Today Abe and I both felt sapped of energy, but I still enjoyed the morning. I may not be quitting culinary school, but there’s no need to be a glutton for pain: I AM quitting the competition team, and I have zero qualms about it. I enjoyed my school-free morning treeee-mendously.
Abe took Lydia to ballet while I took Mary on my errands.
En route to ballet.
Abe took the girls to the park while I cooked meals for a couple families in the ward.
At the park in what Lydia calls “the clubhouse.”
After I delivered the meals, we went on a sloooow bike ride to and around the cemetery. Cemeteries are some of my favorite places, and the Salt Lake Cemetery is gorgeous. We live right by it, and I can’t believe I don’t go there more often.
Lydia fell asleep on the ride and basically never woke up. We were afraid to wake her without some sort of imminent treat because she is SO grumpy after late naps, so we woke her at 8 pm, force fed her some ice cream, and put her straight back to bed. I don’t even know if she realized she ate the ice cream…she was falling over into Abe’s lap between bites.Since Lydia was asleep, Mary got to be an only child for the evening. Abe and I lay down on the grass and played with her for an hour. We were all in heaven. I didn’t want it to end, but finally it got dark, and I realized I’d have to put my adorable baby to bed. She was so, so fun to play with. She does this cute thing where she wrinkles her face, tilts her head and makes her voice high and nasally for certain words like, “Meow!” “Oh no!” and “Miss Nana!” (I miss Nana!)
Abe and I are about to watch a movie. Shirley and Jon are in town and going to come over around 11 pm. We missed seeing them in New York, and their Salt Lake trips are always packed, so we take them whenever we we can get them. We’re so excited to see them soon!
Misty told me this morning that there was a reptile show at the library, so I decided to bring the kids. The only thing is, now that I am trying so hard to be the World’s Nicest Mom, I can’t figure out how to get Lydia to listen. I sat on the steps for half an hour repeating, “Lydia, honey/love/darling/sweetie-pie/babycakes/sugarpop, can you please put on your shoes?” Thirty-five minutes later, she finally complied, and we arrived to the library just in time to see people streaming out. We’d missed the show.
What a great opportunity for a natural consequence, I thought! “Lydia, honey, we missed the show because you wouldn’t listen to Mommy and put on your shoes. Isn’t that sad?”
“Well, Mommy, the reptiles are scary. I don’t want to see reptiles.”
Um, okay. I guess she won all around.
Playing blithely outside the library. No natural consequences, today!
In all seriousness, though, I’d rather miss a million shows and feel powerless and frustrated than know that my daughter feels scared and shamed and sad, which is how I felt when I got yelled at on Wednesday. So Project World’s Nicest Mom continues, and I’ll just have to learn to be more creative and resourceful when it comes to teaching my kids to listen.
After the library, we came home for lunch and quiet time. Afterward, I played play-doh with Lydia for an hour and half while Mary slept on. (Mary took a four hour nap today. It made me nostalgic for times not-so-long-ago when that was just her norm.)
While playing play-doh, I called my mom. Mom, thanks so much for talking with me. I really needed to talk to you, and it was so great to feel loved and understood. Thanks for everything you do for me! I love you.
Anyway, after Mary woke up, we all went outside to pick tomatoes and play in the sprinkler. Mary doesn’t like to get dirty or wet (which character trait seems incongruous with her otherwise adventuresome spirit), but she’ll get wet if I hold her hand. Lydia held the hose and Mary and I raced through a couple times. After about three runs, Lydia asked if we wanted to get wet again. I hesitated, and Mary yelled, “Nooooo!!” We spent the rest of the time drying out in the sun.
In the meantime, Lydia, my little not-so-adventuresome child, loves to get wet and doesn’t seem to notice or care when she’s dirty. She was pretty happy.
Distressed by her dirty hands.Gesturing emphatically that her hands are dirty. This is a problem, people!!She also didn’t appreciate getting her feet dirty. She wanted me to wash them off about twenty times–but not get any other part of her wet (except her hands, which she also wanted washed).OUT! (She wants out of the dirty garden.)
Where’s the snow?
Abe and I also went on a date, tonight! We saw Maleficent. Mom, you would love this movie. I don’t know why, but I love it when movies make me cry. This one definitely did. I asked Abe to give this to me for Christmas–I can’t wait to watch it again!
