errands – Page 7 – Darais Days

Sunshine, a somber note, and some snores

Today I cleaned the house for two hours, and then practiced a little bit. Paige and her kids came over for a play date, during which the girls colored outside, we got attacked by ants (accidentally sat on an ant hill on the lawn), ate some food and chatted a lot. It was wonderful to be outside in the sunshine. My soul felt so nourished after that. Oh! And we practiced a musical number for church, since Paige plays the violin. We’re not going to perform until mid-summer, but practicing was fun.

Then the girls had a short nap/quiet time while I lay on my bed and finished The Triple Package. As much as I enjoyed the book (and I enjoyed it a lot), the best part of that was having my window open and feeling the spring breeze. Having an open window makes my heart go pitter-patter with delight, and right now the sounds outside my (still) open window are making me so happy.

A more somber part of our day was the viewing for Grandma Darais. We headed to Provo for the evening viewing. I did love all the pictures and momentos from her life everywhere. I thought a lot on the drive back about what makes a meaningful life. Grandma Darais couldn’t have lived a better life, but since I just read The Triple Package, I had to consider that her life was very different from the type described in my book. Obviously, there are many ways to be a successful person, and the authors themselves admit up front that they take a crass, materialistic approach to defining success. “Success” for them means wealth, prestige and power derived from hyperactive achievement-oriented types.

As I drove home, I thought about both my grandma and Abe’s grandma and then concluded that the best way to measure the difference you made in the world is to count how many people love and feel loved by you. I guess there’s not a real way to know how many people your life has changed, but what I’m trying to say is that I prefer a definition of success that takes into account things that are hard to count–like love, compassion, and forgiveness. I also think that creating a home where people love to be makes a big difference in the world. As people remember Grandma Darais, almost everyone mentions her home and how wonderful it felt to be there. I loved being there, and I only visited a couple times. But I visited my grandma’s home many, many times, and that probably made more of an impression on me than any other home I’ve ever visited. The orderliness, the food, and the peaceful flow of activities inspires me daily.

Anyway, Grandma, since Lydia has been dominating the phone conversations of late, just know I’m in the background sending you my love. I love you so much. And, of course, you too Mom! Lydia talked a lot about how much she misses you after she hung up today. You two are the very best. We love you.

Oh, here’s a picture I took of Mary. I was trying to keep her awake so she would sleep through my shopping trip in the afternoon. A Methodist church in Sandy was having a huge consignment sale, and I wanted both girls to sleep in their strollers while I shopped. No such luck. She didn’t even make it through her second lunch. I tried to get a video of her snoring, but I got distracted, so all I have is this:

General Conference time again

Today Mary woke up at 5:19 am because she is teething (finally!!!). Since I was already up, I went to 6 am Bikram and then came home and practiced before General Conference started.

We’ve had Grandma Darais on our minds all day. Abe said he doesn’t feel ready for his grandma to die, and he wishes he had spent more time with her while she was alive. He’s going to write his thoughts tomorrow.

I started practicing Claire de Lune tonight in preparation for the funeral or family reception. I don’t know if or when I’m supposed to play it, but apparently I’m going to be asked to play it at some point, and since I’ve never played it before, 10 pm tonight found me picking my way through it. Our neighbors had a late night poker party going on, so they were indulgent and let me practice above them. We looooooooove them. Anyway, this was Grandma Darais’ favorite piece–and I seem to recall my grandma loves it too. Grandma, I thought I could kill two birds with one stone: I’ll prepare this piece for Grandma Darais’ events, and then when we come to visit in May, I’ll play it for you if we can find a piano.

Also, Mary said her name today! It was so cute. I was bathing her and Mary’s toy turtle with little plastic man (Grandma, these are your old bath toys! Remember them?) floated away. She got quite concerned and pointed to her out-of-reach toy and blurted out, “Mareee!” She wanted me to give the toys back to “Mareee.” I tried to have her say her name again, but so far she’s best at saying words when she’s in a desperate situation. When she tries to think about it, the process seems a lot harder.

