First things first: Grandma Darais’ surgery went extremely well today, and she is doing much better. We are very thankful. Abe has resolved to spend at least one lunch break a week with her in the event that she returns home, and I am trying to figure out how we can make it down to Provo more often to see her. We are very happy she is doing so well.
I think Abe had a great day at work, but we saw each other for a grand total of less than five minutes today. I did get one phone call in after my final, but I think we talked a lot about our various physical ailments (Abe’s now sure he has a virus, and I think I might have a virus/sinus infection combo).
On the school front, I aced my final exams in my lab class and that made me feel really happy. I sometimes wonder if it’s okay that I’m spending so much time away from my children, and getting some validation that I’m making progress in acquiring a much-desired skill felt great. I think after this is all done, I will appreciate being home with my children SO much more, and I will love not having so many competing interests. But for now, I love being at school when I’m there.
Before school, we had a fun morning with the Pe’a’s. Jen offered to teach me how to craft cute decorative blocks, and it was so fun crafting with her! I wish I had a picture of my blocks, but the day just slipped away and now they feel sooooo far away (even though they’re just downstairs…but it’s past midnight, and that feels like a trek). Anyway, I wasn’t the only one having fun. Lydia was in heaven playing with Natalie because Natalie not only has a ton of princess attire, but she is an excellent sharer.
In the meantime, here’s a picture of Mary at home reading a book about Babies:
Today we got the scary news that Abe’s Grandma Darais was doing poorly and the family was notified to come say good-bye. I drove the girls down to Provo and picked up Abe at work.
We drove to the hospital, and while we were there, her heart started responding! Not only that, but she elected to have a surgery that might help her condition. We will know more tomorrow, but for now, things are looking as good as they possibly can. We love her so much, and it was so meaningful to have a chance to tell her that. I wish I could have said more, but it was so emotional seeing her in such a hard condition that all I could really say was “I love you.” I guess that is what matters most, but I would love to one day tell her how much I love visiting with her, hearing her stories, and listening to her testimony. I also appreciate how good of a grandma she’s been to Abe. I hope we can still have that chance.
That’s really the most important news of the day. We are praying for her and hoping that she makes it through the night and tomorrow’s surgery successfully.
Here are some pictures from this morning and the hospital.
Playing in their room this morning.Abe was entertaining Mary. (She and Suzanne took this picture on Suzanne’s iPad.)
I took a bunch of happy pictures today, but don’t let that fool you. I’m pretty sure I spent the whole day yelling at Lydia–and occasionally at Mary. While at Sugar House Park this afternoon, I listened to this mom talk sweetly to her children and felt insanely jealous. I thought, “Wow, that woman seems exceptionally cut out for this mom business. I bet she never yells at her kids.” And then I proceeded to feel horrible about myself, even though I fully realize that:
1) I am nice to my kids on the playground too.
2) Who knows how that mom acts when she’s tired and not standing in the sunshine?
Which brings me around to the tired bit. I just don’t have any energy lately! It is so annoying. Today I decided to power through it and try to fold laundry, but I couldn’t even do that. With terrific effort, I managed to bring my kids to play group, the grocery store, Kid to Kid, and another park today, but by the end I couldn’t do anything but sit on the couch while the kids tore up the living room around me.
I think I’m tired because my coughing wakes me up at night. Like I said, it’s annoying, and I’m appropriately annoyed.
In addition, Lydia has invented her own swear words. Obviously, she doesn’t know what a swear word is–and I hope she hasn’t been in earshot when I let stuff slip–but she’s started yelling “SOCKS!” and “SAUCE!!!” when she’s extremely angry. I asked her what those words meant, and she explained that she says those words when she wants to hit. Lately, she’s been combining the words and the action–hence much of my yelling, but I was mildly amused that she essentially invented her own swear words. My dad always used to say that swearing was for people who were creatively stilted in the language department. I think Lydia’s invention would have made him happy.
