Author: lilydarais

Today we all had fantastic days. Abe gave a great presentation to his region, had a wonderful one-on-one with Lucas, and got some great work done on one of his Big Deals.

My mom finally got back into pilates and had a great time. She also was incredibly helpful with the kids today and made the afternoon peaceful by dropping off Mary and picking up the girls. Lydia asked to do her homework with Nana, and my mom obliged. We have a head start on tomorrow. She also attended her evening institute class, and I can hear that she arrived home safely. (I get worried because I don’t like it when she’s out alone after dark.)

I had a great day too. My toe continues to feel better, although I can tell it’s still broken. It must not be a bad break, though, because I can do pretty much everything without pain. It only hurts if I try to bend it a certain way.

The most important thing, though: The girls were ANGELS. I mean, seriously, they were over-the-top sooooo good today. They were polite, obedient, and sweet. I took Mary, Ammon and Clarissa to the library in the morning, and Mary patiently took Ammon around the stacks while I scoured the shelves for self-help books. Every time she came back to me, she’d ask if I needed her to do one more lap. She said graciously, “Take your time” and then made untold numbers of laps around the stacks while I tried to figure out which books would turn me into a better mom.

However, Ammon was a disaster. While I was doing Mary’s piano practice yesterday, he took a stick of butter and spread it carefully over the kitchen floor with a spatula. I thought that was bad, but today during her practice I discovered him lobbing over-ripe avocados like grenades all over the kitchen. After his nap (thank goodness he napped!!!), I took him outside because I think he is missing his natural habitat. The time outside seemed to really help. He covered himself in tomato juice, dirt, and yucky water that pooled in various places around the yard. He was so happy.

I have been carrying Clarissa around in the Solly wrap all day. She adores it and never fusses when she’s in it. Honestly, she hardly fusses anyway, but she’s particularly non-fussy in the Solly. It was invented by one of my favorite mission companion’s sister-in-law! I had forgotten that, but I follow a Facebook group of mission friends, and that came up in discussion recently. I have been loving the Solly wrap because Clarissa loves it so much, but now I love it even more.

My toe was better today! I couldn’t even believe it. I can still feel a little pain, but it got progressively better throughout the day. Right now I am sitting on my foot and can’t feel a thing. I am so, so, so relieved and grateful.

We also had a realization about Lydia today. This evening she spent hours–literally, hours–screaming and crying because we misplaced a green crayon of hers. She has several boxes of crayons, but she was doing a numbers puzzle and wanted to keep the green color consistent. I was frustrated and tried my best to stay out of the way and keep my mouth shut, lest I let her know what I thought of her tantrum.

My mom and Abe were much more accommodating, and at 9pm, Abe finally found a green that matched her green exactly. Then he came to me and said quietly, “We need to be really compassionate towards Lydia. She has OCD.”

The thought that Lydia has OCD has been percolating in my mind for a short while now, and I even told my brother and Swathi this afternoon that I thought she had it. But hearing Abe say that with such certainty switched a lightbulb on in my head. After all, Abe has OCD, so he should know what he’s talking about. Also, knowing that Lydia is dealing with something many grown-ups can’t handle makes me feel automatically a lot more sympathetic.

Normally, her fits drive me absolutely crazy. In fact, I am actively searching for therapist referrals and have about a thousand pages of self-help reading lined up so I can more lovingly deal with her behavior. But tonight was a turning point in my own journey with Lydia. It helps to know that she is even more overwhelmed than we are with what’s going on in her brain.

Also, when she’s not melting down, I have to say that Lydia can be the most delightful child. She has the purest, most sincere, loving heart, and all she wants is to be loved in return. I am hoping that therapy and self-help books can help me better communicate just how much she means to me. She means everything.

The day started out really great today. I felt good enough to drive the kids where they needed to go, I stayed calm through Lydia’s harp and reading practice (although, I have to say, the fact that my mom has been doing Lydia’s harp practice was probably the determining factor in that outcome), and everything was running according to plan. Ammon even took a nap!

And then it all went downhill. After I dropped the girls off at tumbling and ballet, I was feeling pretty great about life. When I was about to take Ammon in the house, he escaped to the backyard. Eli, Clarissa and I followed. Since Eli was there, I went in to get my nursing cover and then attempted to drag one of our super heavy table chairs to the lawn. It wouldn’t drag, so I lifted it up…and then dropped it on my toe.

My toe broke. Now, I know this is not the end of the world. I am not a refugee, I am not a hurricane victim, I am not a slave or oppressed in any sort of way.

Nevertheless, this is one of the worst days of my life. I feel despair. I can not believe that I can not walk (without a ton of pain, at least)…again. It was one thing to be on bedrest when there were a ton of cheap, wonderful babysitters around and Clarissa was still on the inside. It is a whole different story to be on bedrest when I have to nurse Clarissa around the clock, chase Ammon, bus the kids places throughout the day, keep Ammon from killing himself, do a TON of laundry (because, cloth diapers), change Clarissa’s diapers, change Ammon’s diapers, clean up after Ammon, figure out what everyone is going to eat at every meal, and, Ammon.

I am ready for Ammon to be out of his destructive phase, and I am ready for him to be done teething. I am, in fact, ready for Ammon to be fully cognitively developed, potty trained, and able to hold reasonable conversations. I love him so much, and this stage is so cute, but I’m done. Can I please get off the mommy train? At least until my toe is healed and I can walk again? Please?

No? Okay, in that case, I am going to go to bed and pray to God my toe heals before Clarissa wakes up hungry in the middle of the night.

