This morning was PERFECT. If every morning could be like this one, I’d have it made! The kids slept in, so before I got them for breakfast, I had a chance to read scriptures, write in my scripture journal, run two miles (on the treadmill in the basement), and take a shower. It was wonderful.
Then I fed the kids breakfast, after which Mary asked for a nap and Lydia asked for quiet time. Um, sure? I put them down and practiced for an hour before I got them up to go to Lydia’s swimming lesson. I spent the entire lesson chasing Mary outside. She loves being chased. Then it was lunch and more quiet time. I got another two hours of piano in, plus folded a load of laundry AND tidied/cleaned the house.
Then Lydia and I went outside for a nail painting party.
Then I fed the girls a snack before leaving for school.
I have so much anxiety before class these days. I basically spiritually crawl to the feet of Jesus the whole car ride to school and beg for help/strength to make it through class. So far, that tactic has served me well. Tonight went great. I made ratatouille, a fish dish, a sauce, escargot, and some vinaigrette.
My ratatouille and my teammate’s mousse.My escargot. The culinary genius in the class was the mastermind behind the plating.My sloppy plating of my teammate’s pork tenderloin. I found out all about plating spoons today, and I want to buy one before the next class. A plating spoon would help me control the lines of the sauce so much better.The culinary genius, Jon, told me afterward that a good trick is to simply spoon the sauce around the fish, or spoon it in two random spots right next to the fish (so it looks like the fish is sitting on top of the sauce). I will try that next time. I was happy with the way the veggies on top looked, though.
Since I suffer from social anxiety already, the addition of interpersonal friction is almost too much for me to handle. I know it’s wimpy, but I was just plain scared to go to class yesterday. I asked everyone who would listen for prayers, I put my own name on the temple roll for the first time EVER, and I even did a complete, no-cheat fast. The whole way to school I listened to KLove, and I almost called up their prayer team to pray for me. I was driving, so I thought that dialing might not be smart, but I needed all the help I could get!
While in my anxiety-ridden state, I had two helpful thoughts. 1) I started meditating on John 15. I thought about how Jesus is the vine, and even though I felt like I had absolutely no strength to handle any more friction, my connection to Christ would strengthen me and power me through whatever came my way. 2) I thought about Ezra, one of my favorite OT heroes. I thought about how he and the Jews at the River Ahava had no idea how their story would end, but they made that dangerous trip to the temple in faith. God didn’t let them down. It seems like all people of faith have to turn it over to God and trust that He will write a triumphant conclusion to their stories; yesterday was an opportunity for me to witness God do that for me (even if my situation was a result of my own anxiety and weakness).
And guess what? He DID! The first thing that happened when I got to class was the woman who yelled at me last week smiled a huge smile and greeted me warmly. Then she quietly apologized for her behavior last week. Can you believe it? Who apologizes these days? Practically no one, right? So I considered it a divine miracle, as well as an attestation of her excellent character. The rest of class was enjoyable, and I got to know her a lot better. I found out very endearing things about her, and I felt so happy to have that friction gone.
Looking back, I realize God carried me through that trial. While driving to school, I knew I didn’t have it in me to handle one more stressful interpersonal conflict with Christian love and grace, and I asked Jesus to somehow carry me through or work with me anyway. He took away the problem entirely, and so I didn’t have to deal with 1) scary conflict or 2) my own inability to handle the situation. He inspired my teammate to apologize, and he created opportunities for us to talk and connect. By the time I left, divine love for my teammate was present, natural, and flowing–all due to divine intervention. I love God and all He does for me and my petty problems. Praise Him.
Today wasn’t very dramatic, but I was very happy all day long and thought a lot about what God did for me yesterday. This morning Lydia had a swim lesson, and then we went to the grocery store and came home. Mary is teething and took a five hour nap (!), during which time I napped, cooked dinner, and baked cookies.
We own a wonderful rendition of Rapunzel wherein Rapunzel’s pregnant mother tells her husband that if he doesn’t get her some rapunzel from the sorceress’ garden, she will die.Now, I have had my share of cravings, but I always thought that line was overkill. Well, today I literally ate my words. I honestly felt that if I did not eat chocolate chip cookie dough and chocolate chip cookies, I would die! I have never made chocolate chip cookies so fast in my life, and the funny thing is, while I was madly mixing together ingredients, Lydia decided to give me an out-of-the-blue lecture on my chocolate consumption,
“Mommy, you are a chocolate mommy and you need to try new treats because chocolate is unhealthy. If you eat too much chocolate, Santa will give you coal in your stocking but he will give me, Mary, and Daddy presents. Jesus can help you not eat chocolate. Just ask Him. Remember what Daniel Tiger says? You’ve got to try new things ’cause they might taste goo-ood! See, Mommy? You need to try new things, like kisses…er, not kisses…”
“Like marshmallows, honey?”