On to the happy pictures and more happy news–Abe had ANOTHER great day at work. It’s kind of a miracle. When I met Abe, one of the first things I learned about him was that he hated his job, and the whole time he’s worked for Guardsmark, that sentiment has persisted. This switch to Qualtrics has been amazing.
One thing he loves is his coworkers. For example, today he left the flashers on his car, and one of his coworkers noticed and sent a memo out on some company thread that Abe didn’t read. When Abe went to his car after work, the person who noticed (who parked next to him) was ready with cables to jump Abe’s car. He knew the car’s battery would be dead, so he got prepared to help–even though he didn’t know whose car it was. When you work with people like that, it’s hard to dislike your work.
Lindsay Gardens for play group, 11 am:
Liv and Mary swinging
Paige pushed Lydia and Ada on the merry-go-round thing.
Sugar House Park, 3:30 pm:
I must have read A Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats to Lydia a million times. Watching her hit the tree with a stick made me recall “A stick that was just right for smacking a snow covered tree,” only this tree lacked snow.Cimbing this rainbow-monkey-bar contraption. At the top she panicked, but I stood below and she made it over. One thing I LOVE about Lydia is her caution. I know I should be cheering for her ability to surmount an obstacle, but I’m most proud of her sensitivity to her own safety. That’s my paranoia right there, thank-you very much.Hey! I just noticed that inadvertently took a picture of the mom who talked soooo sweetly to her kids. Doesn’t she even look like a nice mom? I’m still jealous.Wistfully watching some kids swing.I took these pictures of the girls swinging right before I gave Lydia a push that accidentally knocked her off the swing. We were both traumatized, but thankfully she was fine. I proposed driving home for a cupcake break, and that seemed to solve the problem.
For FHE, Abe built an obstacle course and dressed the girls up in their owl and monkey costumes. They had fun. I was supposed to give a spiritual thought, but I have felt less-than-spiritual (and I forgot), so we skipped that part.
This morning our competition team didn’t meet, so I celebrated by taking myself straight to Instacare. The doctor figured out right away that I have a sinus infection. She didn’t waste any time; even after I tried to tell her I was a little scared of taking antibiotics because I got C Diff last year, she interrupted and told me that I had nothing to worry about. I guess they run a tight schedule over in Instacare!
By the time I arrived home, Abe had started making pancakes, and he was just about to help celebrate the cat’s birthday. Every couple days Lydia announces that it’s Puss’s birthday, but today she was especially insistent that we celebrate. We indulged.
Then I practiced and gave Mary a piano lesson. Lately I have been too sick and tired to give Lydia lessons, but Mary is easy. I just helped her play “Twinkle” over and over. Abe took pictures.
Then we all ate lunch and took naps. Well, Lydia played on the iPad, but everyone else napped. Lydia had a meltdown when her headphones stopped working, so Abe got up and helped her. He then bought his plane tickets for his friend’s wedding in July. He ran into some snafus and, long story short, discovered that you can cancel your ticket if you call within twenty-four hours. Phew! We are so happy for that policy. He’ll try again next week.
I dragged myself out of bed to practice for the second half of my culinary fundamentals final next Thursday. We have to make chicken chardonnay, mashed potatoes and glazed carrots. I swapped out the carrots for green beans tonight, but maybe I’ll practice the carrots on Wednesday. My final last night tested a ton of knife skills and required me to make cream of mushroom soup and broccoli hollandaise. I accidentally scrambled my hollandaise in the thirty seconds it took me to take my plate out of the oven and arrange the broccoli on top, but I didn’t have time to redo it, so I just kind of smoothed out the globs and prayed for the teacher’s mercy.