Sunday is not over yet, but I am blogging now because everyone but Clarissa and I are at church, and in the evenings I don’t have access to my computer because Lydia and Mary listen to audiobooks from it. If I don’t blog now, I fear I will get behind yet again and have to do yet another full week back-log next weekend.

Not much has happened today, except that Clarissa had an epic poop. This blow-out was like nothing Abe had ever seen. The poop went from her ankles to her shoulders, and her diaper looked like Hurricane Harvey had hit it. Sadly, she was wearing a paper diaper, and so the poop got everywhere. Cloth diapers prevent these types of blow outs, but I think Abe has learned a lot from this experience. I personally have switched to only cloth diapers because I hate having to deal with blow-outs. I think Abe is going to start doing that too after this.

Newborns are supposed to poop five to seven times a day. Clarissa poops once a day, but she packs it all into that one event. Usually her poop is preceded by hours of grunting, and after her poop she is so exhausted she sleeps for hours. Sometimes the event is so explosive that it scares her, she screams, and then she falls asleep. Today she just fell asleep and it smeared all over her Mamaroo while Abe was in the shower.

I slept through it all because I was up with Clarissa all night. She started grunting at 12:30, and she did not go back to sleep until after 4am. Abe and my mom worked so hard this morning as I caught up on sleep before church. I am so grateful!

On Saturday afternoon Lydia had a harp rehearsal, Mary had a birthday party, and Lucas and Kim had a gender-reveal party. Abe and I got seriously stressed out trying to coordinate everything. We dropped off Mary almost an hour late because we got lost in Vineyard, a new suburb that is soooo confusing (it has TWO Center Streets!!).

At the gender-reveal party, we had to leave before they finished batting down the piñata because we were already late picking Mary up. That was embarrassing and stressful, but I loved seeing all of our Qualtrics friends.

And we were so stressed out by it all that we didn’t take a single picture. But at least our house is not flooded. With all of the hurricanes battering the Caribbean, Texas and Florida, we should be counting our blessings instead of feeling stressed by little things that don’t matter. It’s hard to comprehend that as I sit in my sunny spot by the window, typing and gazing at Mt. Timpanogos, there are people losing everything down south. I wish I could do more than pray for them, but it’s all I can do right now.

God, please bless the people suffering through these storms. Look after their individual needs and respond to their cries for help. Please comfort them, restore their homes and cities quickly, and spare their lives and the lives of their loved ones. Jesus, who calmed the storm, please calm this storm. In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

 

On Friday I had a great day, even considering the measly four hours of sleep Clarissa gave me the night before. I did a million loads of laundry and put it ALL away, did Mary’s piano with her, tidied the house, fed Clarissa around the clock, and continued training Ammon on how to eat at the table with everyone else. (Until Thursday he ate from his high chair.)

My mom sorted our emergency prep stuff in the garage. With all of the storms and earthquakes going on, she has kicked up preparations into high gear. She also was so helpful with the kids yesterday. When I got home with all of the kids after picking up Mary and Lydia, Mary had wet her carseat, the baby was crying, and Ammon was covered in ice cream (we stopped at Dairy Queen en route). My mom took care of Mary so I could wipe down Ammon and feed the baby. Without my mom, I would probably have to let Clarissa scream while I wiped down Ammon and showered off Mary. I am so grateful for my mom!

Abe continued to be sick, but he managed to still have a productive day at work. He actually had chest pains from all of the stress at work on top of his illness. I am starting to get concerned he is going to have a heart attack before the age of forty.

 

 

 

On Thursday I accompanied Lydia to her harp lesson for the first time since June. I am so grateful we have the kids down for bed at a reasonable time these days because her 6:30am harp lesson would be really difficult otherwise.

We had a pretty normal day after that. Lydia went to school, Mary did piano, Ammon made chaos everywhere, and Abe continued to be really sick. We hope he gets better soon.

Here are some pictures from Clarissa’s photo shoot:

On Wednesday Abe stayed after work to golf with Lucas. With the new changes at Qualtrics, Lucas is now going to be in charge of ten teams, and Abe’s chance to get one-on-one time with him at work is going to shrink a lot. So even though Abe was practically dying of his illness, he stayed late to play with Lucas. They had a great time, and I think the sunshine and being away from all of the home chaos (er, Ammon) was good for Abe.

I was so proud of myself at home! I got the kids ged, bathed, and in bed by 7pm. My mom was really helpful on the cleaning front, so by 7pm we were done for the day! I love it when the day ends early, especially since it basically starts at 3am (for Clarissa and me, at least).

Here are some photos from Clarissa’s photo shoot:

On Tuesday while Lydia was climbing, my mom, the kids and I went to Kid to Kid and got emergency-prep outfits for the kids. Turns out the boots were full of carcinogens from China, so those got returned. But otherwise the kids are prepared for the big earthquake.

Abe was really, really sick on Tuesday. He barely slept at all on Monday night, and on Tuesday he could barely function. I know this sickness is because he works sooo hard at work AND at home for our family. He has simply over-exerted, and I feel so sorry for him.

 

Monday was Labor Day, and Abe got to stay home for the day. He went on a seven mile run in the morning with the kids. He stopped in the middle of his run to feed the ducks with the kids, and to have a picnic. Clarissa, Mary and I drove to meet Ammon, Lydia and him at the pond. (Lydia and Mary had to take turns riding in the buddy bubble on the run because it only fits two.)

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Unfortunately, all of the exertion left Abe so depleted that he got really sick and stayed pretty sick for the rest of the week. It was a sunshiny, happy start to the week, though!