Author: lilydarais

On Saturday the kids woke up and discovered all of the presents. Before they opened them Lydia made about fifty yummy pancakes–which lasted all weekend long. I am hoping to never flip a pancake again as long as Lydia lives with us.

Then we loaded into the car and headed to the Murdock Trail to bike, scooter, and walk together. I can’t tell if Ammon or Lydia took the selfie below, but it looks like it might have been Lydia.

On the trail it was so so hot. We went all the way to my favorite type of place–the cemetery–before turning around. Mary was totally scared to bike down the hill on the path and when I was running beside her she crashed. Abe was much more proactive about helping her not crash and as a result on the way back she inched down the hill with Abe only letting go for a few seconds at a time. It took about twenty minutes while Ammon and Lydia zipped up and down the hill and Clarissa and I waited in the shade.

On the way to and from the trail we practiced Spanish, French, German and Italian together. Lydia and I have been watching polyglot videos and she and I have started doing tutoring sessions on Verbling in addition to our Pimsleur German and Tagalog classes. While we were listening to stories in Italian and waiting for snow cones, Clarissa fell asleep. She was happy to wake up to everyone eating snow cones on the porch and we took this picture of her eating hers:

Here is a video:

Then everyone rested before reading books about blueberries and blueberry pies. Then we baked two blueberry pies.

Then we played endless rounds of Otrio. I bought it at the beginning of Covid and we had never played it until Saturday. It is basically a more complicated version of tic tac toe, and Abe and I were in absolute disbelief about how hard this game was for us. We would verbally coach ourselves to do the simplest things and we would still lose! All we had to do was keep track and make sure the person after us couldn’t Otrio and then set ourselves up to Otrio, but maybe because of the colors or pieces we could never keep track of the person after us–even when we were verbally coaching ourselves to do those two simple things. At one point Abe said, “First check Mary. Mary can not Otrio. Now check myself. Myself can not Otrio.” At this, Lydia laughed so hard she wet her pants. We were all laughing so hard. And then–Mary won!! Abe said he had never laughed so hard in a game.

After we finally went to bed, Lydia surprised us all by sleepwalking for the first time ever. She came down and had totally pleasant conversations with Abe and me, but she was clearly sleepwalking because she said things like, “I am leading with my paw,” and then after peeing asked Abe where the soap was.

“It’s right there, Lydia, in front of you.”

“No, dad. I mean the soap to wash my hair.”

At that point Abe asked Lydia if she was awake. She looked at him for a minute, smiled dazedly and said yes. Then she came in and had a conversation with me that had me wondering if she was sleepwalking too. I asked her if she wanted melatonin and when Abe ran some up to her room literally two minutes later, she was already conked out in the bed. The next day she had no memory whatsoever of these conversations so we are pretty sure she was sleepwalking.

Lydia did not know whether to be delighted or freaked out about the fact that she sleepwalked and spent the next day mulling it over trying to figure it out.

This Labor Day weekend was the best one any of us have ever had. Each of the older kids declared repeatedly that whatever day we were on was “the best day ever” and that they were having the most fun they have ever had. As a mom, there is nothing that makes me happier than hearing my kids say stuff like that.

We toyed with the idea of camping somewhere this weekend, but campsites in the Tetons are hard to come by and with Covid everything just seems complicated and risky. So we ended up staying home and playing with our kids every day. We started off the mornings by wrapping games, puzzles, and activities for them to open. We promised them that we would play the games and do the activities with them. Some of the stuff we already had around the house but hadn’t played much, but other stuff was new for the weekend.

Also, today was Mary’s first day at school! I was keeping her home because I liked the extra time to work one on one with her and to get all of her stuff done before Lydia gets home, but Mary was getting really frustrated with the online school assignments. On Thursday she ended up sobbing in front of the screen, so I emergency emailed the teacher and begged her to take Mary in. Then Friday morning we showed up and begged in person. Her teacher was so so so accommodating and let Mary start even though she didn’t have anything ready for her. But Chelsea’s twins are in Mary’s class so they immediately took Mary under their wing and showed her all around and told her what to do. They are absolutely adorable and when Carter twinkled at me and waved I just melted. What good kids, and I am so thankful Mary had those kind boys to help her get oriented.

During the kids’ tennis lesson, Ammon and Clarissa played again on the playground.

After we did our thing where we parked the car right in front of the court and played tennis together until way past the kids’ bedtimes. Lydia spent most of that time under a bright light by the court reading, and the rest of the kids sat quietly in the car watching. It was unbelievable how good they were. I am so grateful for them for giving Abe and me the chance to have such fun. They are such good kids.

Wednesday started off with the sweetest moment. I peeked into my closet to see Ammon sitting there quietly smiling to himself. When he saw me, he kind of hugged himself and whispered, “I had the most wonderful dream!”