“Yes, marshmallows! And candy canes.”
She went on and on like that for approximately half an hour. I listened to the phrase “chocolate mommy” so many times I thought she might actually think I’m part chocolate. At any rate, I was a chocolate mommy today, and I needed cookies. I’m eating another one now.
We had Wendi Rees over for dinner, but alas, I did not take a picture. Christine Hansen and her three kids were supposed to come, but they had strep. Since I had enough food prepared for seven people, I just packed up the leftovers and took them to Christine. We had a lovely visit. I stood outside the whole time because, if you’ve noticed my categories, you will notice we are not all often healthy in this house. As in, I could probably count on my fingers and toes how many days all four of us have been illness free in the past nine months. I don’t want strep in the middle of the summer on top of it all.
I do have pictures from yesterday’s class, though. Sorry, Mom and Grandma! I WILL take more pictures tomorrow!
There’s a guy in our class who is a culinary genius. We were just supposed to make panna cotta, but he made a passion fruit panna cotta with a saffron sugared sauce (texture courtesy of agar). i am always in awe of his creations. He not only makes what we’re supposed to make, but he creates many extra sauces each class that are all different and fantastically creative.Half of the end of class line-up. I made the panna cotta, the arancini (I just executed the creative guy’s vision for the filling), the risotto, and I helped with the osso bucco.
Here is the line-up after last week’s horrible class. I made the eggplant rollatini and the pepper pasta. (I also learned how delicate basil is–my garnish wilted on contact with the hot plate…)
Abe is about to go to bed without me, so I have to be fast–it’s cooler out tonight, and I want to cuddle.
I took the girls to the playground and then to Lydia’s swim lesson this morning. Then Isabella babysat while I went to the temple. I have been dying to go to the temple, and even though Abe and I are planning to go this Saturday, I just couldn’t wait that long. I had a great experience, and I honestly think that going to the temple is the only thing that helped me keep my resolve to not yell today. When I got home, Lydia tried my patience to the point where I usually yell, but today I didn’t! I figured it was a temple blessing at work.
I made peanut noodles because they were a great catch-all for the fresh produce we got from Chelsea and Derek yesterday.
After dinner, I headed to church for a two hour meeting. I really like the women I work with, but it is SO hard for me to sit through a meeting and not get through the agenda in a time efficient way. Plus, I feel like whenever I do say something, it’s usually the wrong thing. Maybe this will all get better with time, but I came home two hours later discouraged and depleted.
Luckily, Abe had a wonderful Family Home Evening planned. The girls were so cute in their princess pajamas. They started FHE with a fashion show, and then Abe taught us a lesson about gratitude. We threw the beach ball to each other and said things we were grateful for. Lydia said she was grateful for her beautiful home, her family, her mama, daddy, and sister, the Fourth of July, and her cat. (Mary said she was grateful for whatever we told her to say.)
Yesterday was the absolute worst day at cooking school I have ever had. I got yelled at by a teammate, and the chef almost completely lost it at me multiple times. I came home feeling so sick and upset that Abe ended up giving me a blessing at 1:30 am, and then I only slept three hours after that. It was terrible. I would love to quit, but I know sticking with it will build character…so I’m gritting my teeth and going forward, even though this feels like a masochistic exercise.
But I feel better today. Honestly, I spent most of the morning imagining what I should have said to my teammate, and that actually helped me feel better and move on. I actually don’t hold anything against her, but it felt therapeutic to think out an appropriate verbal response to her random, loud verbal attack last night.
Also, I was grateful to be on the receiving end of both just and unjust yelling. It made me resolve with more determination than ever that I will not yell at my children. I sat Lydia down this morning and explained everything that happened last night and why I am sorry I have yelled at her in the past. I then told her I was going to try very, very hard not to yell ever again, but if I did slip, I instructed her to say, “Mommy, your yelling makes me feel sad and scared. Please stop.” I hope this plan works. After the pain of last night, I just can’t bear the thought of my children feeling that degraded and inhuman.
So today was a success! I was more patient than I have ever been in the history of my own parenting, and the kids, for the most part, responded with excellent behavior. I pray, pray, pray God helps me keep this resolve.
We woke up and played princess for forty-five minutes before breakfast. The girls were so excited about their Disney gifts from Tom and Suzanne!I played with my kids a TON today. I was trying to make up for every parental mistake I’ve ever made…this is “Row, Row Your Boat” in a laundry basket boat.