I also have a test on Monday that certifies us for managerial positions in a food establishment. I really should have studied today because that test covers a ridiculous amount of material, including the scientific names of a bunch of different food borne illnesses that I can never remember or keep straight. Maybe I’ll find time on Monday…
But back to today. Qualtrics sent Abe’s work team to the Jazz game tonight. Because I’m pretty sure a basketball game might just bore me straight out of my mind, Abe took Lydia on a daddy-daughter date. She had a blast, although when she met Abe’s co-workers she didn’t respond to any of their attempts to engage in conversation. Abe explained that she is shy, and I explained to Abe that just yesterday I gave Lydia a long lecture on not talking to strangers. She was just following instructions.
Talking to her cat for twenty minutes and describing her evening. “Yeah, Puss, I’m at the arena. We’re at the Jazz game. Talk to you later!”Watching the game. Abe said she locked in and pounded popcorn the entire time.Almost smiling. When asked what her favorite part of the evening was, Lydia replied, “They winning!” Apparently, it was an exciting win.
Meanwhile, I spent the evening trying to catch Mary up on all of the things she’s missed out on because she’s a second child. We cuddled and read books, built towers, ate felt food and FaceTimed with my mom and grandma. She didn’t want to go to bed, so I got to rock and sing to her. We usually don’t have time to rock or sing to the girls before bed, so this felt really nice. She wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me big kisses–right before she started slapping my cheeks and giggling…
I’m excited to go apply some Vick’s before bed. I love that stuff–it’s the difference between breathing and not breathing for me. Here’s to sleeping through the night!
This morning over breakfast, Lydia turned to me and said, “Mama, what is it when I want something that Mary has?” I answered by telling her the word jealousy and explaining the concept a little bit. Lydia paused and then told me that Mary is a good sharer (which, for all of her hair-pulling antics, she really is). I agreed and then suggested Lydia could try to share more with Mary.
We ended the day full circle with Lydia screaming and crying on the ground because she wanted the pencils Mary had during our FHE craft. After a long post-tantrum cuddle, I asked Lydia what she was feeling, and she told me she was jealous. At least she knows, right?
The only eventful thing we did today that I don’t have pictures for is institute. We attended institute for approximately twenty minutes, at which point Lydia announced she was hungry and wanted to go home. I didn’t protest because the presenter was basically just summarizing Mark chapter by chapter. I was hoping for a little more commentary and a little less straight summary.
So I came home, fed the girls, and got a two hour nap in. Afterward, Lydia wanted to have a play date with Ada. I thought it was a long shot since it was already 3 pm, but it turned out that Paige was free! So we had a fun play date:
Then we had dinner and FHE, wherein we talked about gratitude and wrote a thank-you note for the Valentine chocolates our neighbor gave us all the way back in February…
Tantrum.The tantrum increases in intensity.Recovery.
Still sick here. I can’t wait for summer. Abe and I both slogged through our days, but the girls were in pretty good moods today. That was a blessing, because I spent a lot of the morning working on my power-point for a school presentation today, and I practiced. The competition is coming up soon, and even though I’m planning on withdrawing after the first round so that I can attend a family reunion, I still want to do my best. All that to say, the girls were very patient with me today because I could have scored a lot higher in the attentive-mom department.
The girls entertained themselves, though. Mom, that’s one of the dresses you got for Lydia’s birthday. She loves it. it’s her BEST twirling dress, and she specifically requests it so she can twirl.
I did listen to Lydia tell me stories, though. That was so fun. Lately I’ve been making up stories for her about her cat because that allows me to exert minimal physical effort and yet still feel like I’m kind of on the job. Today I got the pleasure of being the audience while Lydia told me stories…mostly about a little boy who died because he didn’t listen to his mommy. Every time she concluded with his death, her eyes would get really round and she’d nod knowingly.
Pleasure abated slightly at that point. Maybe I am too vigilant about pointing out the potential hazards all around all the time. “Lydia, do NOT run across that parking lot because you could get hit by a car and DIE.” “Lydia, do NOT hang on that bookshelf because it could fall on you and you could DIE.” “Lydia, hold mommy’s hand while we walk on the sidewalk because there are driveways in front of us and you could get hit by a car and DIE.” Also, in the spring we get ants and then we spend a lot of time killing ants. There’s too much death in her life, it seems. Tomorrow I’m going to take a break from homework and ant-killing and instead point out all the new little plants and the baby partridges we have in the neighborhood. Perhaps a little more focus on life and beauty will give Lydia some new happy endings for her stories.
