Author: lilydarais

Tuesday morning brought this beautiful sight. Abe and I had finished Insanity, and Abe studied his scriptures with a sweet little cuddle buddy.

The girls had fun playing bunny and puppy all morning.

In the afternoon we headed to Sandy for the Darais family Christmas party. The Daraises are uniformly gorgeous people, inside and out. We were asked to bring dessert, and I informed Abe in the car that it didn’t matter what we brought because I’ve been watching the Darais dessert table for years and it seems to me that no one ever touches it. Daraises are generally a very health conscious crowd. But we went to Dairy Queen and picked up an ice cream cake and…lo and behold, for the first time in my memory, people seemed to–sort of–eat dessert this year!

During the family program I watched Ammon chase Spencer Toone, his cousin once removed. I also had to keep Ammon from running off the gym stage. He would get behind the curtain and then charge forward with no idea where he was going. Without me in front he would have plummeted off the stage multiple times. It was crazy. Mary had fun playing with Sadie, another cousin once removed–and only a month younger than Mary! They were really cute together.

After we survived the chasing and gym stage stunts, we exchanged gifts with Tom and Suzanne. They gave the girls the cutest stuffed animals. Ammon really liked his toy too, and while he played with it I could relax for the first time all evening. When he stopped playing I took him straight to the car and strapped him down in his seat. He has me beat.

On Christmas morning the kids gave us the most welcome present of sleeping in. We didn’t get started on the morning until around 8:30, and the kids didn’t start opening presents until 9am.

I was a little apprehensive because I scaled back a little this year on presents; we are short on money and we don’t have space in the house for more stuff. All of the kids were so wonderful and didn’t appear to notice that there were slightly fewer presents. They admired each present they got and warmed our hearts with their appreciation.

Honestly, I could probably have just gotten Mary one coloring book and she would have been happy. She had to be reminded to open her other presents because she liked coloring in her new book so much, and later when she headed into the snow, she declared that snow was the only thing she really wanted for Christmas–and she got it!

Nick joined us for lunch. We had soufflé, citrus salad, panetone, spiced nuts, wassail and homemade hot cocoa.

Then Abe, Clarissa, and I napped during Ammon’s quiet time. The girls played nicely together while we napped, and then I got up and cooked The Feast of the Seven Fishes. Originally I thought I hadn’t succeeded and only cooked six fishes, but I tallied it after the fact and realized that indeed, we made it to seven! Here’s how:

Cioppino: Mussels, clams, halibut, and shrimp

Spaghetti with anchovy sauce: Anchovies

Arugula, blood orange, and scallop salad: Scallops

Slow roasted salmon with lemon and thyme: Salmon.

See? Seven!

   

After dinner we exchanged gifts and ate Karin’s dessert, a berry cake and berry turnovers.

This was truly a delightful Christmas. Surprisingly, it didn’t feel too crazy even with all of the cooking and celebrating. I just loved the whole day.

On Christmas Eve we only had one hour of church. Clarissa napped through it, so I stayed home with her. Apparently church was beautiful, with lots of gorgeous musical numbers and hymns.

I prepped lunch so we could eat when everyone came home. We had quiche, leftover banana bread and a citrus salad.

After lunch we watched The Nativity, the New Line Cinema production. I adore this movie, even though the girls think it’s scary. I just think the movie does a wonderful job grounding the nativity story in earthy realism, to say nothing of the story itself.

The nativity story is so fresh, so prismatic. It is so full of irony, tenderness, joy, and deep sorrow. I can turn it in my mind over and over, every year, and learn many new things each time. This year I was reminded that finding favor in the eyes of God has literally nothing to do with earthly appearances or mortal trials.

I belong to a religious culture that sometimes confuses earthly prosperity with heavenly favor. The nativity story is a sweet rebuke to that misunderstanding. Think of Mary giving birth to the Son of God and laying him in a manger. Think about the shame Mary endured to submit to God’s will, and the faith Joseph had to share in it. Think of the slaughter of the innocents. One thing that strikes horror in my soul is the thought of all the sorrow innocent children have to endure on this earth. And yet, the slaughter of children is a part of this story, and so we know God is yet over all.

This story is a treasure, a facet of that pearl of great price spoken of in the New Testament. This is the source of my wonderment this holiday season.

