On Saturday morning I tried to join Abe for our exercise routine, but while I was working out I started thinking about the Nas Daily clips and wondered, “Why am I not forest bathing in a Japanese forest right now? Instead I’m worried our dryer is broken, I haven’t slept in five nights (Clarissa woke up after Abe got home), and I live in Orem.”
At that point I felt so depressed that I just parked myself on the couch and watched Abe work out.
After that I told Abe I had messed up and done something wrong. I felt like my purpose revolved around smelling Japanese cherry trees, riding camels in Egypt, and studying the beauty of Moroccan window handles– and definitely NOT being home with four little kids all the time. I missed the boat. I made all the wrong choices! My life needed a drastic intervention.
At this point Abe got a little frustrated with me and blamed social media for my crazy delusional meltdown.
So I took my crazy meltdown upstairs and vented on my poor, sweet, unsuspecting mother and blamed her for all of my “bad” choices. It was one of my worst moments and I am not proud of my behavior. I’m not great at taking personal responsibility under normal circumstances, but under duress, I am particularly weak in this area. Thankfully I have a loving, forgiving mother who responded to my breakdown with love and kindness. I am so lucky.
We spent the rest of the day trying to recover from my meltdowns. I finally went to bed sort of early, although Clarissa again spent most of the night awake…
It was a rough day.
Here are some happy pictures, though!
