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Today I woke up feeling completely dead. I rested until after 9 until I finally got up to do the budget. Lily was also super tired. I then met with my financial advisor Dave Cotrell to get conversations going about a life insurance policy that is also an in investment vehicle. That was fun, but also mentally taxing. Afterwards, I finished the budget, had lunch and just rested.

While working on the budget, Ammon and Clarissa colored in my office.

Lydia and Mary played Bananagrams in the morning. I forgot to mention in yesterday’s blog that last night Lily and I played bananagrams with Lydia and Mary. It was so much fun!

When I finally felt some energy, I did my 500 workout (though, more like 300, since I only did 6 repetitions). Ammon was dressed like a ninja, and he was busy exercising with me and trying to be stealthy like a ninja all around me while I exercised. I was grateful for the chance to incorporate him into my exercise so I could both spend time with him and get my workout.

Then I cleaned the dog poop in the yard, and then showered and got ready for the day. After being ready for the day (at the bright and early hour of 4:30 PM lol) I wanted to both make dinner and also play with the kids. I got an idea to turn dinner into a restaurant and involve the kids in running the restaurant. Ammon and Clarissa helped choose the restaurant’s name: Agua Ninja Sidekick Princess Restaurant. I made and printed menus and Ammon and Clarissa colored them. Mary put price labels on everything. Lily and Lydia were having a girl’s night out at the bookstore and other place and the idea was that they would come home to the restaurant. Clarissa helped dry the lettuce, and Ammon and Clarissa toasted the hamburger buns. Ammon helped set the table, and Mary helped train Ammon and Clarissa on how to run the service aspect of a restaurant. It was so fun! Mary even made a menu for Basil and put Basil in a tie for the occasion. When Lily and Lydia came home, it all came together (see video below).

This was a particularly intense work week so it was really nice that Kim and a few of the managers that report to her all had a ski activity in the afternoon today. I really like working for Kim, and it was fun to meet her husband too. Trevor and Sara also skied with us. Group pictures are on Kim’s phone, but here is one I shot of myself.

On Thursday after dropping Clarissa off at dance I headed to the Y to meet up with Courtney and Heidi. We had a great time hiking all the way up until switchback 9 when it got muddy and we needed to turn around if we wanted to be back in time for picking up our kids from various things. We chatted about our lives, shared outrage over Ukraine, and discussed what originally brought us together, our faith transitions.

At the base of the Y Heidi and I spent some more time chatting until Clarissa called me from someone else’s phone and told me her dance was finished. Abe had told me that he would get her after since Qualtrics is right across the street from Smash Dance, but he had forgotten. It was not a problem since the receptionist was so sweet and watched Clarissa until I got her–and the delight of getting my first phone call ever from Clarissa alone made my day!

After picking up Clarissa we picked up Nana, who treated us all to impossible whoppers that we brought home to Lydia. (She was home because she spent the entire night before reading and was too tired to go to school.) I had to run and clean Basil because he had gotten so muddy on the hike.

Clarissa and my mom spent a lot of time together and Clarissa was so upset when it was time for my mom to go.

Lydia had ballroom and in the evening, and Clarissa and Lydia had practice with Erica, the BYU student who now helps them practice harp on Thursdays.

In the evening Abe, Mary, Eloise and I went to the Utah Symphony at the Noorda. We had no idea what the Noorda was or where it was. It turns out we have a gorgeous performing arts venue less than five minutes from our house! Abe and I literally used to run the track across from it in the mornings and had no idea it was there because it is hidden behind some buildings.

My favorite part of the evening was when the orchestra played the Ukrainian national anthem. I have been obsessively following the news and reading about the situation, and hearing how poignant their anthem is had me in tears. Besides that every single piece played was thrilling–including Shostakovich Symphony no. 5, which they played since some can interpret it as resistance to the Soviet Union. Throughout the evening I kept thinking about the irony of how we had the opportunity to listen to music–even some pieces of possible resistance–while Ukranians are dying for their democracy.

