On Monday I was still feeling ill and Abe had been up all night because Clarissa and Ammon kept waking up (and, in Clarissa’s case, staying up). Abe realized he has a lot more days off this year than he has ever had and took the day off.
I hadn’t been to the temple in a long time and took advantage of the opportunity to go. I bumped into Lydia’s harp teacher, Anamae, at the temple! That was a highlight.
The temple also made me feel grateful for the painful experiences in life. They are an indispensable part of the knowledge I came to earth to acquire. Also, I love Eve. Mormons revere Eve for her bravery and forward thinking in eating the apple, and I feel that her story has layers upon layers of meaning, inspiration, and guidance for me. For example: Sometimes the “right” thing is not rigid obedience, but instead purposeful, intentional living. Even though Eve was beguiled by SATAN, her choice was, at the end of the day, one that we (at least Mormons) revere. It was a beautiful, inspired, thoughtful, faithful, loving choice. She stepped out of divinely drawn boundaries and by so doing became “the mother of all living.”
This tells me that God may not care as much about who inspired our choices as much as She and He care about how we make them.
I believe polygamy was not inspired, that women should have equal power in the church, and that gay people should be able to get married in the temple. For me, these beliefs are a departure from the teachings of our prophet (divinely drawn boundaries for belief), but they are beliefs that I have thought a lot about and take personal responsibility for owning. They are just a few of my “apples.” They come from my reading of Christ’s nature and life and are personal conclusions that I can wholeheartedly own.
I have a lot more apples, and I am grateful to Eve for leading the way on living a life that questions and leads by action –and also follows in faith.
After the temple I came home quickly before heading back out for an appointment with my therapist. I have a tendency to treat her as a confessor, and while sometimes that helps me feel expiated, this time I felt like she was one step away from calling child services on me. I left feeling a little paranoid and panicky, which is not the point of therapy (at least I don’t think it is).
Then I met up with Abe, Clarissa, and Lydia for Lydia’s parent teacher conference. (My mom was at home with Ammon during his “nap” time and Mary’s coloring time.)
I felt like a terrible parent because I had just complained about my kids to the therapist, and then at the parent teacher conference Mrs. Issa reminded me that Lydia is AMAZING. She has the kindest, sweetest heart. She never has “girl drama” and is known for being kind to everyone. She is at the top of her class for math and social studies, and has made over one year’s progress in reading since August. She started off the year at decoding and now is at a 1.3 level (first grade, third month). Mrs. Issa said social studies is Lydia’s passion. She hangs onto every word and retains all of the details she learns about other cultures. (We already knew that because Lydia is bonkers about China and Germany, and really any other culture she gets a good introduction to.)
We were so proud of Lydia. My favorite part was being reminded of her sweet heart. She is so forgiving and kind. Sometimes that can get slightly hidden by how loud and joyfully obnoxious she can be (which is exacerbated by the fact that Mary has a sensitive nervous system and can’t handle loud people unless it’s herself throwing a tantrum…). Yikes! ANYWAY, Lydia is awesome, we’re proud of her and so grateful she’s ours. 🙂
Then we drove to Trader Joe’s and stocked up. I can’t wait until one opens in Orem this year. I really can’t.
We got back to Orem and hustled the girls to ballet and tumbling, and then it was time to eat a quick dinner before Mary’s piano lesson. I did not feel up to facing her teacher with the lack of practicing we did, so I let Abe go for me. He took some videos so I would know what to work on this week.
Then Abe got some ice cream for the girls to celebrate Lydia’s excellent parent teacher conference.
I was feeling feverish by that point and went to bed early.