Yesterday was the absolute worst day at cooking school I have ever had. I got yelled at by a teammate, and the chef almost completely lost it at me multiple times. I came home feeling so sick and upset that Abe ended up giving me a blessing at 1:30 am, and then I only slept three hours after that. It was terrible. I would love to quit, but I know sticking with it will build character…so I’m gritting my teeth and going forward, even though this feels like a masochistic exercise.
But I feel better today. Honestly, I spent most of the morning imagining what I should have said to my teammate, and that actually helped me feel better and move on. I actually don’t hold anything against her, but it felt therapeutic to think out an appropriate verbal response to her random, loud verbal attack last night.
Also, I was grateful to be on the receiving end of both just and unjust yelling. It made me resolve with more determination than ever that I will not yell at my children. I sat Lydia down this morning and explained everything that happened last night and why I am sorry I have yelled at her in the past. I then told her I was going to try very, very hard not to yell ever again, but if I did slip, I instructed her to say, “Mommy, your yelling makes me feel sad and scared. Please stop.” I hope this plan works. After the pain of last night, I just can’t bear the thought of my children feeling that degraded and inhuman.
So today was a success! I was more patient than I have ever been in the history of my own parenting, and the kids, for the most part, responded with excellent behavior. I pray, pray, pray God helps me keep this resolve.
We woke up and played princess for forty-five minutes before breakfast. The girls were so excited about their Disney gifts from Tom and Suzanne!I played with my kids a TON today. I was trying to make up for every parental mistake I’ve ever made…this is “Row, Row Your Boat” in a laundry basket boat.
After taking the girls to the library and grocery store, we came home. I played play-doh with Lydia for half an hour. Ever since Abe’s FHE, she likes to play “Amalikiah and Moroni’s walls.” In her version, a snake kills Amalikiah–and then a frog kills a snake.
We also had some Primary teachers over for dinner. Actually, Abe used to home teach Lisa and Dustin, so he was extremely excited when he found out which teachers were coming.
Me, Mary, Cathy, and Lisa. I have resolved to photograph at least the people who come over to dinner, because when I review my past blogs quickly, it helps me get a better sense of each day’s events.
No 911 calls this morning, and it was a peaceful follow-up to yesterday’s stress. I still feel silly about being so quick to call 911, but I keep telling myself better safe than sorry.
Isabella came over and watched the girls while I worked out and then swam. When I came home, we went to the library for new books. The girls collected prizes for the summer reading program, and then we came home for naps and quiet time. Lydia actually napped today!
She woke up when Sophia, Max and Misty came over for a play date. Waking up from naps is a delicate process for Lydia…but having Sophia over to play with made her transition much easier. They love playing together, and I love talking to Misty, so a play date with Misty and her kids is just optimal for everyone.
After the play date, Mary wanted a turn in the dress.
Here’s how Lydia felt about that.
Mary decided the dress was too cumbersome. The two reconciled.
Mary calling Nana and Grandma on the phone.
After our play date, I scrambled to make dinner. Abe insisted on taking a picture.
It seems that ever since starting cooking school, I’ve been too busy to cook at home. Abe was wowed by a salad. I felt remorseful that expectations have sunk so low that a salad elicited such effusive praise. Well, compared to mac ‘n cheese or spaghetti with bottled sauce (the usual, it would seem), I guess this was a step up. Sigh.
Then I went to my Primary meeting. I was just starting to warm up to the calling–I loved the cub scout car wash, and I really enjoyed attending Primary on Sunday…but the meetings. I struggle. I hope/pray that with time I can learn to enjoy them more AND contribute more. Tonight I contributed nothing. At one point, I looked at the clock and let out an exasperated sigh without even realizing what I was doing, and afterward I was soooooooo embarrassed. Yikes!
I came home to discover Abe and the girls Skyping with my mom and getting ready for FHE.
Skyping with Nana.Lydia did a fashion show at the beginning of FHE. Mary is crying because she wants to participate. I forget why she couldn’t.Abe taught a lesson about Moroni building walls to protect his people.Lydia was riveted by the story of Amalikiah. She named her post-FHE popsicle “Amalikiah” and wanted us to tell her over and over again why Amalikiah was so mean.We can build our own strong walls with prayer, reading scriptures, and going to the temple. Here’s Abe teaching Mary about prayer.
And finally, some pictures Abe took while I was at my meeting:
At 5:54 am I awoke to the sound of the front door slamming. Abe leaves for work at 5:30 these days, and so I was terrified that someone was in the house. I crept to the stairs and heard light switches going on and off in the house. Convinced there was someone inside, I called 911.
