Sunshine, a somber note, and some snores

Today I cleaned the house for two hours, and then practiced a little bit. Paige and her kids came over for a play date, during which the girls colored outside, we got attacked by ants (accidentally sat on an ant hill on the lawn), ate some food and chatted a lot. It was wonderful to be outside in the sunshine. My soul felt so nourished after that. Oh! And we practiced a musical number for church, since Paige plays the violin. We’re not going to perform until mid-summer, but practicing was fun.

Then the girls had a short nap/quiet time while I lay on my bed and finished The Triple Package. As much as I enjoyed the book (and I enjoyed it a lot), the best part of that was having my window open and feeling the spring breeze. Having an open window makes my heart go pitter-patter with delight, and right now the sounds outside my (still) open window are making me so happy.

A more somber part of our day was the viewing for Grandma Darais. We headed to Provo for the evening viewing. I did love all the pictures and momentos from her life everywhere. I thought a lot on the drive back about what makes a meaningful life. Grandma Darais couldn’t have lived a better life, but since I just read The Triple Package, I had to consider that her life was very different from the type described in my book. Obviously, there are many ways to be a successful person, and the authors themselves admit up front that they take a crass, materialistic approach to defining success. “Success” for them means wealth, prestige and power derived from hyperactive achievement-oriented types.

As I drove home, I thought about both my grandma and Abe’s grandma and then concluded that the best way to measure the difference you made in the world is to count how many people love and feel loved by you. I guess there’s not a real way to know how many people your life has changed, but what I’m trying to say is that I prefer a definition of success that takes into account things that are hard to count–like love, compassion, and forgiveness. I also think that creating a home where people love to be makes a big difference in the world. As people remember Grandma Darais, almost everyone mentions her home and how wonderful it felt to be there. I loved being there, and I only visited a couple times. But I visited my grandma’s home many, many times, and that probably made more of an impression on me than any other home I’ve ever visited. The orderliness, the food, and the peaceful flow of activities inspires me daily.

Anyway, Grandma, since Lydia has been dominating the phone conversations of late, just know I’m in the background sending you my love. I love you so much. And, of course, you too Mom! Lydia talked a lot about how much she misses you after she hung up today. You two are the very best. We love you.

Oh, here’s a picture I took of Mary. I was trying to keep her awake so she would sleep through my shopping trip in the afternoon. A Methodist church in Sandy was having a huge consignment sale, and I wanted both girls to sleep in their strollers while I shopped. No such luck. She didn’t even make it through her second lunch. I tried to get a video of her snoring, but I got distracted, so all I have is this:

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Mary gets to be an only child for an evening.

Mary’s old enough to go to nursery in church now! Theoretically, this means Abe and I could drop her off and focus on our meetings. However, Mary is very, very, very sad whenever we leave her in nursery by herself, so we’re taking turns staying in nursery with Mary. Last week I stayed, and this week Abe did. He took photos of her on his phone while he was watching her:

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While I never recall Lydia hitting any child other than Mary, Mary is different. She’s been hit and pushed and grabbed from all of her little life (thanks to Lydia), so she is a little more aggressive in nursery. When some other child took one of her toys today, she had no problem bonking him in the head several times. Lydia would have just run to me and cried. I guess they’re all different.

This evening Suzanne came over and took Lydia to the Miners’ party. We were feeling tired and under the weather, so Abe and I stayed home with Mary. She got more attention this evening than she ever has. In fact, she’s so excited about all the attention she got that she can’t currently get to sleep and is standing next to me watching me type. We have a ton of pictures of her from our evening together.

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IMG_7186 IMG_7195 IMG_7194 IMG_7193 IMG_7196 IMG_7197 IMG_7201And then Suzanne brought Lydia and two balloons home! The girls had fun with those.

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Playing chase
Playing chase

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This is what happened when we took Mary's balloon away before bed.
This is what happened when we took Mary’s balloon away before bed.
The sky was a beautiful color, and we tried to capture it through the girls' window.
The sky was a beautiful color, and we tried to capture it through the girls’ window.

Mary is really trying hard to climb into my lap and type, so I think I’ll sign off and pay attention to my baby.

Ambition morphs into a long, long nap

I had big plans when Saturday morning dawned: hiking Ensign Peak! Biking up the canyon!! Using our improved insurance to buy new glasses for Abe!!!

…And one three and a half hour nap later, we did none of that. Well, almost none. We tried to buy Abe new glasses, but insurance only covers $100, and glasses are more expensive than that. So we headed to the grocery store, bought groceries instead, and headed home to hibernate.

