Author: lilydarais

I read Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness at Home today. I have a feeling I’ve read it before, but it caught my eye at the library yesterday. Some of her writing resonated strongly with me, and she made me think a lot about how to give the kids more free time. I don’t know how other kids have so much free time! I have to be a drill sergeant in order to hurry the girls through practice, homework, dinner, and getting ready for bed before they have ANY free time at all. I feel like if I let them have free time before all of that other stuff got done, they would just get increasingly tired and wouldn’t get their homework or practice done until 10pm or later.

But I wish they had more free time, I really do. So today I cut their practice down to thirty minutes, put them on a timer for homework and dinner—and even then they weren’t in their pj’s and ready for free time before 7pm!!! It’s so discouraging.

I am also worried that I am failing Ammon. He clearly needs more stimulation during the day than I can give him. I need to check out during Clarissa’s nap for my own sanity, but Ammon still hangs out next to me and asks for my attention regularly while I am either reading, cooking, sleeping (very lightly), or watching a documentary. I tried to preemptively stave off guilt by reading him a ton of books in the morning and by periodically reading to him and paying a modicum of attention to him during Clarissa’s nap, but by 1:30 my nerves were a bit thin. I was starting to find him…less charming than normal. Not because he was any less charming!! I was just worn out. So I put him in front of Amazon’s Room on the Broom (his very favorite movie in the whole world) and started cleaning and prepping dinner with some peace and quiet. Maybe I should enroll him in preschool…but then there’s the potty training issue. He adamantly refuses to potty train. So I guess I’m all he’s got for now. 🙁

On that note, this is a picture of Ammon coloring while I tried to check out.

 

Today Lydia and I had a really, really hard harp practice. I feel so guilty. I have this incredible life, and I should really have an emotional reservoir to be more patient and kind with her. I have all sorts of resolves for the future, but in the meantime…poor Lyida. At one point, she said through tears, “You’re making me deaf!”

On the other hand, Mary was absolutely perfect during piano. I was amazed at how her technique is progressing. And she was an angel all night. It seems that when one of the two older girls is misbehaving, the other one takes that as a cue to be incredible. So Mary was sweet, compliant, and darling all night.

I went to Odaka Yoga and reiki tonight after the horrible practice, and that was incredible. It helped me in changing my energy around.

Abe is in Chicago on business. We’re on the phone and since I don’t have any pictures from today, I am ending this blog now.

Tuesday was kind of a downer day for me personally because I binge ate not only once, but THREE times.

But on the upside, instead of yoga I chased around Ammon and Clarissa for an hour. It is soooooo cute to see Clarissa run away. And when I collapsed on the floor afterward, Ammon said concernedly, “Mama, are you dead? Get up, Mama!”

Another super stressful aspect of yesterday was that Lydia got a demerit in school. Her best friend was going through lockers trying to find white boards to write jokes on, and she told Lydia to help her. Lydia agreed and wrote a joke about a lost puppy on one of the boards.

One of the kids who got a message on her board started feeling scared and unsafe at school because she didn’t know who was going through her locker. Her parent called the principal, who found out by the handwriting that the culprits were Lydia and her best friend.

Lydia and her best friend admitted that they knew it was wrong to do this and that it was mean but they did it anyway. (At home, Lydia adamantly denied knowing it was mean because the joke she wrote was about a puppy.) Anyway, we were all shocked and upset that Lydia made other kids feel unsafe and scared at school. She will have no screen time at all until Christmas break, and all of the time she would have spent on the screen will now be repurposed as scripture study and also study of The Book of Virtues. At the end she will write me an essay on why it is important to choose the right and why we should be courageous with our friends.

Also Abe had to do tithing settlement until 9pm at the church, and he’s going on a trip Wednesday through Thursday, so we didn’t get to see him much. It was a day I’d be happy to forget, except for the fact that I just blogged about it and preserved it for the ages…

Mary had 50’s day at school. I can’t figure out how to do my new trick of embedding photos with these particular photos, so here they are in smaller form:

In the morning Clarissa and Ammon had their well-child checks, and Clarissa had some shots. Here she is post shots sucking grumpily on a lollipop while Ammon happily pushes her along:

I spent the rest of the day cooking for a vegetarian Thanksgiving. I bought a Tofurkey on the spur of a whim last week, and so I made a bunch of sides to go with it today. It was supposed to be a fun, happy meal, but I was so tired and grumpy by the time we sat down that it wasn’t exactly that. Mary also declared that I never cook anything she likes and had a tantrum. It was sad.

But the good news is my mom had a fantastic empty nesters FHE tonight. She saw some beautiful stain glass and had dinner with the empty nester group and came home so happy. She also looked so pretty. I should have taken a picture.

Abe and I finished the day by ministering to our neighbors. We visited with them and had such a great time.