After taking the girls to the library and grocery store, we came home. I played play-doh with Lydia for half an hour. Ever since Abe’s FHE, she likes to play “Amalikiah and Moroni’s walls.” In her version, a snake kills Amalikiah–and then a frog kills a snake.
We also had some Primary teachers over for dinner. Actually, Abe used to home teach Lisa and Dustin, so he was extremely excited when he found out which teachers were coming.
Me, Mary, Cathy, and Lisa. I have resolved to photograph at least the people who come over to dinner, because when I review my past blogs quickly, it helps me get a better sense of each day’s events.
I am still loving the train, but it puts me on a very early schedule so I will be brief.
My day went super well today. It included a lot of productivity and a two and a half hour internal meeting followed by another hour long internal meeting. Yay meetings!
On my way home, Lily said something that made me feel really nostalgic. She was at school and she said she missed seeing me. I always used to meet her at school and pick up the kids on my way home from work. Now that we have babysitters and I take frontrunner, we no longer make the exchange. I miss it too. It was so nice to see her, even if just for five minutes. I realize I will literally go the whole day today without seeing her, sigh.
As far as Lily’s day today, this is what I have been able to piece together:
She thought Mary’s binky was missing, but found it just in the nick of time for her nap. She went to yoga while Isabella babysat. She spent some time working on things for her calling. She did all the usual, cooking, cleaning, feeding, and intervening when Lydia and Mary fight etc. Lily and I have both noticed a huge increase in Mary and Lydia’s engagement with each other. This goes for both positive and negative interaction. They are playing much more together and they really engage with each other. They also fight more and more intensely. Ahh, the life of siblings 🙂
After work I went to Costco with the girls to pick up a flank steak Lily requested. I bought it with a gift card that I redeemed from my Red Lion Hotel points. At Costco, I got a call from my dad who said that Suzanne had some gifts from Disney Land for the girls and he asked the best way for us to meet up. I said I would stop by and so I did.
Lydia got a sleeping beauty music box, which she loves and Mary got a book, a Sophia the first tambourine and a glow wand. They both also got boxes of disney cookies. I was so touched at how they thought specifically to bring things back to the girls. Thanks dad and Suzanne!
No 911 calls this morning, and it was a peaceful follow-up to yesterday’s stress. I still feel silly about being so quick to call 911, but I keep telling myself better safe than sorry.
Isabella came over and watched the girls while I worked out and then swam. When I came home, we went to the library for new books. The girls collected prizes for the summer reading program, and then we came home for naps and quiet time. Lydia actually napped today!
She woke up when Sophia, Max and Misty came over for a play date. Waking up from naps is a delicate process for Lydia…but having Sophia over to play with made her transition much easier. They love playing together, and I love talking to Misty, so a play date with Misty and her kids is just optimal for everyone.
After the play date, Mary wanted a turn in the dress.
Here’s how Lydia felt about that.
Mary decided the dress was too cumbersome. The two reconciled.
Mary calling Nana and Grandma on the phone.
After our play date, I scrambled to make dinner. Abe insisted on taking a picture.
It seems that ever since starting cooking school, I’ve been too busy to cook at home. Abe was wowed by a salad. I felt remorseful that expectations have sunk so low that a salad elicited such effusive praise. Well, compared to mac ‘n cheese or spaghetti with bottled sauce (the usual, it would seem), I guess this was a step up. Sigh.
Then I went to my Primary meeting. I was just starting to warm up to the calling–I loved the cub scout car wash, and I really enjoyed attending Primary on Sunday…but the meetings. I struggle. I hope/pray that with time I can learn to enjoy them more AND contribute more. Tonight I contributed nothing. At one point, I looked at the clock and let out an exasperated sigh without even realizing what I was doing, and afterward I was soooooooo embarrassed. Yikes!
I came home to discover Abe and the girls Skyping with my mom and getting ready for FHE.
Skyping with Nana.Lydia did a fashion show at the beginning of FHE. Mary is crying because she wants to participate. I forget why she couldn’t.Abe taught a lesson about Moroni building walls to protect his people.Lydia was riveted by the story of Amalikiah. She named her post-FHE popsicle “Amalikiah” and wanted us to tell her over and over again why Amalikiah was so mean.We can build our own strong walls with prayer, reading scriptures, and going to the temple. Here’s Abe teaching Mary about prayer.