Here are today’s pictures:

Abe and the girls had a dance party while I practiced. Lydia made sure everyone had a picture she'd colored taped to their tummies...and, of course, the girls had their balloons. — Abe and the girls had a dance party while I practiced. Lydia made sure everyone had a picture she’d colored taped to their tummies…and, of course, the girls had their balloons.

...Or maybe she was just preparing to play in the chair. — …Or maybe she was just preparing to play in the chair.

We love you, Grandma Darais.

Today Grandma Darais joined Grandpa Darais in heaven. We are so thankful for her influence in our lives. In the few short years I’ve known her, I’ve learned so much from Grandma Darais. She loved the Gospel with all of her heart, and as one of her grandsons said as we stood in the room, she loved to break the silence with, “I’m so glad I have a testimony of the gospel!” She would have said that if she could have, I am sure.

Christina joked that when Grandma meets Grandpa in heaven, she’ll say, “I”ve been dying to see you on your birthday!” Today is Grandpa Darais’ birthday, and Grandma Darais was his greatest love. Both Grandpa and Grandma Darais had a special fondness for puns, so I could almost picture that greeting. Whatever was communicated, we know it was joyful.

Here’s one story I learned that I hadn’t heard before. When Grandma and Grandpa Darais first married, they honeymooned near a beach. One day when they went to go sit on the beach, Grandpa wanted to sit up away from the water on dry sand. Grandma didn’t want to sit there because there were cigarette butts and other junk in the sand, plus she wanted to get her toes wet. Finally, she went down by herself to the water’s edge and sat there with her toes in the water and cried. Grandpa sat up on the dry sand laughing and took a picture of her crying. Then he took a selfie (waaaay before that was even a word) of him grinning by himself.

Now, their relationship is remembered by all as extremely loving on both sides, but this little newlywed snafu was a tidbit I thought was cute and worth recording. Abe was actually shocked when he heard the story because it isn’t reflective at all of their long-term relationship, but I think every little memory is worth capturing. Even the greatest marriages have some things to work out (especially at first), and it’s comforting to know that this truly successful couple also had to adjust.

Grandma Darais was an example not only of deep, life-changing faith, but cheerfulness, love, and kindness. She loved good jokes and puns. She came from a long line of break makers, and she ground her own wheat regularly to make delicious bread. She memorized poems and recited verses as apt situations arose. As I’ve been thinking about her, I keep coming back to the fact that she was a lover of all righteousness. She loved the light and good, and her influence was only that. All of her children and grandchildren had a deep, profound love for her, and she will be missed more than words can say.

My heart aches for her surviving children, especially one in particular. It was almost too painful to witness her endure the pain of losing her sweet mother, and she will be in my prayers a lot during this hard time.

They allowed us to bring in the children during the last half an hour of Grandma Darais’ life, but they started getting noisy during the family prayer, so I took them to the hall. Abe stayed and witnessed the passing of his beloved grandmother, and it was hard.

BUT. There really is a but. With a few exceptions, everyone there had a strong testimony that death is not the end, and we are so grateful that we know that. We’re grateful to know that families can be eternal, and in the cases of believers and disciples like Norma Darais, they will be. Her grandchildren impressed me so much as they bore their testimonies around her bed. We were all in tears, but the knowledge that God lives and loves us was truly comforting.

This day was a treasure that I will never forget. I am so thankful I have some of Grandma Darais’ stories written down, and I am thankful I even have videos of her telling them. I had no idea she was so close to the end when I made those. They are a treasure.

Reposting pictures from that special day:

We love you so much, Grandma.

Some big tantrums and FHE at Temple Square

This morning was such a whirlwind that I did not get a single picture in. Sorry, Grandma! As soon as the girls woke up, it was a race to get them dressed and fed so that we could make it to our visiting teaching appointment with Marilyn. Thankfully, Jen was in the same boat so we arrived at about the same time (an hour late). Marilyn, as usual, was a joy to visit, although we are praying for her health. Mom, feel free to include her in your prayers.