It is painful to be privileged and feel helpless, but it is far more painful to watch your children and husband be slaughtered by a remorseless despot. I keep daydreaming of just flying to Ukraine and fighting alongside the Ukrainians, but then I think that since I do not speak Russian and have no idea what to do with a weapon, I would be more of a hindrance than a help. I have tried so many times to donate to the Ukranian military, but I think Russia has hacked that site. Instead I am donating to World Kitchen, listening to news, books and podcasts nonstop, and hand wringing.

On Wednesday I went to the 9am bikram yoga in Lehi. I always dread the commute but never regret having done that for my body after.

Then I came home, did a bunch of laundry, tidied the house, showered, and went to my therapy appointment. Vhari did internal family systems therapy with me and I felt like we made huge progress. I am such a fan of Vhari.

Then I did some groceries, picked the kids up, and took them to the park since the weather was beautiful! After the park we went to the Orem library to check out the Martha Hughes Cannon exhibit I’d seen an email about. I told the older girls to study the exhibit and tell me at least three facts about it while the little ones ran around.

After I read them all a book and then drove through Burger King for impossible whoppers for dinner. When we got home every child made it through their required instrument practice and I helped Ammon do an hour and a half of homework.

Abe came home late because his boss is in town and they had a work dinner at Block. Honestly, if I had to choose between an impossible whopper and a Block dinner, I’d actually hesitate a long time–before probably choosing Block. But those impossible whoppers are so good!

I was exhausted today mostly from how hard I’ve been pushing at work and life in general. Ammon was still sick today with super strange symptoms. Yesterday his head hurt so bad he was wailing. He said his brain hurt, his eyes hurt, his neck hurt and his stomach hurt. Also, one of his eyes was having trouble aligning. Yesterday, we took him to the doctor who thought it was a virus. Today the symptoms were better than yesterday, but they were still persisting. We felt very concerned because the symptoms seemed so atypical to us of what a normal sickness would be. We consulted Swathi and took him in to our doctor’s office again. At the end of all of it, we felt reassured that it likely is a virus. The doctor we say said this is the worst year he has ever seen in his life for viruses in Utah, and that something is going around right now causing headaches and vomiting. We’ll keep an eye on symptoms, but if they get worse instead of better, we are definitely taking Ammon to the ER. The doctor also put our minds at ease about the possibilities of tumor or meningitis which was really helpful.

Lily was a superstar and was by Ammon’s side for hours upon hours today, doting on him, giving him attention and taking care of him. Here are some cute pictures of our little Ammon!

Lily is also learning tons about Russia and the Ukraine and it is so great learning new things from her.

After taking Ammon to the doctor, I dropped the girls off at dance, picked up Nick, helped him fax some documents to Utah Legal Services for his SSA cases, picked up the girls, took Nick to Walmart, got burger king (impossible whoppers are amazing!), got donuts, dropped Nick off and went home. I was chuckling to Lily as I told her how charmed Clarissa’s life is. Clarissa went to ballroom, chatted it up with Nick, at a burger, had a donut and then within minutes her eyes were heavy and she passed out to sleep.

Also, today was my grandma Darais’ birthday. I loved her and continue to love her so much and was so touched watching this video my aunt Andrea sent out that my cousin Adam made a while ago.

Today I woke up around 7:30 to Ammon yelling that he peed his bed and he needed help taking care of the wet sheets. Once I was up, I decided to work on our taxes. Then I had a call with my beloved AXB group. After that, I showered and got ready for the day and listened to some church. The scripture for the day was the transfiguration of Christ, and my favorite part of the lesson was contemplating transformation in our own lives using the example of caterpillars transforming to Monarch butterflies. I learned that in a cocoon, caterpillars literally digest themselves so that all that is left inside the cacoon is a soupy goop made up of cells with the exception of some imaginal discs which are starter components for the butterfly that survive digestion, and organize the soupy goop of cells to build off of the imaginal discs into parts of a butterfly until it is a complete creature. So fascinating. Nature blows me away.

