short post

As usual, we are racing to get to bed because of Abe’s early bed time. I just want to record Lydia’s conversation with Mary after we put them to bed. Mary was crying, and Lydia said, “Mary, don’t worry. Heavenly Father and Jesus and the Holy Ghost are protecting you. Jesus will come down from the sky into your crib, and then he’ll go back up into the sky. You can bless God and get protected.” She babbled a lot more stuff like that, but I don’t have time to remember specifics.

Tom came over for dinner, and afterward we Skyped with Clark and Swathi. Abe took these pictures while we Skyped:

IMG_7275One more thing, mainly for myself so I can remember in case Abe doesn’t get me this cookbook for Mother’s Day or my birthday. I made a soup that I don’t want to forget from Anna Thomas’ book, Love Soup. It’s a red lentil soup with squash, yams, and loads of ginger. I made the root veggie broth for a base, and it was just fantastic. The link shows the soup pureed, but I didn’t do that. Hey, I am paying a lot of money for knife skills, and I wanted to see my little cubes (okay, okay… most of them were more like rectangles) of yam.

Also, another reason this post is rushed is that I’ve been rereading the notes I have from my interviews with Grandma Darais. Every sentence feels like a treasure, and I am so grateful I have this information. I would have liked more, though. Lesson learned. My mom is covering it on the interview Grandma front, but I want my own interviews. Grandma, when I come out, can we do an interview, please? I love you so much!!!

General Conference time again

Today Mary woke up at 5:19 am because she is teething (finally!!!). Since I was already up, I went to 6 am Bikram and then came home and practiced before General Conference started.

We’ve had Grandma Darais on our minds all day. Abe said he doesn’t feel ready for his grandma to die, and he wishes he had spent more time with her while she was alive. He’s going to write his thoughts tomorrow.

I started practicing Claire de Lune tonight in preparation for the funeral or family reception. I don’t know if or when I’m supposed to play it, but apparently I’m going to be asked to play it at some point, and since I’ve never played it before, 10 pm tonight found me picking my way through it. Our neighbors had a late night poker party going on, so they were indulgent and let me practice above them. We looooooooove them. Anyway, this was Grandma Darais’ favorite piece–and I seem to recall my grandma loves it too. Grandma, I thought I could kill two birds with one stone: I’ll prepare this piece for Grandma Darais’ events, and then when we come to visit in May, I’ll play it for you if we can find a piano.

Also, Mary said her name today! It was so cute. I was bathing her and Mary’s toy turtle with little plastic man (Grandma, these are your old bath toys! Remember them?) floated away. She got quite concerned and pointed to her out-of-reach toy and blurted out, “Mareee!” She wanted me to give the toys back to “Mareee.” I tried to have her say her name again, but so far she’s best at saying words when she’s in a desperate situation. When she tries to think about it, the process seems a lot harder.

Here are today’s pictures:

Abe and the girls had a dance party while I practiced. Lydia made sure everyone had a picture she'd colored taped to their tummies...and, of course, the girls had their balloons.
Abe and the girls had a dance party while I practiced. Lydia made sure everyone had a picture she’d colored taped to their tummies…and, of course, the girls had their balloons.
Preparing to watch Conference.
Preparing to watch Conference.
...Or maybe she was just preparing to play in the chair.
…Or maybe she was just preparing to play in the chair.

Another preschool tour–and the sun!

Yay for the sun! It’s back, it’s beautiful, and it felt gooooood today. After touring another preschool this morning, we went to play group at a nearby park.

IMG_6788 IMG_6789 IMG_6786 IMG_6787

Lydia kept claiming she couldn't climb up this hill and would fall down every two steps. Mary kindly went down to help her up.
Lydia kept claiming she couldn’t climb up this hill and would fall down every two steps. Mary kindly went down to help her up (my interpretation. Lydia said Mary came over to hit her…).

Then we came home and I fed the girls lunch. Then I cooked, cleaned and gave Lydia a piano lesson.

Then Lydia took a nap. When she wakes up from naps at home, she usually is a little…touchy. So I baked chocolate chip cookies while she was asleep, and as soon as she started to wail, I told her there were cookies downstairs for her.

