temple and tricky water

Abe and I finally made it to the temple tonight! Hooray! We really needed it. I couldn’t sleep last night because I was so worried about losing my temper at Lydia, and I tried sooooo hard to be better today. I still got mad, but I think I did slightly better than yesterday.

One thing that’s problematic is Lydia’s piano lesson. It always, always ends in tears. I sit down determined to have a happy, relaxed session with Lydia, and then my resolve dissolves as she refuses to even try to play Twinkle. I’m not even asking her to play the whole piece; just the first two notes would make me happy!! I demonstrate over and over and over how to play,  and then I position her fingers and even push them down for her so she can feel the motion. We clap the rhythm and I let her put her hands on my hands so she can feel me play. After all that, she still cries whenever I start to ask her to do it by herself, and then she tells me it’s too hard.

I tell myself that she’s just barely three and it’s okay, but then I get upset because I KNOW she can play it if she would just. try. (For example, I took a picture last week of her pushing down a note. That’s almost the only time she’s ever done that independently, but it showed me she could do it.)

On the other hand, we actually have a good time when I’m not seeing red. Lydia never protests when I tell her it’s time for piano. That makes me think that she enjoys the time–up until we commence our “Try, Lydia, TRY!!!” battle.

On the Mary front, I officially can not administer those eye drops by myself. Good thing the medicine we squeeze in when Abe’s home must be working because, I’ll tell you what, she’s one determined little girl. Also, she’s dramatic whenever she sees her babysitter. She takes one look at Aylah and screams. Last time she dropped back in a chair and screamed until we popped in a pacifier. After that, she stared listlessly at the ceiling in the same position for the next twenty minutes (so Aylah told us) and refused to be roused. Tonight she wasn’t quite that bad, but the initial fury was still there.

Lydia, on the other hand, behaves so much better for other people than for me. I’m actually glad for that, but sometimes I wish she’d behave that way for me! At any rate, she spent the evening talking Aylah’s ear off about her cat.

I DID take pictures today, but they aren’t sending. I took pictures of the girls covered in beets (I made borscht today), and for some reason there’s a disconnect between my iPad and my inbox. Sorry, Grandma and Mom! I’ll try to take some with my actual camera tomorrow.

A better day

I neglected to take any pictures today, but basically we stayed home all day and recovered from life. I cleaned some stuff, gave Lydia a piano lesson, cooked with Lydia, spent a ton of time just playing with the girls and read another ton of books to them. We had FHE on the priesthood and talked about priesthood blessings (since we have all been so sick), and we ended by watching songs from Mary Poppins on Youtube.

In some ways, it was a delightful day because I got to spend so much time with the girls. On the other hand, I had the hardest time controlling my temper at Lydia, which makes me so, so sad. I hope she doesn’t grow up confused; one minute I will be hyperventilating trying not to yell (or I’ll just go ahead and yell) and the next I’ll be cuddling her, saying sorry, and asking her if she knows how much I love her. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just crazy or if parenting toddlers always feels this schizophrenic. I’m leaning toward the former, although I really don’t recall experiencing such fast and dramatic emotional swings before parenting. Maybe it was all suppressed before.

She did say some really cute things today which I can’t remember now. Yesterday when Abe came home he ran up the stairs and asked if all of his princesses were there. Lydia responded: “Yes, Daddy, you have lots of princesses here! There’s Mary, Mama, me, Puss and Tabitha (her two cats). We’re all your princesses.”

Mary said “bear” today after she brought me a teddy bear and we played “going on a bear hunt” for the next twenty minutes. Maybe we just need to make games out of everything to get her to talk. She was also in one of her “don’t put me down or pay attention to anything but me” modes for quite a bit of the day. Oh! And she slept in until 11 am this morning!!! I couldn’t believe it. I had to check a couple times to make sure she was alive, as that had never happened before. Usually the girls are up between 7 and 8. Between her cut lip, pink-eyed eyes, and out-of-the-blue-nighttime-wake, she must have been exhausted.