After church, I helped Lily clean the basement before fishing. Lily has been doing so much of the cleaning and laundry (I’ve barely pitched in lately in that area), so I was really grateful to actually do something to help with the house. Then Ammon showed me the lego creations that he and Clarissa had been busy building:

Then I went fishing with Mary. It was so fun. Mary has decided to be a vegetarian and she has lasted over a week. After buying our wax worms, I took her to get an Impossible Whopper at Burger King and we both loved our burgers so much. Mary almost finisher hers and that is a huge sandwich!

At the lake, the ice was so thin that we didn’t even need an auger. We just used it to butt through the ice that was about as thick as cardboard. We had our fishfinder and could tell hardly and fish were in our area, but we didn’t have tons of time or options for fishing spots due to the thin ice, so we stayed put. I just love the way time slows down when I fish, and I loved being with Mary, and we also called and chatted with my dad which I loved.

After a delightful time fishing, I took Mary to home-church at Whitney’s house. As always I found it to be deeply nourishing.

At home, the Giles came over to listen to our kids play their instruments. They are so fun, engaging, and affirming that our kids could not get enough of them. People were literally fighting for their attention. They were so sweet and indulgent to listen to everyone clamoring to talk to them. Clarissa especially was talkative and had them look at her crab walk 2 or 3 times. We all had so much fund being with them and Lily and I sent them (and then received) gushy texts afterwards because of how grateful we were for how they lit up our evening.

Then Lily had book club while I worked more on homework with Ammon and I put the kids down.

Then Lily and I just hung out for an hour and talked about the Ukraine and Russia war that is going on. We are so inspired by how the Ukrainian president and people are showing so much bravery right now by not backing down. They are standing up to Russia in ways that will likely get them killed, but watching a leader especially take that kind of risk for his people is incredibly inspiring. Lily and I tried to donate to the Ukrainian cause, but the payment wouldn’t go through on the website.

My work pace last week was unusually intense, and I finished the work week completely out of gas. Lily has also been super exhausted, and we both slept and rested very late. I did not get out of bed until 10:30 and It’s hard to describe how nourishing that felt.

After I got up, Lily and I watched a Clarissa fashion show (Lydia and Mary loved dressing her up), combined with dance routines from various kids. We caught some videos.

After I showered and got ready for the day, I took the kids to Cook’s to pick out a bunch of trees for our yard. This quarter, it is my number one home project I’m hoping to get done. The kids were very energetic, but Cook’s was almost empty and picking out trees was an outdoor activity, so it was fine having the kids be active. They all got lollipops at the end.

We then all went to Aubergine to eat. Clarissa smelled bad because she had poo in her underwear so I had to creatively figure out how to handle that in the bathroom, and then we had a really nice dinner together (with only one tipped cup). I love Aubergine!

I feel I’ve rediscovered frozen yogurt, and I’ve been daydreaming about it again. There was a Yogurtland right next to Aubergine and I took the kids there after dinner. Then we all got groceries at Sprouts and went home.

While we were gone, Lily watched some Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, and then frantically worked on the house and laundry. The house looked really good when we got home.

I did a little homework with Ammon before we got the kids to bed, and then Lily took a long bath while I played a lot of guitar. Guitar was so nourishing for me.

Today was Ammon’s 100 day at school, so he got to wear the shirt he and I made yesterday with 100 legos on it. He was so excited, and he later told me everyone at school (except Phoenix who is not nice to him) circled around him to admire his shirt (If I understood Ammon correctly).

I had one of the most intense work days I’ve had in a long time. By the end of the day, I was almost in an exertion shock, but it was fun feeling so engaged and moving the needle on my territory. Lily was also super busy on her end. She did the whole morning routine since my day started with a 7:30 meeting, and then she dropped off Ammon at school, then dropped off Mary at school, then dropped off Clarissa at Ballet, then took Lydia to the dentist to have a cavity filled, then picked up her mom, picked up Clarissa from Ballet, dropped off Lydia at school, then brought Georgia home to hang out, then later drove Georgia home and picked up all the kids from school. I was very plugged into work, but it was a delight to see Georgia briefly when I came upstairs quickly for some food.