She's had a "winky" eye since she was born. That means, when she takes a big bite of something, her right eye flies wide open. It's pretty cute.
She’s had a “winky” eye (at least, that’s what I call it) since she was born. That means when she takes a big bite of something, her right eye flies wide open. It’s pretty cute.

IMG_6800

 

After Abe came home, we had dinner and FHE. I mainly sat on the couch in a tired stupor, but Abe taught the girls about Moses, and they drew pictures of Moses parting the Red Sea.

fhe feb 2 fhe feb

 

Ode to Beethoven

We’re all still sick, so Lydia spent most of the day on the iPad. When Mary is sick, she does not tolerate being ignored, so I spent all of my time playing with Mary (while she was awake). When she napped, I should have switched gears and played with Lydia, but instead I practiced, did homework, and finished Beethoven’s biography.

There are so many scenes from that book I hope I never forget. Obviously, the premier of the ninth symphony is practically common knowledge, but still, reading about how Beethoven stood there furiously conducting the music in his head even after the music had finished made me choke up. Also, did you know that the Kreutzer sonata was originally dedicated to a violinist named George Bridgetower? He was a British violinist with an African father and British mother, and he was such a virtuoso on the violin that Beethoven interrupted a public performance to embrace and congratulate him. He promised the dedication of this sonata to Bridgetower, but in an after-concert celebration, Bridgetower made a crude joke about a woman, and Beethoven withdrew the dedication on the spot. Instead, he dedicated it to a violinist (last name Kreutzer), who claimed the piece was unplayable and never played it. Bridgetower regretted losing that dedication to his dying day.

Another favorite anecdote from the book comes from Beethoven’s meeting with Goethe. Beethoven had long admired Goethe, but was disgusted when Goethe made a show of bowing to royalty on one of their joint walks. Goethe was horrified at Beethoven’s lack of propriety (Beethoven angrily jammed down his hat and stormed off) and in a later letter lamented Beethoven’s poor etiquette. The incident positively warmed my heartstrings toward Beethoven and made me dislike Goethe (with whose works I am not familiar at all, anyway). In Beethoven’s words, Goethe was too moved by “things that glitter.”

Also, when Beethoven was at one of his patron’s estates, some occupying French soldiers came to dinner. Beethoven’s patron and the soldiers implored Beethoven to play for them, but Beethoven, who hated to play on demand anyway and who detested French soldiers, ended up storming out of the house, the manuscript for The Appassionata in hand, and caught a coach back to Vienna in the pouring rain. The original score has clear water stains from the trip. He told his prince patron, “There will always be plenty of princes in the world, but there is only one Beethoven.”

Anyway–wrong venue! I should be writing in Goodreads, but I am cheating because I need to get to bed and I didn’t do much else today.

I did go to class again tonight and worked again on knife skills and stock. I am going to need to practice a lot if I ever hope to be competent with a knife.

Here are some pictures I took during a rare moment this morning when Lydia was not on the iPad.

IMG_6299 IMG_6297 IMG_6300

Food and family

This morning we had a relief society lesson on the nature of God. Our teacher referenced The God Who Weeps in class, a book I started but didn’t finish last year. It was a wonderful, beautiful book, and maybe I’ll get around to finishing it this year! I, um, hope.

In Sunday School, we talked about our premortal existence. Somehow, the lesson got translated into this: Life is painful, but hang on and have faith! …A far cry from the outline in the manual, I’m sure. Also, lessons where the teacher and class sink into how hard life is always make me feel slightly uncomfortable. I mean, I know I complain a lot, but at no point in time am I so deluded by self pity that I actually think my life is hard hard. Sometimes I wish it were harder so I could exercise more faith and endure, but seeing as it’s not, I am most interested in keeping the flames of faith burning and keeping apathy at bay. Lessons where members of my beloved little class all seem to agree that life is about Endurance make me feel like I should suffer more.

Then I came home, ate, napped, and cooked dinner. Tom and Suzanne came over tonight, and that was so fun. I made the usual: stuffed squash rings, steamed broccoli, cheese souffle, rolls, and baked pears. It all got eaten before we could take a picture.

But here are the pictures we did take!

IMG_6264 IMG_6270 IMG_6273 IMG_6276 IMG_6277

When she’s not picking her nose, Lydia is picking her lip. Sigh.