Anyway, I also started The Return of the King today, so I’m going to stop blogging now and go read that.

Warning: Lots of complaining below

Today was a bad day. Well, Abe had a good day–his promotion interviews went well, and he came back very happy and energetic. I immediately turned over the girls and went to bed.

Mary woke up with pinkeye this morning, which was sad. Taking my mom to the airport was sad. Going to the doctor’s office for Mary’s pinkeye was sad, as was dragging my sobbing toddler across the parking lot (she’s scared of our super-sweet doctor). Grocery shopping with two children was…actually, not that sad. They were great at the store.

Coming home was sad because we spent the rest of the day eating on and off and cleaning my kitchen. I HATE meal time. And the whole day felt like one big meal. Then Mary developed pinkeye in her other eye, which means for the next week I will be administering eye drops to both children’s eyes four times a day. They kick and scream and swat away the eye drops, and the whole process stinks.

Also, my house is a mess:

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Okay, okay, Abe cleaned up those messes, but there are plenty more around the house.

To top it off, while I was kneeling by the bed helping Lydia find Frozen  on the iPad this evening (Abe didn’t make it home until 8pm), Mary tripped over my feet and her teeth ripped a whole in her chin. An inch below her lip is a big, tooth-shaped tear, and the poor thing was soooooo sad. I felt so bad for my poor baby with her ouchy eyes and ripped-up chin.

Boo. Bye-bye, bad day.

What will be will be

This morning was beautiful outside, so I packed breakfast snacks and let the girls eat in the jogger while I took a two hour walk. We walked up to the part of City Creek Canyon where bright green clovers grow in the creek; ever since we’ve moved here, that’s what I look for every year to tell me it’s Spring. And wow, is it Spring! The clovers were lush, bright green, and much more abundant than I’ve ever seen them. Too bad I didn’t take my phone–I wish I could have taken a picture. The birds were chirping, the creek was gurgling, and that bright green clover made me really happy.

The sad part is that I have had shin splints for over a week, and the two hour walk (with a couple short jogs in the middle) exacerbated them to the point where I spent the rest of the day in a mild state of pain. Happily, on my walk home, I ran into Aria and Anique, both avid runners with lots of shin splint experience, and they gave me some tips. There’s hope!

Then I came home, cleaned the house, fed the girls, and gave Lydia a piano lesson. We make such little progress in these lessons that sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it. But then I always conclude that it is worth it, just because Lydia and I get so much one-on-one time, and, if nothing else, Lydia is learning to sit and focus at the piano. At first I’d give her a treat when the lesson was done, but then I started to worry she’d confuse sugar with happiness, so now at the end of our lesson we take water breaks and read together. It’s my favorite part.

Then I finished my book, fed the girls, practiced the piano, and cleaned the house. Abe and I had planned on going to the temple tonight, but as soon as Abe brought the baby-sitter over, he checked his wallet and could not find his recommend. He searched for fifteen minutes and finally gave up. Truthfully, I was so disappointed. I had been looking forward to going to the temple all day, and I almost suggested that I go by myself–but then I didn’t know what we’d say to the babysitter, who was already at our house. We ended up going to the Cheesecake Factory, since Abe’s mom gave him a gift card there a while back. When it came time to pay, Abe found his recommend behind his credit card. I guess it wasn’t meant to be a temple night, and even though I was initially disappointed, I always love talking to my husband, so it turned out okay.

The flash on the camera phone is BLINDING. Abe took a picture of me, but my lopsided squint in the face of the flash made me look inebriated, which I was not.
The flash on the camera phone is blinding. This is Abe enduring it. Abe took a picture of me, but my lopsided squint in the face of the flash made me look inebriated, which I was NOT.

dinner party and pics of Suzuki at work

I spent all morning cleaning, although my house is in shambles right now and there’s no way anyone could ever tell that. I am also exhausted because we just got back from a dinner party in Park City that was so fun we lost track of time and arrived home after 10 pm. Good thing we didn’t have to bathe the girls tonight!