“Aw, what happened?” I asked, delighted.

“I flied!!” he said, his eyes sparkling. Here is a video of him talking about it.

I about died of cuteness overload. And then I ran my phone and tried to recreate the moment by asking him to repeat himself for the video. It wasn’t quite the same, but I just never wanted to forget the magic of having my four year old tell me he had a wonderful dream where ”he flied.”

On Tuesday we had so much fun as a family in the afternoon. First we watched Ammon practice soccer, which is hilarious and all around highly entertaining. Well, at least I think so. The girls got bored and started playing hide and seek around the edge of the field, and Abe joined them.

Then we walked across the field to the tennis court where all the kids took their second tennis lesson. Ammon and Clarissa’s attention spans didn’t quite hold so they played in the playground while I watched them.

Then when the lesson was over, we all stayed after and played tennis together. Abe and I had parked the car right next to the court so we were actually able to play with each other while Ammon and Clarissa waited (very patiently, I must say) in the car. We could see them the whole time, and they could see us, so maybe that’s why they didn’t cry or complain? I don’t know why they were so good for that long, but I’ll take it. It was SO fun to play with Abe, and I can’t believe we haven’t ever played tennis in our ten years of marriage!

The only picture Abe took was this one he took at the psychologist’s today. We are getting a new psychologist’s for him, Lydia and me, and I am also getting a psychiatrist. I don’t know why Abe took this picture, but later when we were talking and I was telling him about some of my mental pain, he told me the new psychologist does EMDR, which I am very excited to try.

On Monday our next door neighbor, Paula, came over to teach Ammon and the girls how to dance. Ammon had his own lesson a couple hours before the girls because of his age and also because dancing is his favorite thing. Paula was so sweet and creative with all the kids, and I feel so lucky to have such talented neighbors.

Mary has been so good about getting her piano, school work, eye exercises, and reading practice done every day. She and Ammon have been playing so well together lately so I took a video. Truth be told, literally all of the kids want to play with Mary. Ammon and Clarissa regularly break down in–often hysterical–tears when she has to stop playing with them and go complete one of her tasks. And Lydia threw a fit just last week when Mary wouldn’t or couldn’t (I can’t remember which) play with her. Basically we all love Mary.

On Sunday morning we packed up all the kids’ bikes and scooters and went to the Utah Lake path. Mary is trying to learn how to ride a bike. She tried so hard and got two big scrapes on her knees. We we’re all so proud of her, and I was proud of Abe for all of his good coaching and pep talks. I watched the other kids and every so often I’d hear him coaching her as they zipped by us. In this video of Clarissa marveling at an ant on her hand Abe walks by, and I caught just a snippet of part of his pep talk at the end.

After the morning’s exertions were done, we did some errands and then visited my mom. We have to visit through a window because visitors are only allowed to visit two at a time outside, and it was also really hot outside. Here’s Mary showing Nana her knees.

On Saturday we drove to Bear Lake for the afternoon. On the way there we listened to The Great Brain which was so entertaining. It was like reading Tom Sawyer set in Utah. We felt like we were listening to a time capsule, and there were times Abe was laughing so hard I wondered if he could see where he was steering. The last time we listened to something everyone loved and laughed at so much was How to Train Your Dragon.

On the way back we finished the book and listened to Terry Tempest Williams’ newest book, Erosion: Essays of Undoing. After my book club I spent a lot of time thinking about what it means to connect with the land. I wrote a list of authors who would make amazing mentors on this subject, and Terry Tempest Williams is at the top. I learn so much from her, but sometimes the outrage and sorrow her work evokes are too much for me to take in large quantities. As a dissenting Mormon who passionately loves Utah, she eviscerates the white patriarchy that dominates Utah’s politics and prostitutes Utah wilderness for profit. Utah will break your heart in a million unexpected, peculiar ways. Terry Tempest Williams captures them all.

But most of the day we spent enjoying Bear Lake and feeling grateful to live close-ish to this amazing place. It’s like the most incredible toddler pool imaginable. The shallow part of the lake extends soooooooo far out, the water is a clear, gorgeous color, and the sand is smooth and perfect for sandcastles. The Caribbean blue color of the lake is so startling against the ring of desert mountains around it. You feel like it shouldn’t exist, but since it does it feels like a special gift–an ecological nod to human children and their play.

And, though this has nothing to do with ecology, we love the chocolate raspberry shakes in the nearby store so much. Bear Lake is just fun.

After Monday’s meltdown, I was very, very easy on myself Tuesday. Abe and I had a looong talk about the purpose of life and parenting. Those talks always help me. I realized (again, sigh) that the purpose of parenting should be to help my children lead happy lives. I think a lot can go into that, but at the end of the day it isn’t too complicated either. And if I want them to be happy and kind to themselves I should probably model happiness and self-compassion myself.