Abe got a blessing from his dad today for his new job, and I got a blessing for the new semester. I feel really good and peaceful right now, and I guess at the end of the day, I’m really glad there’s a void of serious suffering in my life (at least right now).

competition upload complete!

Thanks to the combined baby-sitting efforts of Tom, Suzanne, and my mom, Abe and I were able to sneak off to the temple this morning. Some of the women who worked in initiatories radiated so much light and intelligence that they reminded me of my mom, and then I got to thinking: How do I get from point A (who I am now) to point B (where my mom and these women are)? Maybe it’s a matter of time, experience, and perhaps more suffering. But maybe it’s also a matter of constant mental discipling; I need to consistently notice and replace any thoughts that don’t serve a compassionate or loving cause. That’s hard! But I really, really, really, really want to be a wiser, kinder person by the time I’m a grandma, so I figure no time like the present to get started.

On that note, I will refrain from stating all of the negative, self-critiquing commentary that bubbled up when I watched the videos I recorded tonight. My competition deadline is December 31st, so Abe helped me record some pieces tonight. I won’t even post the Brahams, because after watching it I realized I need to overhaul the whole piece…but here are the Chopin Scherzo no. 2 and the first movement of Bach’s Italian Concerto.

Also, today’s pictures:

I tried making zimsterne again for my grandma. My mom went back to Springfield this afternoon, so this was another early morning project...
I tried making zimsterne again for my grandma. My mom went back to Springfield this afternoon, so this was another early morning project…
My mom loves her new scarf from Karin and wanted me to take a picture in case Karin reads this entry.
My mom loves her new scarf from Karin and wanted me to take a picture.
Lydia loves being with her cat again.
Lydia loves being with her cat again.
She gets wistful when she thinks about his adventures and says, "I hope my cat stays with me!"
She gets wistful when she thinks about his adventures and says, “I hope my cat stays with me!”
She also dressed herself today.
She also dressed herself today.
More fun with Puss.
More fun with Puss.
Mary hugged me when I got back from the temple. Instead of hugging her back, I took advantage of the camera in my hands and got this instead.
Mary hugged me when I got back from the temple. Instead of hugging her back, I took advantage of the camera in my hands and got this instead.
While I was practicing before my recordings, Abe let Lydia wear this headlamp and be Dora the Exploreer. They explored the whole house and then did crafts in the dark.
While I was practicing before my recordings, Abe let Lydia wear this headlamp and be Dora the Exploreer. They explored the whole house and then did crafts in the dark.

A perfect ending

I started off the day with an 8am session of Bikram Yoga. It felt awesome, and I hit 180 minutes of exercise this week! When I saw my doctor last week, he said to shoot for 150 minutes, so it felt really great to meet that goal.

I also finished the Book of Mormon yesterday, so I started again on the title page today. I have been thinking a lot about truth, courage, and missionary work lately. Missionary work confuses me, but thinking about it in terms of absolute truths helps me understand it a little better. Finishing and restarting a reading of the Book of Mormon always gets the juices flowing around truth, so my scripture study felt meaningful.

I even got some practice in, although my piano is by a huge window and can NEVER stay in tune. Right now it’s so out of tune I almost shudder to hear some registers (especially the upper), but I pressed on (!) through the awful sounds.

We also played in the snow today. Abe is sure that by the end of winter we will have a full blown snow fort, so he and the girls worked hard on it today:

Working hard on the snow fort.
Working hard on the snow fort.
Mary was at the ready.
Mary was at the ready.
And happy about it.
And happy about it.
:Lydia busied herself decorating the ground with snow angels.
:Lydia busied herself decorating the ground with snow angels.
The snow fort.
The snow fort.

We also went to This is the Place Heritage Park for their Candlelight Christmas with Balu, Tom, Suzanne, Steve, Charlie and Henry. We walked all over, sampling gingerbread, square dancing, learning about the first Christmas cards, signing Santa’s lists, meeting Santa, eating the best doughnuts I have ever had, and feeling moved by the live Nativity. Lydia spent the whole day anticipating the Baby Jesus and kept talking about how she would be quiet and not wake him, how she’d give him a binky, and how she’d take off her gloves when she saw him (I have no idea about that last part, but she was adamant…). Anyway, I love that place. To make it even better, at the end, Abe bought me a new wedding ring!!! I can only wear a plain band in my lab classes, and we found a plain silver band for $14.50!!!!!! It fit perfectly, and since I’ll probably wear it for the next decade, I could not be more pleased.