Then we went to Jump Around Utah to meet up with our play group. I’m glad I know what it is, but I do not think I will ever go again. It was so packed with screaming kids who just mowed down all the littler kids in their paths. It was incredibly stressful for everyone, and by the end I was sweating and panicky and Lydia had the worst public tantrum she has ever had in her life. For the rest of the day she kept telling me that she was sad because her experience at Jump Around Utah was so frustrating. I was just glad we all left without injury; at one point, Mary got flipped on the big bouncing thing in the middle and landed in a really painful looking position.

I came home, fed the girls, put Mary down, and tried to cheer Lydia up with hot cocoa and a ton of snuggling and reading.

After Abe came home, we headed out to Temple Square with Balu for FHE. We took a tour of the Conference Center. I have a whole new appreciation for the Arnold Friberg Book of Mormon gallery after seeing the Arnold Friber exhibit a couple months ago. The choir was rehearsing while we were there, so we got to sneak in a little observation too. The tour was great preparation for General Conference, and we’re hoping the tour will contextualize conference for the girls. Then we went to the Lion House for dinner. Brother Richardson left us a gift card the last time he was here, and it came in handy tonight! We had a lot of fun, and we left the square with Lydia sitting on Abe’s shoulders making up songs about flowers and Spring. In spite of all the other tantrums and meltdowns today (and they seemed to follow each other in rapid succession without much interruption), FHE was a success.

Then I did some grocery shopping and by the time we came home, the girls were exhausted. One more giant tantrum issued forth from our eldest daughter, and then she fell asleep. It’s been peaceful ever since. Here’s to a more peaceful tomorrow!

Ambition morphs into a long, long nap

I had big plans when Saturday morning dawned: hiking Ensign Peak! Biking up the canyon!! Using our improved insurance to buy new glasses for Abe!!!

…And one three and a half hour nap later, we did none of that. Well, almost none. We tried to buy Abe new glasses, but insurance only covers $100, and glasses are more expensive than that. So we headed to the grocery store, bought groceries instead, and headed home to hibernate.

Afterward, I went to Women’s Conference. Our stake had a dinner first. I have a lot of social anxiety in big groups, so stuff like that is hard for me. But I powered through, even though I had to fight an active urge to get up and leave about every five minutes. As soon as the closing prayer ended, I grabbed my coat and practically ran to the car.

Abe just said, “Oh my heck.” For the record, he never used to say that, but working in Provo with a bunch of other LDS young dads has changed his linguistic patterns. I asked him to please revert back to his old verbal habits.

On the other hand, one of his coworkers told him that the work he was doing was “BA.” Abe was really confused and asked him if he was talking about “Bachelor of Arts,” and his coworker thought that was hilarious. Now whenever Abe does anything of note, his coworker tells him he’s “Bachelor of Arts.”

What a hodge podge post. Here are the pictures we took today:

Mary loves to dip food. Giving her bowls of sauce/syrup/peanut butter has bought me an extra ten minutes of peace during meals.

Gesturing for more because she's...not very verbal. But we understand her, so maybe she feels like she doesn't have to talk. I wish she would, though!!! — Gesturing for more because she’s…not very verbal. But we understand her, so maybe she feels like she doesn’t have to talk. I wish she would, though!!!

Lydia did a “trick” for me:

The girls got balloons at the store:

While I was at Women’s Conference, Abe took the girls to the park:

Lydia looked at the bars and said, "I know I can do this!" That's probably because of our coaching session at the park two days ago. Alas, these bars surpassed her current abilities. — Lydia looked at the bars and said, “I know I can do this!” That’s probably because of our coaching session at the park two days ago. Alas, these bars surpassed her current abilities.