Here are some pictures from the day:

Our friends from Chicago invited us over for the most delicious jambalaya dinner--and there were cupcakes afterward! We met a couple at Kristin and Adam's November sealing that we loved, and so they came too. We loved visiting with all of them, and the girls loved running around the humongous house Kristin and Adam are house-sitting.
Our friends from Chicago invited us over for the most delicious jambalaya dinner–and there were cupcakes afterward! We met a couple at Kristin and Adam’s November sealing that we loved, and so they came too. We loved visiting with all of them, and the girls loved running around the humongous house Kristin and Adam are house-sitting.
While I was cleaning, I stepped out of the bathroom for a minute and returned to find Mary thus perched. The fact that I took a picture of her probably detracted immensely from my post-picture scolding.
While I was cleaning, I stepped out of the bathroom for a minute and returned to find Mary thus perched. The fact that I took a picture of her probably detracted immensely from my post-picture scolding.
A happy moment from our piano lesson.
A happy moment from our piano lesson.
Lydia's hand.
Lydia’s hand.
Look at that technique. She actually found it very difficult to play the first two notes of "Twinkle," and for the last ten minutes of the lesson my heart broke for her because she had tears in  her eyes--but didn't complain or fuss or even cry at all. She just felt bad that she couldn't play it correctly, and I felt bad that she felt bad. This is such a tricky, complicated time for us. On the one hand, our relationship has really deepened with these piano lessons and one-on-one time, and on the other, I am terrified I am being too hard on Lydia.
Look at that technique. She actually found it very difficult to play the first two notes of “Twinkle,” and for the last ten minutes of the lesson my heart broke for her because she had tears in her eyes–but didn’t complain or fuss or even cry at all. She just felt bad that she couldn’t play it correctly, and I felt bad that she felt bad. This is such a tricky, complicated time for us. On the one hand, our relationship has really deepened with these piano lessons and one-on-one time, and on the other, I am terrified I am being too hard on Lydia. I wish I always knew the best way to give my daughter the best of everything.

Mopey Monday

I stayed at preschool this morning. Misty had the kids make “giraffe skin” out of yellow paper, cut sponges and brown paint. Afterward, we took the kids out to the back yard to play.

preschool 3 preschool 1Then we came home and I gave Lydia another piano lesson before lunch. Her technique is really coming along, although I was a little impatient today and our lesson ended in tears and hugs. I had a little bit of an emotionally down day today, and I felt so bad for taking it out on Lydia.

Abe wanted to take me out to Smashburger to celebrate my cooking competition on Saturday, so we met him there before school.

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While I was at school, Abe was home with two very melodramatic girls.

This was after Mary got put in her crib for not behaving, and Lydia was denied a princess puppet show because she refused to clean up. Misery loves company.
This was after Mary got put in her crib for not behaving, and Lydia was denied a princess puppet show because she refused to clean up. Misery loves company.
But they did have a princess hair night again.
But they did have a princess hair night again.

Then Lydia attempted to knock Mary in the head with the iPad. Thankfully she missed. While she was being disciplined, Mary ran around the house naked. When Abe found her, this is what he saw:

She was typing code into his laptop.
She was typing code into his laptop.
Lydia perked up and joined her.
Lydia perked up and joined her.

Guess my night learning about different dry heat/wet heat methods to cook food was pretty tame in comparison. Abe’s downstairs running off the evening’s stresses on the treadmill, and I am just about to try to forget mine by picking up my book.

Oh! Mom and Grandma, I am about to post some pictures from yesterday onto yesterday’s blog. Abe forgot to email me some cute pictures he took from his phone. I’ll just tack them onto the end of yesterday’s blog.

 

competition win and the atom bomb

I won my cooking competition this morning!!! Well, okay, okay. They announced it was a tie, but when I got home and looked at the scores, I realized that the judges forgot to circle/add up one of my scores, so I technically won by one itsy bitsy little point. But still! I got a ticket for two to our school restaurant and a Ninja chopping machine. Abe and the girls came and cheered me on, and it was so fun to see their smiling faces through the glass.

