Author: lilydarais

On Thursday Abe’s flight didn’t arrive until late in the evening, and since I knew I had the evening routine to do by myself, I took the kids to the Tulip Festival. I figured they could wear themselves out running around and then bedtime would be a bit easier.

Clarissa LOVED the tulips and kept running at top speed (careening, really) down the paths to point delightedly at different flowers that caught her attention. She was entranced. Mary, whose favorite thing to do is take care of Clarissa, followed her delightedly, steering her, holding her hand, and cooing proudly at her. Ammon wanted to be independent and so kept trying to wander off. Lydia brought paper and a pen with her and spent the whole time writing poetry everywhere. In between writing poems she would exclaim how her head was filled with words and how inspired she felt by everything. These are the poems she wrote:

The Tulip

The tulip mostly ruby red

Makes a dreamy feeling in your head.

It smells so very, very sweet.

Birds come to it, tweet, tweet, tweet.

I love the tulip, as you can see.

I love the tulip, now it’s we.

The Tree

The tree is the tallest of them all.

It would take some might to make it fall

Wise and old it can be,

Super firm, as you can see.

I love the tree.

I hope you love the tree.

The Stream

The stream is very, very thin.

It’s very cold when touched by skin.

Sometimes very, very green,

Others, the color of a bean.

Smooth and fish-filled it may be.

If you love it, you can see

Why it’s calling out to me.

Lydia actually wrote more poems, but these are the ones I can find. I know she wrote one about a cloud but that must be lost somewhere.

Anyway, I loved that Lydia was so happy. After the first initial rush of excitement, this outing became very stressful for me. Clarissa is OBSESSED with water and wanted to jump into the waterfall, and in the meantime Ammon was trying to constantly escape. Thirty minutes in (or maybe not even that much) Mary got hungry and tired and started whining incessantly. Then Ammon got tired and started crying. And I had no stroller so I had to coax the children through acres and acres of garden with just my words.

After a while I remembered a lecture one of my English professors gave in college on the transcendentalists. I forget the point of the lecture, but during it he mentioned that as we age, often we lose our ability to experience ecstasy in nature. I remember feeling horrified at the thought that one day I could experience nature without ecstasy. Well, while I was corralling all of my children, hiking back up to the parking lot and pouring sweat, I remembered that lecture and realized with horror that I was in the middle of beautiful nature and didn’t feel a thing in my soul. I started to wonder if my spirit was insensate and dulled from my faith journey.

Then I realized I had four young kids with me, no stroller, and everyone was tired and hungry. I realized that I probably still have the capacity to enjoy nature, but not in these circumstances. I could recognize it was all very pretty, and maybe if I go again (with a stroller and, preferably, Abe too), maybe I’ll get a bit of ecstasy.

In the evening I went out for pedicures with Ethline and didn’t get back until 10 pm!!! By that time Shauna, Vanessa, and Abe had all arrived at the house. It was great to see everyone.

On Tuesday I wanted to give Ammon and Clarissa some fun–and also needed to get out of the house. After Clarissa’s nap, she came downstairs and I started cleaning one mess after another. I was in the middle of sweeping up crumbs when she poured a bottle of bubble solution under the fridge, so I dropped the broom and ran over to clean that. While I was cleaning that, she dragged a chair over to the kitchen counter and got into the yogurt, so I raced away from the bubbles to clean her up.

At that point, I buckled her and Ammon into the car, raced inside to quickly finish cleaning the spills, and drove them to the Thanksgiving Point Farm. My mom was very kind and picked up the girls from school and then took Lydia to her orthodontist appointment.

Ammon and Clarissa loved riding the donkey and wandered around the farm in a state of delight. Clarissa kept pointing excitedly at all of the animals and moo-ing at them. We also went on an exceptionally pleasant buggy ride.

In the evening we got a babysitter and went out for Dairy Queen and then to tea at the Crofts’ house. Betsy messaged me after the excommunication this week and wanted to discuss faith stuff. We talked with them for HOURS and loved every minute. They specifically wanted to make sure that I knew they were my friends no matter if I left the Church. I thought that was an incredible message and felt so much love for and from these beautiful humans. I love them.

Today we thought we would sleep in because we put the kids down at 10pm last night. We grossly underestimated Lydia’s enthusiasm for holidays. She was up by 6:30am, and by 6:45 she and Mary had both discovered their baskets and scouted out where all of the eggs were hidden.

But the good news is we made it to church on time! And it was the most beautiful Sunday church I could possibly imagine. The Primary kids sang “Gethsemane” for the prelude music, we had wonderful speakers, and another great choir number in the middle. Then we had the BEST Sunday School class where we got to discuss, as a ward, the last week in the life of Jesus. It was so wonderful. I loved hearing the testimonies of my fellow ward members.

In the afternoon we finally told Lydia the truth about the Easter Bunny, Santa, and leprechauns. We weren’t very straightforward about fairies. Abe took her into the garage to tell her, and the first thing Lydia said was, “I know. I guessed because in the morning after these big holidays, you and Mom have big circles under your eyes, like you were up really late!” We thought that was cute. The rest of the evening Lydia was so excited at her knew knowledge and kind of buzzed around everywhere in a happy, excited state.

Nick and his roommate, James, joined us for Easter dinner. We discussed the last week of Jesus again for an hour. They were so delightful and I felt so blessed by their comments and insights.

Then the kids, Abe and I walked around the neighborhood delivering pansies to the families we minister to. We talked with those families and about three other families who were outside. It took over an hour, and we just enjoyed our neighbors so much.