And during the girls’ last snack of the day, Lydia lost focus and started making funny faces:

“SOCKS!!!!” “SAUCE!!!” (Lydia’s new swear words)

I took a bunch of happy pictures today, but don’t let that fool you. I’m pretty sure I spent the whole day yelling at Lydia–and occasionally at Mary. While at Sugar House Park this afternoon, I listened to this mom talk sweetly to her children and felt insanely jealous. I thought, “Wow, that woman seems exceptionally cut out for this mom business. I bet she never yells at her kids.” And then I proceeded to feel horrible about myself, even though I fully realize that:

1) I am nice to my kids on the playground too.

2) Who knows how that mom acts when she’s tired and not standing in the sunshine?

Which brings me around to the tired bit. I just don’t have any energy lately! It is so annoying. Today I decided to power through it and try to fold laundry, but I couldn’t even do that. With terrific effort, I managed to bring my kids to play group, the grocery store, Kid to Kid, and another park today, but by the end I couldn’t do anything but sit on the couch while the kids tore up the living room around me.

I think I’m tired because my coughing wakes me up at night. Like I said, it’s annoying, and I’m appropriately annoyed.

In addition, Lydia has invented her own swear words. Obviously, she doesn’t know what a swear word is–and I hope she hasn’t been in earshot when I let stuff slip–but she’s started yelling “SOCKS!” and “SAUCE!!!” when she’s extremely angry. I asked her what those words meant, and she explained that she says those words when she wants to hit. Lately, she’s been combining the words and the action–hence much of my yelling, but I was mildly amused that she essentially invented her own swear words. My dad always used to say that swearing was for people who were creatively stilted in the language department. I think Lydia’s invention would have made him happy.

On to the happy pictures and more happy news–Abe had ANOTHER great day at work. It’s kind of a miracle. When I met Abe, one of the first things I learned about him was that he hated his job, and the whole time he’s worked for Guardsmark, that sentiment has persisted. This switch to Qualtrics has been amazing.

One thing he loves is his coworkers. For example, today he left the flashers on his car, and one of his coworkers noticed and sent a memo out on some company thread that Abe didn’t read. When Abe went to his car after work, the person who noticed (who parked next to him) was ready with cables to jump Abe’s car. He knew the car’s battery would be dead, so he got prepared to help–even though he didn’t know whose car it was. When you work with people like that, it’s hard to dislike your work.

Lindsay Gardens for play group, 11 am:

Paige pushed Lydia and Ada on the merry-go-round thing.

Sugar House Park, 3:30 pm:

I must have read A Snowy Day to Lydia a million times. Watching her hit the tree with a stick made me recall "A stick that was just right for smacking a snow covered tree," only this tree lacked snow. — I must have read *A Snowy Day* by Ezra Jack Keats to Lydia a million times. Watching her hit the tree with a stick made me recall “A stick that was just right for smacking a snow covered tree,” only this tree lacked snow.

Cimbing this rainbow-monkey-bar contraption. At the top she panicked, but I stood below and she made it over. One thing I LOVE about Lydia is her caution. I know I should be cheering for her ability to surmount an obstacle, but I'm most proud of her sensitivity to her own safety. That's my paranoia right there, thank-you very much. — Cimbing this rainbow-monkey-bar contraption. At the top she panicked, but I stood below and she made it over. One thing I LOVE about Lydia is her caution. I know I should be cheering for her ability to surmount an obstacle, but I’m most proud of her sensitivity to her own safety. That’s my paranoia right there, thank-you very much.

Hey! I just noticed that inadvertently took a picture of the mom who talked soooo sweetly to her kids. Doesn't she even look like a nice mom? I'm still jealous. — Hey! I just noticed that inadvertently took a picture of the mom who talked soooo sweetly to her kids. Doesn’t she even look like a nice mom? I’m still jealous.

I took these pictures of the girls swinging right before I gave Lydia a push that accidentally knocked her off the swing. We were both traumatized, but thankfully she was fine. I proposed driving home for a cupcake break, and that seemed to solve the problem.