The surprise ingredients weren’t that hard, really. They told us to use orange roughy and apples on our plate, which had to contain a starch, vegetable, sauce and garnish. Here’s what I did:

I made a blue cheese polenta cake, beet/carrot/apple/poppy seed slaw with raspberry vinegar, baked orange roughy and a candied lemon garnish. The blue cheese was rancid; I thought it was tangy, but I didn't realize it was rancid until the judges absolutely tore me apart for it.
I made a blue cheese polenta cake, beet/carrot/apple/poppy seed slaw with raspberry vinegar, baked orange roughy and a candied lemon garnish. The blue cheese was rancid; I thought it was tangy, but I didn’t realize it was rancid until the judges absolutely tore me apart for it. Also, I plated my fish upside down. Oops! Thankfully, the other two competitors in my division made the same mistake. We’re all learning.

Then we came home and ate lunch. Ironically, I had to throw out my food before eating it all because we were in such a rush to clean the kitchen. Also, Abe had to leave early because he forgot to put a diaper on Mary this morning, and there weren’t any in the car. Oops! Mornings are hard for him.

I spent the girls’ hours of quiet time finishing my most recent book, Bomb: The Race to Build–and Steal–the World’s Most Dangerous Weapon, today. It was a total page turner, and now I am scared that we’re all going to get blown up by the crazy people in power around the world. I sneaked to the library just before they close to get some more books to help calm me down. 

My relationship with Mary deteriorates by Saturday afternoon because I’m gone all evening Friday and all morning Saturday. She gets so mad at me that when I finally get back, she screams if I touch her and clings to Abe for dear life. The only way we get back on friendly terms is if I play peek-a-boo with her feet and let her step on my face. I’m not kidding:

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Also, Lydia found grown-up socks today and wore them the rest of the evening.
Also, Lydia found grown-up socks today and wore them the rest of the evening.
She also made Abe wear her headband.
She also made Abe wear her headband.

Lydia and I had another piano lesson today. I remember how hard it was to sit still when I was little, and I’m so proud of her for enduring. We made it to thirty minutes today. When I told Abe I want to try for an hour on Monday, he asked me to keep it to thirty minutes because he’s a more fun, compassionate parent than I am. Maybe we’ll compromise at forty-five. Our poetry session was truncated by my need for a nap, but we did read “Tiger, tiger, burning bright” and “The Lamb” by William Blake.

Another preschool tour–and the sun!

Yay for the sun! It’s back, it’s beautiful, and it felt gooooood today. After touring another preschool this morning, we went to play group at a nearby park.

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Lydia kept claiming she couldn't climb up this hill and would fall down every two steps. Mary kindly went down to help her up.
Lydia kept claiming she couldn’t climb up this hill and would fall down every two steps. Mary kindly went down to help her up (my interpretation. Lydia said Mary came over to hit her…).

Then we came home and I fed the girls lunch. Then I cooked, cleaned and gave Lydia a piano lesson.

Then Lydia took a nap. When she wakes up from naps at home, she usually is a little…touchy. So I baked chocolate chip cookies while she was asleep, and as soon as she started to wail, I told her there were cookies downstairs for her.

She's had a "winky" eye since she was born. That means, when she takes a big bite of something, her right eye flies wide open. It's pretty cute.
She’s had a “winky” eye (at least, that’s what I call it) since she was born. That means when she takes a big bite of something, her right eye flies wide open. It’s pretty cute.

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After Abe came home, we had dinner and FHE. I mainly sat on the couch in a tired stupor, but Abe taught the girls about Moses, and they drew pictures of Moses parting the Red Sea.

fhe feb 2 fhe feb

 

reunion and lots of soup

Today started off with a wonderful reunion with some old friends, Jan, Chelsea, and Chelsea’s kids: Olivia (3), Carter (1) and Camden (1). Her boys are fraternal twins, and I think this is the first time I’ve met them in person. It was so fun to see them again, and I started to wonder again why we aren’t moving to Provo (Chelsea lives in Orem–right next door to Provo).