Afterward, I went to Women’s Conference. Our stake had a dinner first. I have a lot of social anxiety in big groups, so stuff like that is hard for me. But I powered through, even though I had to fight an active urge to get up and leave about every five minutes. As soon as the closing prayer ended, I grabbed my coat and practically ran to the car.

Abe just said, “Oh my heck.” For the record, he never used to say that, but working in Provo with a bunch of other LDS young dads has changed his linguistic patterns. I asked him to please revert back to his old verbal habits.

On the other hand, one of his coworkers told him that the work he was doing was “BA.” Abe was really confused and asked him if he was talking about “Bachelor of Arts,” and his coworker thought that was hilarious. Now whenever Abe does anything of note, his coworker tells him he’s “Bachelor of Arts.”

What a hodge podge post. Here are the pictures we took today:

Mary loves to dip food. Giving her bowls of sauce/syrup/peanut butter has bought me an extra ten minutes of peace during meals.
Mary loves to dip food. Giving her bowls of sauce/syrup/peanut butter has bought me an extra ten minutes of peace during meals.

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Gesturing for more because she's...not very verbal. But we understand her, so maybe she feels like she doesn't have to talk. I wish she would, though!!!
Gesturing for more because she’s…not very verbal. But we understand her, so maybe she feels like she doesn’t have to talk. I wish she would, though!!!

Lydia did a “trick” for me:

IMG_7177The girls got balloons at the store:

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While I was at Women’s Conference, Abe took the girls to the park:

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Lydia looked at the bars and said, "I know I can do this!" That's probably because of our coaching session at the park two days ago. Alas, these bars surpassed her current abilities.
Lydia looked at the bars and said, “I know I can do this!” That’s probably because of our coaching session at the park two days ago. Alas, these bars surpassed her current abilities.

And during the girls’ last snack of the day, Lydia lost focus and started making funny faces:

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Lots of eating [out]

We had so much fun with David, Karin and Jay at dinner that we accidentally stayed until 11 pm. We were the last ones at the restaurant, and now it’s almost midnight. In light of our desperate need to go to bed, I really just want to throw up pictures with captions and then go to bed.

Except! Except that I forgot to take pictures of my lunch with Misty, and that was a huge highlight of the day. Abe took a long lunch from work and took the girls to nearby IKEA for free food (kids eat free on Tuesdays) while Misty and I had our lunch date.

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Misty and I went to my school’s restaurant, and the theme today was “Spring.” I forgot to take pictures of the food or the menu, but it was all very yummy. The starter was ahi tuna with rhubarb salsa…except that we couldn’t discern where the rhubarb was, even though we searched, searched, and searched some more. The second dish was a salad with bagna cauda (again, couldn’t quite figure out where that was) with a salad and bread stick. It looked pretty fancy. We ordered different entrees, and then had molten chocolate cakes with white mocha ice cream for dessert. The menu was set, and I am now really looking forward to my restaurant class where we get to put together these menus, plate them, and serve them to actual people. In my present class, we throw out most of the food we make because there’s never enough time to wrap it up to take home.

Strangely, the rest of the day felt fun and productive too, although I’m not sure how that happened because I’m still sick, queasy, and easily tired. I think the girls were just more self-sufficient than usual, so I got to get more done with less effort. Plus, Mary napped from 2 pm until 6 pm, and Lydia napped from 2 pm until almost 4 pm. That probably helped.

Then Abe came home and I frantically folded laundry until the last minute, when we picked up David and headed up Mill Creek Canyon to meet Karin and Jay at Log Haven. There’s a gorgeous waterfall right across from the restaurant, and the ambiance of the restaurant felt really…nice. The best part was just the conversation, but the food was amazing too. I should have taken a picture of my entree, but alas, I started eating before that could happen. We did, however, take a shot of Abe’s beet soup starter.

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mar18pic6Happy (belated) birthday, David!

A better day

I neglected to take any pictures today, but basically we stayed home all day and recovered from life. I cleaned some stuff, gave Lydia a piano lesson, cooked with Lydia, spent a ton of time just playing with the girls and read another ton of books to them. We had FHE on the priesthood and talked about priesthood blessings (since we have all been so sick), and we ended by watching songs from Mary Poppins on Youtube.

In some ways, it was a delightful day because I got to spend so much time with the girls. On the other hand, I had the hardest time controlling my temper at Lydia, which makes me so, so sad. I hope she doesn’t grow up confused; one minute I will be hyperventilating trying not to yell (or I’ll just go ahead and yell) and the next I’ll be cuddling her, saying sorry, and asking her if she knows how much I love her. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just crazy or if parenting toddlers always feels this schizophrenic. I’m leaning toward the former, although I really don’t recall experiencing such fast and dramatic emotional swings before parenting. Maybe it was all suppressed before.