For FHE, Abe built an obstacle course and dressed the girls up in their owl and monkey costumes. They had fun. I was supposed to give a spiritual thought, but I have felt less-than-spiritual (and I forgot), so we skipped that part.

Abe has a great day and Lily fails (or thinks she failed) the ServSafe

I awoke to the sound of Lydia running into my room and chattering about her birthday presents. As I rolled over I heard, “Oh, Mama, I need to go potty…uh, oh, I’m having an accident…”

I wish I could say I was composed in the face of this wake-up call, but I wasn’t. I gave Lydia a shower, and even though she hates showers, the good news is that her hair was wet and easy to braid. For the rest of the day, she didn’t have to deal with hair in her face (and I admired her tight braid).

I was, as usual it seems, low on energy this morning, so the girls spent the first two hours playing by themselves. I walked by their room to hear them jumping on Lydia’s bed and giggling. I grabbed my camera, but I was too late. I did take a couple other pictures, though. Grandma, Abe said you requested pictures after we got lazy and posted some picture-less posts last week. I want you to know that these pictures are for YOU!

After a couple hours, Mary came into my room and cried until I suggested that we go into her room and play blocks. She stopped crying immediately and nodded hard. I spent the next hour playing with the girls and sneaking in some room-organization/cleaning while I was at it.

Then I fed the girls a lunch that ended in too many cupcakes. That got Mary ready for bed, and Lydia played on the iPad while I did homework and studied for my ServSafe exam and other final. I’m pretty sure I failed the ServSafe exam tonight. It was hard! It was hard to study for and hard to take. In order to progress in the program, I need to pass it, and I think I can take it as many times as I need…I just don’t want to have to go through the studying rigamarole again. I had to do sit through fourteen hours of online lessons, not including the practice test, in order to prepare. Mom, can you pray that I passed so I don’t have to do this again? Your prayers always seem to work, and my prayers feel tired and slightly faithless.

I came home before the girls got to bed, and it was so fun to hug and cuddle them. Being away always makes me appreciate time with them so much more. Also, David came over to play video games with Abe, and before they played, the three of us chatted in the kitchen for a loooong time about parenting. David was remarkably engaged as Abe and I bored him with descriptions of our daughters’ personalities and our own parenting dilemmas, and he gave us great advice.

Now I’m trying to work up the motivation to take a much-needed shower before going to bed. Abe and David are downstairs playing an enthusiastic video game before David returns to Boston.

Oh! And Abe had a fantastic day at work!! He came home raving about how great it was. He also had a perfect home-teaching experience on his way home. He caught the family just when they were having some computer problems he helped solve, and then out of the blue the dad (who grew up LDS but no longer practices) gave Abe some money for a fast offering. It was kind of a textbook happy-home-teaching experience, and that on top of his already-great day made this day a winner in Abe’s book. He did struggle to manage Lydia’s continual tantrums throughout the evening, but after a great day at work and a great home-teaching experience, even hours of straight melt-downs don’t seem like such a big deal–or at least Abe didn’t seem to be phased.

My eyelids just drooped. Time for a shower and bed.

Non-Profit, Exam, David

Today was a little bit of a hard day on the home front. When I chatted with Lily at our kid-handoff in front of her cooking school, I learned that today the doorbell woke Mary from her nap, Lily learned Mary could squeeze through the second floor railing, a strange beggar came to the house asking for money (and this is after the Elizabeth Smart book she just read), and she’s feeling sicker than yesterday. My heart definitely went out to Lily to hear about these struggles, especially since things are really starting to go well at work.

Today I received my account list that I will be responsible for to call on. My list is comprised almost all of non-profit organizations, meaning Qualtrics wants me to become expert in selling to that industry. I started working on the list today and found great joy working on my own accounts and not just setting up meetings for other salesmen. Also, during lunch we had a regional meeting and my team lead commended my hard work in front of every body and I was awarded fifty dollars. Sweet!