And finally, some pictures Abe took while I was at my meeting:
At 5:54 am I awoke to the sound of the front door slamming. Abe leaves for work at 5:30 these days, and so I was terrified that someone was in the house. I crept to the stairs and heard light switches going on and off in the house. Convinced there was someone inside, I called 911.
Twenty minutes later, a team of six policemen swarmed the house, only to discover…nothing. I felt so dumb. But I honestly did hear the door slam, and I heard another door slam right before the police arrived. Since Abe and I are missing two full sets of keys, we had all the locks changed today just to be safe. Abe has promised to deadbolt the door behind him when he leaves for work.
To be honest, I still haven’t quite recovered from the adrenaline rush that accompanied lying in bed whispering on the phone with 911 for twenty minutes. It was terrible. I haven’t felt safe since. Also, I’m stressed out that I call 911 so much. This was my fourth call in two and a half years. If I operated 911, I would stop responding to my number’s calls. “Oh, it’s just the hystrionic lady in the Avenues who always thinks she’s under attack. Let’s respond to someone who actually NEEDS help…”
The only times I’ve forgotten the scare today were 1) visiting teaching Marilyn this morning and 2) having dinner with my mission friend, Jen! She’s from France, but her husband is American and they’ve been living in D.C. for the past five years. Jen was a director at Miriam’s kitchen during that time, and the experiences she shared uplifted us so much. We were so inspired by Jen and Chris’s passion for community and homeless-outreach.
Now that they’ve moved to Salt Lake, I’m looking forward to spending more time with Jen. She was also mission companions in Las Vegas with one of Abe’s high school friends, and so for our next get together we’re going to invite the Maudsleys over for dinner and let Katie and Jen reconnect. It’s been almost ten years since our missions!
Here’s a photo Abe took at the end of dinner. Chris was also taking pictures, and Jen and I are each looking at our hubby’s phone.
After church we laid low, although we did go outside for a bit to play in the srinklers.
Lydia running to pour the watering can on Abe and Mary.Lydia executes her plan.Picking tomatoes.Lying down for the “sleeping bunnies” song.The hopping part of the “sleeping bunnies” song.
This morning was pretty low-key: cleaning, reading, lounging, playing with kids, feeding kids, etc.
Isabella came over at 2 pm so I could go to yoga. By the time I came home, it was time to make dinner. I tried my new pressure cooker today and it worked! I read the manual yesterday and couldn’t find it today, so I kept hoping I wouldn’t accidentally blow the house up. When I turned the knob to “release pressure,” the sound was so startling that Mary screamed and we all ran out of the kitchen. That might take some getting used to.
Then we met up with our friends, the Skardas, and headed up to a campground in Big Cottonwood Canyon to make s’mores.
I literally ate so many that I still have a stomachache. Carrie had the great idea of sandwiching the marshmallows between chocolate coated cookies. It was delicious.
Once again, the girls were too tired for a proper bed routine. I will tell Lydia to brush her teeth for five straight minutes tomorrow morning…
Happy belated 4th! We were so exhausted by the time we got home that I am just now blogging.
In the morning while I was at yoga, Abe and the girls had a flag hunt. The girls would hide flags and then go find them, over and over again. In fact, that’s what the three of them are doing now as I type:
Hide and seek with the flags. The flags are hiding and everyone else is counting. Also, the girls are still wearing their 4th of July dresses today because they slept in them last night. We may or may not change them before tomorrow–if they wear these for three straight days, they could wake up on Sunday all dressed for church!The flag hunt yesterday morning.Abe fed them breakfast.Mary pretended to be on the phone a lot (I’m gathering, since Abe took a million photos of her in this pose).Abe got the trunk of the car open for the first time since May (it was stuck) and retrieved my anniversary present! We forgot to take a picture of me wearing it yesterday. I’ll wear it tomorrow and take a picture.
After I got home from yoga, I watched How to Train A Dragon with Lydia. Abe and I watched it Thursday night and loved it, and it was fun to watch with Lydia. Afterward, Abe gave me a massage and the girls helped. Mary loves to pound my back with her little fists. It’s really cute.
Then we went to the Darais picnic down in Provo. We picked up Balu on the way there.
On the way to Provo for the picnic.
At the Darais picnic, there was a lot of reposing going on.
There was also a fair amount of rolling down hills.
Lydia waiting to “catch” mary.After the hill-rolling, the girls sat like this for a while.
After the picnic, we headed to Sugar House Park for fireworks. We got a great view, and it was a beautiful night. By the time we got home, Lydia and I were asleep, but Mary was still as excited as could be. She was the first person to wake up this morning. I think yesterday was a happy day for her–and everyone!
Then I fed the girls a snack before leaving for school.
