This morning we had a relief society lesson on the nature of God. Our teacher referenced The God Who Weeps in class, a book I started but didn’t finish last year. It was a wonderful, beautiful book, and maybe I’ll get around to finishing it this year! I, um, hope.
In Sunday School, we talked about our premortal existence. Somehow, the lesson got translated into this: Life is painful, but hang on and have faith! …A far cry from the outline in the manual, I’m sure. Also, lessons where the teacher and class sink into how hard life is always make me feel slightly uncomfortable. I mean, I know I complain a lot, but at no point in time am I so deluded by self pity that I actually think my life is hard hard. Sometimes I wish it were harder so I could exercise more faith and endure, but seeing as it’s not, I am most interested in keeping the flames of faith burning and keeping apathy at bay. Lessons where members of my beloved little class all seem to agree that life is about Endurance make me feel like I should suffer more.
Then I came home, ate, napped, and cooked dinner. Tom and Suzanne came over tonight, and that was so fun. I made the usual: stuffed squash rings, steamed broccoli, cheese souffle, rolls, and baked pears. It all got eaten before we could take a picture.
But here are the pictures we did take!
When she’s not picking her nose, Lydia is picking her lip. Sigh.
Abe got a blessing from his dad today for his new job, and I got a blessing for the new semester. I feel really good and peaceful right now, and I guess at the end of the day, I’m really glad there’s a void of serious suffering in my life (at least right now).
We got to church over an hour late today…oops! Guess we stayed up too late last night.
During Sacrament meeting, Mary lay on the floor and cuddled Chester, a service dog. (His owner is our friend and gave us explicit, unsolicited permission.) Lydia, who is scared of dogs, interrupted the whole meeting by crying in a loud, terrified voice,” Daddy!! Get May-wee! Chester is going to eat her!!”
In other news, we caught up on sleep all afternoon, and then I cooked for the rest of the day. We had Balu, Fallon, Morgan, Audrey and Eli over for dinner. I made stuffed pumpkins again ($1 pumpkins at Sprouts right now!) and followed through with the actual kale-garlic mashed potatoes recipe that I didn’t quite finish last week. Last night I dried out spelt bread for the pumpkins. I think this time was the best go of the pumpkins yet; the quality of the bread makes SUCH a difference! In my ideal world, the next time I’d try this would be with brioche or challah…but let’s be serious. That type of bread wouldn’t last long enough to go stale in my house, so spelt might be as good as it gets.
Audrey and Lydia and Mary spent the evening running around the house playing with each other. It was so cute to see how Audrey and Lydia included Mary in their play and even became distressed when Mary would wander back to the grown-ups. Meanwhile, the grown-ups were going ga-ga over 23 pound, one-year old Eli (his 3 year old sister, Audrey, weighs a mere three pounds more than he). He kept flashing the table these adorable, mile-wide grins that melted us right down through the floor.
Balu was a great sport and endured another dinner conversation about parenting, Provo and potty-training, and he remained jovial through it all. We love him.
At bedtime, Lydia said the most beautiful prayer of her life. I have Balu, my mom, and Abe to corroborate what I’m recording, and I hope if I get any of it wrong or leave out parts, they’ll help me amend this post later. We did not help Lydia at all–this is just what was in her heart tonight.
“Fank-you (“thank-you”) that Balu and Nana could come over. Fank-you that Daddy could get a new job. Fank-you that May-wee and me can get a good sweep (sleep). Fank-you for Marian (Anderson, the African American opera singer from the 30’s). Fank-you for my new books. Fank-you that we can sleep in late. Fank-you for all of my bwessings (blessings). In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”
I’m sure I’m leaving parts out because it was quite a long prayer, but that’s what I remember. At the end we were all so grateful for our sweet, grateful little girl.
Here are today’s pictures:
After Mary’s nap, we neglected to go to her right away. We then found Lydia by Mary’s Pack ‘n Play saying, “May-wee, are you awake sweet baby? Do you want to get out of your cwib?” It was very touching.
Okay, I haven’t been able to sleep well since I wrote my little blurb on modesty, so I’ve decided to air the reasons why the post was so hypocritical. Please don’t get me wrong; I believe absolutely everything I wrote, but in terms of “walking the walk,” um, I certainly don’t (or at least didn’t use to) walk it. I intend to do better in the present and the future, but, as many of my previous roommates can attest, I certainly didn’t adhere to those guidelines in the past.
Okay, it hurts to even type this, but after my mission I spent approximately $10,000 on laser hair removal. (The first rounds didn’t work, so I had to start from the beginning in grad school.) Take that, poor people of the world! Also, I’m sure I have spent no less than hundreds of hours trying to tame my hair (and hogging plenty of mirrors…sorry, ex-roommies!). And, as long as I am confessing, during stressful periods of my life, I also have engaged in major spurts of “retail therapy.” A saint in the spending department I am not.
But my studies recently have led me to my present views on modesty, and since life is all about learning and moving forward in continually enlightened states, I am hoping to do better in the future. I hope my daughters will do better than I did in the modesty department, but I guess even if they succumb to the beauty culture that saturates our society, that’s not the end of the world, right? Hopefully they can keep learning and moving on, too, and I hope I can give them and everyone else lots of room to do that. (Also, if any one of them wants laser hair removal, I WILL fund that for them. I’ll try to offset that offensive spending by serving missions from age 50-death.)
Okay. Lots more skeletons in my closet, but at least those are the ones that kept me up at night recently. Maybe I can finally sleep well tonight?
Also, in terms of today, it has an icky feeling about it. Abe got some really bad news in his private off-the-blog life, and I just feel so sick for him. He’s so resilient and optimistic, but it pains me to see such a good person endure a trial.
Before I heard his bad news, I let Lydia have “do-whatever-you-want” time, which is different than quiet time because she’s allowed to leave her room. It was an experiment, and it worked! Lately, she’s had an allergic reaction to the start of “quiet time,” and even though once it started she appeared to have fun, I just felt bad about how much she didn’t like starting quiet time. Anyway, the only rule in “do-whatever-you-want” time is that she can’t interrupt my piano practice, and she did great! She even wandered into the living room and played near me at times, but she never interrupted. Considering I got in three hours of practice and made dinner, this was a toddler feat.
Also, all I did during practice was try to memorize the really simple, one page Traumerai. I can not even begin to describe how difficult that simple task was for my burnt out brain. After all that work, I doubt if I try to play it from memory tomorrow I will succeed. Well, who even knows if I’ll get a chance since we have a four-hour wedding and then Diwali in the evening.
That’s my cue to post pictures…:
Cookie break at Whole Foods this morning.Post-lunch, pre-nap play.Better go get the phone!Mommy, it’s for you!Lydia waiting for me to stop taking pictures and start reading to her already.