Also, last but honestly, this should really be first: SAP BOUGHT QUALTRICS TODAY. This move will change out lives in a really great way. We feel very blessed and thankful for the way God has lead our family. On my way to the temple this morning (I went to the 5:40am session), I said a prayer for Ryan Smith, the CEO of Qualtrics. Abe found out when we woke up at 4:45am that Qualtrics had been bought, and so I had all morning to think about it. I feel very grateful.

Today was fast Sunday. I am used to eating A LOT every day, and so fast Sundays are hard for me. I coped by planning out a series of Christmas feasts from around the world for the month of December. It was really fun researching what different people in different countries eat for Christmas. My favorite discovery was Japan. They eat KFC for Christmas! That night will be easy.

After we broke our fast, I played with Clarissa for an hour. She was in the best mood. We played ball and she tried to kick it. We also played on the lion, and when I told her that we were going to play with it, she understood me and walked around the corner right to it! She also loved trying to stuff my mouth with paper, which I would spit back out. She thought that was hilarious. I love my baby.

We had a laid back Saturday because it is the first one we’ve stayed in town for a long time. The kids played a lot, watched tv, and made gingerbread turkeys. After my early morning yoga, I made a stew, an apple pie, and a huge batch of applesauce. I also cleaned the kitchen and dining area a million times because the gingerbread turkey craft is insanely messy.

Abe had to work almost a full day from home. His work has gotten so busy, and I feel so sorry for him. I also struggle with feeling upset at one of the people at Qualtrics who has made his situation so difficult. But Abe has a great attitude and has said that he is trying to route out fear and entitlement from his heart, because when he doesn’t have those emotions, he doesn’t resent all of the extra work so much. Qualtrics sure got a steal when they hired Abe.

Here are the pictures from the day:

TURKEYS! Take a look at these delicious monstrosities the kids created. (I, er, helped Mary a lot with hers.):

 

On Friday I Face Timed with my friend, Juliana Perry. We have been friends since elementary school, but I haven’t talked with her in years. She has had a lot of health challenges lately, so we set up a time on Friday to chat and catch up. I just love Julia. I should have taken a screen shot of her during the call so I could post to the blog, which has no pictures from Friday. Darn.

After the phone call Abe and I sat through a life insurance presentation from our friend, Carolyn Blosil. This is the third life insurance presentation we’ve sat through in the past three years. We never buy it, but it is always motivating to see the graphs and charts that show how much it pays off to start investing early. Maybe I will skip all of the trips I want to take this summer and just invest money instead (assuming we have money to travel or invest…)

I am watching a documentary on the Roman Empire while I blog, so I am not going to type much about what we did on Thursday. I let the girls skip school and took everyone to the Aviary, the Chase Home Museum of Folk Art, and Liberty Park to play. On the way home I ordered Thai take out, gave everyone a long bath, and got the kids ready for bed. By the end I was so tired that I crawled into bed at 7:30 pm and slept on and off for an hour and a half while Abe and I watched art documentaries, and then I fell asleep for good before 9pm.

Here are the pictures:

The picnic above was quite fun. Ammon left the table shortly after this to introduce himself to people and make friends. Lydia shyly followed him around to make sure he didn’t run away while I cleaned up.

The highlight of the Aviary was the bird show. I didn’t get any pictures because I was firmly holding Clarissa and Ammon, who were not allowed to walk around because the birds flew RIGHT over our heads. Our favorite birds were the bright pink spoonbills.

Then we walked over to the Chase Home Museum of Folk Arts. I spent most of our time here chasing Clarissa around and making sure Ammon didn’t break anything, but I LOVED the museum. It is so small, intimate, kid-friendly, and all around well done. I can’t believe we’ve never visited before.

Lydia worked on origami while Mary worked on the felt rugs.

After the museum, the kids played in the park for an hour. Mary was sad because she felt left out, but I think she was just tired after such a big day.

Abe and I went to a training on Singapore math tonight. My mom was amazing and put the older three kids to bed so we could do that. We learned all about how Singapore math is taught so we can better help Lydia at home.

It was so delightful to go to this training with Abe. I thought about how I wish I could have gone to school with Abe, who is such a great partner. Abe was calling out the answers lightning fast, and when he got bored he built towers of dice at impossible angles and balanced the dice on my knees. He’s just fun.

I told Abe I adore my life right now. The only hard part is music practice with the kids, but normally even if I am yelling, it’s usually just to be heard over the chaos all around. I don’t feel that angry even if I sound mad. (Sadly, the kids don’t realize that…)

I almost feel guilty chronicling my day because each activity is so pleasant. Life is supposed to be a struggle, right? Of course I guess there is inherent effort in parenting four kids, but right now, for whatever reason, it is for the most part so enjoyable. I am so grateful.

During Lydia’s group harp lesson today I took the kids to the nearby playground.

Also, Abe voted today! I voted by absentee a couple days ago. We voted for different people. I wonder who will win…