Lily just got home from cooking school and reported that she feels she did very well on her final (Yay!). That is especially amazing since she was feeling so unwell. While Lily was at cooking school, the following transpired.

I picked up mail from my mom’s office (Lydia asleep in the car) and then drove home (Lydia still asleep in the car). Lydia woke up as we pulled in the driveway and proceded to be an emotional disaster for the next two hours. I do not fault her. She took a late nap, and she was just out of sync. She melted down over a variety of topics such as curry being too spicy (Mary ate it), being tired, being cold (right after her bath), not wanting to comb her hair, wanting the ipad, wanting to sit in my lap……you get the idea. Finally at the end of the day, right before going to bed, she cheered up, partially because she enjoyed watching Mary run around only half-way in her pajamas. I only got half-way putting Mary into pajamas before I had to intervene with another dramatic emotional episode from Lydia. Everything ended on a good note when I put the kids to bed.

Right afterwords, my brother, David, came over. He is in-town from his PHD studies at Harvard. We chatted for a while and then played one hour and thirty minutes of Wayne Gretzky Hockey on Nintendo 64. We had so much fun that we made plans to do it again Monday.

Pictures!

Lydia asked to go to bed while Mary ran around and she was amused at Mary half-way in her pajamas

Lily took the girls to the library today.

Lily made a knockout curry today and included Lydia in the process.

Ants and the Rohirrim

The girls went down for naps and quiet time super early today, and instead of doing homework like I should have done, I read a couple hours into The Return of the King. It turned out to be an apt read; while I was feeding the girls an after-nap meal, I killed about a dozen ants in my kitchen. I couldn’t help but think about Tolkein’s description of the Rohirrim in battle–specifically, I thought about how they sang as they fought. I didn’t feel like singing while I was killing ants, but the glimmer of satisfaction I felt helped me understand that initially bewildering passage a little better.

After the girls were fed, I took them outside to play:

Then I took them to the library, grocery shopping, the gas station, and back home. Abe arrived shortly after we did, and after dinner he bathed and chased the girls while I cleaned the downstairs and practiced. I was supposed to go to school tonight, but I’m feeling kind of icky and a brand new cold has introduced itself at our house. I am trying to avoid getting sick yet again.

Oh! I forgot to mention that while I was at school yesterday, Abe cleaned the whole house. I came home and fell in love with my husband all over again. It was soooooo nice, especially since I never feel like I have time or energy to clean these days. I hate the messes that accumulate, and having them gone has felt like THE greatest luxury. I’m going to try to be better at staying on top of the messes since today I enjoyed my mess-free life so much more than my regular mess-filled life.

Warning: Lots of complaining below

Today was a bad day. Well, Abe had a good day–his promotion interviews went well, and he came back very happy and energetic. I immediately turned over the girls and went to bed.

Mary woke up with pinkeye this morning, which was sad. Taking my mom to the airport was sad. Going to the doctor’s office for Mary’s pinkeye was sad, as was dragging my sobbing toddler across the parking lot (she’s scared of our super-sweet doctor). Grocery shopping with two children was…actually, not that sad. They were great at the store.

Coming home was sad because we spent the rest of the day eating on and off and cleaning my kitchen. I HATE meal time. And the whole day felt like one big meal. Then Mary developed pinkeye in her other eye, which means for the next week I will be administering eye drops to both children’s eyes four times a day. They kick and scream and swat away the eye drops, and the whole process stinks.

Also, my house is a mess:

Okay, okay, Abe cleaned up those messes, but there are plenty more around the house.

To top it off, while I was kneeling by the bed helping Lydia find Frozen on the iPad this evening (Abe didn’t make it home until 8pm), Mary tripped over my feet and her teeth ripped a whole in her chin. An inch below her lip is a big, tooth-shaped tear, and the poor thing was soooooo sad. I felt so bad for my poor baby with her ouchy eyes and ripped-up chin.

Boo. Bye-bye, bad day.

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