I worked until just before 6 which is about when Lily left to have dinner with her friends Charity and Mikayla. She loves them! I picked up Lydia from ballroom dance, and then took all the kids out to eat. We were trying to decide where to go when Clarissa announced she had to pee and started making squealing noises like she was about to burst that stressed the heck out of me. I’ve had her make those noises and then wet her pants, and I’ve also had her make those noises and then either declare she doesn’t have to go, or forget she has to go once she gets home, or try to go and nothing comes out. It’s a highly unreliable signal, but it sure gets my cortisol up.

If nothing else, Clarissa’s squealing did help us make a dinner decision. Ihop was super close so we went there to eat and let Clarissa use a bathroom. She did not seem in a hurry to go once we walked in the restaurant.

The kids were totally crazy at Ihop, and I didn’t like what I ordered much, but I still had a good time. The kids were not bad, or rude, they just had immense amounts of happy energy that was hard for them to contain, and I kept shushing them especially since everyone else in the restaurant seemed to be whispering as though we were in a library. The food took a very long time to come, and so we made up ways to pass the time. When Lydia went to the bathroom, I said if the food wasn’t on the table when she got back, I would stand on my head. When Mary went in the bathroom, I said if the food wasn’t there when she got back, I would tell Lily I changed my name to pineapple. The girls got a serious kick out of this, and since the food wasn’t on the table in either case, I delivered on both promises when I got home, much to the girls delight. The outing culminated with Lydia and Ammon being energetic and knocking over Lydia’s gravy which got all over the floor. I cleaned most of it, and apologized to the waitress. At that moment, I announced that the donuts we were all looking forward to were no longer happening because they were too wild in the restaurant.

At home, the kids all got in their pj and brushed their teeth and we danced. Lydia also had a great time petting Basil’s belly. Do you think he’s enjoying it?

Then Erika came over. She’s a BYU student harpist who we just hired to help train Clarissa and Lydia. I played legos with the other kids during Clarissa’s lesson, and then put Clarissa to bed, chatted with Lily and finished up tasks at my desk. Here is a video of what Clarissa worked on during her practice:

Also, there is currently a lot of sadness and concern all around about Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.

Right now we are very busy, but it is with a lot of fun things so there are no complaints.

I had a busy day at work, and while working Lily was busy at home and also went to lunch with our friend Sarah who has moved back to the states. After work, I picked up all the kids from school, took Mary’s love notes to Georgia, dropped off Lydia and Mary (for Lily to do music practice with them), and then took Ammon and Clarissa to their make-up school photos for the Arches year book (we were traveling during picture day). They were super cute, and the photographer Scott was really funny and played with and threw his Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal to get Clarissa to laugh (she had just woken up and was grumpy and it was very hard to get a good smile out of her, but he did!).

After the photoshoot, I picked up the dinner order Lily placed at Spicey Thai and then went home and quickly made Ammon’s 100 shirt with him. Tomorrow is the 100th day of school, and kids are invited to wear a shirt with 100 things on them. I only had 20 minutes or so, so Ammon quickly picked out 100 legos, and I superglued them onto a shirt. My hands were covered in glue by the end. It was very fun!

Then Lily took care of the kids and put them down (Thank you Lily!) while I went to a super fun dinner with my most strategic partner right now, CommonFont. They are based in Montana and love biking and skiing etc and we got along super well. After that I went straight to Nick’s to pick him up and make it just in time for our float appointment. Lily had suggested the idea because of how stressed Nick was. Both Nick and I had wonderful floats and Nick said he felt relaxed and wants to go back! After that we grabbed some food, and ran by the bank for Nick and I dropped him off. I got home at 10:30 and read competitive strategy by Michael Porter while Lily read her book and then went to bed. What a good and busy day!

Lydia helped Clarissa get dressed up all fancy and with make-up and then did a photo-shoot of her.

She also got some cute pictures of Basil.

Lily and the kids also had a super fun playdate with Amy and her kids. We love them!

I worked extra hard today, but I feel I am now in a position to take life at a more reasonable clip which I am very very happy about. While I was working, I skipped lunch and on my empty stomach I smelled bread that Lily baked through my vent. It was intoxicating, it smelled so delicious!