After lunch we napped and then headed to the Miners for their Christmas Eve dinner and program.

Lydia played Silent Night  in the program PERFECTLY. That was one of the best gifts of the season, in my book.

After the Miners, we headed home. The kids fell asleep in the car so Abe wrote their Christmas letter to Santa himself. He then played Santa and turned the letter over to write the reply. 🙂

On Saturday we spent the day with Jon, Shirley, Helena, Anthony, Malika, Emile, and Asfalta. It was the absolute best way we have ever spent Christmas Eve’s Eve. Instead of running around succumbing to the busy-ness of the season, we rejoiced in the company of these beloved friends and their sweet children. It was one of the highlights of my whole holiday. I just wish we all lived closer because I admire and love these two families so much.

First we met up at the Museum of Natural Curiosity, and then we headed to Slab Pizza for lunch. After lunch we went to Harmon’s for gelato and had the entire upstairs almost to ourselves. It was such a delightful time.

After we came home and put the kids to bed, Abe, my mom and I stayed up late wrapping presents. We felt it was worth it at the end, even though staying up late is so painful now that we are on an earlier schedule.

 

On Friday I baked five loaves of banana bread and two more batches of chocolate chip cookies for neighbor gifts.

I also tried to make a sweet dinner for Abe because he has had a horrible ending to his quarter. He will probably miss his quota and the promotion he was hoping for. It has been very hard on him, and so I tried to have the house nice and dinner made. To be honest, my mom ended up cleaning more than I did because it was a really hard day at home. Clarissa needed me a lot and so did Ammon. I was in a really bad mood by the time Abe came home, which was the exact opposite of what I had been hoping for. He was still glad to be starting Christmas break, but I don’t think in the end I helped much.

Lydia still lit the world today cuddling Clarissa. Both Lydia and Mary love holding Clarissa, and I will catch them entertaining her or cooing at her often throughout the day. I don’t know why I don’t snap more pictures of Mary with Clarissa, but I got two today of Lydia with Clarissa.

Clarissa appears worried to be the object of so much ardent affection.

On Thursday morning Abe and I got up at our usual 5am wake-up, but instead of working out we started assembling cookie tins for his co-worker friends. I baked the last batch of sugar cookies, and then we put everything together. I must say, I was SO proud of these cookies and how they turned out. It was crazy trying to bake hundreds of cookies while nursing Clarissa and keeping Ammon alive, but I suppose this is one instance of “where there’s a will, there’s a way.” It’s not like I crossed the plains or gave birth in the snow, but hey. This feels like an accomplishment during this crazy time of life.

After Abe rushed off to work, I rushed to get Mary and Clarissa ready to drive to Saratoga Springs for Mary’s eye appointment. Mary’s eye has been crossing more, and I wanted to get her in to the doctor in case she needed ANOTHER surgery. I figured for insurance purposes it would be great if we could get it scheduled before the end of the year.

Thankfully, she doesn’t need surgery. Apparently the anesthesia from her hernia surgery throws everything off and might have made her eyes seem more crossed than usual.

I should also report that Mary really lit my world at her appointment. She was so polite, sweet, and helpful. When it came time to go to our room, I was carrying Clarissa, several bags, and had a hard time handling everything. Without being asked, Mary picked up the car seat (which is almost as big as she is), and heaved it all the way from the lobby to our room. My heart overflowed while watching her struggling with each step to the back room. She was so determined to help, even though the task was clearly difficult for her. I LOVE this little girl.

In the evening I had my second physical therapy appointment. I am starting to feel a difference and wish I had gone to physical therapy while I was pregnant. Oh, hindsight. You are so good at filling me with regrets.

On Wednesday we stayed up late because I was baking for Abe’s coworkers. Once the project started, I felt like I had to rush to finish before the cookies went stale.

My mom also came with us on a bunch of errands in the afternoon as I rushed to pick up last minute things for the cookies and their tins. I have never seen a longer line at Michael’s! It snaked around the store. Lydia was a doll and entertained Clarissa in the car with my mom and Ammon while Mary and I hunted for things. Mary was a perfect shopping companion. I had told her not to talk to me or ask for things because I had to focus and make decisions. Mary was almost completely silent the whole time and so sweet.