Speaking of happy, tonight on my drive home from school I listened to the radio, and one of my favorite pieces came on. Holst’s Jupiter turned a sleepy, windy commute into an actively joyful, at times downright glorious experience. I have a copy of it somewhere. Maybe I’ll play that in the background during my life-is-also-happy discussion with Lydia.
Staying on the topic of happy, I came home to discover my friend Paige had dropped off a plate of chocolate chip cookies. I dropped out of our preschool group this morning because I just feel too overwhelmed right now, and she kindly brought over a good-luck-on-finals treat with a super sweet note. I felt so happy eating my favorite food in the whole wide world, chocolate chip cookies, and reading her note. That really topped my day off in a terrific way.
And tomorrow is going to be a fantastic day! Misty and I have a lunch date, and in the evening Karin is taking us to Log Haven for David’s birthday! (He’s in town!) Wow. A double whammy of fun. I can’t wait. Better go to bed so I can wake up and have it be tomorrow already.
Here are the pictures Abe took while I was at school:
Mary Berry.
Then he asked Lydia to smile and look at the camera. She couldn’t manage to do both actions simultaneously, but she did get down a succession:
The girls went down for naps and quiet time super early today, and instead of doing homework like I should have done, I read a couple hours into The Return of the King. It turned out to be an apt read; while I was feeding the girls an after-nap meal, I killed about a dozen ants in my kitchen. I couldn’t help but think about Tolkein’s description of the Rohirrim in battle–specifically, I thought about how they sang as they fought. I didn’t feel like singing while I was killing ants, but the glimmer of satisfaction I felt helped me understand that initially bewildering passage a little better.
After the girls were fed, I took them outside to play:
Then I took them to the library, grocery shopping, the gas station, and back home. Abe arrived shortly after we did, and after dinner he bathed and chased the girls while I cleaned the downstairs and practiced. I was supposed to go to school tonight, but I’m feeling kind of icky and a brand new cold has introduced itself at our house. I am trying to avoid getting sick yet again.
Oh! I forgot to mention that while I was at school yesterday, Abe cleaned the whole house. I came home and fell in love with my husband all over again. It was soooooo nice, especially since I never feel like I have time or energy to clean these days. I hate the messes that accumulate, and having them gone has felt like THE greatest luxury. I’m going to try to be better at staying on top of the messes since today I enjoyed my mess-free life so much more than my regular mess-filled life.
I neglected to take any pictures today, but basically we stayed home all day and recovered from life. I cleaned some stuff, gave Lydia a piano lesson, cooked with Lydia, spent a ton of time just playing with the girls and read another ton of books to them. We had FHE on the priesthood and talked about priesthood blessings (since we have all been so sick), and we ended by watching songs from Mary Poppins on Youtube.
In some ways, it was a delightful day because I got to spend so much time with the girls. On the other hand, I had the hardest time controlling my temper at Lydia, which makes me so, so sad. I hope she doesn’t grow up confused; one minute I will be hyperventilating trying not to yell (or I’ll just go ahead and yell) and the next I’ll be cuddling her, saying sorry, and asking her if she knows how much I love her. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just crazy or if parenting toddlers always feels this schizophrenic. I’m leaning toward the former, although I really don’t recall experiencing such fast and dramatic emotional swings before parenting. Maybe it was all suppressed before.
She did say some really cute things today which I can’t remember now. Yesterday when Abe came home he ran up the stairs and asked if all of his princesses were there. Lydia responded: “Yes, Daddy, you have lots of princesses here! There’s Mary, Mama, me, Puss and Tabitha (her two cats). We’re all your princesses.”
