, and it was so nice to have a mom to talk to on a play date. Since we now have sixteen kids on our cul-de-sac (nineteen counting the house perpendicular to the cul-de-sac), I have not made much effort in the play date department, and my mom-on-mom time has dropped. It was great to visit with Jessi, and it was also so cute to see Henry and Mary playing together.

Lydia is on a reading and coloring streak, so she spent the time coloring and reading.

Mary had a piano recital in the evening, and the teacher’s notes indicate it went well. We have certainly put a lot of work into her piano, and her practice time has skyrocketed since Ammon learned to watch TV. I was very proud of her.

Other than that, I spent most of the day cleaning and baking pumpkin bread. Ammon, who has largely given up naps, took a SIX HOUR NAP yesterday. I was starting to fear he had died by the time he finally woke up.

My mom had a good day. It was largely taken up by talking to my older brother on the phone and helping him sort out some things. My mom also went to her exercise class and her religion class, and I think she had a pretty good day.

On the Abe front, his meetings in Peoria went well, and we had a lot of time talking on the phone in the evening. He is the best, and I miss him so much. I can’t wait until he comes home tomorrow.

 

Tuesday Abe left for his work trip, so I decided to skip feeding the kids dinner at home and fed them Jimmy John’s in the car after Lydia’s climbing camp. When we got home, I just threw everyone in the bath and got them to bed as fast as possible. Since Clarissa spends the time I’m with the other kids crying, we try to fly through the potty-bath-teeth-pajamas routine.

Scripture study at night took a hit. Instead of reading from the Book of Mormon, I have just had the kids recite D&C 6:36: ” Look unto me in every thought. Doubt not, fear not.”

On Monday I went to parent-teacher conferences for Lydia. The most amazing thing happened there. While the teacher was talking to me about Lydia, she looked at Lydia and said, “She’s behind in reading.”

Part of me wanted to cover Lydia’s ears (not to mention my ears) when she said this. I have practically killed myself–and maybe Lydia too, eep–trying to teach her to read for these past years, and she has flat out refused. This year I had given up. I figured we are sending her to an amazing school, and I was going to leave the problem up to them. I already fight the harp battle daily with Lydia, and the reading battle was just too much fighting with my little six-year old daughter. I want, after all and most of all, to have a loving relationship with her.

HOWEVER, when the teacher said this to Lydia, something sparked in her. She went right home after the conference and did nothing but read for two straight days. I mean, she had other activities she had to do, like go to school and attend her extra curriculars, but she has filled every free moment with reading.

She told Abe in the car, “Dad, the teacher said I’m behind in reading and I’m just not going to let that happen.”

She also told me that she had noticed other kids checking out chapter books, and she checks out easy books. She wants to be like the other kids and check out the chapter books.

We are so, so proud of Lydia. Watching her tackle something that is very challenging for her with such grit and determination brings such joy to our hearts. I told her that the teachers pegged me as a lower reader when I was in first and second grade, but one day in middle school I decided I was going to read all of the classics, and by the end of high school, I had almost completed that personal goal.

In the Book of Mormon Christ says,  ” And if men come unto me I will show them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me, and have faith in me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

In Christ, we can do all things. I know it, and I can’t wait to talk through and witness this process with my daughter.