Twenty minutes later, a team of six policemen swarmed the house, only to discover…nothing. I felt so dumb. But I honestly did hear the door slam, and I heard another door slam right before the police arrived. Since Abe and I are missing two full sets of keys, we had all the locks changed today just to be safe. Abe has promised to deadbolt the door behind him when he leaves for work.
To be honest, I still haven’t quite recovered from the adrenaline rush that accompanied lying in bed whispering on the phone with 911 for twenty minutes. It was terrible. I haven’t felt safe since. Also, I’m stressed out that I call 911 so much. This was my fourth call in two and a half years. If I operated 911, I would stop responding to my number’s calls. “Oh, it’s just the hystrionic lady in the Avenues who always thinks she’s under attack. Let’s respond to someone who actually NEEDS help…”
The only times I’ve forgotten the scare today were 1) visiting teaching Marilyn this morning and 2) having dinner with my mission friend, Jen! She’s from France, but her husband is American and they’ve been living in D.C. for the past five years. Jen was a director at Miriam’s kitchen during that time, and the experiences she shared uplifted us so much. We were so inspired by Jen and Chris’s passion for community and homeless-outreach.
Now that they’ve moved to Salt Lake, I’m looking forward to spending more time with Jen. She was also mission companions in Las Vegas with one of Abe’s high school friends, and so for our next get together we’re going to invite the Maudsleys over for dinner and let Katie and Jen reconnect. It’s been almost ten years since our missions!
Here’s a photo Abe took at the end of dinner. Chris was also taking pictures, and Jen and I are each looking at our hubby’s phone.
After church we laid low, although we did go outside for a bit to play in the srinklers.
Lydia running to pour the watering can on Abe and Mary.Lydia executes her plan.Picking tomatoes.Lying down for the “sleeping bunnies” song.The hopping part of the “sleeping bunnies” song.
This morning I set my alarm early so I could bake cookies for the cub scout car wash. Then Abe took Ada and Lydia to ballet while Mary and I headed over to dry some cars. I was scared to put Mary down near the cars, so I carried her while I dried and called it my work-out o’the day.
Then it was time for Liv’s birthday party at Liberty Park (by the Seven Canyons splash pad/rivers).
Abe had fun driving the girls around in Paige and Mike’s bike. Isn’t it amazing?
After we came home and napped, our friend Sharon Harris joined us for dinner. I didn’t take any pictures during dinner because every second with Sharon was precious. She’s from New York and has spent a couple weeks in Utah for the Neal A. Maxwell symposium. We were so glad to see her, even though the time flew by.
After dinner Tom and Suzanne took the girls to a Miner family party while Abe and I stayed home and did homework and lesson prep. We also took a beautiful walk to the grocery store. The sun was setting and the weather was gorgeous. We saw a neighbor slow dancing to Jazz music with his garden hose. That was truly delightful.
The Miners’ had a carnival of sorts going on because so many family members were in town.
Everyone had to wear shower caps covered in shaving cream. After the Cheeto fight, whoever was covered in the most cheetos won.The prizes.
Then it was home to bed. I have an early morning meeting tomorrow, so I should get to bed. Abe’s already asleep!
This morning we picked up Rose, Taina and Sev and headed over to Nordstrom to pick out some $12 sunglasses. I lose approximately two pairs per summer, and Rose offered to help me pick some. She did a great job, and I am so happy to not be squinting now!
Then we came home, ran through the sprinklers, and had a picnic.
Rose engineered our hose so that it could stay put like a sprinkler.
Mary was afraid of the sprinklers. Therefore, she hung on to me for dear life and didn’t appear in any of the sprinkler shots.
Rolling down the hill.
After naps, Isabella came so I could go swimming and grocery shopping. Then we all ate outside before heading to Baskin Robbins to celebrate the start of the weekend.
Isabella– Spiderman 2 flavored ice cream (chocolate and colored vanilla with exploding candy bits); Lydia–Very Berry Strawberry; Abe–Gold Medal; Mary–chocolate chip cookie dough; Lily–Mint Chocolate Chip. I should also not that this Baskin Robbins is where my visiting teachee, Marilyn, had her first date with her husband many decades ago. It’s stood the test of time!
Afterward, we went to Smith’s to pick out a toy for Liv’s birthday party tomorrow. Abe became passionately attached to a farm toy and went to elaborate lengths to convince me it was the perfect toy. I was convinced. We bought it.