Mary said “bear” today after she brought me a teddy bear and we played “going on a bear hunt” for the next twenty minutes. Maybe we just need to make games out of everything to get her to talk. She was also in one of her “don’t put me down or pay attention to anything but me” modes for quite a bit of the day. Oh! And she slept in until 11 am this morning!!! I couldn’t believe it. I had to check a couple times to make sure she was alive, as that had never happened before. Usually the girls are up between 7 and 8. Between her cut lip, pink-eyed eyes, and out-of-the-blue-nighttime-wake, she must have been exhausted.
Anyway, I also started The Return of the King today, so I’m going to stop blogging now and go read that.
Today was a bad day. Well, Abe had a good day–his promotion interviews went well, and he came back very happy and energetic. I immediately turned over the girls and went to bed.
Mary woke up with pinkeye this morning, which was sad. Taking my mom to the airport was sad. Going to the doctor’s office for Mary’s pinkeye was sad, as was dragging my sobbing toddler across the parking lot (she’s scared of our super-sweet doctor). Grocery shopping with two children was…actually, not that sad. They were great at the store.
Coming home was sad because we spent the rest of the day eating on and off and cleaning my kitchen. I HATE meal time. And the whole day felt like one big meal. Then Mary developed pinkeye in her other eye, which means for the next week I will be administering eye drops to both children’s eyes four times a day. They kick and scream and swat away the eye drops, and the whole process stinks.
Also, my house is a mess:
Okay, okay, Abe cleaned up those messes, but there are plenty more around the house.
To top it off, while I was kneeling by the bed helping Lydia find Frozen on the iPad this evening (Abe didn’t make it home until 8pm), Mary tripped over my feet and her teeth ripped a whole in her chin. An inch below her lip is a big, tooth-shaped tear, and the poor thing was soooooo sad. I felt so bad for my poor baby with her ouchy eyes and ripped-up chin.
This morning was beautiful outside, so I packed breakfast snacks and let the girls eat in the jogger while I took a two hour walk. We walked up to the part of City Creek Canyon where bright green clovers grow in the creek; ever since we’ve moved here, that’s what I look for every year to tell me it’s Spring. And wow, is it Spring! The clovers were lush, bright green, and much more abundant than I’ve ever seen them. Too bad I didn’t take my phone–I wish I could have taken a picture. The birds were chirping, the creek was gurgling, and that bright green clover made me really happy.
The sad part is that I have had shin splints for over a week, and the two hour walk (with a couple short jogs in the middle) exacerbated them to the point where I spent the rest of the day in a mild state of pain. Happily, on my walk home, I ran into Aria and Anique, both avid runners with lots of shin splint experience, and they gave me some tips. There’s hope!
Then I came home, cleaned the house, fed the girls, and gave Lydia a piano lesson. We make such little progress in these lessons that sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it. But then I always conclude that it is worth it, just because Lydia and I get so much one-on-one time, and, if nothing else, Lydia is learning to sit and focus at the piano. At first I’d give her a treat when the lesson was done, but then I started to worry she’d confuse sugar with happiness, so now at the end of our lesson we take water breaks and read together. It’s my favorite part.
Then I finished my book, fed the girls, practiced the piano, and cleaned the house. Abe and I had planned on going to the temple tonight, but as soon as Abe brought the baby-sitter over, he checked his wallet and could not find his recommend. He searched for fifteen minutes and finally gave up. Truthfully, I was so disappointed. I had been looking forward to going to the temple all day, and I almost suggested that I go by myself–but then I didn’t know what we’d say to the babysitter, who was already at our house. We ended up going to the Cheesecake Factory, since Abe’s mom gave him a gift card there a while back. When it came time to pay, Abe found his recommend behind his credit card. I guess it wasn’t meant to be a temple night, and even though I was initially disappointed, I always love talking to my husband, so it turned out okay.
The flash on the camera phone is blinding. This is Abe enduring it. Abe took a picture of me, but my lopsided squint in the face of the flash made me look inebriated, which I was NOT.