On Wednesday morning Eli and Chloe came over and stayed until almost 2pm, when I left with my mom and the kids to run errands. I was really proud of myself for baking hundreds of cookies while taking care of and feeding six kids! (In reality, it was pretty easy because the television helped me out a lot.)

Today Clarissa woke up at 4:30am, and as soon as I finished feeding her Abe and I did Insanity together. Abe had woken up when I fed Clarissa at 2:30 and had never fallen back asleep. Instead he prayed, meditated, and studied scriptures to stave off a nervous breakdown. We congratulated each other on our mutual survival during this season of life.

Then Abe was off to work and I stayed at home and ran the hamster wheel of feeding, diapering, cleaning, feeding, etc. I also managed to keep Ammon alive! And I made dough for springerle cookies, speculatas cookies, and cream cheese dough for jam filled cookies. I also fully baked a batch of zimmsterne (round #3 is the charm) and a batch of Dorie Greenspan’s incredible brownies. I have been really curious about that last recipe because she uses a crazy method for baking brownies, but wow, the texture of that batter was out of this world.

Did I mention I am trying to lose weight before our January trip? Yeah, today was not great for that. In addition to all of the cookie baking, a sweet neighbor dropped off a batch of homemade rolls straight from the oven, four of which went directly into me. We also got an amazing package from our cousins Louie and Ginny from mouth.com. I was about to type what I ate from that package, but it’s too embarrassing to list how crazy I was about food today. Maybe being up since 4:30am, nursing Clarissa all day, and feeling constantly stressed by various kid-induced factors throughout the day affected my judgment. Whatever the reason, I made really bad decisions all day long. I should probably be doing Insanity two or three times a day at this rate.

Right now my mom is at The Nutcracker Ballet with the girls. It is starting to be their tradition, but since my mom doesn’t drive at night, I am about to leave and get them.

So that means this blog post is now over. Better luck tomorrow avoiding sugar, self!

 

On Sunday I taught a Relief Society lesson on the atonement. It kind of fell flat, and to top it off, half of the cookies I baked for people were burnt. Thankfully everyone thought that was funny (at least until they bit into the cookies).

Also, I cried in Sunday school. The lesson was on the Proclamation on the Family, which I am not on board with (or at least I have major issues with parts of it), and on Elder Oaks’ recent talk, which was the only conference talk I have ever flat out disagreed with. The teacher was really nice when I choked through my comment and said it was okay to feel that way.

After church Abe had visits and home teaching, and all I wanted to do was nap. When Abe came home he walked all around with Clarissa so I could take a quick nap before making dinner.

Abe and I both went to bed dreading the week. Abe is frightened because this is the last week of the quarter and he has so much yet to bill. I am frightened because each day feels so hectic and demanding. Ammon alone could keep me fully occupied all day, but Clarissa would also like full attention all day, and she doesn’t ever take real naps. She’ll cat nap for five minutes or twenty minutes maybe three times a day, totaling maybe an hour–or two at most–of sleep between 7am and  8pm.

Abe vows we will sleep train her after Christmas, but I don’t like letting her cry for too long yet. The times I have let her cry for a longer period of time make me feel really bad afterward. She usually is shaking and desperate, and I don’t like to see her in such a state.

Anyway, on top of Clarissa and Ammon there are two other kids who also need attention and help, not to mention food needs to be cooked, messes need tidying, and there’s always, always so much laundry to wash, dry, fold, and put away.  It’s really crazy right now.

On Saturday we drove to Salt Lake and stopped at Orson Gygi for baking supplies, and then we went to Trader Joe’s for some other stuff. I can not wait until we get a Trader Joe’s in Orem next year.

In the evening I baked and burnt a bunch of cookies for Relief Society, and then I hosted book club. Two of the three people who came were practically deathly ill, and so we had a short visit. I do love the people in the book club and enjoyed the time, short as it was.

Abe was extremely stressed about his quota and went to bed early. It’s the end of the quarter and his next promotion is riding on this quarter’s quota, so he is practically crushed from stress. Even in his stressed state, he is incredibly kind and helpful, and I feel so grateful for him. I am not either of those things when I am stressed, and so I learn a lot from Abe. He is just amazing.