Oh! I forgot to write down a funny thing that happened on Wednesday. We had gone down to Provo to hear Sharon’s talk, and we got lost. It took us forever to find the JFSB (one of the Joseph Smith buildings). Everyone kept saying, “It’s the one with the blue windows–you can’t miss it!” …and Abe and I kept missing it. All of the BYU campus buildings seem to have blue windows. Abe noted that they might have well said, “It’s the building with WALLS–you can’t miss it!”
Anyway, once we got to the building, we wandered all over until we finally found the symposium room. Afterward, as we attempted to navigate the maze out, Abe cried, “Oh, look! A street!!” in the same tone that one might use when saying, “Oh, look! We’re there!!”
This might be the place to note that while my sense of direction is far from stellar, Abe sometimes makes me feel like a professional navigator. That was one of those moments. I took his hand and gently led him back to the car (which was in the opposite direction of the street). We laughed the whole way there.
Also, I wish I could post a picture of Abe’s photo for his public transit pass. I haven’t seen him smile like that for a photo since our wedding day. He is definitely very happy to be free of his drive–he actually jumped out of bed at 5:40 am this morning to make his train. Abe is NOT a morning person, so again: More evidence that what he said tonight must be at least partly true. “Honey, without that drive, every second of my life feels enjoyable!!”
It’s late because we had a long night out with family and fireworks, so just pictures today. Abe has to get up at 5:45 am to take the train! Oh, I guess I should mention that he took the train today and realized the Provo bus was cancelled because today is Pioneer Day (a Utah state holiday, potentially bigger than July 4 here). He walked six miles to work. And then at the end he forded a river because he couldn’t find a bridge. Balu pointed out Abe had his own little Pioneer Day trek!
This morning the girls woke up early, so we raced down to the church for the Pioneer Day breakfast.
Pioneer Day breakfast at church.
Then we went to the parade:
Missionaries holding up the world. =)
Waving to the parade.
President Monson!
Isabella babysat the girls this afternoon so I could go swimming. Then I came home, made a salad, and headed over (with Abe and Balu) to the Miners’ family gathering for dinner and fireworks.
Making ice creamPre-fireworks. Once those started, she was pretty scared and not quite this happy.
On the way home, we parked by a hill and watched the Liberty Park fireworks and were blown away. They were definitely better than the 4th of July fireworks, and we thought those were pretty good! Well, it is Pioneer Day. In Utah. Light the sky on fire! (I can see and hear sooooooo many fireworks as I type…)
Today we started off early by heading over to Red Butte Gardens with Rose, Taina and Sev.
And then Paige was wonderful and watched the girls until their babysitter came an hour later. Yesterday I forgot to write down something funny Lydia said before Ada came over. Lydia is very conscious about what she wears in public, and she’s refused to appear in public with any pants that have holes in them. (Responding to my exasperation with tears streaming down her face: “But Mommy, what if someone seesthe holes in my pants??”) She happened to be wearing a pair of holey pants before Ada came, and she ran into my room right before Ada arrived saying, “Mommy, I need to change my pants so Ada doesn’t think I’m a dorphan (orphan)!”
Anyway, today I drove down to Provo to see my friend, Sharon Harris, speak at the Neal A. Maxwell symposium. She delivered a brilliant paper on singles wards and her solution to current retention problems of older single adults. (Change some infantilizing terms, scale back the transition age to “conventional” wards to 25, etc. Her full paper will be posted online after the symposium concludes.)
Then I came home, went shopping with the girls, and came home and cooked dinner.
Lydia in full princess regalia before dinner.
We ate outside. In the summer we sometimes go on Tofurkey dog kicks, and tonight we had Tofurkey dogs. Lydia announced they looked like poop and refused to eat hers. After a while, she closely observed how I ate mine with gusto, and then asked, “Mommy, can I eat some of your poop?” We might have died laughing.
Afterward Abe took them to the park while I ate s’mores and cleaned up.
A really sad thing happened just now. Lydia told me that she took Puss and Casper (her two cats that she sleeps with and LOVES) outside to play in the sprinklers with Ada. She never brought them back inside, and now we can’t find them. I asked her why she did that after I’d told her not to, and she tearfully replied, “Mommy, I did it because Puss wuvs (loves) to be siwwy (silly) and Casper reawwy wanted to pway (play)!” I felt so sorry for her. We said a prayer that we’d find them, and now I really do hope we find them.