She did say some really cute things today which I can’t remember now. Yesterday when Abe came home he ran up the stairs and asked if all of his princesses were there. Lydia responded: “Yes, Daddy, you have lots of princesses here! There’s Mary, Mama, me, Puss and Tabitha (her two cats). We’re all your princesses.”

Mary said “bear” today after she brought me a teddy bear and we played “going on a bear hunt” for the next twenty minutes. Maybe we just need to make games out of everything to get her to talk. She was also in one of her “don’t put me down or pay attention to anything but me” modes for quite a bit of the day. Oh! And she slept in until 11 am this morning!!! I couldn’t believe it. I had to check a couple times to make sure she was alive, as that had never happened before. Usually the girls are up between 7 and 8. Between her cut lip, pink-eyed eyes, and out-of-the-blue-nighttime-wake, she must have been exhausted.

Anyway, I also started The Return of the King today, so I’m going to stop blogging now and go read that.

dinner party and pics of Suzuki at work

I spent all morning cleaning, although my house is in shambles right now and there’s no way anyone could ever tell that. I am also exhausted because we just got back from a dinner party in Park City that was so fun we lost track of time and arrived home after 10 pm. Good thing we didn’t have to bathe the girls tonight!

Here are some pictures from the day:

Our friends from Chicago invited us over for the most delicious jambalaya dinner--and there were cupcakes afterward! We met a couple at Kristin and Adam's November sealing that we loved, and so they came too. We loved visiting with all of them, and the girls loved running around the humongous house Kristin and Adam are house-sitting.
Our friends from Chicago invited us over for the most delicious jambalaya dinner–and there were cupcakes afterward! We met a couple at Kristin and Adam’s November sealing that we loved, and so they came too. We loved visiting with all of them, and the girls loved running around the humongous house Kristin and Adam are house-sitting.
While I was cleaning, I stepped out of the bathroom for a minute and returned to find Mary thus perched. The fact that I took a picture of her probably detracted immensely from my post-picture scolding.
While I was cleaning, I stepped out of the bathroom for a minute and returned to find Mary thus perched. The fact that I took a picture of her probably detracted immensely from my post-picture scolding.
A happy moment from our piano lesson.
A happy moment from our piano lesson.
Lydia's hand.
Lydia’s hand.
Look at that technique. She actually found it very difficult to play the first two notes of "Twinkle," and for the last ten minutes of the lesson my heart broke for her because she had tears in  her eyes--but didn't complain or fuss or even cry at all. She just felt bad that she couldn't play it correctly, and I felt bad that she felt bad. This is such a tricky, complicated time for us. On the one hand, our relationship has really deepened with these piano lessons and one-on-one time, and on the other, I am terrified I am being too hard on Lydia.
Look at that technique. She actually found it very difficult to play the first two notes of “Twinkle,” and for the last ten minutes of the lesson my heart broke for her because she had tears in her eyes–but didn’t complain or fuss or even cry at all. She just felt bad that she couldn’t play it correctly, and I felt bad that she felt bad. This is such a tricky, complicated time for us. On the one hand, our relationship has really deepened with these piano lessons and one-on-one time, and on the other, I am terrified I am being too hard on Lydia. I wish I always knew the best way to give my daughter the best of everything.

Another preschool tour–and the sun!

Yay for the sun! It’s back, it’s beautiful, and it felt gooooood today. After touring another preschool this morning, we went to play group at a nearby park.

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Lydia kept claiming she couldn't climb up this hill and would fall down every two steps. Mary kindly went down to help her up.
Lydia kept claiming she couldn’t climb up this hill and would fall down every two steps. Mary kindly went down to help her up (my interpretation. Lydia said Mary came over to hit her…).

Then we came home and I fed the girls lunch. Then I cooked, cleaned and gave Lydia a piano lesson.

Then Lydia took a nap. When she wakes up from naps at home, she usually is a little…touchy. So I baked chocolate chip cookies while she was asleep, and as soon as she started to wail, I told her there were cookies downstairs for her.

She's had a "winky" eye since she was born. That means, when she takes a big bite of something, her right eye flies wide open. It's pretty cute.
She’s had a “winky” eye (at least, that’s what I call it) since she was born. That means when she takes a big bite of something, her right eye flies wide open. It’s pretty cute.

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After Abe came home, we had dinner and FHE. I mainly sat on the couch in a tired stupor, but Abe taught the girls about Moses, and they drew pictures of Moses parting the Red Sea.

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