Mary Berry in her poof outfit. She toddled all around the park in this and kind of stole the show.
Mary Berry in her poof outfit. She toddled all around the park in this and kind of stole the show.

When I came home, I baked more cookies.

I baked a forest of bittersweet chocolate Christmas trees. Now if I can just get around to packaging them and giving them away before I eat them all...
I baked a forest of bittersweet chocolate Christmas trees. Now if I can just get around to packaging them and giving them away before I eat them all…

Oh! I made another pint of lemon curd today. I think I’m going to make this for Christmas brunch. It just so happens I have a lot of mascarpone and now a ton of lemon curd in the fridge already. Now I just have to make a million crepes and it’ll be all downhill from there.

And now, my mom is here!!! So I’m going to stop blogging and go talk to her.

Loving: today.

This morning we got off to a rocky, tantrum-y start; I even had the thought, “Oh, no! It’s only 8:30am and I’ve already had it up to HERE with being a mom!” …but things got better as soon as I took the girls to the Gateway Children’s Museum. They had so much fun playing in the water, “shopping,” climbing up stuff, and decorating paper stockings. We were the only ones who signed up for the stocking class, so they had the whole quiet craft room to themselves. It was such a nice note to end on, and the girls were both perfectly behaved–Mary didn’t even poop until we got back home. So considerate of her.

Lydia and I spent Mary’s nap reading a bunch of Christmas stories and playing the Primary book’s Christmas songs together, and at dinner I almost lost my voice cheering for every single bite Lydia took of her squash. (She took approximately 30…I lost count around 23 because around then I started cheering and playing high-five and tickle/hug games with Lydia in between each bite.) I cuddled Mary a lot, and basically enjoyed my children for the rest of the day. I ended up LOVING being a mom today.

After the kids went down, I learned a really simple, sweet piece called “Shepherd Boy,” by Grieg. The meditative, soft progression of the notes helped me reflect on the Good Shepherd and on the shepherds that visited Jesus. Considering one of my recording deadlines is fast approaching (the end of December–YIKES!), this was ultimately a foolish way to spend the limited time I have at the piano. But it also made my evening feel perfect, so I guess I don’t regret it that much.

I then discovered that Talenti ice cream containers are the perfect way to store the lemon curd I made today. I polished off the rest of the ice cream just in case I need another container tomorrow…

lemon curd.
My friend, Cierra, gave me this recipe. It didn’t turn out like hers because I had to attend to several emergencies while I was supposed to be stirring, but it was still delicious. Here’s where she got her recipe.

The only thing that would make the evening even better is if Abe had not JUST started his trip home from Rock Springs. I hate him traveling those middle-of-nowhere roads in the middle of the night, but guess what? This is his last trip with Guardsmark! Hip, hip, hooray!

And so for today’s pictures:

Why did I cuddle Mary so much today? Well, she missed her morning nap because of our outing, and she was a little sad for the rest of the day. Also, she kept getting stuck on this chair.
Why did I cuddle Mary so much today? Well, she missed her morning nap because of our outing, and she was a little sad for the rest of the day. Also, she kept getting stuck on this chair.
I forgot to post this picture from yesterday. Isn't it cute?
I forgot to post this picture from yesterday. Isn’t it cute?

potty rides and piano

When I wasn’t practicing piano today, I was either lying in bed or feeding my children. I’ve had a headache that I only forget to notice when I’m super focused (e.g., on the piano), so it’s been hard to get much done. Oh! But I did have a play date with Aria, Espen and Enna, which made the morning a delight. Enna waved to me! And I guess I did the treadmill this morning, so there was some activity in the day. Just not a lot.

Lydia, on the other hand had a TON of activity today. Since I was out of commission, she just ran around the house playing pretend the entire day. Even at meals she would pretend her utensils were Abe, Mary, her and me, and she’d say stuff like, “We are togever foh-ever, Ma-wee!” (Translation: “We are together forever, Mary!”).