Also, Mary wrote my mom the most beautiful note:

In the morning Abe took the kids outside with him while he built a tomato garden box. The kids appropriated it as a boat:

Then we all headed to the Springville Art Museum for Lydia’s harp recital. Lydia is still suffering from allergies and has not been sleeping very much, so she looked pretty tired and miserable at the recital. It made me wonder if we should continue, but honestly it would basically take God telling me directly to stop harp to make that kind of decision. So until then, the poor child will just have to suffer through these events.

Here is the video of her performance

Then we went to the most delightful Springville restaurant called Ginger’s Cafe with Tom and Suzanne. It was a healthfood cafe attached to a hot yoga studio, and we all LOVED it.

Afterward my mom and I picked out some toys for the Miner birthday get together while everyone else ran around the nearby park.

And then we went home and Abe headed up the egg dying activity while I napped. Thank you, Abe!

Then we drove to the Miners’ for their Easter egg hunt, which the kids had been looking forward to all week. They also celebrated March birthdays, so Lydia got another round of celebration!

Here is sleepy Clarissa being very skeptical about the idea of putting her egg in the basket.

Here is sleepy Clarissa hesitantly putting an egg in her basket.

Quick Anecdote about Lydia from today (or thereabouts):

On Friday Lydia and I went to her usual 6:30am harp lesson, and then I came home and crawled into bed for another hour and pretended that I didn’t know the morning rush was happening.

Then I finally got it together enough to take the kids to the park. Ammon, who had thrown up while twirling away to the Moana soundtrack, did not feel great on this outing. But he was still darling, as was Clarissa. At the end he told me he was about to throw up again and started to on the grass. “I think it’s time for me to go home,” he said, slightly pitifully. I felt so bad I had forced the outing and immediately toted them both home.

After I put Clarissa down for a nap and parked a lethargic Ammon in front of the Little Bear series, I headed upstairs and pounded out the rest of the first essay in the book I am trying to write.

Then in the evening after the kids went down Abe and I went out to dinner at a Provo Mexican restaurant with Matt and Emily Kahler. We ended up talking for three straight hours over dinner. It was so fun.

On Thursday Abe woke up pretty sick, but he had a lot to do at work so he went in anyway. His voice was very low and attractive all day. 🙂

I went swimming in the morning at the gym and felt so grateful and lucky to have that activity in my day.

Abe came home sick and went to bed almost right after dinner.

This morning Abe and I went on a run. I ran a mile and a half, which is not much I know, but it is huge for me. This body has pushed out four children, gained a ton of weight in the process, suffers from all sorts of pains and problems, and I can still run. I am so hugely thankful for this blessing. There was a time after having Clarissa that I would watch people run and honestly wonder whether I would ever do anything more than shuffle for the rest of my life.

Abe took Ammon fishing today while my mom, the girls and I ran errands. I loved going to the library with the two older girls–it was such a luxury not to chase Clarissa around!

Clarissa was really funny in Target, though. Halfway through she stood up in the cart seat and said, “I’m done!” with a mischievous smile on her face. I tightened the strap, buckled her firmly in and said, “No, Clarissa. We sit down in the cart!”

At that point, Clarissa let out a shriek of anger and started sobbing and screaming to everyone around, “HELP ME!! HELP ME!!!”

I about died laughing. It was so funny to see her implore the store to help her to escape from the safety of her buckle. But then I found my sympathy, unbuckled her and carried her for the rest of the time. She is so funny.

And then in the evening my mom and I went to institute with Lori Atoa. The institute class has been amazing. The woman teaching it is a church revolutionary feminist, and this last class of the semester she preached about how to practice radical doctrine in the context of real life. She talked so beautifully about how to forgive and grow in that space. I was so inspired.

Then I ran out to buy pajamas because tomorrow is pj day for Lydia and she literally does not own a single pair that fits her. I was racing to get to the store and find some for her because her bottom literally hangs out of her current pajamas. Thank goodness I found some.

Steve Young came over while my mom and I were gone and helped Abe with his golf swing, and now Abe is playing basketball with a friend.

On Tuesday Abe announced he was going to take the kids to the new How to Train Your Dragon movie. So my mom and I went too, and we got a babysitter for Clarissa.

During the day Abe had a pretty stressful, hard day at work and I finished reading The Next Mormons at home. It was kind of depressing, so I think we all were glad for a little escape.

Also, the kids stayed home sick from school again. I spent about two hours working with Lydia on the harp in the morning, and then it was nap time so I basically retired from parenting for the rest of the day. The kids watched A LOT of tv.

Oh, and in the morning my mom and I introduced Ammon to some figure skating videos. He LOVED them. We have been watching him twirl and dance and attire himself in the frilliest costumes imaginable, and it finally clicked that he might have the soul of an ice skater. We’ll see, I guess. He certainly loved the videos and now throws his leg up behind himself and extends his arms every time you mention ice skating.

On Monday I went to yoga in the morning and Abe went to work early to try to catch up on work. He had a good day at work and I also had a good day at home. I neglected the kids and actually wrote a couple pages for the book I am working on with my friend, Ashley. I realized as I wrote that the process of writing well is so different from the process of just writing whatever comes to my head (which is basically what I do every single time I blog). Trying to write well is SO HARD. But really, it feels so worth it too.

Abe must have taken this photo at some point during the day, because I found it marked for Monday in Google photos. The mountains are still covered in snow, even though it’s starting to feel like Spring.

On Sunday we ate breakfast at the hotel and then drove home from Boise. When we got back everyone was dirty–or felt dirty–after the car ride, so we put all of the kids in the bath and let them play. We wanted to take a family walk afterward but were too tired, so the kids just ran around inside until bedtime.