After meeting up at the Discovery Gateway Children’s Museum, we headed home for lunch. Olivia was a doll and listened to Lydia blab on and on about her cat while they pretended to have tea. The twins were so cute and need to be in the same room to sleep. We stuck them in Mary’s closet together and they slept beautifully. It was fun to see their different personalities, too!

I just love Jan and Chelsea, and it honestly felt like a family reunion of sorts. Here are some pictures that Jan took:

discovery play discovery 1 discovery play1 discovery3 discovery2 discovery play3And from lunch:

jan and chelsea

 

Today was also sort of a soup heavy day. I made chili for lunch, and then I remembered I signed up to bring dinner to a woman in our ward, so I made lentil soup after that. During class tonight we made split pea soup and chicken waterzooi. To be perfectly frank, I am less than enthusiastic my other group member tonight, but I got to exercise…patience. I was sorely, sorely tempted to be less than kind (am giving into temptation now by writing about it on the blog), but I just kept thinking: appearance vs. reality, appearance vs. reality. Who knows what kind of hardships this person has endured? My experience of her is so minute compared to the scope of her life and intentions. That said, I am dreading next week because we have to work together for one more week. I just hope some other group members show up so the experience will be somewhat diluted.

So it was a kind of social high/low day. I loved my reunion with Jan, Chelsea, and the kids, and I kind of hated my life a little bit during class. And I just saw some big fireworks from the window as I typed. I have no idea what they were for, but I guess I’ll take that as a sign to sign off.

Oh, and here's a photo from two days ago that was on my iPad and I never posted. Lydia pre-quiet time.
Oh, and here’s a photo from two days ago that was on my iPad and I never posted. Lydia pre-quiet time.

Late nights and early mornings

It’s me, Abe, again!  Lily doesn’t know it yet, but I’m blogging for her so when she gets home at 11:30 from cooking school, she can go straight to bed.  She also doesn’t know it yet, but I’m staying up for her tonight because we haven’t seen much of each other lately and I miss her.  I do wake up at 5:45, but I’m sure somehow that will sort itself out.

Work is going extremely well, thanks to lots training and divine intervention. I ended last week feeling bad at my job, and this week I had a training that gave me knowledge on how to progress.  I’ve prayed a lot for help and I’ve worked at applying the training I’ve received and so far I am on pace with my goal of setting one meeting per day for a sales representative.  Today ended on a positive and dramatic note when after a whole day of not setting a single meeting, my last phone call of the day turned into a meeting set.  Yay!

Lily literally  recapped her day for me in two and a half minutes as we met and did the car swap in front of her school.  I’ll probably butcher this, but here is what I remember:

She visited Marilyn Brinton, with her new visiting teaching companion, Jen.  Lily completely adores both Marilyn and Jen and loved spending time with them.  Then, Lily fed the kids and cleaned, went to the Library, fed the kids and cleaned, practiced some piano, fed the kids and cleaned, did some homework, fed the ….you get the idea.   Our children eat a lot and I marvel at Lily’s ability to keep the kitchen clean.

After briefly meeting up with Lily I took the kids home and fed them (I cleaned after they went to bed!).  After dinner, Clark and Swathi faced timed us which was super fun!  No one got a word in except for Lydia who dominated the entire conversation either talking about her cat or talking directly to her cat and expecting us to watch the interaction with rapt attention.  Swathi, Clark and I all made solid efforts to exchange complete sentences, but alas we could not compete with dear Lydia’s passion for her cat combined with her love for attention.  I think the reality is that we were all quite entertained.

I’m going to crawl into bed and buy a white elephant Christmas gift for one of my friends.  We postponed our exchange to February 1, and somehow that still did not give me enough time to be on top of things.

If Lily has the energy, she may add to my post when she gets home.

It appears we didn’t take any pictures with our camera tonight.  Ciao!