Lily and I have still been under the weather (Lily especially) and it has given our older children to show their responsible and caring side as they led out and did activities with the younger children. Here is Lydia baking with Ammon and Clarissa. The cookies turned out great!
Here is a picture of Mary reading to Ammon and here is a video of her reading to him.
Then, later in the day, I had an experience that caused me to reflect how responsible my oldest two children really are. I’ve been more involved in Lydia’s harp practice lately, and today when I told it was time to practice, she threw a major grumbly fit (which happens most of the time). I was feeling so tired and overwhelmed from all that is hitting our family that I spontaneously looked at her and we had the following conversation:
Dad: “Fine, quit harp. Just quit it. I am way too tired to force you to do it.”
Lydia: “No dad, I don’t want to quit harp. I just hate practice!”
Dad: “Practice is most of what harp is, and I’m way too tired to keep making you do it. I’m exhausted. Let’s just be done.”
Lydia: “No dad, I want to keep doing harp. O-K, fine I’ll do it! Will you do it with me?”
It’s like wants the counter-pressure was gone and I wasn’t forcing her to do it, a part of her brain realized, “Holy Cow, dad’s gone rogue….but the harp has to get done….but if he’s not going to make me do it…..who will? I will…I will make sure I do my harp!”
I had a very similar experience with Mary the other day. They both protest so much (especially Lydia), but deep down inside they are responsible, they are good, and they do want to work. I see that every time I try reverse psychology. I’m being careful with it though. One day Lydia might say, “fine I’m done.” I haven’t quite planned out what to do yet in that scenario…….
During harp Lydia told me. “I don’t want to quit harp because then I can’t brag about being able to play it.”
Rather than reprimanding her motives (which was tempting to do), I sat back and felt pleased at her self-awareness and transparency. I considered how bragging rights was a fine place to start if it got her through her harp practice. Motives can improve over time. Right now, I’m wanting her to learn a skill.
Isn’t life like that? I do so much of the same stuff I have always done, but now for such different reasons. It’s amazing how God gives us time for our hearts to grow into our actions.
After harp practice, I took Lydia to the garage to do the values activity I’ve been talking to her about. Starting at age 9, I want each of my kids to pick one value every year on their birthday that they think is central to their identity. Then they write the value on a wooden block. The goal for me is that when they leave to college, they will have a token of their first best stab at who they are and what they value, written out in blocks, to help guide them in their life on their own.
Lydia chose determination. I thought about it and it made complete sense. She just finished crushing it in the school reading competition by reading 5 or so hours a day for several days in a row. Two years ago, after scoring a low reading grade, she single-handedly decided to become an amazing reader, and worked at it (on her own) until she read the entire Harry Potter series. And harp is yet one more example of this girl who simply wont quit. Lydia, I am so so proud of you and I pray your determination takes you so so far in life 🙂