I forgot to write down a cute exchange we had yesterday. I had been reprimanding Lydia a lot, and as I was practicing, I heard suspicious sounds coming from the kitchen. “Lydia, what are you doing?” I called out. There was a pause. “Mama, I don’t know,” came Lydia’s extremely exasperated reply. “Just pway the pwano, okay?” (Turns out she was engaging in one of her favorite forbidden activities: eating butter. Today I gave her a little lesson on how arteries clog up, and she hasn’t touched the butter since.)

Here are today’s pictures:

Before he left for work this morning, Abe gave the girls a ride.
Before he left for work this morning, Abe gave the girls a ride. Lydia’s wearing the same outfit she wore yesterday because, well, she never quite made it into pj’s last night. When she woke up, she was already dressed, so why make more work for everyone?
I made garlic mashed potatoes and wilted kale, and called it dinner.
I made garlic mashed potatoes and wilted kale and called that dinner. No one seemed to mind.
Before bed the girls got rides on the magic potty seat.
Before bed the girls got rides on the magic potty seat.
One of the girls got a faster ride than the other...
One of the girls got a faster ride than the other…

desultory paragraphs posing as a post

What, oh what to write about today. Well, whenever I run on the treadmill, I watch Youtube videos of various pianists. I love these videos so much that I am currently watching one (a master class Van Cliburn gave in Moscow) as I blog, so excuse the desultory nature of the blog I am about to write.

I got in three hours of practice today, which felt great. But by far the best part of today occurred after dinner when Abe, Lydia and I cuddled up on the couch to watch The Muppet’s Christmas Carol. Lydia spent the whole movie with her hands daintily clasped in happy anticipation of the Ghost of Christmas Future, but as soon as he made an appearance, she made an urgent plea for us to change the movie. Abe and I hugged her and reassured her, and she got to see that the Ghost of Christmas Future wasn’t quite as scary as she’d anticipated. Honestly, my eyes are so tired of screens that I spent most of the movie watching Lydia and listening to her commentary. That made my whole night.

Here are the pictures from today:

I tried this for the first time today. I found Lydia playing on the potty playing with her poop(!!!), so she had an impromptu shower. Since her hair was wet, I decided to try this braid out. It's not very even, but it's also much easier than I supposed.
I tried this for the first time today. I found Lydia playing on the potty playing with her poop(!!!), so she had an impromptu shower. Since her hair was wet, I decided to try this braid out. It’s not very even, but it’s also much easier than I supposed.
Lydia got to do my hair after i did hers.
Lydia got to do my hair after i did hers.
I vacuumed today. The whole time Mary was (happily) stuck in the basket she'd climbed into.
I vacuumed today. The whole time Mary was (happily) stuck in the basket she’d climbed into.
Lydia attired herself thus (this is chronologically out of order...pre-poop) and colored while I cleaned.
Lydia attired herself thus (this is chronologically out of order…pre-poop) and colored while I cleaned.
The girls matched today. That's Lydia dancing in the background.
The girls matched today. That’s Lydia dancing in the background.

After the girls decided not to take an afternoon nap, I took them to Tony Caputo’s for cheese and happy hippos.

This is what Mary looked like after her happy hippo.
This is what Mary looked like after her happy hippo.
The girls took a 20 minute nap at 6am, which gave me a head start on dinner. I made mac 'n cheese with Teleggio. Frankly, that was irresponsible in light of Abe's new, decreased salary. Also, I discovered that Teleggio is way better in fondue than in mac 'n cheese.
The girls took a 20 minute nap at 6am, which gave me a head start on dinner. I made mac ‘n cheese with Teleggio. Frankly, that was irresponsible in light of Abe’s new, decreased salary. Also, I discovered that Teleggio is way better in fondue than in mac ‘n cheese. The whole point of mac’n cheese is to comfort and feel familiar. Teleggio messes that all up.
This was the mess I decided not to clean this morning. Right now the room looks AMAZING, thanks to Abe's efforts while I blogged away. I would take a picture, but the camera card is in my computer, so you'll just have to trust me: He did a great job.
This was the mess I decided not to clean this morning. Right now the room looks AMAZING, thanks to Abe’s efforts while I blogged away. I would take a picture, but the camera card is in my computer, so you’ll just have to trust me: He did a great job.